Submissions

Crazy Boobs (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

My breasts were always a bit different, one was a tiny bit bigger than the other, you’d have to be real close or touch them to feel the difference, but since I gave birth a year ago, it completely changed. I tried breastfeeding my daugther but it never really worked. I breastfed her for a week before switching to formula saving both her health and my mental health (I was a crying mess, feeling guilty and unworthy), I don’t regret this choice, breastfeeding is beautiful but not possible for all woman and it’s ok. Only my right breast (the ”biggest” one) produced milk, the other one was dry. I believe this is what gave my breast this look. I’m crying as I look at the pictures. Prior to giving birth I was a confident woman, I’ve never being thin, I’m a bit chunky and I like that, my husband also and I was felt super confortable around him. But it changed. Although he’s never said anything about my breasts I feel ashamed and so ugly. I hate them. I always wear a sport bra because it keeps them flat and the size different doesn’t show to much. I sleep with the bra on sometimes, because when my arm brush past the ”biggest” one it makes me cry. We want to have another child but it scares me that my breasts will get even more weird after an other pregnancy. I’d like to get surgery, just to reduce the size of the big one…

I’m lucky, I didn’t get stretch marks (some on my tummy but they faded real fast) and although still a bit big my belly doesn’t make me sad so much. My tits however…

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: a year

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Round 2…. as the bell dings in my head im prepared to fight, unfortunately, my inner self on what most of us on here know as that little voice that says, ” your body is ruined now…look at all those stretch marks…do my boobs really hang that low…how is that even possible?” yes that dreaded post partum voice. It isn’t easy to get on here and to share how I really feel deep down.. that dark inner part of me I don’t want anyone to see. Because then they would see just how much I hate myself. Im scared of what this second pregnancy will bring..how many more stretch marks will I have..how much more will my boobs sag..will I have a stomach that will forever hang=??? I know it isn’t healthy and the thought of letting my loved ones in enough to see this hurt would worry them and why let others hurt along with me? This isnt their battle…so instead I will just share anon on here with all you beautiful woman. Whats sad is I look on here I get frustrated with these posts..I say to myself..”She has no reason to hate herself ..that body is beautiful..one of a womans!!” but who am I to say what these woman should hate or not? Lol not only do I have a deep self hate but clearly I am a pretty big hypocrite …(by now yall are probably thinking this woman shouldn’t be left to care for anyone lol) but all joking aside this website is my rock..well aside From God..i guess I should say my rock of selfishness, since im only focusing so hard on the outside. This is my pregnant body…I love it one day..hate it just the next.. I love the little life inside that im holding but hate the outside appearance and scared I will forever be a fat stretched saggy lump of skin that will turn away my husband to a greener (hotter) pasture. So with all this being said Thank you!! Tahnk you to everyone who has ever posted on here and the biggest thank you to woman who created it!!

Age : 25
Pregnancies : 2
Oldest child age : 6
Current pics right now are 6 months pregnant..

first one was CS and I will be having a CS with the second.

I Feel Like They Can’t Be Fixed (Adria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Body Dysmorphic Disroder, Body Image, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

20 (age)
Pregnancies (1)
8 months post partum by cesarean.

When i first became pregnant, during my first trimester i lost 20 pounds. Than the rest of my pregnancy i only gained 10 pounds. After i delivered i then lost 25 more. This is what alot of people would call “bouncing back” and yes in some ways i did. Two weeks after delivery i could fit back into my pre pregnancy clothing. 3 months after delivery though i developed a condition called body dysmorphic disorder, it took over my life to the piont of suicide. At around the same piont my husband wanted to leave because he couldnt understand why i felt so horrible about myself, he got tired of trying to help but with no results. Ne never left though he stuck by my side and continued to try, much to my appreciation. If it wernt for him i wouldnt be here to write this post today. I went to counciling and i am no where near as down as i was thankfully. With exersize i got some of my old form back. The only thing hindering me from total and complete love for my self again is my breasts, they make me sick. To rememeber what they used to be and what they are now is dissapionting. I weigh 118 pounds now, i think im ok with the rest of my body now. I still have my days i just hope one day that i can accept the changes my son did to my body and any future children as well. Included is a picture of my handsom son, hes keeping me going :)

Updated here.

What Pregnancy Has Done (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 22
Children: 1 Child, 7 months old

Like most young ladies, I struggled with body image. It was the most severe when I was in middle school and my doctor made a comment about my weight being high. I was only 124 pounds, which was a healthy weight for my height. I ripped myself apart for the longest time. When I was 20, I met my husband. I weighed 120 pounds, at 5’2″. I knew I looked good, but I didn’t feel it. We planned our pregnancy and successfully conceived one month after we married. I embraced pregnancy because I finally had a reason to look bloated! I loved it so much, we are planning on a second pregnancy already.

I gained 20 pounds while I was pregnant, which is slightly below the 25-35 pounds of weight gain that is recommended for my body type. I was on track to gain 25-35, but I stopped gaining weight at 28 weeks because I lost my appetite. My baby boy, Finn, was born at 38 weeks and 1 day, weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces. I didn’t get a single stretch mark and my body snapped right back into shape. My friends called me a freak of nature and my neighbor told me that I am the kind of woman that other women hate.

Now, at 7 months postpartum, I am 5’2″ and 115 pounds. I have never been in better shape, and not only that, I’ve never had so much self confidence! There is nothing I did to get where I am today. I did not exercise during pregnancy or after pregnancy and I do not eat very well. I honestly believe that breastfeeding may even have had something to do with it.
My breastfeeding story is interesting, to say the least. I breastfed until Finnegan was 3 weeks old, completely stopped for 8 weeks, and decided to relactate when he was 10 weeks old. I pumped around the clock, took every supplement and drug I could get my hands on, and regained a full supply and our exclusively breastfeeding relationship within one month. My weight plateaued for a while until I relactated, when I lost an additional 5 pounds.

I feel like I get a lot of scrutiny because of my figure. People tell me that it isn’t fair or that it’s wrong. I believe that every woman has a shape, this just happens to be mine, and mine just happens to be one that society favors. Unfortunately that makes the women who have naturally different shapes feel that they are doing something wrong, or that they are not beautiful. All woman are beautiful, though! All mothers are beautiful. Every body is amazing. Just look at what you did with it; look at who you made. :) Pregnancy and childbirth are the most spectacular experience and the most incredible thing I have ever done!

The photos I have posted are of myself at full-term while pregnant with Finn, myself at 7 months postpartum, and my bouncing baby boy! Thank you for reading.

Marriage Help? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Question, Submissions 10 Comments

I came across this website today, and it has helped me so, so much. I am so grateful for all of the women who are unashamed to be themselves even though they are trapped in bodies they hate. I am 8 months pp, and I have the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen in my entire life! I am really, really happy and I am so glad I am a mother!

But I can’t get over my nasty body. I have lost my baby weight, but everything moved. I have thin legs now, but I can’t get my stomach to shrink. I have a question for all of you lovely ladies who read this site: How do you have sex when you don’t feel “sexy”? My husband is amazing and supportive and tells me that I am beautiful every day, but I can’t stand sex because I can’t stand to look at my body, let alone have someone else look at it. This is causing a lot of friction in my marriage, but I have no idea what to do about it!

Please help me.

This is my amazing daughter :D

070813-anon-1

Embrace Your Body! (Mrs. Roussell)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Children: 1
6 months Pp

Previous post here.

My First Post was at 4 week pp and I felt horrible about my body..I was constantly comparing my body to other mothers but I now realize every woman Is different and as we get older our bodies change. It’s up to me to change my attitude along with my body!! I have diastasis recti so I can’t do traditional abdominal work outs so I still have a pouch..to solve that problem I bought spanx :-), my weight is between 125-129..my Pre pregnancy weight was 123 so I can fit most of my old clothes but my boobs are still huge and my hips are wider…I’ve embraced my curves…my message to all new moms is as time goes on your body will change..EMBRACE IT..appreciate your body for what it is…it made a HUMAN!

070313-mrsroussell-1

Still Look 5 Months Pregnant After C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 14 Comments

I gave birth to my beautiful twin boy/girl via c section in January this year (2013). When I was pregnant I didn’t give much thought to what I would look like afterwards. I put on 2 1/2 stone whilst pregnant and all my weight was on my stomach, it was huge as you can imagine with two in there, I could barely move at the end.

After I left the hospital I also left with a very pregnant looking belly which I wasn’t expecting, 5 months on it has gone down loads but I still have a very poochy looking belly. I believe this is down to disastis recti. I have been doing exercises to try and strengthen my core and walk nearly every day with the buggy but my belly still stays the same, will it ever loose the roundness?? It has been this size for a while now and just doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller.

I was very lucky that I didn’t get any stretch marks but I would swap this belly for a few tiger stripes :(

Please excuse my mismatched underwear lol!

Age – 36
No. of Pregnancies – 1 (Twins)
Age of Children – 5 Months
Post Partrum – 5 Months

4 Kids and Having Trouble with Weight Loss (Briana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Four or More Pregnancies, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 6 Comments

Well I am 22 years old, and I have 4 wonderful kids that I would never take back for the world.I had my first son when I was 15 years old. He is now 6 I also have a 3 year old son that I had at 18 and a 1 year old son that I had at 21. My daughter is 6 months old. All of my kids are 3 years apart other than my last two, my daughter was not planned at all after having my last son about a month after having him I found out I was pregnant again and so my daughter and my youngest son are 11 months apart. When I had my First son I was about 102 when I had him I was about 205 and it took me 3 years to loose the weight to be back down to 105 and then I found out I was pregnant with my second son. I was able to watch my weight with him and after having him I lost a lot of my weight and was about 140 then I had my gallbladder removed and started to gain weight again out of no where. my weight stayed at 150 for about 3 years then I got pregnant again with my last son and I did ok only weighting out at 180 after having him and then got pregnant with my daughter, I didn’t get the chance to loose any of my weight or even try after having my youngest son when I got pregnant with my daughter. When I went into labor with her I nocked out at about 210 after having her I lost about 6-7 pounds my first week then by the second week I was back up to being 207 and I am breast-feeding which I thought would help me loose the weight faster but it seems like my stomach has just bloated and wont go down for nothing, I drink tons and tons of water and I try to find the time to work out but it’s not so easy with a 4 year old and a 1 years old and a 6 month old around the house.Plus trying to do my online classes and getting my oldest son off to school every morning and getting him home from summer school is just a big hassle. My Fiance works about 45 hrs a week so he is gone most of the time and I stay at home with the kids because I chose to go back to school to go higher in my career, I am a medical assistant but im working on my CNA degree online and attend a class every week one night. I just feel like I can’t loose this weight for nothing and when I try it does nothing and I see no changes. I know it takes time and I just feel like Im a fat whale when I try anything on it doesn’t fit and I can’t do anything about it. I know I am writing alot and its just me blabbing on about myself but when you sit at home with kids all day and have no one to talk with it takes a toll on you and by the time my fiance comes home we both are worn out and ready to just go to bed to do it all over again the next day. Our sex life has changed ALOT since we have had out last 2 kids and I feel like he just dosn’t look at me the same as he did since i have gained this weight, Im sorry this is so long.

Hyperpigmentation (1st Time Mother)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Hyperpigmentation, Submissions 10 Comments

This is my first pregnancy and I wasn’t aware of how much your body would change when you become pregnant. I was expecting a lot of stretchmarks and was terrified of both those and extra skin. Come to find out my biggest challenge is hyperpigmentation. During my second trimester I started noticing freckles on my face and chest. After a week more would appear and they started to connect. I ended up having the pregnancy mask, my belly become seriously dark and my nipples seemed to stretch all the way down to my ribcage. My nipples seem had it the worst. Since the dark marks are so significant I don’t ever plan on putting on another bathing suit or wearing any shirts that remotely show the top of my chest. I loved my body prior to pregnancy; I was 104 lbs at 5’4. By the time my pregnancy ended I was 160lbs. I have SUPER dark stretchmarks on my bum and hips oh and upper thighs but that seems to be all for right now. They are very noticeable but my husband doesn’t mind and I don either. I had a natural birth and my little one is everything I could hope for. I seriously dislike my chest but im glad that he’s here and healthy. The pic I took in my bra is 4 weeks before I became pregnant. The pic in the tub is the day before I had my son. The pic with my belly is 1 day postpoartum.

Age: 26
Number of pregnancies: 1st
Age of children: 5 days old (in picks I was 1 day postpartum)

New Body, New Outlook – Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

When I got my first stretch mark during pregnancy I would pour over this site trying to piece together an image of what I might look like after birth. And then, after I had my daughter I did the same thing, but in hopes of seeing updates and people’s bodies improving over time. I wanted realistic expectations and I also wanted hope. I felt like if people bounced right back they had pp belly/weight loss pictures all over the place, but if people got stretch marks/loose skin/c-section scars or anything considered “unsightly” they hid them from the world. I can’t tell you have far I’ve come in a year when it comes to my body image. I really feel for women when I see them dealing with all those emotions right after birth. It gets better, so so so much better. Sure.. you come across women who feel superior if they escaped pregnancy without major body changes, but I feel worse for them having that kind of mentality than I ever would for myself. My husband has been my rock through it all. He told me I was sexy, when I didn’t feel like I was. He didn’t ignore what I considered flaws, he embraced them. Having that kind of support (and the the support of a few friends who have been there) probably helped me the most. My biggest struggle throughout this whole past year was when I saw the pre-pregnancy number on the scale and my body still needed so much “work” in my eyes. I guess I had it built in my mind that if I could get that number again, than everything would look the same. I went through a bit of an emotional relapse when I realized that was not the case, but I got back on the wagon and I’ve been kicking butt ever since. I’m now below my pre-pregnancy weight and getting ready to start my journey into weight training (thanks to a weight training inspirational post on SOAM!). I included some pictures from the past 13 months. Hopefully they reach the right person struggling to accept their new body and gives them some hope/confidence. Beauty has nothing to do with a mark free body…work on loving yourself as a whole and I promise the way you view your stretch marks will change completely (or at least *most* days!) I still don’t find them attractive by themselves, but they are a part of me and I accept them. I work harder because of them, my relationship with myself and my spouse is stronger after facing the emotional challenges they brought on, and I am overall happy with my body. And seriously ladies, we have to stop hiding!! We’re just setting up our daughters, sisters, friends to do the same thing. Normalize motherhood and the changes it brings! Even if it means having a shot or two before throwing on that two piece for the first time haha. Do your part and encourage other moms to stop feeling ashamed and do the same! I’m wearing mine as we speak :)