Questions and responses I have for all the white men who were angry when I said Norse tattoos and bald heads are giving N*zi vibes

Before I go on, I want to be very clear that when I talk about the idea of reclaiming symbols stolen by Nazis, my stance is that we should not try to reclaim them. Because once white supremacy has tainted something, it’s like spilling soup on the ground – we can’t get it back.

But I am speaking to white people only here.
1. They are my people and therefore my responsibility. Other communities are perfectly capable of governing themselves based on their collective circumstances and histories.
2. Because there are modern religions who are not in any way related to Christianity or its crimes which have also used or use versions of the swastika, which is a very ancient symbol. There are some Buddhists and Hindi who are working to reclaim the symbol for them. I am not speaking to these cases, either.

And onto ….

Questions and responses I have for all the white men who were angry when I said Norse tattoos are giving nazi vibes

After an unfortunate conversation on Facebook in a private group I’m in, I had some thoughts:

1. No, I am not jumping to conclusions. This man *chooses* to dress in a way that signals “skinhead” and I am responding based on my cultural understanding of what those symbols mean.

2. No, it is not the same as if I accused someone Muslim of being an extremist. For one thing, folx who choose to follow Norse paganism are not an oppressed class. In the United States, Muslims are. For another thing, most Muslims are practicing what their families have been practicing for hundreds of years. Norse neopaganism is very new and Old Norse has not been active for hundreds of years.

3. PS. Wanna guess who it was that brought back Norse paganism?

4. No, there is no real difference between neo-Nazis or Nazis or skinheads. A nazi is a Nazi is a Nazi. I will not be taking questions.

5. No, my “Eat the Rich” face mask that you went and found on my Facebook profile when you decide to do some light stalking because you didn’t like what I had to say does not make me a hypocrite. Me wearing that in public does not oppress the rich, nor does it signify that I am an unsafe person because I am in no way a threat to rich people. And the sentiment is not a threat to anyone else so exactly who is being harmed when I wear the mask?

6. No, calling out Nazi symbols is not the same as transphobia for fuck’s sake.

7. Why. The. Fuck. Do you want a Hitler mustache? Why is that the part of 1930s fashion you, as an apparent connoisseur of 1930s fashion, absolutely must have? Why can’t you avoid a Hitler mustache while enjoying 1930s fashion??

I rarely know how to do the right thing, socially. But I am hearing BIPOC, Jewish and Trans activists asking white people to speak up in white spaces. And so I did. And let me tell you, the other white people were not into it. It’s so strange, and frankly confusing, some of the arguments they made. Like I am not even kidding about #7. That’s the hill you’re prepared to die on? For reals?

Anyway, it threw me until I realized: that’s exactly how this works. The system trains us to react to protect it without thinking, because once we do the thinking, we can see the system is toxic and needs to go. So when a person pushes back against it, the system remains protected. If I call out white supremacy, white supremacy will fight back.

People were claiming I was the bully for making assumptions, for judging a book by its cover. For making assumptions about the way this person looked. But what assumption am I supposed to draw when I see somebody who looks like a Nazi? Some books should be judged by their covers. Like, if you see the Necronomicon, fucking do not read it aloud, just lock the cabin door behind you and find a different AirBnb for next weekend.

I thought we were kicking Nazis. If I go out in my Nazi kicking boots am I expected to interview every nazi-looking person I meet to assess whether they actually are a Nazi or not?

With white supremacy on the rise (even Arnold Schwarzenegger has spoken about it recently), why do you choose a look that could get you mistaken for a Nazi? Why do you want to present as something so dangerous and evil? Why can’t you find a new look? New symbols? Human beings are so creative that we were able to put human beings on a whole other rock in space and you can’t find a new shape?

If it looks like a Nazi, it’s a fucking Nazi.

It’s time to choose your uniform; what side are you on?

Update (Marissa)

Previous post here.

Update January 2022:
Since those early months postpartum, I have added another sweet kiddo to our family. My son is about to turn 3, and I am almost 1 year postpartum from my second. Not much has changed physically since my first – besides becoming more active. I am now 26! Here are some update photos. I’m not the same woman I was in my first post – I’m so glad. I have come to grow and release much of my harsh words to myself. Here are photos of my bodily changes between 5-10 months postpartum after my second. My advice is to accept this journey where you are – & know that you will continue to change inside and out. Wear the cute outfit, bathing suit, don’t give up on exercise if you loved it before, don’t consider yourself less worthy of good health. I started a workout program just because I love fitness. I found myself almost depriving myself because I knew it wouldn’t “fix my loose skin” but I realized… so? It helps me be a healthier happier person – shouldn’t I invest? So I did. Best wishes my friends.

40 and finally accepting (Ruth)

Hi, I’m a 40 year old mother of three. My last pregnancy was my third and last Caesarean section 14 years ago. I had heavy babies, and at my heaviest (during pregnancy) I have weighed 210lbs. I now weigh 154lbs and wear a UK size 12. I have an overhang which I don’t think I’ll ever lose without surgery. I do Yoga daily and my body is very strong, but my skin is very loose! Everything else on my body escaped pretty much unscathed, except my tummy which I am still self conscious of, but less so than in my younger days.

If my pictures help any other mother to feel ‘normal’ (I mean, what’s that anyway??) then I’ll be happy. I spent too many years hating my body, despite the miracles it has performed.

Time to accept it and begin to love myself again.

Just a quick update – forgive the mess around here!

Hello, friends!

I’ve been pretty devastatingly disabled for the last two and a half years, as many of you know. It’s been particularly difficult to recover because of the particular hellscape that is medical and mental health care in the United States. I’ve only recently been able to access a doctor who recognizes my ADHD and is willing to treat it – but I have to pay out of pocket to do so. In any case, whoa boy has Adderall been changing my *life*. Suddenly tasks that used to make me feel like I was drowning, feel reasonable. It’s incredible to simply be able to say “I should do laundry” and THEN I JUST DO THE LAUNDRY. What? That’s not to say I’m all better. I still struggle almost daily with depression, anxiety, long-term autistic burnout, and, yes, the ADHD as well. I feel on the upswing for the first time in two years, but I know it’s still quite a ways until I am back to my old self, and even longer before I am back to my old self AND ALSO treating and correctly accommodating for the neurodivergence I spent 41 years undiagnosed with. Undiagnosed without? That sentence was kind of a journey, and I apologize or something? haha

All that said, I have slowly been getting back to work here and in our social media spaces. I have been publishing both infoposts and Badass Bitches posts. I have been posting at Tiktok (both personal and professional stuff) and sharing some of those in reels at Instagram. And, you may notice, I’ve removed ads from this website. In truth, this was primarily because earnings have changed and it was no longer worth it to have the code all fucked up because of ads doing nothing for me, monetarily. But it’s always been a goal. I had just hoped to be more financially stable when I finally got to this place, haha I’ve also been trying to relearn how to manage the design aspect of this site, but two years of my brain being mush has apparently rotted all that I previously knew so it’s taking some time to relearn it and I apologize that things are kind of wonky for now. Wonky but functional is like my whole aesthetic.

Thanks for sticking around. I’ll soon be actively asking for submissions again. And if you happen to have sent a submission in during this time when I was not functional (but always wonky!) please be patient as I *will* get to it.

Healing from a mental health crisis without social or familial support is a long process. Thank you so much for sticking through it with me. Love to you all.

A Timeline of Fashionable Bodies

banner image for blog post A Timeline of Fashionable Bodies

This one began as a project in my Women’s Studies 102 class that I took as part of my WS minor a few years ago. We had to create a zine on a feminist topic and my group did body image (of course lol). I wound up creating this idea of a timeline showing how popular body shapes have changed over the years. I think it’s a powerful concept to keep in mind as we go through the work of learning to love, or at least accept, the bodies we live in. The idea that we could go from a curvy af Gibson Girl to a straight, skinny Flapper within just 20 years blows my mind. Because unlike clothing, one cannot change the shape of their body at will.

Before I go on, I want to just ask that you keep in mind that a body’s primary function is to serve the person who lives in it. I know it may not always serve it perfectly, or even well enough, but if you are reading this, it is serving you. It is for you to experience the world through sense. It is for you to think and learn and grow. It is for you to give and receive pleasure. It is not for others, ever. You may very well choose to share it with others in various ways (sex, pregnancy, or more). But it is always primarily for you. The fact that society has made us all believe it is meant to look a certain way is simply toxic and manipulative. And you deserve better. That’s why we’re here doing this work.

OK here we go!

banner 2 The Gibson Girl

1890s – The Gibson Girl

The “Gibson Girl” is named for Charles Dana Gibson whose illustrations made these bodies iconic. The waists were made to appear extra tiny because of the use of corsets and other illusions (1).

A Belgian actress and model, Camille won $2,000 in the early 1900’s in a contest to find a real life Gibson Girl (2).

banner 3 The Flapper

1920s – The Flapper

By the 1920s the flapper was all the rage with her straight, flat-chested, boyish figure, and short bob hairstyles.

The Gibson Girl shape was often synonymous with Suffragists (2). The flapper was also a style identified with independent women (3). What do other body shapes of different eras symbolize?

banner 4 The Sexpot

1950s – The Sexpot

To this day, we consider Marilyn Monroe to be the epitome of classic beauty and femininity with her curvy figure and blonde hair. We often try (incorrectly) to compare her size with modern sizes, or her body with modern celebrities (4).

Marilyn is remembered as a ditzy, superficial, social climber but she was actually a highly intelligent, resourceful, and independent woman who worked for equity in her industry

banner 5 The Stick Figure

1960s – The Stick Figure

Only about a decade later, we swung wildly back to straight and skinny bodies like Twiggy’s, an English teenager who became one of the first international supermodels.

Twiggy was associated with the Mods of the UK, and like all youth counterculture movements, the Mods pushed back on archaic societal ideals. Not unlike the Flappers of the 20s.

banner 6 Fitness Curves

1980s – Fitness Curves

By the 1980’s we wanted curves again, but in the decade of Jazzercize and fitness videos, women were expected to be physically fit as well. Or to appear that way, at least. Eating disorders were on the rise in the 70s and 80s (5).

banner 7 Skinny Again

1990s – Skinny Again

Bodies like Fiona Apple’s or Kate Moss’ of the 90s are often called “heroin chic” which is cringeworthy. Bodies of all sizes, shapes, colors, abilities, and in all states of health are good bodies!

Besides, heroin addiction is nothing to be flippant about!

banner 8 Gibson 2.0?

2010s – Gibson 2.0?

In the 2010s, women were expected to have extreme curves and *also* a thigh gap. What in the misogyny??

Think about how the Kardashians are percieved for their bodies. How have our attitudes towards body shapes and the women who live in them changed over the last century?

Remember that your body doesn’t exist to be viewed, but to carry you through your life.

All Bodies are Good Bodies:
fat bodies, skinny bodies, curvy bodies, straight bodies, trans bodies, disabled bodies, intersex bodies, bodies of color, tall bodies, short bodies, ALL bodies

banner 9 Sources Cited Below

1. Chopin, Kate. “The 1900’s Answer to Barbie- the Gibson Girl.” Kate Chopin, Loyola University: New Orleans,

2. “The Prince Of Pilsen: The People In The Piece.” The Play Pictorial. XXII (IV): 144. August 1904.

3. Editors. “Flappers.”, A&E Television Networks, 6 Mar. 2018,

4. Berlin, Erika. “What Dress Size Was Marilyn Monroe, Actually?” Mental Floss, Mental Floss, 30 July 2015,

5. Deans, Emily. “A History of Eating Disorders.” Psychology Today, Psychology Today, 11 Dec. 2011,

Postpartum Poem (Molly)

My name is Molly Lynch. I am 27 years old, I have a 4 month old son, and I have post partum depression. It hit me like a wave and I couldn’t believe how many women struggle with this, and dont speak their truth. I have written a poem to my son Theodore about my experience, and am hoping to share it with others so that their stories can be heard and shared.

My poem is called “the lonely island”

A lonely island, just him and me
His wails continue, just let me be.
I’m so tired, why doesnt he care?
He’s selfish, dependent, stripping me bare

Where is the bundle of joy I was promised?
My sanity and happiness constantly compromised
I sit and cry holding you tight
You grip my finger with all your might
I love you and hate you, so ashamed to say
The time ticks by slowly, day after day

This little blue pill, promises the world
To make everything better, to stop the unfurl
They call it post partum and promise it wont last
But it’s been 16 weeks, I just want my mind back
And slowly but surely, things look brighter
Hes waiting for me, because hes a fighter.
My bundle of joy, so loving and forgiving
Loves me unconditionally, relying on me to continue living

I’m sorry Theodore, but mommy is better
I’ve fought tooth and nail for you,
And so I give you this letter.
A promise that I will always be here, no matter the cost
I love you more than air, even when I’m lost.
I’ll fight this disease to be the mom you deserve
Because you are the light of my life, you’re love I preserve

So stop growing little one
Mommy loves you
You are my sun
I love you to the moon, and more than every star in the sky
Because you are my one and only, you are my special little guy.

Postpartum (Iceece)

Age when I gave birth 21
This was my only pregnancy & I had to have a csection.
My son is 11 months old now

I went into labor on my own at 330am and was going in for a no epidural natural birth. Things quickly changed and I got the epidural only for the guy to mess it up and have to take it out to restart. The epidural didn’t even work and I was having back labor like no other. I was also bleeding but the nurses just thought it was from checking me. I made it all the way to a 9 before my cervix swelled shut. Later they found out the bleeding was from me bleeding internally, I had to be taken to have an emergency c section. Everything went good, and I got to meet my beautiful baby boy.

Two months later I had to be cut open again to have my gallbladder removed. I didn’t get to fully heal from my c section before the surgery so I had to heal from two surgery’s while caring for my newborn and my 3 year old step son who lives with us full time. (My husband traveled work at the time, so for most part I didn’t have help) My little boy refused a bottle and was breastfed so you could imagine the pain I was in trying to feed him. But he is definitely worth it all.

Images: purple bra black pants 3 weeks postpartum
C section scar with baby I was 1 month postpartum
White bra grey pants scars I was 2 months post baby and 4 days post gallbladder surgery
Nude breastfeeding baby I was 5 months postpartum
Character pajama bottoms with stomach tattoo is today 11 months postpartum

My First Birth (Anonymous)

~Your Age: 25 now (23 when my son was born)
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years

This is long so please bare with me

August 2016 I was told I had a higher chance of not being able to have kids because I had PCOS. My husband and I were sad when we found out…. We started having sex thinking nothing of it cuz hey I couldn’t get pregnant… well we were wrong. November 2016 we found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.

During pregnancy everything was fine. My son was growing perfectly. I had the usual morning sickness 1st trimester, burst of energy 2nd trimester, and super uncomfortable 3rd trimester. I gained a lot of weight… pre-pregnancy I was 150lbs…. I am 2 years post partum and I now weigh 200 after losing 30lbs the last few months.

My husband and i were planning a homebirth (his mom had 13 kids and all were homebirths). I’ll be honest I wasn’t very fond of the idea because I didn’t know people still did homebirths. But I did A LOT of researching and I came to the conclusion it would be good, less stressful, easier cuz you’re doing it in the comfort of your home. A lot of friends and family on My side told me there is no way I could do a home birth. But I wanted to give it a try.

My husband and I went grocery shopping on my due date and that night I started labor-i didn’t realize it was true labor so I just went to bed. Around 5 the next morning I woke up with horrible contractions. My husband decided to stay home from work… 12 hours later I only progressed to 4cm. I was throwing up cuz of the pain. I was already tired but I was determined to have a home birth and prove the people who told me I couldn’t that I could (cuz I am very hard headed). Another 12 hours passed and I got to 7cm. I was to the point I kept feeling like pushing but I couldn’t. I was beyond exhausted. My husband kept telling me something wasn’t right (as he is the 2nd oldest out of the 13 kids)… But I kept telling him I wanted to continue. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. Well another 15 hours passed (now I’ve been in labor for 39 hours) I was still at 7cm. I wasn’t progressing. I was in a tremendous amount of pain. I was exhausted (as I hadn’t slept for the past 39 hours). I was dehydrated as I couldn’t keep anything down (I kept throwing up). I couldn’t walk. But I was still determined. I continued to labor at home for another 10 hours and by then I still hadn’t progressed I was even more tired and exhausted. And that’s when my husband said we are taking you to the hospital whether you want to or not. We drove 40 mins to the nearest hospital (my midwife had called ahead and they had a room all ready for me). We got there about 5pm (2 days after I had started labor). They decided to give me an epidural. But because my spine wasn’t aligned they had to poke me 3 times to get it in correctly. All the while I’m having contractions.

Once they got the epidural in it made the back pain even WORSE! The doctors decided to break my water (as it still hadn’t broke) and they found my son had pooped in the amniotic fluid. As soon as they saw that they pulled my husband aside and told him I was going to need a c section (during pregnancy I told my husband I did not want a c section. I wanted to do it naturally). My husband said he told the doctor that was the one thing I didn’t want and the doctor told him if they didn’t do it I might die and our baby most certainly will die. She told my husband our sons heartbeat was dropping because he has been in the birth canal way too long and he was getting stressed. They told my husband I had been in labor so long they didn’t know how much longer I would make it. So my husband came back and told me what they said and we decided to do a c section (and I only decided to do it because I wasn’t going to lose my son because I wanted to do it my way).

They got me down to the surgery room and my hsuabnd said they started asking the normal questions before a surgery ie my name, age all that. Then they asked “what are we performing on you?” And my husband said I screamed “YOU’RE GETTING THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!!” and everyone started laughing.

After they got the spinal in me and numbed me from the chest down I remember laying down and just letting out a humongous sigh of relief because there was no more pain. When my husband was finally allowed in the surgery room he came around the curtain and looked at me and said “you’re smiling. It feels like I haven’t seen your smile in so long.” ??

And after a total of 54 hours my son Gabriel was born at 11:04pm on July 14 2017. He weighed 8lbs7oz, was 21in long and he was PERFECT. He came out holding his head up. Wasn’t even crying just looking around at everyone. The first thing I said after he was born was “is he really a boy?” And my husband said “yes babe he is definitely a boy.”

My son is 2 years old now and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am still overweight but I am working to lose it. I have my c section scar and when I see it it reminds me of what a supermom I was. It reminds me of the pain I went through. The tears I cried. How scared I was. And then how happy, joyful and peaceful I was when I held my son finally. I have horrible stretchmarks on my stomach, thighs, butt, hips and boobs. But those are the marks of a woman who loves her child so much that was was willing to let her body change in order to bring her child into this world. My stretchmarks and c section scar are not ugly to me. They are beautiful and a huge reminder of all the stuff I went through to bring my perfectly wonderful son to this world.

~Your Age: 25 now (23 when my son was born)
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 2 years
~Any key words (second pregnancy, plus sized mom, cesarean, etc): plus size, cesarean