5+ Years Postpartum

40 and finally accepting (Ruth)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 1 Comment

Hi, I’m a 40 year old mother of three. My last pregnancy was my third and last Caesarean section 14 years ago. I had heavy babies, and at my heaviest (during pregnancy) I have weighed 210lbs. I now weigh 154lbs and wear a UK size 12. I have an overhang which I don’t think I’ll ever lose without surgery. I do Yoga daily and my body is very strong, but my skin is very loose! Everything else on my body escaped pretty much unscathed, except my tummy which I am still self conscious of, but less so than in my younger days.

If my pictures help any other mother to feel ‘normal’ (I mean, what’s that anyway??) then I’ll be happy. I spent too many years hating my body, despite the miracles it has performed.

Time to accept it and begin to love myself again.

We are ALL beautiful! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Homebirth, Mom over 30, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

I am 34 years old, and I have had two children. One by home birth and the other in a hospital, both vaginal delivery. Now 9 and 7 years old. Often I have felt guilty about my body. When I am in a room of other moms I often feel ashamed of “looking good”. I don’t subscribe to fad diets, or crazy gym routines. I simply live. I am a BJJ purple belt and it took me 10+ years to get there because being a mom took all of my personal time. This picture makes me feel proud because it is a beautiful piece of lingerie given to me by my husband that actually fits me! Being “small” I have a very hard time finding clothes that fit me. I submit this because I want other moms to know it’s OK to love your body without guilt, even if some women try to shame you for being who you are because they dont feel confident in themselves. We are ALL beautiful! And ps. I am offended when your husband flirts with me, its embarrassing! Stop looking at my body as the cause, It’s his loyalty that is a shame. You don’t know me, you just see my physical form. I am more then an object.

031318-anon-1

Wonder Woman is Real

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 0 Comment

Originally posted on Instagram.

011118-wonderwomanisreal-1

I know I don’t have the perfect body. This body has born three beautiful souls into this world and nothing has taken a harsher toll on my body.
I know I don’t have a perfect body I have had weight issues all of my life due to life struggles. But I never give up and everyday I struggle a little bit with food. It’s much easier now that I am vegan as I get full so much easier but it has put marks and stretches to my body that will never go away.
I know I don’t have the perfect body with a chest that seems to never stop growing larger no matter what I do, but I am learning to love my defects as a part of me. Trying to find the beauty in the flaws. Everyday I try. Most days I lose but thanks to all of you and the love you give back to me I have days that I win too. Thank you all. Love you!
…
Gotham City Garage
Wonder Woman by me (custom wig by @officialherohair and costume by @sewwhat73 )
Photo by our #cosdad @cosplayer_gallery

Breast woes and appreciation .. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

Hello, im 36 and have 2 beautiful children ? aged 12 and 7.

My first pregnancy came at a time of such a huge loss. Only months before a huge part of my life passed away and the grief was immersurable. The pregnancy brought to us such excitement. I neglected to think what i ate would forever change my body. I thought i could eat what i want and at the end the weight would drop off and all would return to normal! Yikes was i delusional. Little size 8 grew to a 16!! Im short so the weight gain caused stretch marks on my tummy, breasts and my thighs and even calves! I had dark marks all over my tummy and i was so ashamed of my naked body. I was so depressed but so in love with my bundle of joy. He brought so much love into our lives that helped with healing such a broken heart.

I got post natal drepression and PTSD and lost a lot of weight fast. My stretch marks faded to mostly indented silvery lines i went Back to a size 8 by time he was 1. My once were gorgeous perky boobs were saggy and unrecognisable. My nipples had grown so much bigger through pregnancy and not returned to the size they had been. My tummy was more like a bobbly pouch. I hated my breasts so much i tried to wrap them with long cloth so they would be pressed hard against my body so i didnt notice them as much.

5 years later i was pregnant with my second son. I didnt gain as much weight with him and loved my milky boobies that were huge! It gave me a bit more cinfidence however during breast feeding i put on a lot more weight and have yo yo’d ever since hovering between a size 8 to 12. At the moment im a large 12 but hope to get back on top of healthy eating and exercise to drop the extra weight.

I have obsessed about my boobs and dream of having breast augmentation. I’ve researched other women who have gone through with it and love their results! But because finances won’t allow it i will accept what i have for the time being ? im grateful i naturally birthed 2 beautiful boys and was able to nourish them with breast feeding. The first had BM for 5 months due to complications and the second till aged close to 2 years old.

I love being a mother! i have a love-hate relationship with my body’s appearance however mostly im grateful and in awe of what it can do! Birthing and raising children has been the biggest blessing i could ever be bestowed and im forever grateful for such a privilege ?

Huge thanks to all the mothers sharing their stories on this page. You have helped me more than you can ever imagine! It helped me normalise my mother body and accept it. Xxx

What a difference a few years can make (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Previous post here.

Age: 27

Wow. Just wow.
I was scrolling through my bookmarks and stumbled across a post I made on this site that I haven’t thought about for years – titled ‘I can’t stand to look in the mirror.’ (July 2010)
The title alone was like a slap in the face.
I actually cannot believe that the sad, lonely person who wrote that 8 years ago was ME.

How much has changed in those few short years!?

My 18 month old and newborn are now 8 and 6, I have kicked my lousy husband to the curb and am no longer suffering from depression. I got a great new job, moved cities – and am seizing LIFE at every opportunity.

Am I now 100% happy with my body? Of course not. I still dislike my hips, I still have wobbly bits – but the difference is now my focus is on fitness, and trying to better myself rather than on ‘getting my pre baby body back.’ I train about 5 times a week and eat clean (well most of the time!)

I am writing this post today, to tell every one of you GORGEOUS mumma’s out there that you CAN do it. Whatever your goal is!

Want to wear a bikini this summer? Buy one, get a spray tan and ROCK it! Want to be able to run 5k? Start with daily walks and then increase over time.

Happiness is a choice, and our children DESERVE to see their mums happy and confident!
If you are feeling like I was feeling 7 years ago, remember – things can only go UP from this point.

First photo is from my previous post – 3 months pp. unhappy, hating my body. Other 2 pics are today, much more comfortable with myself both physically and mentally.

“Mommy I Love Your Squishy Tummy” (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 1 Comment

I am 30 years old and I have two children, ages 8 and 6.

The story of how I learned to be ok with my body again after kids is a long one. Similar to many on this site. When I became a single woman with children I thought, “No one will ever love or want me because I am hideous.” What I have learned in the last two years of being single is that is a bunch of hogwash!

I stopped focusing on achieving perfection and instead began to focus on my overall health. I’m 5’7 and I went from 210 lbs with 37% body fat to 150 lbs with 24% body fat. I have maintained this weight for a year. I have fitness goals I am continuing to work towards.

My body is healthy. It isn’t perfect and it never will be. Sometimes I still struggle with knowing this, but I remind myself that there are more important things in life than having a perfect body. I remind myself to be kind and when needed I remind myself that it’s ok to cry over what I have lost. I remind myself how far I have come and ultimately I remember what my children have told me over the years:

“You’re beautiful Mommy!”

“I want to look like you when I’m older Mom.”

“Mommy, I love your tummy so much. It’s soft and squishy and ahhhh… I just love it!”

The ways their eyes light up when people tell them they look like miniature versions of me.

I see them watching me and I am proud that even in my darkest days I have never once exposed them to the emotional turmoil I felt inside. I have not talked down about my body nor have I hidden it in shame. They know we eat well because it’s good for our bodies. They know we are active because we want to be strong and healthy. And I know that they are always watching. I never want them to go through what I have gone through and so that is what motivates me to keep working towards loving myself as I am. Am I 100% there yet? No, I am not, but I am getting there.

34yo Mother of 3 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Widow 4 Comments

I became a widow 2 years ago in my early 30’s. I didn’t expect to be dating ever again…the prospect of showing your naked torso to a man who didn’t help put those stripes there is a frightening one to say the least. When the date clothes come off this is what you see…no hiding the marks of motherhood.

34 yrs old
4 pregnancies, 3 live births (2 teens and a 4th grader)

071216-anon-1

Postpartum 5 Years Later (Melissa O)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

I’m always struggling with accepting my new body. I know we should not dwell on the negative of child birth when the positive is two beautiful girls now 6 and 5. I’m 30 now but still struggling with insecurities. I would love to be this fit mom but with a full time job getting out late and then coming home to spend time with my girls before bed, I find it hard to go to the gym. Even though my husband tells me he doesn’t care what I look like, It’s hard to accept that this is how my body will look from now on, I just wish I could have the same confidence as all the amazing moms out there, I will get there eventually it’s just taking me a bit longer!

5 years PP with Diastasis Recti (Leslie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Diastasis Recti, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 0 Comment

After my first pregnancy, I was very unhappy with my body. I stopped eating healthy and my weight yo-yoed constantly. When my son was 2 years old, I found out I was pregnant again and I cried. I wasn’t ready to add another child to our mess. I was a nervous wreck. I even kept losing weight a few months into my 2nd pregnancy. It got so bad that my nurse practitioner encouraged me to start taking meds to control my anxiety. Then halfway through the pregnancy, I noticed that my navel was sticking out more than the first time around and it was tender to the touch. My OB said it was an umbilical hernia (it wasn’t) and would probably get better after I delivered the baby (it didn’t). The discomfort got worse as the pregnancy went on. When I was in labor, the contraction pain was all in my back because of the muscle damage. Two months postpartum when I got permission to exercise, I began with a workout video called Six Week Six Pack. I lost a few pounds, but my stomach looked even worse. So I exercised harder! Sadly it took a few years for me to learn about Diastasis Recti and realize how much worse I had made things. When I started seeing a physical therapist, she was appalled. For months I was not allowed to lift anything over 5 pounds and absolutely no sit-ups. I’ve been wearing a brace and doing pilates and water aerobics to try and heal the damage I did to my core muscles. It’s exhausting and frustrating, but my stomach actually looks like a stomach again! I probably won’t ever have a six pack, but my kids love my squishy belly.

~Age: 33
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 8 and 5

050316-leslie-1

Still Struggling (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 7 Comments

My beautiful daughter was born almost 7 years ago. I loved every moment of my pregnancy. I did my best to savor each moment and I loved feeling every flutter, kick, and hiccup. A few weeks before my baby girl was born, I had a visit with my midwife and she marveled at my smooth, stretch mark free belly. When I visited her the next week, I remember her saying “oh no! you have stretch marks!” I remember feeling let down…as if I had almost made it through with my tummy in tact. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the stretch marks would not end up being the source of this frustrating struggle.

It took me quite a bit of time to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and once I did, I was devastated by what I saw in the mirror. Who cares about the stretch marks? look at that saggy, wrinkled tummy! I was not prepared for the way my body had changed. Prior to this, I had prided myself on the fact that I was a woman who would NEVER consider cosmetic surgery…yet, as I looked in the mirror at this hanging skin…thoughts started to creep in about a tummy tuck. That made me feel low as well. How could I be so vain to consider something like that???

Now, all these years have passed and I am ashamed to say that when I look at my belly in the mirror…when I look at the body that grew and birthed the most precious little being…I still fantasize about the tummy tuck. I don’t care about the stretch marks. I’m even rather proud of them. The saggy, wrinkled skin that doesn’t improve no matter what I do is the source of the embarrassment and frustration I feel. I don’t want to seem petty. I don’t want to seem vain. I am just speaking my truth and it is a truth I never thought would be coming from me. I have been thinking about submitting my story to this website for YEARS and I am just now finally following through. It is my hope that I can find my confidence once again.

~Age:
39

~Number of pregnancies and births:
1

~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are:
7