I’ve been pretty devastatingly disabled for the last two and a half years, as many of you know. It’s been particularly difficult to recover because of the particular hellscape that is medical and mental health care in the United States. I’ve only recently been able to access a doctor who recognizes my ADHD and is willing to treat it – but I have to pay out of pocket to do so. In any case, whoa boy has Adderall been changing my *life*. Suddenly tasks that used to make me feel like I was drowning, feel reasonable. It’s incredible to simply be able to say “I should do laundry” and THEN I JUST DO THE LAUNDRY. What? That’s not to say I’m all better. I still struggle almost daily with depression, anxiety, long-term autistic burnout, and, yes, the ADHD as well. I feel on the upswing for the first time in two years, but I know it’s still quite a ways until I am back to my old self, and even longer before I am back to my old self AND ALSO treating and correctly accommodating for the neurodivergence I spent 41 years undiagnosed with. Undiagnosed without? That sentence was kind of a journey, and I apologize or something? haha
All that said, I have slowly been getting back to work here and in our social media spaces. I have been publishing both infoposts and Badass Bitches posts. I have been posting at Tiktok (both personal and professional stuff) and sharing some of those in reels at Instagram. And, you may notice, I’ve removed ads from this website. In truth, this was primarily because earnings have changed and it was no longer worth it to have the code all fucked up because of ads doing nothing for me, monetarily. But it’s always been a goal. I had just hoped to be more financially stable when I finally got to this place, haha I’ve also been trying to relearn how to manage the design aspect of this site, but two years of my brain being mush has apparently rotted all that I previously knew so it’s taking some time to relearn it and I apologize that things are kind of wonky for now. Wonky but functional is like my whole aesthetic.
Thanks for sticking around. I’ll soon be actively asking for submissions again. And if you happen to have sent a submission in during this time when I was not functional (but always wonky!) please be patient as I *will* get to it.
Healing from a mental health crisis without social or familial support is a long process. Thank you so much for sticking through it with me. Love to you all.