Crazy Boobs (Anonymous)

My breasts were always a bit different, one was a tiny bit bigger than the other, you’d have to be real close or touch them to feel the difference, but since I gave birth a year ago, it completely changed. I tried breastfeeding my daugther but it never really worked. I breastfed her for a week before switching to formula saving both her health and my mental health (I was a crying mess, feeling guilty and unworthy), I don’t regret this choice, breastfeeding is beautiful but not possible for all woman and it’s ok. Only my right breast (the ”biggest” one) produced milk, the other one was dry. I believe this is what gave my breast this look. I’m crying as I look at the pictures. Prior to giving birth I was a confident woman, I’ve never being thin, I’m a bit chunky and I like that, my husband also and I was felt super confortable around him. But it changed. Although he’s never said anything about my breasts I feel ashamed and so ugly. I hate them. I always wear a sport bra because it keeps them flat and the size different doesn’t show to much. I sleep with the bra on sometimes, because when my arm brush past the ”biggest” one it makes me cry. We want to have another child but it scares me that my breasts will get even more weird after an other pregnancy. I’d like to get surgery, just to reduce the size of the big one…

I’m lucky, I didn’t get stretch marks (some on my tummy but they faded real fast) and although still a bit big my belly doesn’t make me sad so much. My tits however…

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: a year

12 thoughts on “Crazy Boobs (Anonymous)

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 8:08 am

    ((hugs)) to you!

    This is INCREDIBLY common. *Most* women have some asymmetry in their breasts, and many have a difference of a cup size or more. I work as a dressmaker and sew a lot of custom clothing, corsets, etc. for clients. The issue is so common that for corset work, which must be very precisely fitted, I routinely ask women when I am measuring them if they have any asymmetry in their breasts (which might be hidden by a bra). I can expect the answer to be “yes” in at least a third of the women I work with (myself included).

    Our bodies come in an amazing range of shapes and sizes, and asymmetry is a normal part of that. You are not alone!

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 8:24 am

    Dear friend,

    When I was in my teens and twenties I had great body anxiety, even though – looking back – I was just fine. Then I had my kids and my body was no longer my own. Nine years later, my body has not regained its original shape, and – bonus! – I’ve lost all my hair to alopecia.

    What I’ve learned from all this is that there is no such thing as a normal body, and if you wait until things are perfect (physically or otherwise) to go out and start being happy, well, you’ll have a long wait. Talk with a doctor about the risks of surgery, and if it’s still for you, then go for it. But maybe ask yourself why this is such a problem: is it disabling? (No.) Does it cause other people to make hurtful comments? (I’m guessing no.) Are you afraid it will stop you from being loved? Hmm…

    I say this not to be hurtful, but in the hope that you can put this into perspective. If you live a beautiful life – love your kids, love everyone as much as possible – you are already beautiful, and physical appearance means less.

    Best wishes to you!

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 9:00 am

    i have this same issue! my left breast was always a bit bigger than my right… then i had a baby and started breastfeeding. she’s 15 months and i’m still breastfeeding, actually… but only with the left breast. my right breast barely produced, and it started stressing me out so much that i decided to just forget about that one entirely. so i’ve been doing one-sided breastfeeding since she was about 8 months old. and now the difference in size between my breasts is WAY more obvious. i am insecure about it, but i’m growing to embrace it as a uniquely beautiful part of my body. as far as i know, pretty much all women (who haven’t had implants put in) have uneven breasts. (just like pretty much everyone has one foot bigger than the other and one ear higher than the other…) :) my body grew and birthed a child. my breasts (primarily the one) has been a source of nourishment and comfort for her. (just as yours was for your baby for that week!) who’s paying attention to your lop-sided chest and criticizing… besides YOU? i’ve been really honest with my husband about my insecurities… my boobs, my saggy stomach.. (i could go on) and being open about that has helped, tremendously. he doesn’t think it’s ugly. he sees reminders of amazing things my body has done to bring his little girl into the world and care for her. if i were you, i would share your feelings with your husband. i think when we keep these things to ourselves, we let our brains turn them into shameful, embarrassing problems that interfere with our happiness when they can actually be special and lovely pieces of our stories that create a sense of pride and wonder. have another baby if you want to grow your family! do it! i’m going to… even if it means my left breast will be 4 times the size of my right after. even if it means i will continue struggling with hemorrhoids. even if it means my stomach sags more and my stretch marks get darker. life and love and family is so much more than all of those things. don’t let this consume you. you’re gorgeous. :)

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Not to alarm you, but I think you have hypoplastic / tubular breasts. Women with them can experience difficulty breastfeeding, so it’s amazing that you managed a week with your daughter. Good for you! I’m not sure what you can do; perhaps see your doctor to discuss options? Breastfeeding would not cause one to enlarge disproportionately–it is the act of pregnancy itself that causes breast enlargement. It’s pretty normal for hypoplastic breasts NOT to change during pregnancy, which may explain your smaller breast.

    However, to me the asymmetry isn’t very noticeable and as other readers have said many women have the same “problem.” (I hesitate to say “problem” because I’m not sure there is anything that qualifies as abnormal breasts; all breasts come in different shapes and sizes.)

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    I think you have tubular breasts. I also have them, and looks simimilar to yours. I still don’t know if i would be able to breast feed in the future.

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    The other Sarah is likely right about tubular breasts. I say give it a try with the next baby for the benefits of colostrum. The fact that you could give that to your daughter is pretty AMAZING!!! You should feel really proud! :) You’ll likely have to go to formula with the next baby, but the colostrum alone is often called “baby’s first immunization” because of the immunity boost it gives. Despite the fact that it wasn’t successful long-term, remember that you WERE ABLE to breastfeed! :) Never say you were unworthy or unable. You were able. You are worthy. As for your breasts, I think you should go out and get a sexy bra. I think you need to feel sexy again. Your body is beautiful. Your breasts gave your daughter a week of breastmilk. Wow! :) That’s beautiful. That’s amazing. You gave her life. Enjoy your time on this earth. Enjoy your beautiful body. :)

  • Friday, July 19, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    I am no lactation consultant, but I have heard stories of women with tubular breasts being able to breastfeed in second and further pregnancies. Sometimes the body builds more breast tissue with each pregnancy and the breasts are able to produce more milk. Not always, though, and even mamas who can’t or don’t breastfeed are still good mamas.

    I’d see a lactation consultant and see what they have to say. :)

  • Monday, July 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    I have breastfed all four of my children with only my right breast. This makes me a Perfect-C cup on the right and a Barely-A cup on the left! Talk about a size comparison :) This totally freaked me out with my first babe! But now, not so much. The thing is I am totally OK with it now.

    Yes I wear a silicone “breast” on the small side to make up for the difference (bought a mastectomy boob for cheap on ebay) when I am out in public. But at home? I love my breasts. Hubby does, too. When we are in bed, he jokes that he gets the best of both worlds (a handful on the left and jiggle on the right). We both laugh when I get 10 minutes down the road in the car and have to run home because I left my “boob” lying on the counter. And if it’s too late by the time I notice, oh well! This happened to me recently on a Sunday, I went to church in a crossover nursing dress and looked down only to see that I was without my silicone. A few years ago I would have been mortified to tears but this time I was like “nobody commented, nobody even stared” so why freak out?

    I notice it the most when I am jogging down the side of the road and I have one padded breast that does not bounce and one milky breast that does but instead of obsessing I just remind myself how lucky I am to have strong legs that run and a healthy baby to come home to.

    Before my daughter (4th baby) was born breastfeeding used to be in the same camp as potty training (meaning my least favorite aspects of parenting) because of the boob thing. But now I look down at my chubby 6 month old baby (and at my 11yr old, 8yr old, 6yr old sons) and I am just so GRATEFUL for my one breast that gives milk and my left that doesn’t because that is just how it is :)

  • Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Yes these are hypo plastic breasts or IGT. It’s not rare. But has significant impact on lactation. Besides that, you are fine, mama.

  • Friday, July 26, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Kayla – your response to this post is fantastic. Thank you bought tears to my eyes and helped me put everything into perspective x

  • Wednesday, August 28, 2013 at 7:49 am

    I have a one cup size difference between my breasts, or maybe a little more. I breastfed, but I feel like overall my breasts produced roughly the same on both sides, I know my smaller breast would start to feel “fuller” faster than my larger breast. There has always been some asymmetry, but it was as you said, you could only really tell by feeling them and comparing them. Now it’s more obvious, and bra fittings are pretty obnoxious. I can’t wear sports bras because the racerbacks put too much stress on my neck and shoulders, and in regular bras, well, of course I fit the larger breast but I’m left with quite a bit of empty space in the smaller side. I don’t bother using a silicone insert, I don’t really care, and I doubt that anyone actually notices.

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