Pregnant

1 1/2 Years PP After Twins (Fraternal Twin Mommy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

Previous entry here.

Age during delivery: 32
Current age: almost 34
Number of pregnancies: 1
Age of twins: 1 1/2

I posted a short blurb a while ago about my experience, but I didn’t really get to elaborate on my story because I’m pretty sure one of my boys needed my attention at the time! At 8w3d I found out I was pregnant with twins. I remember the U/S tech saying to me “I have something special to tell you! It’s twins!” Joy was not the first thing that came to me. The first thing I blurted out was, “Oh god. I’m definitely going to have stretch marks now!” I didn’t escape getting them, but they are very faint. I got them 1 1/2 weeks before I had my c-sec! I was up for two night worrying about them. Lame, I know. I worked out the entire time during my pregnancy and gained 25 pounds. I’m only 5’2 and started out at 104 pounds so 25 extra pounds on my frame was a lot..and my back..my poor back! Ouch. At 33 weeks I went into what they thought was pre-term labor and was sent to the hospital for over night observation. Up until then, I had no problems. I would have a contraction and Baby B’s heartrate would drop very low. This happened a couple of times and the doctors and nurses thought that he was pulling on the umbilical cord. Little prankster! :) At 37 weeks the doctors decided that I have a c-section because the placenta was wearing out. One baby was breech, so I could not have a natural birth. I’m actually fine with having a c-section. It’s what I wanted. Little did I know how painful recovery was going to be! Both my boys were born at healthy weights (for twins) at 5.13 and 4.12 and they went home with me. I’m still working on my body and have just started doing transverse abdominal exercises to flatten/tighten the lower half of my abs. I did get slight muscle seperation so getting my abs back is going to be a challenge. I don’t know why I’m just NOW (1 1/2 years later!) working on my abs. I’m still VERY self conscious about my stomach and I hate my stretch marks but I’m learning to accept them. I even threw out all my bikinis! I’d love to have a 3rd baby, but I’m scared to death as to what it put my body through. It’s been a constant struggle. I am back down to my prepregnancy weight of 104, but I’m still a work in progress…mentally.

1st pic- 1 1/2 years PP
2nd pic- 1/2 years PP
3rd pic- New Years and about 35 weeks (sorry about the face..haha I was very uncomfy!)
4th pic- Mother’s Day 2009
5th Pic- My boys at 18 months

Not Feeling so Confidant (Shaylene)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 19 Comments

I wasn’t ever the thinest person around. Im 5’2 and I was 160 lbs before I had given birth to my son. I gain 29 Lbs during the pregnancy and gained a few stretch marks which I am not bothered by. I have never been confident in the way I look. And lately i’ve been getting worse. I had my son April 17, 2009 and I thought I would be fine with my body afterwards seeing how it had been my childs life source, and it had created my son. But I just don’t feel good in my body. I am now 3 months Post. And am currentlyat 159 lbs. My fiance tells me im sexy and look the best I have ever looked, but I just don’t feel it myself. I just don’t know what to do so I feel good about myself.. Im confused. Im 19 years old and I feel I should look alot better than I do right now.

1st pic – Days before giving birth
2nd pic – 3 months pp front
3rd pic – 3 months pp side
4th pic – My lovely son Aspen :)

A body marked indelibly with love (Laurie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

I had my first child at 21 years of age. I was previously a teenager who had the constant belief that I was fat, and obsessed over my body daily. As my body grew with pregnancy (and fluid retention!) I became very despondent about my shape, worrying that I would be ‘fat’ and forever unattractive. I also came to the realisation that my pre-baby body was actually very thin and lovely. I had never had the confidence to wear a bikini before, and when pregnant, realised I could have worn one easily! So I mourned for the youthful body I didn’t appreciate, but in the back of my mind, I was sure that I would have that body back after the pregnancy. Don’t the magazines say that you do if you eat right an exercise?

Then, I got stretch marks right the way across my belly, from side to side, and an abdominal muscle separation that caused my belly button and the area surrounding it to have a caved-in appearance (post baby). After my daughter was born, I couldn’t undress in front of my husband anymore, with shame.
Then, (after I had gotten back to pre-pregnancy weight at around 1 year post-partum), I was disturbed by the amount of comments I gained from women who had never had children about my body. How I looked good ‘for someone who’d had a baby’, or how flat my tummy was (they didn’t see the boob-high support underwear I was wearing under my clothes!) etc, and I began to feel indignant about the pressure I then felt to suck my tummy in all the time, because I knew women were looking. Then I felt bad that I was perpetuating the image that women should appear ‘untouched’ by their pregnancy, and I wished for the confidence to ditch the support undies and feel comfortable in my saggy skin. I became indignant about the unrealistic image of what a woman ‘should’ be, post-baby. I have now become proud of my stretch marks, and can truthfully say that I love my body so much more now than I ever did when it was more youthful. :)

My age: 23
Number of pregnancies and births: 1, 1

The pics!
14 weeks
40 weeks
demonstrating the stretch marks and squish-a-bility, 9 months later!

2.5 Months PP, Second Cesarean in 2.5 Years (Shannon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Children with Health Complications, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

Previous posts here and here.

age:22
Pregnancies:2 pregnancies and 2 births

I wrote that I would eventually post some pictures of my PP body, so I am! I am now 3 months PP…the pictures are 2.5 months PP though! The part where my stomach hangs from my cesarean really bugs me…but it has gotten better! Liam is doing great, laughing, smiling, doing good on his tummy, breastfeeding like a champ. I see so much of Connor in him! I read him a book my Mom made me for him called “My Big Brother, My Guardian Angel”, and he loves it. I have made 2 very amazing boys, and I love them both so much!!

Pictures:
6 months pregnant with Connor
About 8 months PP with Connor
9 months pregnant with Liam
The rest are me 2.5 months PP after both boys

Updated here, here and here.

Struggling for Acceptance (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 22 Comments

I’m 24 years old and I’m a mother to a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a 10 month old son. I got pregnant when I was 21 though it really wasn’t in my plans at that time. I was not married when I found out, but my BF and I did what we thought was right and married when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I started out my pregnancy at 130 lbs. It was the most I had weighed yet in my life. I always thought I was heavier than I should be for 5’3 and since I was 12 years old I have been dieting. Never able to succeed at weight loss I found myself turning to drastic measures. I toyed with bulimia, anorexia and stimulant drugs to try and lose weight. The lowest I ever was able to get was 114. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was terrified of gaining a lot of weight. I have two older sisters that became obese after pregnancy and both have turned to Gastric Bypass now. I was terrified and I found the website www.babyfit.com. This website taught me so much about healthy and natural weight loss and weight management during pregnancy. I started to exercise faithfully for the first time in my life and watched what I ate. I exercised up until the day I gave birth and only gained 17 lbs. 2 weeks PP I was 7 lbs lighter than I had began pregnancy and by 6 months PP I weighed in at 98 lbs. I did nothing except eat healthy and breastfeed. I was on cloud nine with what I was able to achieve with my body, yet I still didn’t feel good about myself. When I got pregnant with my son my body was starving. I felt like my hunger was uncontrollable and I went on a 3 month binge at the beginning of my pregnancy. I gained 12 lbs in the first 3 months. Very depressed and struggling terribly with the weight gain there were times that I wished for a miscarriage. My bulimia came back 10 fold and I’m lucky to have birthed a healthy baby boy. Though I am back down to 104 lbs, I’m still miserable inside my body. My quest for self-confidence seems never ending and I know it’s because happiness comes from within. I don’t think it will ever matter what the scale says unless I can find a happiness within I will never be content. I’m grateful for this website. It helps me to appreciate what I have.

First Picture: 14 weeks pregnant with first child
Second Picture: 4 Weeks Pregnant with 2nd child
Third Picture: 36 weeks pregnant with 2nd child
Fourth Picture: 10.5 month PP with 2nd child

I’m not so sure I hate my body anymore (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

~Your Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Currently 15 1/2 weeks PP (photos taken at 13 weeks PP)

I have struggled with my body image ever since I was a child. I remember, when I was in primary school, sucking in my stomach during swimming lessons so that it would be flatter than the other girls’ tummies (it’s a habit I have had ever since). In high school I developed severely disordered eating, accompanied by anxiety and depression, and battled my body and weight for a very long time.

5 years ago I met and then married an amazing man who thinks I am beautiful and tells me so often. I loved being pregnant – I was healthy, happy and have never felt so beautiful in my life! My stomach, long despised, was my pride and joy. I was pregnant in summer and would walk to the pool in my bikini.

I put on 15 kg (33lb) while I was pregnant. It was 38 weeks before I saw a stretch mark and when I found my first one (I got 4 or 5) I cried and cried. And then I realised – millions of women around the world have nowhere safe to give birth, no doctors or midwives or antenatal care, how dare I act like this is the end of the world??!!! I was horrified at my vanity. My husband thinks they’re cool. He says they make me look like a pirate. I’m not so sure but they’re growing on me.

Labour was surprising, quick and hard. My son was born naturally just over 4 hours after my waters broke, 3 days before his due date. I’ve been told I was ‘lucky’ but going from the odd prelabour Braxton-Hicks to full, active labour in minutes left me feeling like I had been hit by a truck, both during my labour and for weeks afterwards. I quietly envy my friends’ stories of relaxing in the bath between their contractions!

Postpartum, I had expected to look pregnant for months after delivery, but what my hungry little boy hasn’t sucked out I unfortunately seem to have lost in a distressing haze of postnatal anxiety. It’s nice to fit into my old clothes but I would rather be fatter and happier. My body’s landscape is completely different now– where once there was muscle and firmness there just seems to be softness all over the place. I jiggle when I wiggle. My butt, which I used to like, now just kind of sags and squishes around in my pants. My problem skin flared during pregnancy and again now as I’m breastfeeding. My poor breasts have succumbed to mastitis four times.

But in the end, when I stop for a moment to silence the negative voices, I am kind of in awe of my body. It grew and protected my baby for 9 months. It was strong enough to withstand the full force of labour without a single drug or stitch. It has fed and sustained my son entirely for nearly four months now. I look at my body and then across at my sleeping child – the most beautiful I have ever beheld – and realise that my body is amazing and I can’t wait to do it all again.

Updated here.

My Changing Body (Heather)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

This is my first pregnancy, first child. I am 21 years old.

Before I became pregnant I wasn’t exactly stick thin but I was very comfortable with myself and my body. I weighed 135lbs on a 5′ 5” frame. I didn’t start to show until my fifth month. My then boyfriend and now husband and I were living together when I became pregnant. Our son wasn’t planned but we got married when I was six months pregnant.

For the most part my pregnancy was fairly normal until around 32 weeks when my doctor told me I needed to gain about ten pounds by the end of my pregnancy. I was working and going to school full time and I suppose was too stressed and active to be keeping gaining enough. At 36 weeks my doctor put me on disability and I ended up with total weight gain of 37 pounds

After delivering my son a week early at a healthy 8lbs I started breastfeeding. I lost 30lbs within the first 3 weeks and was excited. Then after two bouts of painful breast infections I choose to give up nursing. Now I have gained 10 pounds back all ready.

I am six weeks postpartum. My breasts are two different sizes and I have deep red stretch marks and a floppy belly. Being a mother is beautiful but I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin for now. I have hope though and maybe I don’t need to have the same body that I did before. These pictures are ranging from 30 weeks to 6 weeks postpartum.

Fighting the Fear (Jessica)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 27 Comments

21
2 pregnancies, 1 birth
5 wks post partum

I found out I was pregnant when I was twenty years old, a week before my husband was set to deploy for iraq. I was pretty upset that he was going to be gone, and I would be alone. But i was partially pleased because he wouldn’t be here to see me get huge and, what i thought, unattractive. I’ve always been incredibly self conscious, never really felt I was attractive, so I was terrified what pregnancy would do to me. At first I felt gross. If you knew, you could tell i was pregnant, but to everyone else it just looked like I had a beer gut. I finally got the stage where I looked pretty darn pregnant. And I LOVED it. I felt SO beautiful. I was stretch mark free until thirty three weeks, &&than they came in droves. Still, I felt beautiful. My taut belly stretched tight over my little girl. I was constantly rubbing my tummy. My husband came back from Iraq in april, a month before the little girl was due. I was terrified of how he would see me. But I still felt beautiful. I loved walking around with my tummy out.
The last week of my pregnancy, I blew up like a balloon. I started retaining water, and my hips and thighs got stretch marks overnight. After my princess was born, i instantly felt… deflated, and jiggly. I had terrible tearing and couldn’t do anything physical for nearly a month. Today I am five weeks and three days.

I’ve got fifteen pounds of baby weight to lose. I don’t own a single pair of pants that fits. I was a size seven before the baby, and now, I’m borrowing my sisters size 12’s which are sometimes too tight.

I found out my husband cheated on me the day my daughter turned three weeks. It devastated me. I already felt terrible enough about the way I looked…. it just seemed to confirm the fact that the mess my body is now is really that disgusting. I have a hot mess of stretch marks, which I’m not terribly bothered by, I’m fair, and they’ll turn white soon enough. I just hate my body, and i don’t know if it will ever be even CLOSE to what it was before, which wasn’t all that much

The first picture is me before pregnancy.
The second is me 33wks pregnant. I felt the most beautiful there
The third is me &&my baby girl… SO worth it
The fourth is me 5 wks post partum. ugh
The fifth is a close up, stretch mark cental
The sixth is my big side

2nd Baby, 8 Wks Postpartum (Kristin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 4 Comments

Previous entry here.

Hello my name is Kristin, and i am 21 years old. I got married when i was 19, and my hubby was 23 in nov.2006. We got pregnant in March 2007 n lost the baby, which was very hard. We got pregnant again by the end of April. I started out at around 115lbs, but went down to about 100lbs because of morning sickness. By the time i went into labour i was at 140lbs. I gave birth to my baby boy Timothy on Jan 30,2008. He weighed 8lbs 11ozs. We found out we were pregnant again when Timothy was just about 7months old. This time i started out weighing only 105lbs, but went down to 99lbs because of morning sickness. I again went up to 140lbs by the time i went into labour. I gave birth to my baby girl, Eden on April 26,2009. She weighed 7lbs 15ozs. Now i am weighing at 120lbs. Which i guess is ok but i do want to be more around 100-110lbs. I am 5f5 so i guess 120 is ok but i am really wanting lower. I dont like my body, i get really depressed about it, my hubby tells me i am sexy and beautiful but i just dont belive him. My hips are too big and my belly sticks out with stretch marks and loose skin. Tho i love my family more then life itself and i would NEVER trade my family for my old body but i do miss it. My family means the world to me and i always wanted children and now i got two n they are my everything. My body is not perfect, damn probly far from it but i am a mommy with two great n healhty kids with a loving husband. I wouldnt want it any other way. Tho i do wish i could convince myself that i am beautiful like my hubby says but right now i dont see it. Anyways thanks for this site, it has really help me. All you ladies are beautiful inside and out :) Oh and my son is now 17months old and my daughter is 2months old. Thanks for reading!

1,2:The first two photos is me now, 2months postpartum
3rd pic: is my baby girl Eden at 2months
4th pic: my baby boy Timothy at 17 months.
5 pic: is me 39wks pregnant with Timothy(brown top, green pants)
6 pic: 40wks pregnant with Eden

Updated here, here and here.

Teen Learning to Love Her Body (Faith)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 82 Comments

I was 14 years old and dateing this 16 year old guy. we were going out for about 2 months, and he invited me over to his house while his parents where away. i was kinda sketchy about it, but i trusted him, so i decited to go to his house. while we where in his basement, he asked if i wanted to have sex. I told him that i’m not ready yet, and he just kept on asking me. he promised he would use a condom. he finaly got me to, and he got ontop of me. after about a minute, it didnt feel right. i could then tell he wasnt wearing one. i tried pushing him off of me, but then he started to get aggressive and held me down. i told him to get off of me, and he said that if i didnt let him finish, he would tell my dad i was sneaking out with him and doing drugs (which i smoked pot once before that. and i DID end up getting caught anyway.) so i was in shock, and about 10 minutes later, he got off me. i was disgusted, and just left. i called him up the next day and told him im breaking up with him. i was afraid to tell anyone of what had happened.
a month past, and my period was late. i started getting morning sickness. i was going out with another boy when i found out i was pregnant. he was the first person i told, and he said that if i didnt get an abortion, he would break up with me because he didnt want to be embarassed by having a “fat” girlfriend. he was my only friend at the time. my dad never spent time with me, and my mom had passed away about 3 years before that. my brother was moved out of the house, and i was a lone.
the day after halloween, i sat my dad down and told him i was pregnant. he went out and got a test, and i took it it came up “pregnant”. at that point, reality hit me. i was going to have a baby. i was going to have an abortion. i thought i would do it before i started to show. that night, i realized im resposible for 2 people now. i fell in love with the baby.
i told my boyfriend im leaving him before he left me, and i was going to give birth to this child. so he was gone. a long time friend came around, and we started talking a lot. his name was dustin. i finaly told him about 2 weeks later that i was pregnant. he was in shock. i had told him what happened, and he was there for me. (and now were dating (: )
i decited i needed to give my baby up for adoption. i wanted to keep him, but i wanted him to have a dad and a mom that will be there all the time for him. me and my dad found a couple through an agency. loriston and lisa where their names, and they were the perfect couple i have ever seen. we met up with them. they were so nice. i chose them.
i went into the 20 week ultrasound, and guess what? ITS A BOY!!. i was so excited. the family was also excited.
on june 18th at 7:11 i gave birth to a healthy 9lb 10 oz baby. we named him Torren Dwane Reed.
this is me at 40 weeks 3 days (a day before being induced. june 17th, 2009) :

071409-faith-1

this is me now at 15 years old (1 week 1 day post pardum):

071409-faith-2

the mom gave me a teddy bear from build-a-bear workshop that if you squeeze his chest, you can feel a pulse of a heart. they also gave one to Torren.
i love the adoptive family.

Updated here.