First entry here.
In a parallel universe, I am just weeks away from the birth of my second child. I am more confident about the impending labour than the first time around, but a bit nervous too. I am even more nervous about managing life with two kids under two! I am unpacking, washing and folding the baby clothes, setting up the bassinet. Buying breast pads. Feeling uncomfortable and tired, but loving watching my stretched belly squirm and writhe as I imagine where those little feet lodged under my ribs will one day run.
In this universe, my belly harbours no mystery. It is full of nothing more exciting than my lunch. My breasts are empty, although I wear a nursing bra from which I feel obligated to get my money’s worth, despite my son weaning himself four months ago. The only evidence that things could be different is a yellow card in a drawer with my medical records, the last entry reading “11 weeks amenorrhea. PV bleeding. USS 4/5/10 – IU pregnancy no FHR. CRL only 4.9mm and gest sac 15.6. P/V – Cx closed. Bleeding minimum. Adv: Conservative management.”
And these photos, taken weekly from when my doctor confirmed my pregnancy, to the day before I started bleeding and we found out that for more than a month, there had been no baby anymore.
I am a mother of two. I just only have one to show for it.