Mom over 30

Motherhood is Empowering (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 6 Comments

I am 40 years old in this photo. After 7 pregnancies, I am blessed to be the mother of an 11-year-old, an 8-year-old and a 6-year-old. Being a mother has taught me to take ownership of my life and my place in this world, and to be the best woman I can be in every way. I work hard to stay fit and healthy, yet I have stretch marks and extra skin like any other mother, and I embrace it all because I know that my daughters take their cues from me and will see themselves accordingly. I strive to inspire them the way they inspire me!

Learning to work at my body and love how I got here. Wanting to give hope to other mommies out there. (Kelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I am a 31 year old mother of 2 little girls ages 5 and 2. Before I had my first daughter I weighed about 135lbs and I am 5’9″, I was athletic and in great shape…..with my first daughter at the time I thought I looked horrible and worked very hard to get back to my pre baby weight. When I delivered her I was 212 lbs I did it in about 9 months and was pretty close to looking like I never had a baby :) When we decided to have our second daughter, I had been through a lot emotionally and was about 145lbs, still healthy for someone my height (I have a small slender frame even though I am tall, I wore a size 2 my senior year of high school) my second pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and was so lethargic and tired all the time from it that I was not able this time to work out during my pregnancy……the day I delivered her I weighed in at 245 lbs! I had a 3 1/2 finger ab separation and had undergone a c section…..I have been doing light workouts from the time the doc gave the ok, focusing on training my core muscles back together, until about a year post partum…..I upped my workouts a little more but since I still had about a 2 finger ab separation I was limited to certain workouts otherwise I may have done forever damage to my abdominal wall. About 6 months ago I increased my workouts to 6 days a week which included about 30 minutes cardio and an hour of various weight training…..I am currently about 170lbs and hoping to lose another 25lbs in the next 6 months…..my main concern is the wrinkled skin and extra fat on my abdomen which with the help of Argan oil treatments and tons of ab workouts seems to be diminishing little by little everyday and I also have 0 ab separation at this time and my core is stronger than ever (so for those of you out there with the same problem, I am living proof that an ab separation does NOT always mean surgery) I have attached a pic of my tummy from about a month ago, I don’t have and did not take pics of before 6 months ago because I was sad and ashamed so I don’t have a comparison for the look of it now but trust when I say it looked like a deflated balloon and hung a little over my panties…….I will try to update on my progress if I can over the next few months but I do believe with hard work and discipline I will look again like I did before my babies came along……:) Oh and I have completely changed my diet, I am not on a diet, but I eat very healthy and drink tons of water…..without this I don’t think that I would have made the progress I have made so far…..I have read about other mothers who have stuck to the old fashioned patience and working out and they have had the success I am looking for, so keep plugging along and love yourself for the beautiful miricle you have brought into this world……

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 3 Comments

I am a (almost) 50 year old woman. I have had 6 pregnancies, resulting in 4 live births and 2 very late (mid second trimester) miscarriages. My “babies” are now aged from 19 up to 25.

When I started having my children in the mid-80s I was considered to be slightly overweight (5-9 and 165lbs), after I had my first daughter (1986) I was 5’9 and (185) – try as I might I never lost that weight and was made to feel such a failure because of it. Forget that I was successfully breastfeeding this gorgeous little creature that I had successfully made and given birth to, all that was concentrated on was “getting back to normal” with absolutely no regard that – for me – “normal” would have to be redefined as I was now a mother and had done something amazing.

Let’s fastforward some 7 years and 3 more children (and 1 of those miscarriages) later and I gained another 5lbs with each of the pregnancies. EVERYBODY and I mean everybody was soooo concerned with how I looked – my own Mother was constantly nagging at me to “get back into shape” (forgetting the fact that she NEVER had!). I began to consider myself totally worthless.

I felt an absolute failure, all of my friends seemed to be able to do it and I couldn’t. I guess that started the terrible relationship with food that I have to this day. 20 years down the line and 1 Gastric by-pass later, I’m once again 165 and now I look at myself in the mirror and think “Ok, so not so good naked but GREAT clothed!” lol.

I really think that had I realised 25 years ago that it doesn’t all “go back to ‘normal'” and that I should redefine normal I’d have felt far less pressured.

I think younger women should realise that this is something that has been happening for generations – It’s great that women are becoming more open with each other.

With today’s scattered families, frequently we can’t ask our parents (I live in a different country from my parents) so we have to learn from other women.

Postpartum Depression or Hypothyroidism? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions, Thyroid Issues 4 Comments

~Age: 32
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 18 months

Hi,

It’s been 18 months since I gave birth. It was a wonderful experience. I was surrounded by family, love, and affection after I came home with my dear daughter. My husband was supportive and woke up during the night every two hours to help me feed the baby. My daughter was healthy and thriving. But something was not right with me….

After the endorphins from a drug-free labor wore off and the joy of sharing the new baby with family waned, I started to feel exhausted – really really really exhausted. It felt like a chore to wake up and get out of bed and take care of my daughter. I felt guilty for not being ecstatic over the fact that I get to stay at home and raise my daughter. I felt guilty that I couldn’t enjoy every single smile and coo and aah that my daughter made. I felt isolated and depressed and angry. My energy levels were so low that I was literally dragging my feet….I felt as if I was walking through Jell-O. All I wanted to do was sleep….I was so numb, emotionally, and intellectually.

During my 6-week post-partum appointment, my OB/GYN diagnosed me with depression and encouraged me to go on antidepressants. Because I was breastfeeding and due to side effects related with some antidepressants, I was reluctant to take the antidepressants. I am a scientist by profession, so I did research on post-partum depression and anti-depressants and their side effects. While reading scientific articles, I came across one that linked post-partum depression to low thyroid function (hypothyroidism). I remembered that a blood test done in my last trimester had shown my thyroid function to be low, but it hadn’t raised any major red flags. So, before I agreed to go on antidepressants, I asked my doctor to do a blood test and check my thyroid function. I had other symptoms of hypothyroidism (constipation, dry skin, loss of appetite, gaining weight, joint and muscle aches and pains, bald patch on my scalp, carpal tunnel in my left hand, and sensitivity to cold). The blood test showed my thyroid function to be low (normal levels of TSH are 1-2 and mine were 4-5). The diagnosis was post-partum thyroiditis and post-partum depression was a symptom of the underlying hypothyroidism. I was prescribed a low dose synthetic thyroid hormone (which is safe for breastfeeding and pregnant women) that I have to take every day for the rest of my life.

I have routine blood tests every few months to check my thyroid function and make sure my hormone dosage is correct. Since I began the hormone replacement therapy, almost a year and a half ago, all of my physical symptoms have disappeared. I no longer have unexplained joint and muscle pain; I feel emotionally balanced; my brain fog has lifted; my hair, nails and skin are healthy; and I have lost all of my pregnancy weight. Most importantly, I feel that I have all the energy to chase around a toddler, exercise, clean the house, do the laundry, cook dinner, and be a loving companion to my husband.

Very often, we get confused by medical terms and take the doctors’ advice as the ultimate word. I want to share my experience so that women who read my story can be empowered to ask questions and become partners in their own health. You know your body and self better than anyone – take an active role in your well-being. For me, researching family history and seeking a second opinion from an endocrinologist specializing in thyroid function has been an immense learning experience. I believe that being an advocate of my own health and partnering with my doctor to delve deeper than the superficial symptoms has helped me achieve my life back. I hope I can help others who might have similar symptoms and experience after giving birth.

Mommy of 4 Boys (Carollee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Endometriosis, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Hi, My name is Carollee and I’m from Cleveland, OH. I was 19, 5’4′ and weighed about 130lbs when I got pregnant with my oldest son, Anthony. I gained the least amount of weight with him (about 50lbs) and delivered a happy healthy boy in Jan 2001. I had a typical what you read about delivery. 12 hour labor, Epidural at 4cm, but I only pushed once! He weighed 7lbs 2 oz and was 21 inches long. Complete Perfection!

A year later I was down to 115lbs. After suffering through a Miscarriage in Jan 2002, I got pregnant with my 2nd son in March. I carried differently, but I got huge and delivered him in Dec 2002 at 41 weeks weighing in at 190lbs. He was my biggest baby. He weighed 8lbs. My labor was a total of 3 hours from the first time I had a contraction until he was here. I did not have time for an Epidural but they did give me nerve block to help with the pain, which it did not! That was the hardest labor for me and I almost didn’t want more kids after him because of it. The nurses came sneaking into my room the next morning. I guess I turned into a devil women and was very nasty to everyone in my room. They were happy to see I was really a nice person, lol!

During the next year I had some problems with my girlie parts. I was diagnosed with a condition called Adenomyosis. It’s similar to Endometriosis, but slightly different. I was told if I planned on more kids I needed to do it now because I would most likely need a full Hysterectomy within the next few years. We decided to go ahead and have one more. I had lost a ton of weight after I had my 2nd son and when I finally got pregnant with my 3rd son in Nov/2005 I only weighed 103lbs. When I delivered him in July I was topping the scales at almost 200lbs. I was all belly!!! I am surprised I did not topple over I was so big!! I had another very fast delivery with him. It was 4 hours from my first contraction and I didn’t have to push at all. I was able to get an epidural so my labor with him was painless and I was not the evil devil women I was before!! He was a healthy 8lb 2 oz bundle of joy.

I only stayed non pregnant for 9 months. A family vacation to Niagara Falls sent us home with an extra surprise. I was 125lbs when I got pregnant with my last little guy. I gained a ton of weight again and delivered him on January 9th weighing in at 199lbs. I had to be induced because I was 41 weeks and because of how fast my deliveries went. When they induced me they gave me an epidural right after. They had checked me after the epidural and I was 3 cm. The nurse walked around my bed to put my info in my chart and I told her I could feel him crowning. She said it was impossible. My water broke and she reached over and his head was right there! I was still in a Triage room. there was no heating bed, Doctor, anything. She called the nurses station while holding his head inside me with 2 fingers. My Dr was just getting there. She ran around the bed just in time to see Killian plop onto the bed! I had not been in the hospital for 2 hours total and he was here. He weighed 7lbs 8oz and was another perfect little boy.

My body has been on a roller coaster of weights. My stomach has been stretched out, my chest has been everywhere from a “C” cup pre-pregnancy to a “DD” after birth to settle down to completely deflated “A” cups. I always had a problem nursing because my chest would literally just deflate and I would have very little milk production. I have stretch marks, but they are proof that I carried these 4 boys inside me. They remind me of the little kicks, back flips, and jabs to the ribs.

Pictures:
1~ Me Pre Kids
2~ 7 Months prego with my oldest
3~My Oldest, Anthony
4~ 5 months prego with my 2nd
5~ My 2nd Boy, Garrett
6~ After my 2nd
7~ 39 weeks prego with my 3rd
8~ My 3rd baby boy, Dalton
9~ 38 weeks prego with my 4th
10~ My baby boy, Killian
11~ My Boys, Worth every every Stretch mark :)
12~ Me Today 4-24-2012

~Age: 31
~Number of pregnancies and births: 5 Pregnancies; 4 Births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: My boys are 11, 9, 5 & 4

13 Years and Still Have Body Issues (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 4 Comments

I am 39 going to 40 in 3 weeks. I have been pregnant 5 times and have 3 wonderful children, son 18, daughter 14, and daughter 13. I was in the Army for 8 years. (I got out when pregnant with my 3rd child). I joined the army at 18. I was 22 when my son was born. I weighed 140 lbs before I had him and 130 after. At 26, after my first daughter was born I didn’t loose the weight like I had before. Then I got pregnant again and knew that things would never be the same. I loved being a mom and wanted to be a better mother so I chose to leave the military when I was 3 months along with baby #3. I often wonder if I had stayed in would I have been able to loose the weight. I currently weigh 200 lbs. I struggle with my body and think I should look better. I know how to exercise and what I should eat, I read all sorts of books and try this program or that one. I tell myself it is genetic, all the women on my dad’s side are large. I think what message I want my teenage girls to see. I pretend that I am ok with how I look but deep down I know I am lying. I wish I had appreciated the way I use to look and get mad at myself for feeling that way. I do not want to say it is a daily struggle but I is often in my thoughts. Sometimes I think I must just be to lazy. Other times I think that life just got in the way and other times I just don’t care.

I look at the few picture that I have of myself and think how slowly my weight went up. I didn’t even really notice until I was in a size 18. I see myself 20 years ago and think that was a size 9, 15 years ago and that was size 6, 10 years ago size 14, 5 years ago size 16. I keep thinking that I heard once we are suppose to worry less about appearance the older we get and I wonder what age that is because I haven’t reached it yet!

It is not about stretch marks for me it is about the numbers. I weigh 200 pounds! If I had trainers and personal chefs and a driver to take my kids around like the stars do maybe I would be able to get that number down but right now I am in the real world. I have kids to drive around, cooking to try and fit in, work and house work and all the other things that go with life.

Maybe one day I will feel differently. I think this web site is a first step.

Three Years Later (Christina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

Age-31years
Number of Pregnancies/Births-2
Children Aged 5 and 3..sooo postpartum 3years.

So, I came across this website sometime in the last three years. I have glanced at it over time and read some of the submissions. I have hated my body, been disgusted, even resented my children at times for causing my body such changes. Before I had children I was in incredible shape, I was going to start working towards figure/bodybuilding competition. I informed my husband that I couldn’t do both, compete and have kids, at least not at the same time. I explained to him what such extreme training can do to your period and your cycle. So we chose to start our family. I was roughly about 150lbs pre-pregnancy the first time. I gained 50lbs with him, I was just over 200lbs by the time I went into labor.
There were two years in between my children, and I can honestly say that I didn’t make enough effort to loose the extra weight. I didn’t think there was much point since I was going to be getting pregnant again. So I became pregnant with baby #2 and weighed somewhere around the high 150’s. Again I gained 50lbs. Not to sure how this happened since I was more aware of my food choices, chasing a toddler and working a full-time physically demanding job! At time of delivery I was around 210lbs.

Three years later I have hovered between 186 (my highest) and 168lbs. I have even stopped taking hormonal birth control and have chosen to use a fertility awareness method, tracking body temperature and such. I am currently having my thryoid checked on a regular basis, since it seems to be just low enough to register, but not enough to really deal with it yet, so my doctor tells me. It has taken me three years to work up the courage to post to this website. While I have still chosen to give another name (my own, but not my common one), it would seem I’m not completely comfortable, but maybe this website and my story and pictures will help me to accept my own tiger stripes. Maybe someone else can relate to me.

On a side note I have recently kicked my exercise habits into high gear with some intense tabata training, bootcamps, cardio and heavy weights, so we’ll see what the next few months brings. But I think this came with a new awareness, understanding and acceptance of my body as it was! My battle scars!

Mother to 10! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Legs, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age:38
4 birth children, 5 adopted children, ages 17-11.
pregnancy number 5, 7.5 months!

As a teenager, I remember distinctly saying I would never ever have children. I still sometimes wake up and wonder what exactly happened? My mission for my adult life has been to be a child advocate and take in children who were in foster care like I was as a kid. I would not change a thing. However, being pregnant at 38 is much different from 19, I have found out. Not that it was super easy at a younger age, I just have enjoyed being a “younger” mom and sometimes being mistaken for my older daughter’s sister rather than mom. I wonder how my tenth child will feel when I am showing up to his high school games looking like a little granny, well I probably will be a granny and have some grandkids in tow more than likely. Not that I really care, I will yell till my dentures hurt probably.

I was very intrigued coming across your site, as I have been reading in my “free” time about the recent onslaught of media and celebrity pregnancies, browsing through sites and looking at airbrushed photos of the “stars” on covers of recent mags bearing all in their pregnancies. No one really can get away from looking like humpty dumpty I have decided, and I say that in a good way. I almost decorated my stomach as an Easter egg this past holiday but did not have enough energy. Every pregnancy I have been anemic, a little challenge with a brood at home.

With 4 teenage daughters my hope for them is to be able to love their bodies, through their lifetimes as they change from girls to women. A VERY difficult thing to do in today’s society of plastic. I applaud every woman who has taken the moment to share her story, her tribulations and excitement on her gift of life. I have my own worries as becoming a mother to 10 children and raising my new son, I would love to be free of blue veins, ( I have had a botched vein removal, and hemorrhoid surgery- owie!!!) and to have my breasts back to the size they were in high school. No one told me that breastfeeding would cause my breasts to get smaller, lol. And after 4 children treating me as a cow, it saddens me that I have been the smallest cup size in the house, going from a C cup to an AA cup. After this 5th bout of breastfeeding I think I will just have 2 nipples probably. That is a downside of what happens but I am okay with it, and excited to be able to experience the intimate time of breastfeeding again with my soon to be born child.

To be pregnant is one of the most amazing wonders of the world, to feel like your body is overcome by some alien being who you love and dream about before you meet their tiny eyes. To sacrifice your vanity to bring a blessing into the world. Nothing comes close in my opinion. All that said I will be a little insecure when summer comes and finding a swimsuit. I love the sun, summer and water. I remind myself no matter what I am thoroughly blessed to have my children, a wonderful committed partner who will be an amazing father to this little one, and jeans in the back of the closet will fit again someday. I will just have to have patience on when that someday actually turns out to be.

Keep your heads up and your hearts open… beautiful women we all are, all shapes and sizes, changed bodies and all!

“A mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside… when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone“ By Author Unknown

Will I ever learn to love my body? (Jen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

32 years old, 3 pregnancies, 2 children, 6 and 4 years old, separated last year

I am trying to learn to love my body again. I am mostly still embarrassed by it and feel disgust when I look in the mirror. I am proud of the fact that I have lost almost 70lbs over a year ago and have kept the weight off. I did that with the help of a personal trainer. Although most days I still feel like I’m overweight.

I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend now who tells me I look perfect and that he wouldn’t change anything about me. I just wonder everyday if I will ever get over these in securities that are constantly in my mind.
Reading other womens stories here has really helped me feel like at least I’m not alone in this!

Trying Really Hard But Losing Hope (Sophya)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Toxemia 11 Comments

Age: 33

Number of pregnancies/birth: 2

Age of children: 6-year-old daughter and 7 months-old son, 7 months post-partum

I’ve been visiting SOAM for the last four years since I had my daughter and I wish to thank warmly all those wonderful women who’ve had the courage to post their stories and voice out their fears. You have all been truly inspirational and sometimes, reading these stories was the ONLY thing that kept me from plunging into despair after I had my baby girl. I have always been overweight (I had to be fed low-fat milk as a baby so as not to put on too much weight), and the “thinnest” I have been in my adult life was 64 kg, which I managed to reach before my wedding in 2003 by following a horrible diet and abusing a bit on laxatives. I had my baby girl in 2006 and put on 27 kg during the pregnancy and was absolutely devastated at the state of my body after that. Over the next four years, I managed to lose 25 kg through on-and-off diets and religious exercise. I was very scared to have another baby for fear of what it would do to my body and my health again, which was fine because by that time, my marriage had somewhat broken apart and my husband and I were not having sex. Then, after a wonderful holiday in December 2010, things got patched up and we decided that having another baby would not be a bad idea, and I quickly fell pregnant in January 2011. But I had a very difficult pregnancy…I started bloating at 2 months, was anaemic throughout the pregnancy, my husband had to travel when I was 4 months along and we got robbed while my daughter and I were alone in the house, I lost all my wedding jewellery and a lot of money, had serious car problems…all that stress made my blood pressure soar and I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and had to undergo and emergency c-section at 33 weeks because my placenta had started tearing apart from the high blood pressure. After the operation, my BP still wouldn’t go down and I had to be put in ICU for 48 hrs. I felt like hell after the op. But my baby boy was in the incubator and I had to go to the clinic to try and breastfeed him everyday. After I finally came home, I had to learn caring for a premature baby (plus dealing with my 5 year old) and had no time or energy to care for myself. I started dieting and exercising about 3-4 months pp and managed to lose 9 kg in 3 months (I put on about 15 kg with this pregnancy), again by following a hell of a protein-only diet and forcing as much exercise on me as I could possibly handle. Despite all these efforts, I still feel heavy, bloated, and look like I’m still 5 months pregnant. My gynae says that my body went through major trauma during the op, my tissues are all mushy inside, my uterus is badly ruined (he’s been practically screaming at me NOT to have any other babies), so that’s why I will take more time to recover than if I had a normal delivery. I’m now running out of strength when I see that fat, massive 5-months-preggo-looking belly of mine. I don’t care about looking good again or about the stretch marks (I know I’ll forever have the pouch…it doesn’t bother me because my marriage is on the rocks again and I don’t think my hubby and I will ever have sex again, so there’s nobody to see me naked again), I just want to STOP feeling so huge. I know I have to be strong for my children, but after all these efforts, still having this massive weight to carry around is starting to bring me down. I am now 7 months PP and I’m starting to think I’ll never be my ‘normal’ self again.

The pics are me 7 mo PP and my daughter (she just turned 6) and son.