Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Wrecked (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Children with Health Complications, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 19 Comments

Hello

I have enjoyed and found support in reading many of these entries for quite some time and finally felt like I should share my story.

I have two beautiful children, a son who is now 5 and a 17 month old baby girl.
With my first pregnancy it was quite a shock. I was 24 and had only been married 4 months. I was on the pill when I got pregnant and was shocked and upset when I found out. I did not feel ready in any way. We were newly married, I was finishing school, we hasn’t even gone on a honeymoon yet! I cried for weeks. Finally I was beginning to accept it when we found out something was wrong-he had a condition called gastrochesis, a rare condition where the abdomen doesn’t close so all his intestines, stomach etc were outside his body. Anyways to make a long story short it was a rough pregnancy and a very rough beginning to life and parenthood. He was in the hospital for months, surgeries etc.

Body wise though, I didn’t gain much weight, did not get stretch marks and bounced back immediately. Due to stress I lost additional weigh and was skinnier then ever.

When I got pregnant with my daughter it was a different experience. We were trying to conceive this time and the pregnancy went smoothly. I gained a ton of weight-got close to 200 pounds at delivery and she was 8.14, a big healthy baby! I got stretch marks on my breasts and a few on my hips. I still have at least 10-15 pounds that won’t come off. I hate my love handles. I love my kids more then anything but it depresses me to look in the mirror and I don’t see my flat toned stomach or perky boobs anymore. Then the other day at work I ran into the seamstress who did alterations on my wedding dress. She said ” wow kids sure wrecked your body. You used to be so skinny!” I cried all night over that comment, I’ve never felt so hurt.

I want to feel sexy and beautiful again, sometimes I still do, but I guess it’s going to take time to accept myself.

-anonymous, aged 31

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Toned After Twins (Lindsay)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 5 Comments

I am a 27 year old mom of beautiful twin girls! my pregnancy was a very difficult one- spending the majority of it on bed rest and in the hospital. My girls were born too early and spent 2 months in the NICU. Once they arrived home, I could never find the time or energy to get to the gym. I started working out from home when I could and lost all of the twin baby weight in the privacy of my own bedroom! I do have slight stretch marks, and I don’t quite look how I did before, but I am happy with the progress I have made and feel good about myself as a mother of twins! I have now created a blog to help others stay motivated to reach their own health and fitness goals, to provide a fun and supportive community, and to share healthy recipes for families! But most importantly, I am a proud stay at home mom to my happy and healthy girls and am LOVING every minute of it!

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: one pregnancy, twin birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: First photo was taken hours before walking into my c-section, second photos were taken one year postpartum!

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My Story (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 36 Comments

Hi, I’m Marie. I have a 5 year old daughter. I’m a single mom since my husband left me, and I’ve been single and celibate for 5 years now. I would love to remarry and have a companion, a lover, and a father-figure for my daughter. But I am so insecure and ashamed of my post-pregnancy body that I refuse to get close to any guy, refuse to be seen naked, heaven forbid try to have sex. I know I should be more mature than this, and less shallow when it comes to physical beauty, but for 5 years I’ve been ashamed of my body and I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling ugly and unworthy because of it.

I got countless stretch marks during pregnancy. My belly is covered from belly button all the way down to where pubic hair starts. My hips and thighs and upper buttocks are covered in stretch marks, too. My breasts as well, covered, and even the backs of my calves. The deepest ones are on my belly and breasts. If I stand far away in good lighting you can’t see them, because they’ve faded mostly white, and my skin is fair. But They are still deep, and countless. I also have some looseness of skin on my belly and my breast’s skin is not as taut as it was before pregnancy. My breasts themselves also became lower and “empty” feeling immediately following pregnancy/end of breast feeding. So I feel like my breasts are pretty saggy for my age and the fact that I’ve only had one child.
I didn’t know what to expect with pregnancy. Nobody told me about stretch marks or loose skin or abdominal muscles tearing, etc, etc. I didn’t know about vitamin E oil and that it can/might/sometimes helps/prevents/reduces/softens stretch marks and loose skin acquired during pregnancy. I feel horrible that I did not oil myself, as one is supposed to, during pregnancy. I feel like if I had, then maybe I would not have gotten stretch marks and loose skin, maybe my breasts would have stayed more taut, maybe it would have just reduced the number and/or severity of my stretch marks and loose skin..but it’s obviously too late now, and I’ll never know. Now I feel like since 1. my body is ruined and 2. it is my fault that it is ruined that 1. I am ugly and 2. unworthy of a husband/lover/additional pregnancies.

I’ve included some photos of myself, but remember that the resolution is so poor that my deep stretch marks do not really show. I don’t have a good camera, only a webcam with fuzzy resolution. But hopefully some of the loose skin and breast sagginess is visible enough to prove the legitimacy of my concerns. Trust me, you can’t see my stretchmarks in the pics, but they are deep and countless and all over my body.

My Body After Two Kids (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 6 Comments

I’m 37, and my girls are aged 5 and 2.

I was worried with each of my pregnancies that I would find it hard to get back in shape; or that my body would be radically changed. You go through so many changes when you’re pregnant that it’s hard to see how you will ever go back to normal. But, I came out of it ok. I try to exercise whenever I can, even it its just taking the girls for a walk or doing sit ups in front of TV. I used to go to weights class but had such bad pubis symphasis pain that I don’t want to do the heavy squats and lunges anymore; I feel a twinge of the pain in my pelvis whenever I have to out my back into pushing something, like a heavy door or piece of furniture. With my second girl I had a caesarian, I have a small ridge just above my pubic bone but it is nothing too bad. For various medical reasons I will have an elective section if we have a third child, and I wonder what the effect of a second section will do to my tummy.

I used this site when I was pregnant to seek reassurance, and I hope this give some reassurance back to other mums. I’ve included a picture of me the day before I went into labour with my second.

Apart from the pelvic pain, the main change has been to my breasts. They are not as large or full as they were – I feel like the bloom has gone off them! I breastfed noth my girls til they were two though, so some change is to be expected.

Wrecked (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, VBAC 4 Comments

I got pregnant at 17 years old and I was in a boarding school that ate processed food breakfast, lunch and dinner. I gained 80lbs during that pregnancy that ended in a completely unnecessary c-section. I looked at my body after I gave birth, at only 17 years old was so depressed. I didn’t even have a choice to be healthy and maybe prevent the stretching and weight gain. I felt raped. I couldn’t imagine ever finding anybody that wouldn’t be completely grossed out by the stretch marks on my stomach, legs, and breasts. It was so hard for me to accept for so many years.

As I got older and made more mommy friends, got married, and gained more experience I realized, 4 children later (by the age of 23) that I would rather have my hands full (with all those ugly stretch marks and saggy skin and major diastasis) than to have them empty. I have a husband that loves all of me and 4 perfect kids (two VBA2C babies at home!). A body is just a body. I hate that our society has made them so much more important than our minds and our contributions to society. I have yet to find a stomach that is more wrecked than mine! But that’s ok! Those kids of mine were more than worth it!

AGE: 25
two years postpartum. 5 pregnancies (ages 8,6,4,2), 4 births

Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, 5+ Years Postpartum, Adoption, Child Loss, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

I have a incredible update to my story. My son I gave up for adoption well his dad and I got married. We got reunited with our son on our wedding day. He and his family was at our wedding. His adoptive parents are amazing my son is now 22 and I have never been happier. I have learned through all of my life experiences that everything happens for a reason and there is a plan for each thing we face in life whether it be bad or good. I have never felt sexier, more beautiful, and complete in all my life. I will always greive for the loss of my baby but know that someday I will be reunited with him. These pics were taken just a month ago. I believe that when you love yourself love will find you. My body is not perfect no where close to perfect there are things I wish were different but I know that every flaw I see is part of the beauty in my life. Each stretch mark each grey hair and the well not perfectly toned body is all part of being a mom. One of the greatest gifts in the world. I am going to be 39 here real soon and am embracing my age and my life. I encourage all of you to love yourself you become a better lover, a better mom, a better wife/girlfriend. When you love yourself your truly able to give all of you to the ones you love

Crazy Boobs (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

My breasts were always a bit different, one was a tiny bit bigger than the other, you’d have to be real close or touch them to feel the difference, but since I gave birth a year ago, it completely changed. I tried breastfeeding my daugther but it never really worked. I breastfed her for a week before switching to formula saving both her health and my mental health (I was a crying mess, feeling guilty and unworthy), I don’t regret this choice, breastfeeding is beautiful but not possible for all woman and it’s ok. Only my right breast (the ”biggest” one) produced milk, the other one was dry. I believe this is what gave my breast this look. I’m crying as I look at the pictures. Prior to giving birth I was a confident woman, I’ve never being thin, I’m a bit chunky and I like that, my husband also and I was felt super confortable around him. But it changed. Although he’s never said anything about my breasts I feel ashamed and so ugly. I hate them. I always wear a sport bra because it keeps them flat and the size different doesn’t show to much. I sleep with the bra on sometimes, because when my arm brush past the ”biggest” one it makes me cry. We want to have another child but it scares me that my breasts will get even more weird after an other pregnancy. I’d like to get surgery, just to reduce the size of the big one…

I’m lucky, I didn’t get stretch marks (some on my tummy but they faded real fast) and although still a bit big my belly doesn’t make me sad so much. My tits however…

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: a year