Update

My right to choose (Lucia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

age 19
1st pregnancy, 15 weeks along

I´m pro-choice, I´ve always been, I think a woman has the right to decide when on whether to become a mother, I think a woman should have some saying over what goes on in her body and her life and that should start with having access to sexual education. My mother is pro-life.

I told her about my pregnancy over the phone, since we are so far apart, I started out by telling her how happy I was, and how my plans went, so she wouldn’t be worried, how my boyfriend feels about it, how loving and supportive he is, that we had plans to get married and have kids in the future and the baby just got ahead our plans, that I´m going to stay in college.

A couple of days later she called me and said something that upset me very much, she sugar coated it as much as she could, telling me that I was too young and that if I “decided not to have it” it would be a good idea too, that when I´m older I can have as many children as I want. In spite of the sugar coat all I heard was “You should murder your baby, your flesh and blood, because it gets in the way of my plans for you, you should kill him because it’s so insignificant, it’s so meaningless it can be replaced later on…”

I cried so hard when we had that conversation that everyone in my house noticed, my grandma came in to comfort me and I told her, I wanted to tell her just like I had told my mom, telling her how happy I was and that everything was going to be fine, but I didn’t get that chance, because I was in tears and her response was telling me that my mother was right. I was physically sick for days after that.

I´ve always thought it’s not right when girls are forced to have babies they do not want because of how the law goes in my country and how many women get injured and even killed getting an illegal abortion under poor conditions because they didn’t have access to anything better, a better education, better ways to take care of themselves, a better life. But I think we hardly consider those teenage girls that are forced to get an abortion or to give up their children because they are underage and it doesn’t matter if they love their babies, and if they are willing to work hard for them, whoever is in charged won´t give them the chance. I´m pro-choice, and I choose to have my baby, I haven’t considered anything else.

pics: 9 weeks, 14 weeks

Updated here.

Worth it – Update (Regina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 7 Comments

Previous entries here and here.

I have posted here several times now. This website keeps me going. Reminds me that there is nothing wrong with my body. There is something wrong with other’s expectations of me.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am 21 and I have carried 2 babies 8 days overdue each. I have breastfed. i have fought the internal war when I had to give that up. I can balance a toddler on one hip with a baby in a sling and still go grocery shopping. I am a mother. I am an amazing mother. I don’t do everything right. Most of the time I don’t think I do anything right. But I am.And I do. I have birthed with pain meds. I have birthed naturally.

I will never have the body I had before I had my children. I DON’T WANT IT! It was beautiful, YES. It was flawless and unmarked. It was unappreciated and hated. And weak. Let it die now. I didn’t have a body I wanted. So I was given a new one by motherhood. It is not disgusting or flawed. It is new and full of life. It is strong. It can handle pain and heartache. It can handle a kick to the gut by a 3 year old and it can handle infection upon infection caused by improper breastfeeding.

My new body is bigger. It has more fat and skin. It has bigger breasts and a bigger butt. Thighs that refuse to tone. And stretch marks.

Let me tell you something about stretch marks. There is nothing about my body I love more. I can not explain it. These scars that cause women so much heartache are the greatest joy of my body. They are beautiful. They were given to me when my daughter’s grew within me. Each time adding more than I even thought possible. Like laugh lines that mark happiness and sun “damage” that shows a youth spent at the beach, my stretch marks show that I too have carried and birthed babies. No one has to like them or notice or appreciate them like i do. I never want them to go away.

My story:
I became pregnant with my first daughter when I was 16 years old. I am 5’6″ and I weighed 158 pounds and wore a size 11 in juniors. By 32 weeks, the week I was married to the father, I had gained 15 pounds. By the time I delivered 8 days overdue on January 9, 2006 I had gained 47 pounds, topping out at 205. I lost 20 in delivery. Leaving me at 185 pounds. And then lost NOTHING. During the 2nd year of my daughter’s life I worked my day down to 173 pounds. But then it worked it’s way back up again and when I found out I was pregnant with my second child on January 24, 2008 when I was 19 years old, I weighed 186 pounds and wore a size 15-17 in Juniors. Through out the pregnancy I gained 18 pounds and birthed my daughter 100% natural 8 days overdue on October 5, 2008. I lost the entire 18 pounds in delivery. When my second daughter was 7 months old I left my husband. Suddenly I had so much free time. There were whole days when I didn’t have the girls. I also only had my self and my children to pick up after. So I started to take care of myself again. I started working out every day, sadly I reverted back to my highschool ways and ate only 300 calories a day. But in only a few months I was down to 158 pounds. My PRE-MOTHERHOOD weight!!! I met another man and we started dating. He is a personal trainer and was not very happy about my eating habits or lack there of. So I started eating again. I have gained pretty much all the weight back. I weight 180 pounds right now. But I wear a size 13 in juniors and my body is not too bad looking. I know that I just don’t have the will power to bring my weight down the healthy way. Which is the only way to keep it down. So I might as well make the best with what I do have. So my goal is to have a sexy, voluptuous, curvy body. Instead of shooting for skinny. Which seems so unattainable to me, i just want the body I have to look the best it can.

*Picture 1: 9 months pregnant with #1
*Picture 2: 24 months post partum from #1
*Picture 3: 9 months pregnant with #2
*picture 4: 10 months post partum #2 158 pounds
*picture 5: 14 months post partum #2 180 pounds
*picture 6 & 7: The most beautiful gift ever received

~Age: 21 years old
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies, 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 years and 14 months

Update (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

This is my other post.

The last time I posted, I was only 2 ½ months post partum. I had already lost all of my pregnancy weight, and was happy about that. Since my last post, I have continued to lose weight. I weigh less now than I did when I was 11 years old. No one has been able to find out why I continue to lose weight. I love food; I am always in the fridge or the cupboard looking for food. I am addicted to salty foods, especially chips, they are a part of my daily diet. But despite my bad eating habits I continue to lose weight. I am sure many women would be envious, but it’s almost scary. Will I continue to lose weight? What happens when too much is just too much?

Before I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed about 120lbs. I am only 5 feet tall, so 120lbs isn’t too bad. But since having my daughter, almost 6 months ago, I am down to 105lbs. I am 15lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight!! Sure, it is nice not to worry about what I am eating all the time, but I want it to stop. Unfortunately I was not blessed with very elastic skin. It does not bounce back… AT ALL! It is becoming more and saggier with each pound that comes off, and I wish it would just stop. My body looks as though it has deflated. Don’t get me wrong, I love my body for what it did: It gave me 2 beautiful and amazing children. I don’t even care about the stretch marks or saggy skin… I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again. My husband loves my body, with or without the imperfections, it’s just me… I need to love my body again!

I took these pictures today. They are all of me 5 ½ months post partum, except the last 2, they are my son who just turned 4 on Dec 12, and my daughter who will be 6 months on Dec 23.

Updated here, here, and here.

Ode To My Scar (Colleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions, Update 29 Comments

I posted when I was 3 weeks postpartum about my feelings following a cesarean, and I wasn’t planning on posting again until I’d made some progress on my body, but I have had some thoughts that I would like to share (especially considering I’ve read several dissatisfied Cesarean mommy posts lately).

As much as I hated the necessity of a cesarean, I am somewhat fond of my scar. It’s very smooth (though still red), and aside from some numbness, doesn’t bother me at all—no stiffness or pulling. Sometimes I like to run my fingers over the smoother skin along the scar and remember the day I got it, the day I got to meet my sweet baby girl.

Anyhow, this is what I thought about: C-section scars are very unique. They are the only type of scar that is instantly recognizable (no other surgery causes an incision in the same place, same size, every person, every time). They are the only scar whose creation saved two lives instead of one. And they are a physical sign of a mother’s willingness to do anything for her children—even go under the knife.

A cesarean scar is a reminder that all of the planning in the world can’t make things go the way you want it to. It is a reminder that children will do what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. For those who avoided stretch marks, it can be a physical reminder of how your body sheltered and grew a baby all those months. And it is a souvenir of one of the happiest days of a mother’s life.

It occurred to me that a cesarean scar is kind of like a badge of membership in an exclusive club. Sure, we might not all have stories about where we felt that first contraction, or how long labor lasted, or how long we pushed (though some do), but we have birth stories of a different type. We did what we had to to make sure our children got here safely, and that’s what really matters. So, yes, I like my scar quite a bit, and I’m glad I’ll always have it to remind me of all of these things.

(As a follow-up to my last post, I’m doing much better with my feelings about the cesarean. I am very positive I can have a VBAC next time—unless #2 is also breech!—and that confidence has helped to dispel any lingering feelings of loss. The only time I’ve felt bad about it in the last month or two was when a friend had a 10 lb. baby vaginally, and I thought “why is that she can do that, and I couldn’t even deliver my 6 ½ pounder?” But I got over it quickly because I know my time will come. Now my only problem is waiting 3 years to find out if I can actually do it!)

My age: 25
One pregnancy, one birth
4 months +1 week postpartum (19 weeks)

Pictures (sorry they’re awkward close-ups, but I figured if I was going to write all about my scar, I needed to include pictures of it!):
My incision 1 day post-partum (for comparison–sorry it’s kind of blurry)
My scar today (19 weeks post-partum)
My little girl, because I love sharing pictures of her!

Updated here and here.

3 Months Postpartum – 2nd Pregnancy (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Back, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Update 15 Comments

Original entries here and here.

Since I already have belly pics from both my first and second pregnancy on this site, these are all postpartum. As always, I welcome emails at rachelsigfried@yahoo.com. I’d also like to give a special thanks to Bonnie for blessing us with this site.

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2
~How far postpartum you are: 3 months

I did it! 9 Months PP Minus 60 Pounds! (Elissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 16 Comments

Anonymous
Age of pregnancy: 22
Age now: 24

Previous entry here.

I just posted at 8 Months PP I had 5 pounds to go. Well, I made my goal 9 months pp! For all you ladies with those annoying women in your life that tell you what you need to do to lose your weight and constantly tell you how you should do it…Don’t listen…Do what works for you. I had a friend who gained about 42 pounds and lost it all within 5 months. She was a size 3 when she was 6 months PP and I was watching her try on clothes in a wheelchair at 36 weeks pregnant. LOTS OF FUN FOR ME! At 4 months PP she tried to get me to go on walks and do P90X with her. I had a C-Section and I still didn’t feel like my body was ready. P90X works but it killed my recovering body and after 15 minutes of doing it I wouldn’t do it again. I was so sore! My friend informed me that if I wanted to lose my weight I needed to eat fat burning foods…My friend didn’t breastfeed and I did…I started trying what she told me to do because I was in a rut…Well, I kept getting migraines and was getting really sick. I had to go to the doctor and they told me not to starve myself and eat lots of protien and enough carbs…DON’T LISTEN TO those know it all friends, they don’t help and take you off of what was working for you. Our bodies are all completely different and we will lose weight at the pace our body wants to lose it. My body isn’t what it once was, and my butt doesn’t seem to want to perk up for me…But I love it. I am finding that I grow to love my pooch on my tummy more and more because that’s where my daughter lived for 9 months. If anyone needs any pointers I will be glad to help with advice on what worked for me. I LOVE my food and eating right wasn’t even a challenge for me because I still ate yummy food, just ate the right amounts and watched my calorie intake. I also splurged on strawberry frozen yogurt. Good luck ladies, I know how it feels when you’re first starting out with the new baby and new body. It took me 9 months!

Updated here.

Update: 3 Years, 3 Surgeries and 3 Kids Later (Val)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean), Twins, Update 9 Comments

Original entry here.

My kids are now almost 3 and the twins are 19 months old! We have moved to a new town and I struggle with continuing to lose weight. I am now at 182 lbs, but part of it has been gaining muscle! I do 30-40 mins of Tae Bo 4-5 times a week. Eat smaller meals (and HEALTHIER meals) and even though I havent seen the change on the scale I HAVE seen the change in my body. I dont know if Ill ever lose the loose skin, But clothes that were tight on me 3 months ago now look great! (I am in a size 12-13! Size 2 at Fashion Bugg :D WOO HOO!) I had bought a body slimmer and now I can wear my dress clothes without it! I have learned that being a little hungry is ok and how to keep myself motivated. I keep coming back here for motivation and it helps sooo much!

I have also found a great doctor that has put me on BC (should be doubly protected right?) and it has leveled out hormones and has aided in the weight loss. That and I found I was MASSIVELY vit. D deficient. My three year old is in the last photo.

So thank you Shape of a Mother! You have helped me stay motivated!

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 preg 3 births

Update – 18months PP 38 weeks pregnant (Berni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Age – 20

I originally posted around 3 months after the birth of my son, and again when I was 6 and a half month postpartum. Around the time of my last post I’m ashamed to admit I became very depressed about my body and started to make myself sick, thankfully I realised how stupid I was being and only did it a few times. Slowly I came to accept my body although I still had some very down days. I especially hated the wrinkles on my stomach, the weird belly button and although faint the millions of stretch marks. I also seem to have a massive gap between my stomach muscles.

At 10 months post partum I weighed around 128lbs at just under 5’8 (around 7lb less then my pre-pregnancy weight).I remember thinking I was still fat but I look back now and I can see now that I was very slim. I then discovered that I was pregnant again. I am now 38 weeks pregnant (EDD 12/12/09) with a baby girl we think we will call Lilac. I have gained 35lb so far which is a fair deal less than last time. I’m planning a water HBAC .

I really hope I can come to accept my body as it is now I’m having a daughter as I’d hate to pass on any body image issues to her.

The first pic is 10 months PP
The second pic is also 10 month PP
The third pic is 10 months PP
The fourth pic 33 weeks pregnant with number 2
The fifth pic is now (38 weeks pregnant with number 2)
The sixth pic is me and my son (18 months)

Updated here.

My Dream Came True (SCS)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 20 Comments

Age: 29
Number of pregnancies: 2
Births: 1
Childs age: 2yrs

First I want to say I love this site. I just wish this site had more true plus size women. So I am posting my pics. I have always wanted children but was told I would probably have trouble getting pregnant due to an upturned cervix. I always told myself that if I never got pregnant before age 27 that I didn’t want any. I felt any after I would be too old. After seeing the movie facing the giants, I finally said, “ok God, if I never have any children I will be fine.” And I gave up on my dream. In March of 2007 I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled, especially when I turn 27 in July, it was rather funny.

I had a wonderful pregnancy, my feet got swollen but other than that it was perfect. I went to all the classes, read all the books. Of course the 2 things I didn’t read on was cesareans and bottle feeding. I knew I was going to do it natural and breastfeed. At exactly 40 weeks, I went into labor on Monday November 12th 2007. I had been waking up during the night but I wasn’t sure what from. When my boyfriend woke up at 6 to get ready for work, I still didn’t realize what was happening. It wasn’t until he left that I realized what was happening every 30 minutes. At 7:30 I called him telling him to come home I was 10 minutes apart. by the time he got home at 9 I was 7 minutes apart. He laughed at me all the way to the hospital. I remember just trying to breathe. nothing special just breathe. oh it hurt. By the time I got to the hospital I was 5 minutes apart. An hour later they broke my water and I was 2 minutes apart. by 12:30 I couldn’t take anymore I finally got an epidural. at 2 the docs came in and said the baby’s heart rate dropped and they started prepping me for a cesarean. I broke down and cried. At 2:24 my sweet little boy was born. So there was one thing I wasn’t prepared for. Then I tried breast feeding my son, on the day I was suppose to leave the hospital the nurse told me I would have to bottle feed my son. I cried yet again. My milk never came in, even after a week of having my son, nothing. So here I was with watermelon boobs (granted I was always had huge boobs) and they were completely worthless to me. I couldn’t even feed my baby.

Almost 2 years later and I want another child. About a month ago I found out I was pregnant again. I was so happy. On Monday November 2nd I lost my baby. Right now I am numb. I cried a lot that Monday but so far I haven’t been able to mourn like I should.

All in all I’m ok with my body. I am at least 50lbs more than I want to be. My stretch marks don’t bother me because I had them before I got pregnant, so I knew I’d get them. What bothers me most is my double chin and I have no clue how to get rid of that. the pics of me are from 2006 before I got pregnant, my belly pic at 37 weeks, and me at 22months pp right before I found out I was pregnant again.

Updated here.

Update (Sierra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins, Update 15 Comments

Original entries here and here.

I have posted on here twice & will probably only post again once more after this, but I do love visiting this site quite often. I love seeing how many brave, wonderful, & extremely beautiful mothers are out there!! Please ladies always keep your head held high and know you are a beautiful WOMAN!

My twins are now 6 months old (6 months postpartum) and doing wonderful. They are a bit on the small side, nothing that makes the pediatricians worry however. My son is now 2 1/2 and still doing so amazing with his sisters, he’s such a big help and wonderful big brother. I am such a proud and happy mother to all 3 of my beautiful children. I wouldn’t change a minute of it, they have given me soo much hope and unbelievable joy, they truly are my every reason for breathing. I am now engaged to the love of my life & we plan on marrying in August of next year. I am so happy and complete with my life, i couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.

It’s been a hard road to get to this point, but i’m happy i’ve made it. I used to be so insecure with myself and at times still do struggle with my own insecurities as does every woman/mom at some point, but i’ve truly found my equal who loves every bit of me and accepts me for me & i have 3 beautiful healthy children to show for everything I’ve been through. I’m stronger than I once was & its all thanks to my children and my wonderful fiancee.

Pictures:

1,2,&3 are me at a week shy of 6 mnths postpartum.
4 & 5 are of my 3 beautiful kiddies! (my son & the twins)