Submissions

After-Baby Belly Consuming My Thoughts (Jade)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 15 Comments

Age-24
Number of pregnancies\births-2 one natural one c section

Hello everyone! My name is Jade. First and foremost i have to say this site is pretty awesome. Its not everyday that we see what the bodies of real mothers look like without being photo-shopped or distorted by media. Its really sad, but its great that someone thought of this site and there are so many awesome mamas that put our bodies out there to share with each other.

I’m 24, have two amazing kids (5 and 2) an amazing supportive husband, awesome friends, but a major issue with my post pregnancy body. I am petite and always liked my body but had my issues (aka stupid teenager thought i was fat, how i wish i still had that body\skin UGH!) Anyway i had my first child young right out of high school and needless to say, she tore my skin to pieces. I had the worst stretch marks i had seen on anyone. They are not as red anymore but deep, silvery scars, across the bottom of my stomach like a belt to my hips around to my butt. Now i hadn’t seen alot other then my moms who i didn’t see alot either but i was only 19. Didn’t get alot more with my second child thank god. My issue is, i am OBSESSED with how much i hate my stretch marks\loose skin. I see myself as a 300 lb women when i look in the mirror. I’m just disgusted. I know I could look worse but its just depressing. When i see other young women wearing a midriff bearing top or bikini it makes me green with envy. I look at my beautiful healthy kids and say to myself it is all so worth it and it is. Its just hard. Why did I have to get stretch marks and other women did not. To make things worse I have tried every remedy in the book and nothing is working. I want to start working out and get down to my 112 pre pregnancy weight I’m about 124 right now. I am hoping maybe that will make me feel a little better but i don’t think it will. i feel so vain even saying these things but they take over my thoughts daily. In the shower, when I’m getting dressed. I just wish they would disappear. I am so tired of feeling this way. Its so hard because i feel like even if i was in great shape, i will never look good in a bikini because of my skin. My husband tells me he is not even bothered by them, but i have a really hard time believing it. Does anyone else feel this way or have any experience with fraxel laser resurfacing? Its basically my last resort because at this point i am considering a tummy tuck. I dont know if I can be happy anymore with my body. Thank you for reading my story and I am hoping that my attitude towards my body will change, one day.

I have never shown my body in this way to anyone, not even my husband. I am hoping this will make me feel better by just putting myself out there to women who would understand. First picture is what my tummy looks like in flattering lighting. Second is my scarred belly. Third is when I sit down (loose skin) and 4th is my horrible stretch marks on my hip (they are like this on both sides)

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 10 Comments

3 pregnancies. 2 Children. A 7 year old girl and a 5 years old boy. I am 33 years old.

I’m not sure where to start. I love this web site and it has helped me a little to know there are other women who feel the same way I do. I am completely ashamed and hate How my body looks since having children and losing 70lbs. It’s so frustrating to look totally normal with clothes on but underneath I feel I look anything but normal. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and says I look perfect but I still cringe when he touches me or looks at me, not because I don’t love his touch, but because I’m so disgusted with my body. I feel gulity that don’t look better for him and I can’t even do things like wear a bathing suit. I thought with time my feelings would change and I would behind to feel better about it but I only feel much worse. And then I feel guilty because it seems so vain of me to be so worried about How I look when I have my beautiful children, boyfriend, family and health. It’s a never ending cycle. anyway, that’s my story. Thank you for reading and I think you are all so beautiful!

Almost Six Years Later (Rianon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Age: 24
Number of children: 2
Daughter: 5 1/2 and my son is 21 months

Previous post here.

I posted my first entry 3 1/2 years ago after I discovered this amazing site. Reading it again now, I realize how different my views have changed about pregnancy, childbirth, and what it means to be beautiful as a woman.

When I wrote my first post I was a 21 year old mother of a daughter. I was incredibly insecure and vain (I’m still vain but no where near as insecure as I once was.) I obsessed about my stretch marks and boobs and butt, and if I gained a pound my world was a catastrophe. I felt that women should always try to be beautiful and wondered why we would have to get stretch marks and saggy skin when we had children. I moved to Texas a couple months after I posted it and got pregnant with my son the next year in 2011. I was terrified my entire pregnancy that my breasts (and breast augmentation) were going to be ruined and that my stomach would explode into a mass of stretch marks. I gained 27lbs during pregnancy weighing in at about 142lbs at delivery (I’m 5’2). I lost all my baby weight thanks to breastfeeding and stress within the next three months and was down to 111lbs in no time. However I still thought I looked bad, I thought my arms were chunky and that my stomach looked like an a deflated balloon.

Then something horrible and amazing happened. My husband and me went through a extremely rough patch and I took a couple of classes on feminism. It completely blew my mind. I had always considered myself a feminist but getting in depth into the history of feminism in the United States and learning how women are systemically taught to hate everything natural about ourselves really got to me. When my husband and I were at the brink of almost falling apart it also dawned on me that no matter how much I obsessed about my appearance and how beautiful a woman makes herself it doesn’t really matter. Beauty doesn’t come from the outside and when its cheap and vain it isn’t true. I was faced with new ideas about what being a women really means, and what being a mother means. It is hard being a feminist and a mother in our society. We are faced with cultural expectations of sexuality and modesty, being a mother and being a woman. I started looking at my body in a completely different way and I started thinking about WHY we women put these unrealistic standards on ourselves? Men don’t care about a little cellulite and stretch marks and if they do they aren’t worth it anyways. Only WOMEN care! Why do we torture ourselves if no one else but ourselves are judging us? Our society allows men to pick apart women like meat and we are taught to expect it. Have you noticed that we will sit around and dissect female celebrities by bits and pieces but never have I heard a woman say: “Oh I like Channing Tatum’s arms but he has a weird stomach.”

Men are afforded this luxury while women feel we have to apologize for so called “flaws” like stretch marks, softer breasts and love handles. I am an aspiring photographer and every single beautiful girl I have taken pictures of complains about something on her body. It goes to show you that no matter how perfect we think another woman is, she still feels flawed. That is what we are taught, and the only way to fight back is to not accept it.

Although I still feel self conscious from time to time I have decided to own my own feelings about my body. I don’t allow anyone else to tell me how to judge myself. Its a struggle but I accept it more and more everyday. My husband tells me he thinks I’m beautiful and I believe him. My stomach and boobs have stretch marks and I care less and less everyday. Now I wear bikinis to the beach and guess what? It feels great.

Gaining Confidence (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Vulva 11 Comments

I recently discovered SOAM and was happy to see a forum for discussing the changes women go through after childbirth. There seem to be a lot of younger women (20s) with beautiful bodies who post on this site, I wanted to share my story and pictures too. I’m 35 and have given birth to three children, with my recent child being born less than 6-months ago. I actually cried when we found it we were having our 3rd because I was finally happy with my body after our 2nd and the 3rd caught us by surprise. Now that we know we’re done having kids, I want to look the best that I can. I was worried about all aspects of my body: stomach, butt, boobs, and the taboo topic area (vagina/labia). I’ve been very self-conscious about my body, even though I’m back to my pre-baby weight of 125lbs. I just wish things were tighter than they are. My husband is very supportive and tells me frequently how good I look and how I turn him on. It’s nice to hear but I still miss my pre-baby body. Our sex life is still good too. I was worried what a 3rd vaginal delivery would do to me, but things still look the same down there and I can still orgasm like before. I’m posting these pictures, in part, to show other women what a women can look like after three pregnancies. My husband also encouraged me to post, telling me that I should be proud of how I look so soon after giving birth to our 3rd. Still nervous to submit but if you’re reading this…..I mustered up enough courage to hit the send button. Thanks.

Age: 35
Pregnancies/births: 3

080613-anon-1

More intimate photos here.

Wrecked (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Children with Health Complications, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 19 Comments

Hello

I have enjoyed and found support in reading many of these entries for quite some time and finally felt like I should share my story.

I have two beautiful children, a son who is now 5 and a 17 month old baby girl.
With my first pregnancy it was quite a shock. I was 24 and had only been married 4 months. I was on the pill when I got pregnant and was shocked and upset when I found out. I did not feel ready in any way. We were newly married, I was finishing school, we hasn’t even gone on a honeymoon yet! I cried for weeks. Finally I was beginning to accept it when we found out something was wrong-he had a condition called gastrochesis, a rare condition where the abdomen doesn’t close so all his intestines, stomach etc were outside his body. Anyways to make a long story short it was a rough pregnancy and a very rough beginning to life and parenthood. He was in the hospital for months, surgeries etc.

Body wise though, I didn’t gain much weight, did not get stretch marks and bounced back immediately. Due to stress I lost additional weigh and was skinnier then ever.

When I got pregnant with my daughter it was a different experience. We were trying to conceive this time and the pregnancy went smoothly. I gained a ton of weight-got close to 200 pounds at delivery and she was 8.14, a big healthy baby! I got stretch marks on my breasts and a few on my hips. I still have at least 10-15 pounds that won’t come off. I hate my love handles. I love my kids more then anything but it depresses me to look in the mirror and I don’t see my flat toned stomach or perky boobs anymore. Then the other day at work I ran into the seamstress who did alterations on my wedding dress. She said ” wow kids sure wrecked your body. You used to be so skinny!” I cried all night over that comment, I’ve never felt so hurt.

I want to feel sexy and beautiful again, sometimes I still do, but I guess it’s going to take time to accept myself.

-anonymous, aged 31

080513-anon-1

Toned After Twins (Lindsay)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 5 Comments

I am a 27 year old mom of beautiful twin girls! my pregnancy was a very difficult one- spending the majority of it on bed rest and in the hospital. My girls were born too early and spent 2 months in the NICU. Once they arrived home, I could never find the time or energy to get to the gym. I started working out from home when I could and lost all of the twin baby weight in the privacy of my own bedroom! I do have slight stretch marks, and I don’t quite look how I did before, but I am happy with the progress I have made and feel good about myself as a mother of twins! I have now created a blog to help others stay motivated to reach their own health and fitness goals, to provide a fun and supportive community, and to share healthy recipes for families! But most importantly, I am a proud stay at home mom to my happy and healthy girls and am LOVING every minute of it!

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: one pregnancy, twin birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: First photo was taken hours before walking into my c-section, second photos were taken one year postpartum!

080213-lindsay-1

My Story (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 36 Comments

Hi, I’m Marie. I have a 5 year old daughter. I’m a single mom since my husband left me, and I’ve been single and celibate for 5 years now. I would love to remarry and have a companion, a lover, and a father-figure for my daughter. But I am so insecure and ashamed of my post-pregnancy body that I refuse to get close to any guy, refuse to be seen naked, heaven forbid try to have sex. I know I should be more mature than this, and less shallow when it comes to physical beauty, but for 5 years I’ve been ashamed of my body and I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling ugly and unworthy because of it.

I got countless stretch marks during pregnancy. My belly is covered from belly button all the way down to where pubic hair starts. My hips and thighs and upper buttocks are covered in stretch marks, too. My breasts as well, covered, and even the backs of my calves. The deepest ones are on my belly and breasts. If I stand far away in good lighting you can’t see them, because they’ve faded mostly white, and my skin is fair. But They are still deep, and countless. I also have some looseness of skin on my belly and my breast’s skin is not as taut as it was before pregnancy. My breasts themselves also became lower and “empty” feeling immediately following pregnancy/end of breast feeding. So I feel like my breasts are pretty saggy for my age and the fact that I’ve only had one child.
I didn’t know what to expect with pregnancy. Nobody told me about stretch marks or loose skin or abdominal muscles tearing, etc, etc. I didn’t know about vitamin E oil and that it can/might/sometimes helps/prevents/reduces/softens stretch marks and loose skin acquired during pregnancy. I feel horrible that I did not oil myself, as one is supposed to, during pregnancy. I feel like if I had, then maybe I would not have gotten stretch marks and loose skin, maybe my breasts would have stayed more taut, maybe it would have just reduced the number and/or severity of my stretch marks and loose skin..but it’s obviously too late now, and I’ll never know. Now I feel like since 1. my body is ruined and 2. it is my fault that it is ruined that 1. I am ugly and 2. unworthy of a husband/lover/additional pregnancies.

I’ve included some photos of myself, but remember that the resolution is so poor that my deep stretch marks do not really show. I don’t have a good camera, only a webcam with fuzzy resolution. But hopefully some of the loose skin and breast sagginess is visible enough to prove the legitimacy of my concerns. Trust me, you can’t see my stretchmarks in the pics, but they are deep and countless and all over my body.

My Body After Two Kids (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 6 Comments

I’m 37, and my girls are aged 5 and 2.

I was worried with each of my pregnancies that I would find it hard to get back in shape; or that my body would be radically changed. You go through so many changes when you’re pregnant that it’s hard to see how you will ever go back to normal. But, I came out of it ok. I try to exercise whenever I can, even it its just taking the girls for a walk or doing sit ups in front of TV. I used to go to weights class but had such bad pubis symphasis pain that I don’t want to do the heavy squats and lunges anymore; I feel a twinge of the pain in my pelvis whenever I have to out my back into pushing something, like a heavy door or piece of furniture. With my second girl I had a caesarian, I have a small ridge just above my pubic bone but it is nothing too bad. For various medical reasons I will have an elective section if we have a third child, and I wonder what the effect of a second section will do to my tummy.

I used this site when I was pregnant to seek reassurance, and I hope this give some reassurance back to other mums. I’ve included a picture of me the day before I went into labour with my second.

Apart from the pelvic pain, the main change has been to my breasts. They are not as large or full as they were – I feel like the bloom has gone off them! I breastfed noth my girls til they were two though, so some change is to be expected.

Wrecked (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, VBAC 4 Comments

I got pregnant at 17 years old and I was in a boarding school that ate processed food breakfast, lunch and dinner. I gained 80lbs during that pregnancy that ended in a completely unnecessary c-section. I looked at my body after I gave birth, at only 17 years old was so depressed. I didn’t even have a choice to be healthy and maybe prevent the stretching and weight gain. I felt raped. I couldn’t imagine ever finding anybody that wouldn’t be completely grossed out by the stretch marks on my stomach, legs, and breasts. It was so hard for me to accept for so many years.

As I got older and made more mommy friends, got married, and gained more experience I realized, 4 children later (by the age of 23) that I would rather have my hands full (with all those ugly stretch marks and saggy skin and major diastasis) than to have them empty. I have a husband that loves all of me and 4 perfect kids (two VBA2C babies at home!). A body is just a body. I hate that our society has made them so much more important than our minds and our contributions to society. I have yet to find a stomach that is more wrecked than mine! But that’s ok! Those kids of mine were more than worth it!

AGE: 25
two years postpartum. 5 pregnancies (ages 8,6,4,2), 4 births

Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, 5+ Years Postpartum, Adoption, Child Loss, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

I have a incredible update to my story. My son I gave up for adoption well his dad and I got married. We got reunited with our son on our wedding day. He and his family was at our wedding. His adoptive parents are amazing my son is now 22 and I have never been happier. I have learned through all of my life experiences that everything happens for a reason and there is a plan for each thing we face in life whether it be bad or good. I have never felt sexier, more beautiful, and complete in all my life. I will always greive for the loss of my baby but know that someday I will be reunited with him. These pics were taken just a month ago. I believe that when you love yourself love will find you. My body is not perfect no where close to perfect there are things I wish were different but I know that every flaw I see is part of the beauty in my life. Each stretch mark each grey hair and the well not perfectly toned body is all part of being a mom. One of the greatest gifts in the world. I am going to be 39 here real soon and am embracing my age and my life. I encourage all of you to love yourself you become a better lover, a better mom, a better wife/girlfriend. When you love yourself your truly able to give all of you to the ones you love