When I gave birth I weighed 224lbs, nine months postpartum I weigh 244lbs.
~Age:27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1, 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9 months
9 months up, 9 months down (Anonymous)
Pregnant
My Ever-Changing Body (Ashley)
Age 24
3 pregnancies 2 births
Children- 4.5 and 16 months
It all started when I was 19 years old. I found out I was pregnant with our daughter sometime during the end of August 2005. I was around 140-145 before I got pregnant with her and gained 51 pounds during my pregnancy, she was 10 days early. It took me awhile to start to lose weight. My daughter was around 18 months old when I finally started to exercise, I don’t know why I didn’t start sooner. I manged to get back down to my pre pregnancy weight and also lost an extra 13-15 pounds on top of that, putting me around 125-127. I was really happy with were I was at weight wise and I felt wonderful. Mind you, my daughter was about 2-2.5 by this point so it took a little while. I basically just walked a lot, became a vegetarian and eat really healthy whole foods as much as possible. My husband and I decided it was time for another baby, it happened faster then we thought, 2 months after trying we got our positive test but I miscarried that baby at 6 weeks. In those 6 weeks I gained 5lbs. So I went up to about 130. I was determined to get pregnant again, the next cycle we got another positive. I was scared but excited. I felt better with this pregnancy, it felt different. I was able to eat a good diet and drank lots of water and continued to exercise. I really didn’t want to gain another 50 pounds. My pregnancy went really well! A lot easier then the 1st and 2nd. I only gained 37lbs. Putting me at 167ish. About a week after my son was born I had already dropped 20lbs. I honestly thought it would be easier this time but I was wrong. I exercised as much as a could with 2 kids. My daughter was only a 3 years 3 months when brother was born. She still needed a lot of my attention and I was still breastfeeding her. I tandem nursed for 3 months. Then she was done. So my son is now 16 months old and a little more independent, still breastfeeding. I managed to get down to 132 and was really happy about that, but my thyroid is acting up and I’m back up to 139-140. It seems that my waist line and other measurements are going up .5 inch as well. I’m going to see my midwife on Thursday to discuss some things. I have been exercising and eating well and gaining weight. Very discouraging! It all started to go downhill after my father passed away in November 2010. I just started to wear my pedometer yesterday and I will be trying to walk 10,000+ steps a day and see if that helps.
I have always been very self conscious, it is so hard. I love having children and watching my body grow, but hate having to fit for it back :) Our plan is for me to get back into shape and start trying for our next in a couple months if God is willing!
Photo 1- 7 weeks pregnant with 3rd pregnancy
Photo 2- 41 weeks pregnant day of induction
Photo 3- 16 months postpartum
Photo 4- 16 months postpartum
Scared Mother 25 Weeks (Mini)
~Age: 19
~Number of Pregnancies: 1st One
This is my first pregnancy and I have always been a little bit self concious. I do everthing I can to make sure after birth I have my good body again far as jogging and applying lotion on my stomach. I kind of scared. All that matters is that I have a HEALTHY baby boy really. But what else can I do to get tha flat stomach?
22 and 2 Kids Later (Jenny)
My children are definately the best things to ever happen to me. I first got pregnant right before my 19th birthday and had a beautiful 8 lb baby boy. Before i got pregnant i only weighed 97 lbs and ended up 139 lbs when i gave birth. After i had him it didnt take too long to get back into shape. Everything went back to normal, other than a few strtch marks but nothing major. I could not have been happier. Then at 21 i got pregnant again. I was a little worried this time things wouldnt go back the same. I started this pregnancy out at 105 lbs and ended at 132 lbs. I gained less weight but my belly was so big. Then on August 31th 2010 i gave birth to another beautiful boy. This one only weighing 7 lbs 10 oz. Even though i am only 4 months pp things are not going back the same. I actually only weigh 98 lbs right now but my stomach is horrible. I dont know if you can fix wrinkled skin. Its something im having a very hard time dealing with. My fiance cares alot about appearence and even though he says it doesnt bother him, i feel like it does. Which makes me not want him to look at me naked. I’m glad i found this site. It has helped me feel alot better about myself and enough so that i wated to share my story. Maybe hearing strangers opinions might help. Thanks,
Age- 22
Number of pregnancies and births- 2
Age of children- 2 ( will be 3 in march) and 4 months
Post Partum- 4 months
1st picture- Pregnant with first child
2nd picture- After first child. About a year PP
3rd picture- Pregnant with second child
4th picture- Before children
5th picture- Now, 4 month PP
Fourth Baby, Mixed Feelings (Elizabeth)
I am 28 weeks pregnant with my forth child, I never thought I would have a forth child. I met a man a year ago who I really fell for after being alone for 2 and a half years after a bad relationship.I was even going to marry him last September. A few weeks after I found out I was pregnant I called off the wedding. I had a gut feeling something was not right. He was not making sense sometimes and I felt like he was hiding something. I just found out two weeks ago that everything this man had ever told me was a lie. We have had no contact since. I don’t mind raising another child on my own, I have done pretty well with the three I have. I am concerned because this is the second time in a row that I became involved with a bad person. I feel like I should have learned. I am also concerned about my children not having fathers. My first two children were with my ex husband, who is terminally ill. he was diagnosed a year ago with colon cancer, which has since spread to his liver and lungs. It’s one of the scariest things I have ever dealt with, and we are taking it one day at a time. My children starting spending half their time with him this school year, and I miss them terribly when they aren’t here, but I know they want to be with him, and he deserves to see them as much as possible. My 3rd baby’s father was accused of molesting his step daughter from a pervious marriage, and I felt like I had no choice but to ask for supervised visitation, but he stopped going when she was 11 months old so she doesn’t know him. She is now three. I don’t know what is going to happen with the baby I am carrying and her father. He is a pathological liar, his other 2 children are being taken away, he is mentally unstable and I am scared of him.. I am still in shcok and very hurt and confused, but I have three beautiful children to keep me going. I feel very blessed for them.
I love all of my children with all of my heart. I want what is best for them. I feel like I would like to meet a nice man someday, but I have terrible luck in that department, and I am scared to take anymore chances for a long time. I am already very self conscious about my body from carrying 4 babies, and from being psychologically abused by my ex. I feel like I better just stay away from men, and enjoy my kids while they are with me, I know they grow so fast, my oldest is almost 14.
I like photography and I took this photo myself with my cameras self timer. I like this picture, the lighting is flattering and it made me feel a little better about myself. I wanted to share it, I love this site. I have posted 2 times before but the posts have been lost.
Updated here.
Trying Not To Be Sad, But I Just Can’t Help It (Anonymous)
Age:22
1pregnancy/1birth
4 weeks PP
I was 21 when I found out I
was pregnant. The father & I had only been serious for about 6 months at the time, but he being 6 years older than me was ready to settle down & took the news better than I did. I never had a perfect body by any means, I am 5’4″ and fluctuated between 125-145 ever since I was 15 years old. I was just like any other girl my age and hated my body. Now looking back, I would pay any amount of money to have it again. I was a 36C and thought my boobs were saggy. Haha!! I clearly did not know the meaning. When I first found out I thought since I was so young I would gain the minimum amount of weight and I’d bounce right back to prepregnancy size.
Boy was I wrong!
On 11/18/2010 I went to my weekly check up (I was 38 weeks pregnant) Everything went just like any of the other appointments I had had. I was weighed, and at this point had gained exactly 40lbs. (putting me at 174) I got my cervix checked for dilation & was still 2cm which I had been for the past month. They asked me the normal questions… ‘have you felt the baby move today?’ and not really thinking anything of it I replied ‘no not yet today, she generally sleeps until about 4pm’ well, the doctor did not like the sounds of that. He sent me right over to the hospital where I was hooked up to all the monitors. They explained to me that I could choose to be induced but since my body technically wasn’t ready to give birth yet and given the size of the baby (according to my ultrasounds she was already about 9lbs) that there would be an 80% chance I would end up needing an emergency c-section. So I chose to just go ahead with the cesarean. At 11:47 that evening Kenleigh Madison was born at 8lbs9oz & 20 1/2 inches long. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on.
The recovery from the surgery really wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. I was up and walking 12 hours later and only ended up staying in the hospital for a total of 2 days.
Now I’m stuck staring in the mirror at this, for lack of a better word, this mess.
All the extra weight just sits around my mid section, my love handles, my ponch. Looking at myself truly grosses me out. I can’t fit into any of my clothes and it’s so frustrating because it’s literally just the one area. My legs and arms and face all shrunk back immediately. And the stretch marks under my belly button are so awful & painful the sight of them brings tears to my eyes. Even my belly button is twice it’s normal size! I wish I had at least tried to give birth vaginally, because I fear I will never be able to lose the baggage due to damage that has been done to my abdominal muscles. The scar itself doesn’t bother me, it’s low enough that it’s easily hidden. But everything else about my stomach is a nightmare. & my boobs!! I’m 22 and now have the breasts of a 40 year old. I just fear that my boyfriend will lose interest. If not because of my body, than because of my lack of confidence. And I just can’t help it. We’ve talked about marriage before & during my pregnancy and I’m afraid that now that he sees what my body looks like that he will think twice and not propose.
The pictures I’ve included are:
1)my body prepregnancy
2) about 9 months pregnant
3) the 1st time I held my beautiful baby girl
4) Kenleigh a day old
5&6) my body 4weeks PP
7) my scar
Update Baby #2 (Anonymous)
Previous entries here and here.
Since my last entry I have had another baby! My little girl was born 4 days early so that was exciting for us and she weighed 7 lbs 4 oz. With my first pregnancy I gained 55 pounds and found it took alot of hard work to get my body back. This time I worked out my entire pregnancy and ate super healthy. I gained 21 pounds the second time around. My body really snapped back super quick this time so that was nice! It was a bit of an adjustment at first going from one child to two children, but things are going super well now! My son loves being a big brother and my little girl is getting so chubby already. Below is a picture of my belly at 39 weeks pregnant and another picture at 12 days post partum. I am now 7 weeks post partum and pretty much look and weigh the same as I did 12 days after giving birth.
Thanks to all the other moms for sharing your stories! And thank you Bonnie for creating this website. I have been coming to it for years now and I think it’s absolutely amazing and inspiring to all women, :)
Sady
AGE:25
1 CHILD, 1 BIRTH, 14 MONTHS
when i first became pregnant the first thing i worried about was the fetus, as the pregnancy went on i worried about the high dose of vitamin A i was taking, then I worried about the low dose of folic acid i was consuming, then i worried about my small “bump”, then i worried about too much movement, not enough movement, fetal alcohol syndrom, if somehow i could give birth to an african american child and have no explanation since the father is Jewish, then i worried about dehydration, then i worried about losing amniotic fluid, THEN i wondered, “HOLY CRAP, what if my body never regains shape, and my vagina is forever a huge black hole, and my uterus falls out of my vagina after birth”. this is when i stumbled across this magnificent website. i saw bodies changed, i saw bodies unchanged, but what i’ve seen most of is how this whole process turn one woman into SUPER WOMAN, this is why i stay less focused on the actual shape i’m in and more focused on how much in shape i actually am, 20lbs over weight or 20lbs underweight, damn i am in shape, my mind has endured over a year of sleep deprivation, my breasts have been bitten and pulled like a chew toy, my sexual drive has gone from wow till null, till wow till null. and after all this i have more respect for mothers than ever imagined. and the shape im in is fantastic, its that of a mother. im sharing pictures, but tis less besides the point to me as ive stated. and when time are rough and your down on yourself just remember to give yourself time to heal, it take a full 18 months to fully recover form a pregnancy, honestly, breastfeed if you have the choice and enjoy your new family
The Guilt of Hating a Body That Birthed an Angel (Amanda)
It has only been three and a half weeks since I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. I should be applauding myself and my body for being able to create such a perfect angel, and yet I am not. Instead I find myself hating the mirror because the mirror shows what I look like now. Huge and covered in stretch marks. Three years ago I weighed 100lbs and even back then the voice in my head said I was fat. Now I find myself three weeks post pregnancy sitting at 160lbs; can you imagine what that voice is saying now?
It is hard being a mother. A lot harder than I imagined. I have bigger things to worry about other than how huge my belly and ass are, but yet those thoughts take hold every time I look down or look in the mirror. I try to tell myself “it took nine months to get this way, give yourself eighteen months to get back from here” but it doesn’t work. I feel like I have lost all my hotness and all of my youth. I dread the idea of having anyone see me naked ever again. I hope this feeling doesn’t last.
I am told by fellow moms that “this too shall pass”, that this body will not sag forever. The stretch marks will fade and one day my skin will regain its elasticity. I hope this is not a lie. I hope these friends are being honest because, right now, I can’t imagine loving this new body. I always thought I would be the kind of woman who ‘bounced back” from pregnancy. Some silly idea planted in my head by TV and the movies. How come those women never stay fat? Where is their extra weight? Why can’t we all live in that fantasy land?
Reality isn’t as pleasant.
I feel like admitting this makes me sound ungrateful and like a “bad mother”. I really love my daughter and feel blessed that I had the ability to create her. I just hate that I had to give up something so important to me in order to do it. I guess that makes me selfish. I guess I am not “seeing the big picture”. This is reality. I can love my daughter but I do not have to love what happened to my body to make her. So why the guilt? Why do I feel guilty every time I think of how horrible I look?
And why do I think this is a horrible way to look?
I wish I could be one of those moms who adore her stretch marks and sagging belly. The ones who claim “it is their badge”… of what? Honour? Strength? The ability to make a baby is great but I don’t need my body to remind me that I did it, that is what my child is for.
Time heals all wounds. I hope time also heals all post pregnancy bodies.
I am 28 and this is my first and hopefully last pregnancy.
The photos are my belly before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and three weeks post pregnancy.
Updated here.
Will it ever get better? (Anonymous)
My biggest body-related fear once I became pregnant was stretch marks. I oiled and lotioned my belly as often as I could. I was hopeful that I’d escape stretch marks altogether because my mother never got one throughout her six pregnancies. And I almost made it. Around 37 weeks they started to appear. A few purplish-red marks below my belly button. I slathered on the vitamin e oil, as if it wasn’t too late. My husband came home that day and I told him “I think I’m getting stretch marks” and burst into tears. Why did I care so much?
Then it got worse. The marks spread upward and outward until my belly was covered. And I got smaller ones on the sides of my stomach/waist as well. I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do to stop them, and my belly was still growing. I started Googling tips and tricks until I couldn’t stand to look at the computer screen for another second.
Up until that point I had loved my pregnant belly. It was nice and round and beautiful. Now I wouldn’t even let my husband see it, let alone look at it myself.
My beautiful baby boy was born a few weeks later and I couldn’t bear to look at my stomach in the mirror in the days that followed. When I finally did get a glimpse, the stretch marks had become all loose and saggy, and seemed to cover even more of me now that my stomach had shrunken down.
It makes me so mad. Mad that there was nothing I could do to stop it. Mad that so many women seem to get through pregnancy without getting any. Most of all, mad that I cared so much about what I looked like. After all, I had a beautiful, healthy baby – something I had always, always wanted – so what should I have to complain about?
Don’t get me wrong. He is absolutely worth it. I don’t even really associate my baby with my new body. He is this perfect, wonderful gift that has made my life better in every way. I just feel like my body has somehow failed me.
Almost 3 months later, and it’s not any better. My stomach is still covered in dark stretch marks. And it doesn’t stop there. My breasts – which I used to love – are now big and saggy, and my stomach is loose and jiggly. Despite the fact that by my 6-week post-partum checkup I was back to my pre-pregnacy weight, my body is nowhere near what it used to be. My clothes all look weird and unflattering. I had thought that losing the weight would be the hard part. No, the hard part is realizing that my body, regardless of how much weight I lose, will never, ever be the same. And I just don’t know if I’ll ever be happy with it again. I can’t even fathom ever putting on the bikini I wore on my honeymoon just over a year ago.
My husband still tells me that I’m beautiful and sexy, and I love him for it, but I simply can’t believe him. I don’t think he’s even seen me naked since I gave birth – if he has, it was by accident. It’s hard to want to be intimate with him when I’m so unhappy with how I look. Not just unhappy, but actually embarrassed. I’m embarrassed about my body.
I guess what really bothers me is that I feel like I can’t do anything to fix it. I’m 26 and I feel like my body is ruined forever. And what about my next pregnancy – will it get even worse? That scares me too.
Until then I continue to do sit-ups, watch what I eat, and buy all those expensive stretch mark creams. Still waiting for it to somehow get better…
Photos:
#1 – pre-pregnancy
#2 – 40 weeks pregnant
#3&4 – just under 3 months post-partum
~Age: 26
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months
