Postpartum

My Story (Marie)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 36 Comments

Hi, I’m Marie. I have a 5 year old daughter. I’m a single mom since my husband left me, and I’ve been single and celibate for 5 years now. I would love to remarry and have a companion, a lover, and a father-figure for my daughter. But I am so insecure and ashamed of my post-pregnancy body that I refuse to get close to any guy, refuse to be seen naked, heaven forbid try to have sex. I know I should be more mature than this, and less shallow when it comes to physical beauty, but for 5 years I’ve been ashamed of my body and I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling ugly and unworthy because of it.

I got countless stretch marks during pregnancy. My belly is covered from belly button all the way down to where pubic hair starts. My hips and thighs and upper buttocks are covered in stretch marks, too. My breasts as well, covered, and even the backs of my calves. The deepest ones are on my belly and breasts. If I stand far away in good lighting you can’t see them, because they’ve faded mostly white, and my skin is fair. But They are still deep, and countless. I also have some looseness of skin on my belly and my breast’s skin is not as taut as it was before pregnancy. My breasts themselves also became lower and “empty” feeling immediately following pregnancy/end of breast feeding. So I feel like my breasts are pretty saggy for my age and the fact that I’ve only had one child.
I didn’t know what to expect with pregnancy. Nobody told me about stretch marks or loose skin or abdominal muscles tearing, etc, etc. I didn’t know about vitamin E oil and that it can/might/sometimes helps/prevents/reduces/softens stretch marks and loose skin acquired during pregnancy. I feel horrible that I did not oil myself, as one is supposed to, during pregnancy. I feel like if I had, then maybe I would not have gotten stretch marks and loose skin, maybe my breasts would have stayed more taut, maybe it would have just reduced the number and/or severity of my stretch marks and loose skin..but it’s obviously too late now, and I’ll never know. Now I feel like since 1. my body is ruined and 2. it is my fault that it is ruined that 1. I am ugly and 2. unworthy of a husband/lover/additional pregnancies.

I’ve included some photos of myself, but remember that the resolution is so poor that my deep stretch marks do not really show. I don’t have a good camera, only a webcam with fuzzy resolution. But hopefully some of the loose skin and breast sagginess is visible enough to prove the legitimacy of my concerns. Trust me, you can’t see my stretchmarks in the pics, but they are deep and countless and all over my body.

My Body After Two Kids (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 6 Comments

I’m 37, and my girls are aged 5 and 2.

I was worried with each of my pregnancies that I would find it hard to get back in shape; or that my body would be radically changed. You go through so many changes when you’re pregnant that it’s hard to see how you will ever go back to normal. But, I came out of it ok. I try to exercise whenever I can, even it its just taking the girls for a walk or doing sit ups in front of TV. I used to go to weights class but had such bad pubis symphasis pain that I don’t want to do the heavy squats and lunges anymore; I feel a twinge of the pain in my pelvis whenever I have to out my back into pushing something, like a heavy door or piece of furniture. With my second girl I had a caesarian, I have a small ridge just above my pubic bone but it is nothing too bad. For various medical reasons I will have an elective section if we have a third child, and I wonder what the effect of a second section will do to my tummy.

I used this site when I was pregnant to seek reassurance, and I hope this give some reassurance back to other mums. I’ve included a picture of me the day before I went into labour with my second.

Apart from the pelvic pain, the main change has been to my breasts. They are not as large or full as they were – I feel like the bloom has gone off them! I breastfed noth my girls til they were two though, so some change is to be expected.

Wrecked (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, VBAC 4 Comments

I got pregnant at 17 years old and I was in a boarding school that ate processed food breakfast, lunch and dinner. I gained 80lbs during that pregnancy that ended in a completely unnecessary c-section. I looked at my body after I gave birth, at only 17 years old was so depressed. I didn’t even have a choice to be healthy and maybe prevent the stretching and weight gain. I felt raped. I couldn’t imagine ever finding anybody that wouldn’t be completely grossed out by the stretch marks on my stomach, legs, and breasts. It was so hard for me to accept for so many years.

As I got older and made more mommy friends, got married, and gained more experience I realized, 4 children later (by the age of 23) that I would rather have my hands full (with all those ugly stretch marks and saggy skin and major diastasis) than to have them empty. I have a husband that loves all of me and 4 perfect kids (two VBA2C babies at home!). A body is just a body. I hate that our society has made them so much more important than our minds and our contributions to society. I have yet to find a stomach that is more wrecked than mine! But that’s ok! Those kids of mine were more than worth it!

AGE: 25
two years postpartum. 5 pregnancies (ages 8,6,4,2), 4 births

Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, 5+ Years Postpartum, Adoption, Child Loss, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Previous post here.

I have a incredible update to my story. My son I gave up for adoption well his dad and I got married. We got reunited with our son on our wedding day. He and his family was at our wedding. His adoptive parents are amazing my son is now 22 and I have never been happier. I have learned through all of my life experiences that everything happens for a reason and there is a plan for each thing we face in life whether it be bad or good. I have never felt sexier, more beautiful, and complete in all my life. I will always greive for the loss of my baby but know that someday I will be reunited with him. These pics were taken just a month ago. I believe that when you love yourself love will find you. My body is not perfect no where close to perfect there are things I wish were different but I know that every flaw I see is part of the beauty in my life. Each stretch mark each grey hair and the well not perfectly toned body is all part of being a mom. One of the greatest gifts in the world. I am going to be 39 here real soon and am embracing my age and my life. I encourage all of you to love yourself you become a better lover, a better mom, a better wife/girlfriend. When you love yourself your truly able to give all of you to the ones you love

Crazy Boobs (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

My breasts were always a bit different, one was a tiny bit bigger than the other, you’d have to be real close or touch them to feel the difference, but since I gave birth a year ago, it completely changed. I tried breastfeeding my daugther but it never really worked. I breastfed her for a week before switching to formula saving both her health and my mental health (I was a crying mess, feeling guilty and unworthy), I don’t regret this choice, breastfeeding is beautiful but not possible for all woman and it’s ok. Only my right breast (the ”biggest” one) produced milk, the other one was dry. I believe this is what gave my breast this look. I’m crying as I look at the pictures. Prior to giving birth I was a confident woman, I’ve never being thin, I’m a bit chunky and I like that, my husband also and I was felt super confortable around him. But it changed. Although he’s never said anything about my breasts I feel ashamed and so ugly. I hate them. I always wear a sport bra because it keeps them flat and the size different doesn’t show to much. I sleep with the bra on sometimes, because when my arm brush past the ”biggest” one it makes me cry. We want to have another child but it scares me that my breasts will get even more weird after an other pregnancy. I’d like to get surgery, just to reduce the size of the big one…

I’m lucky, I didn’t get stretch marks (some on my tummy but they faded real fast) and although still a bit big my belly doesn’t make me sad so much. My tits however…

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancy, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: a year

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Round 2…. as the bell dings in my head im prepared to fight, unfortunately, my inner self on what most of us on here know as that little voice that says, ” your body is ruined now…look at all those stretch marks…do my boobs really hang that low…how is that even possible?” yes that dreaded post partum voice. It isn’t easy to get on here and to share how I really feel deep down.. that dark inner part of me I don’t want anyone to see. Because then they would see just how much I hate myself. Im scared of what this second pregnancy will bring..how many more stretch marks will I have..how much more will my boobs sag..will I have a stomach that will forever hang=??? I know it isn’t healthy and the thought of letting my loved ones in enough to see this hurt would worry them and why let others hurt along with me? This isnt their battle…so instead I will just share anon on here with all you beautiful woman. Whats sad is I look on here I get frustrated with these posts..I say to myself..”She has no reason to hate herself ..that body is beautiful..one of a womans!!” but who am I to say what these woman should hate or not? Lol not only do I have a deep self hate but clearly I am a pretty big hypocrite …(by now yall are probably thinking this woman shouldn’t be left to care for anyone lol) but all joking aside this website is my rock..well aside From God..i guess I should say my rock of selfishness, since im only focusing so hard on the outside. This is my pregnant body…I love it one day..hate it just the next.. I love the little life inside that im holding but hate the outside appearance and scared I will forever be a fat stretched saggy lump of skin that will turn away my husband to a greener (hotter) pasture. So with all this being said Thank you!! Tahnk you to everyone who has ever posted on here and the biggest thank you to woman who created it!!

Age : 25
Pregnancies : 2
Oldest child age : 6
Current pics right now are 6 months pregnant..

first one was CS and I will be having a CS with the second.

I Feel Like They Can’t Be Fixed (Adria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Body Dysmorphic Disroder, Body Image, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

20 (age)
Pregnancies (1)
8 months post partum by cesarean.

When i first became pregnant, during my first trimester i lost 20 pounds. Than the rest of my pregnancy i only gained 10 pounds. After i delivered i then lost 25 more. This is what alot of people would call “bouncing back” and yes in some ways i did. Two weeks after delivery i could fit back into my pre pregnancy clothing. 3 months after delivery though i developed a condition called body dysmorphic disorder, it took over my life to the piont of suicide. At around the same piont my husband wanted to leave because he couldnt understand why i felt so horrible about myself, he got tired of trying to help but with no results. Ne never left though he stuck by my side and continued to try, much to my appreciation. If it wernt for him i wouldnt be here to write this post today. I went to counciling and i am no where near as down as i was thankfully. With exersize i got some of my old form back. The only thing hindering me from total and complete love for my self again is my breasts, they make me sick. To rememeber what they used to be and what they are now is dissapionting. I weigh 118 pounds now, i think im ok with the rest of my body now. I still have my days i just hope one day that i can accept the changes my son did to my body and any future children as well. Included is a picture of my handsom son, hes keeping me going :)

Updated here.

What Pregnancy Has Done (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 22
Children: 1 Child, 7 months old

Like most young ladies, I struggled with body image. It was the most severe when I was in middle school and my doctor made a comment about my weight being high. I was only 124 pounds, which was a healthy weight for my height. I ripped myself apart for the longest time. When I was 20, I met my husband. I weighed 120 pounds, at 5’2″. I knew I looked good, but I didn’t feel it. We planned our pregnancy and successfully conceived one month after we married. I embraced pregnancy because I finally had a reason to look bloated! I loved it so much, we are planning on a second pregnancy already.

I gained 20 pounds while I was pregnant, which is slightly below the 25-35 pounds of weight gain that is recommended for my body type. I was on track to gain 25-35, but I stopped gaining weight at 28 weeks because I lost my appetite. My baby boy, Finn, was born at 38 weeks and 1 day, weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces. I didn’t get a single stretch mark and my body snapped right back into shape. My friends called me a freak of nature and my neighbor told me that I am the kind of woman that other women hate.

Now, at 7 months postpartum, I am 5’2″ and 115 pounds. I have never been in better shape, and not only that, I’ve never had so much self confidence! There is nothing I did to get where I am today. I did not exercise during pregnancy or after pregnancy and I do not eat very well. I honestly believe that breastfeeding may even have had something to do with it.
My breastfeeding story is interesting, to say the least. I breastfed until Finnegan was 3 weeks old, completely stopped for 8 weeks, and decided to relactate when he was 10 weeks old. I pumped around the clock, took every supplement and drug I could get my hands on, and regained a full supply and our exclusively breastfeeding relationship within one month. My weight plateaued for a while until I relactated, when I lost an additional 5 pounds.

I feel like I get a lot of scrutiny because of my figure. People tell me that it isn’t fair or that it’s wrong. I believe that every woman has a shape, this just happens to be mine, and mine just happens to be one that society favors. Unfortunately that makes the women who have naturally different shapes feel that they are doing something wrong, or that they are not beautiful. All woman are beautiful, though! All mothers are beautiful. Every body is amazing. Just look at what you did with it; look at who you made. :) Pregnancy and childbirth are the most spectacular experience and the most incredible thing I have ever done!

The photos I have posted are of myself at full-term while pregnant with Finn, myself at 7 months postpartum, and my bouncing baby boy! Thank you for reading.

Embrace Your Body! (Mrs. Roussell)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Children: 1
6 months Pp

Previous post here.

My First Post was at 4 week pp and I felt horrible about my body..I was constantly comparing my body to other mothers but I now realize every woman Is different and as we get older our bodies change. It’s up to me to change my attitude along with my body!! I have diastasis recti so I can’t do traditional abdominal work outs so I still have a pouch..to solve that problem I bought spanx :-), my weight is between 125-129..my Pre pregnancy weight was 123 so I can fit most of my old clothes but my boobs are still huge and my hips are wider…I’ve embraced my curves…my message to all new moms is as time goes on your body will change..EMBRACE IT..appreciate your body for what it is…it made a HUMAN!

070313-mrsroussell-1

Still Look 5 Months Pregnant After C-Section (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Diastasis Recti, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 14 Comments

I gave birth to my beautiful twin boy/girl via c section in January this year (2013). When I was pregnant I didn’t give much thought to what I would look like afterwards. I put on 2 1/2 stone whilst pregnant and all my weight was on my stomach, it was huge as you can imagine with two in there, I could barely move at the end.

After I left the hospital I also left with a very pregnant looking belly which I wasn’t expecting, 5 months on it has gone down loads but I still have a very poochy looking belly. I believe this is down to disastis recti. I have been doing exercises to try and strengthen my core and walk nearly every day with the buggy but my belly still stays the same, will it ever loose the roundness?? It has been this size for a while now and just doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller.

I was very lucky that I didn’t get any stretch marks but I would swap this belly for a few tiger stripes :(

Please excuse my mismatched underwear lol!

Age – 36
No. of Pregnancies – 1 (Twins)
Age of Children – 5 Months
Post Partrum – 5 Months