Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement

Thank You, Babies (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 2 Comments

These are my previous posts:
2 Babies Later
Update
Second Update
Love Youself, Mama, Then Love Everything Else

Age: 22
# of Pregnancies: 3
# of Births: 2
-Rayden 8lbs 4oz 21 inches Dec 12, 2005
-Cairo Sofia 8lbs 7oz 21 inches June 23, 2009
How far PP: 12 Months

This is technically my 4th update, but my 5th post. It is officially 1 year post partum from having my last child, as of June 23rd. It’s definitely an accomplishment but also a moment of realization. I am no longer going to have babies in my house! I have done what my body was designed to do for 2 beautiful children, and now I can go on with watching them grow and become beautiful and amazing people. This brings me more joy than I can put into words. They are gorgeous and brilliant children that I am thankful for every day, every single day.

But now onto myself and the accomplishments I have personally gained. I have learnt to love my body, whether it is “flawed” or not. I love my body. It is beautiful and shows what hard work I
have put into having my children (BIG children at that, especially for my tiny stature of 4’11”!). After my first child, Rayden, now 4 ½ years old, I hated my body. I hated what pregnancy had done to my body and I didn’t dare look at myself nude. However, I was only 18 when he was born. Image was everything and the “right” image were those portrayed through magazines and such.

But once becoming pregnant with my 2nd and last child, Cairo Sofia, 1 year as of June 23, I all of a sudden adored my body. I loved looking at myself knowing I had another child growing inside of me. I would trace my stretch marks and embrace my loose skin. For whatever reason, I had a realization that my body was Beautiful. It is amazing and can do remarkable things that seem so bizarre.

Now that I look at myself at the 1 Year Milestone, I love myself even more. I love myself from the inside out. I am beautiful. My children are beautiful. And I would like to thank them for helping me to see true beauty. Thank you for allowing me to accept myself, “flaws” and all, but no longer view them as “flaws”. Because if it weren’t for the “flaws” you 2 beautiful children would not be here, gracing my life every day!

Thank You Babies!

Updated here.

The P90X Experiment (Mary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 13 Comments

Original post here.
Website: https://slowthisridedown.blogspot.com/

When I wrote “Mirror, Mirror on the wall….Who’s the Most Damaged Mother of them All?” last year I thought that was the end of my journey in accepting my body…little did I know it was just the beginning! I submitted my article to SOAM in February and it was posted on March 9th, a hard day for our family as it’s the anniversary of the death of our niece and nephew, but all the beautiful comments to the article made the day much brighter, thank you!

Over the past few months I’ve been shocked over and over by…how I really do NOT hate my body anymore! It’s a hard feeling to get used to that’s for sure. And I think that loving who you are makes it easier to let go and stick with a healthier lifestyle (for me anyways, I know all mothers are different)…because you know you deserve to treat yourself better. Since I wasn’t depressed about my body I stopped binge eating and had more energy to work out. I even started going to the gym, something I had been too embarrassed to do before, which brought on a whole new appreciation of my body as I watched it change shape once again. My gym is closed for the summer so for the next few months I am attempting to do P90X and I’m blogging about it so that other mothers can follow along and see if it’s the right program for them. The neat thing is that my hubby is doing it with me! 2 years ago I would have never been comfortable enough with my body to huff and puff half naked in front of him but now there is no embarrassment and we are having so much fun working out each night!

This site is amazing and I love how it’s changing so many minds about beauty. A year ago I would have died of embarrassment if anyone had saw one of my stretchmarks….and now I wear a sports bra while I work out and hope that everyone sees them so that they will start to think of them as normal on a mother!

Age: 29
Births: Three
Children: 12, 10, 4

Photos:
1. Me, one year ago.
2. My belly, before I started working out a few months ago.
3. Me today, 50 pounds lighter.
4. My belly today!
5. I love this photo because I think that the stretchmark that is showing is so beautiful.

A letter to my body 1 yr PP (Emily)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Reader's Favorite, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Uncategorized, Update 18 Comments

Age: 23
1 pregnancy, son is 12 months old, 1 yr PP

Dear body,
Thank you for all that you have given me and others. I am sorry for what I used to think of you, I was wrong you are beautiful. I promise to never be ashamed of my body anymore. I promise to love this body and treat it with respect for the rest of my life. I promise to be PROUD of my belly, my breasts, my scars. I created and brought a life into this world and so far have nourished that life with only my body. I am too insignificant to realize the gift god gave me by making me a woman. I am a creator of life and beauty, I do not have to look like a bikini model to be happy. I am a mother, like the earth with hills and valleys. I love you body!!!!

Love Yourself Mama, Then Love Everything Else (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 23 Comments

Why is it, that as women, when we are at our best, we look into ourselves and label it the “worst”?
We never seem to realize how great we are until we fall below that bar that we have set so ridiculously high for ourselves!
It is sad to see, hear, and live. And all it seems to do is cause shame and the sense of unworthiness.
And why?
Because we are not a size 0? Because we have stretch marks here, there, and every where? Because we have that last inch or more of skin that has decided it has lost all elasticity and would rather droop down then suck back up and give us a smooth, T.V. worthy tummy? Because our once perky, teenage breasts now have that motherly sag?
Because we lose our cool and yell? Because once in a while we spend an extra 5 minutes in the shower just to avoid the inevitable screaming, crying, and fighting children? Because sometimes we skip on sweeping the floors because 4 times a day just seems like enough some days? Because after making breakfast, changing diapers, doing 6 loads of laundry, plugging your ears during screaming fits, not to mention trying to make something worthy of eating for dinner, we would rather just sit on the couch for a solid 5 minutes of silence? Because, yes, we do break down and instead of stopping the children from crying, we just join them?
And because we do all these things, and have the “imperfect” yet, perfectly beautiful bodies, we feel shame and unworthiness? When did the image of a mother’s body, no matter the age, go from a natural woman, stretch marked and sagged, to an air brushed, breast implanted, and stretch mark free woman?
I want to know, because the exact millisecond this took place, women lost their pride and self esteem, and all I want is for all the women and mommies out there, to have that back.
It saddens me to read of women that are ashamed and misplaced mentally, to read stories of women that are mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by husbands, family, and friends, because they are no longer beautiful, because their bodies have become “tainted” all because we have brought beautiful gifts from God into this world.
What is our world coming to?
Why are women only perfect in magazines, and then expected to portray that on a day to day basis, and if that is not possible, then we might as well cover head to toe so no one witnesses the damaged bodies?
I love myself, 20 lbs heavier, 10 lbs lighter, skin a little looser, skin a little darker, a few less stretch marks ago… this is who I am. And I hope you can love yourself too, because that is what we are meant to do: Love ourselves. If we can do that, than we can do anything.

060210-bryana-1

Updated here.

Living For So Much (Natalia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 15 Comments

Age: 20
Pregnancies/births: 3 pregnancies/ 1 birth
Number of children: 1 son, Ronin, age 2

I found out I was pregnant when I was 17, which truly caught me by suprise. I know I wasn’t on birth control, but we used a condom every time. Could it be possible I was the 1% that the condom didn’t work for?? Lame right? Well to be honest, part of me was really excited to have a baby! I know I was young, but my heart and my mind said this was right. After making it through a kidney infection 10 weeks in, everything went smoothly and I was getting closer to my home water birth. During that time, I got stretch marks in ungodly places…places I thought to myself “you can really get them THERE??”. My breast size…went from a 32A to a 34DD. Crazy right? I actually got some tiger stripes on the back of my calves too! But the exstacy I felt when I was able to hold my son right after birth….washed away all those thoughts of my changing body. He diminished all my innercomplaints of the ever expanding butt and feet I thought of. He is 2 now, and I have to say, trying to bounce back was hard, and I’m not even fully where I dream of being. But quite frankly, I don’t give a darn. I say hurrah for mothers! Hurrah for tiger stripes! Together we stand, an army of life! The flabby skin, the not so tight areas…the dark nipples and sagging boobs…the dimpled buttcheeks and wider hips. This all just proclaims that we, yes we, have used what god gave us! I’m ready for more and more children. I know what lays ahead for my body, but that is the least of my concerns. I congradulate all mothers on this site. And I wish everyone the best of luck and love. Keep on skipping along mommies, and know that you have an army of us with you :-) Peace out

pic#1…..7 months preggo
pic#2…..3 weeks postpartum
pic#3……now
pic#4……now
pic#5……now

Updated here.

Loving What Is (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions 9 Comments

I am a sexual abuse victim. I lost a baby at 16 weeks when I was only 16 years old. I have had many years of self loathing. I can still here the ridiculing comments that were made about my body. I was ugly,dirty,the defect. When I saw what other women looked like

I drew this illusion that I was in fact the defective one. How is one to heal from something like this? When I became pregnant the second time I gained 80 pounds and was 218 and stretched my skin out everywhere. It took me a year but I lost most of that weight only to become pregnant shortly after. With my third child I gained 45 pounds plus the 20 that I still hadn’t lost. Again this took my another year but I lost the weight and got back down under my pre- pregnancy weight of 140. By this time I felt like I was completely ruined. Whose body was this? It is not mine? I hated myself completely. Then I found myself pregnant again for the fourth time. This time I only gained 35 pounds. I lost it quickly. I now run 2 miles everyday. I am doing this for me and me only. It has taken a long time and I am still working on it but I am now comfortable with my body. I can look in the mirror and say “Wow you are amazing,beautiful and you have given birth to three beautiful children.”

I remember that I am not this body. This is not who I am. I am the spirit that lives inside. I can shine through this body and make it radiate with energy. I am the woman that sings to my children , I am the girl that runs out in the rain and plays, I am me and I have to except that . Love yourself. You are what is important.

Age:27
Number of pregnancies and births : 4
Ages of children: 8,5,2

Beauty in the Battle (Kara)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions 1 Comment

25
3 Pregnancies, 2 Birth
Girls ages 6 & 4
Longing for another soon & 1 more shortly after

My body looks as though I was attached by wild Tigers, shredded on my breats, abdomen, back, butt & thighs But i find beauty in my Battle Scars, its the beauty of growing precious cargo. However it took a lot for me to really see it. Even went through a Breast Augmentation & Divorce! But ya know it was hard being a 22 (at the time of my BA) years old with 80 yr old boobs…. When you have the skin for DD but the material for an A it’s just not a comfortable feeling or look. ( Plus when you have a cheating, lying husband you’ll do anything to feel better, am I right?!)

A lot of why I feel I never saw the beauty in my “beast” of a body was because I feel I was always trying to fit my mothers demons, she never took very good care of her body and & she is an obese woman, I never wanted that. Then my ex-husband who still to this day haunts me about my weight, figure, workouts, eating habits… But as long as I AM HAPPY then what does it matter what other people say?

My other encouragement with my body & how I handle it… My Daughters… I want to be the greatest possible example & try to promote what I don’t feel I ever had, encouraging, supportive, body image role models! I want my girls to feel comfortable in their skin, to love their bodies for what they are & to do their best not to compare to others. I’m already fighting those battles as my 6 year old recently decided she is fat at a whooping 40lbs & didn’t want to eat for 2 days.

Wish me Luck & remember how YOU look at your body & treat it is going to reflect on your daughters or any little girl who watches you in the future.

Screw the Media & Hello BODY LOVING MAMA’S!

Big Tee & Little Tee (Tee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
Age of child: 5

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and I was scared to death. I was a junior in college, my boyfriend (now husband) was stationed in another state and neither of us knew anything about babies. We had tons of support from our family and without them I can’t imagine what kind of shape we’d have been in. I was about 115 when I got pregnant and gained 65 pounds during the pregnancy. My mom told me not to worry about it “you’re young-you’ll bounce right back!” After 19 hours of labor, a swift bikini cut and a few stitches, we met our brand new 10 pound baby. Everyone was impressed that itty bitty me birthed such a huge baby, I was just glad it was over. Between trying to finish school during the day, going to work in the afternoon and sometimes going back to school in the evening, going home and spending time with my daughter and studying for the next test (husband by now came home as often as he could but got deployed to Iraq when she was 8 months) weight took a back seat. It was a fleeting thought from time to time but I had an already full plate. By her first birthday (and my college graduation which happened to be on the same day), I had dropped most of the baby weight and my stomach went down but it wasn’t flat. Soon after, I started trying everything-diets, exercise, pure starvation-no matter what I did, I could not lose this pooch. I kept thinking I’d never get into a bikini again. My husband has never been anything less than amazing when it comes to my body and in fact, prefers the softer curvier me. I love everything else about my body so I never let it totally overtake me but the stomach was an issue. I’d still wear bikinis, but I’d just put a shirt over it or something to hide it.

I thought I wasn’t making a big deal of it and then my daughter (then 3) asked me one day why I was wearing a shirt in the pool. I said “it’s what mommy’s do” and she pointed out about 4 or 5 other women at the pool who didn’t have on shirts and said “they’re mommy’s too and they don’t have on shirts”. So I took off my shirt to appease her-she was delighted of course but my insides were screaming and I was mortified. But I felt I had to keep on a brave front because I definitely didn’t want her to pick up on it or worse-develop an unhealthy body image of herself. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen (the world would come to an abrupt halt maybe? Who knows) but absolutely NOTHING happened. And it was in that moment that I realized I was being ridiculous. Ok, the stomach’s not flat and there are plenty of stretch marks but you know what? I had a freaking 10 lb baby. She’s healthy, happy and the love of my life. I don’t diet, I don’t take pills, I do exercise but only because I sit down at work all day and it breaks up the monotony for me. My husband adores me and we have an absolutely wonderful family. I’m blessed and couldn’t ask for much more. And when I’m at the beach or pool-I’m in my bikini, running around playing with my happy and healthy daughter-jelly belly and all. It won’t consume you if you don’t let it.

I’m attaching pics

Pre-pregnancy (blurry but you get the idea), day of delivery, today and Big Tee & Little Tee

Self hate? Why not celebrate! (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 19 Comments

4 months post-partum with second child, first child is 3yrs

My name is Brittany and I am a 24 year old mother of two. I have a 3 year old son and a 4month old baby girl. Like many women, I have struggled with body issues for a majority of my life. I have hated my body for almost as long as I can remember. My first and only real relationship is with the father of my two children, and we started dating when I was 17. My body issues cast a huge shadow over our entire relationship. Whenever we watched a movie, or went to the mall, I would be constantly seeking out gorgeous women, wondering if he was wishing that he was with them instead of me. And this was before I had kids, mind you!!! Pregnant with my first born at 20 was not planned, and I dealt with that stress by eating my way through the pregnancy. I went from 115lbs to 185, and have the stretch marks to match every pound I gained. I was naïve and depressed and didn’t take care of my body at all. After my son was born, I went from hating my body, to wishing that I had my old body back. I would look back at pictures taken prior to my pregnancy and wonder to myself, what was there to hate?? I had a beautiful, strong body and hated every inch of it!! And that is when I realized that, the problem doesn’t lie in what my body looks like, its all in my head. Even when I had a flat stomach, free of stretch marks, I didn’t like myself. It isn’t about having a perfect body, it’s about loving yourself. With my second pregnancy, I went from 122lbs to 155 and didn’t get any stretch marks the second time around. I will never have my pre-pregnancy body, but now that my body has given birth to 2 wonderful, smart, loving, hilarious children, I love it even more, regardless of what it looks like. My boyfriend calls my stretch marks my badges of honour and he is absolutely right. Every now and then my sister-in-law will make snide remarks about how her husband is so glad she never got a single stretch mark, and he would hate it if she did. It used to bother me, but now I know that without these scars, I would have nothing physical to remind me of the wonderful nine months I had with my babies inside me, depending on me for their very survival. After I made peace with my new body, I felt so liberated!!! I have more confidence now than I have ever had. Instead of crying over my new body, which I used to do, I love it even more for everything it went through to bring me my precious family. Never wearing a bikini again is a small price to pay for my children, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. If anyone ever has anything to say about my loose skin and stretch marks, that is their problem, not mine because I love every inch of who I am!! If I don’t show my daughter how to love herself, she might very well grow up with the same self esteem issues I had, and I am not going to let that happen! So lets celebrate who we are, and what we’ve been through, because we are all worthy of love!!

I wear my baby stripes with honor (Karyle)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Reader's Favorite, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 22 Years old
Pregnancies: 2 happy little girls
Childrens ages:
18 month old and 3 months old

To me, these scars to not make me ugly or disfigured. To me, they are reminders of what we as women go through to bring our children into the world. Any man who thinks stretch marks are horrible should try having an enpowering enperience like incubating, carrying, and birthing another human being. There is nothing like that experience in the world. These baby stripes that cover me from waist to ankles and my membership card into the world’s greatest club. The one’s my second daughter gave me that sneak up past my hip bones are my gold star; they say I am a dedicated mother, a special woman for embarking on that awesome journey twice.

Whenever I see them, and if they try to make me feel bad, I remind myself of the love I get from my daughters and how worthwhile it was. I’ve had people tell me I shouldn’t wear short anymore, that I should stick to pants. I tell them that if they don’t want to see my stretch marks they can look away or keep in mind that 98% of women have these honor stripes.

My badges of honor make me feel sad for those women who are airbrushed and painted and cut so they are “pretty”. To me what is pretty is the strength that a woman shows when she holds her newborn for the first time, or when she conforts a crying toddler, sends a child to school on the bus for the first time, or watches her children get married. I wear my baby stripes with honor.