Breasts

Loving who I am now (Hannah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 29 years old
1 Pregnancy, 1 Child
Photos: 1,2,3 are 18months PP and 4 is a before pregger and 8mo pregger photo

I have a son named Ellis. Ellis was born last May by an unplanned C-section. He is now 18 months old. I had a pretty rough pregnancy. I was in school full-time at Mills College and I was working part-time with preschoolers. While I was pregnant, I completed all of the requirements to graduate, wrote a 25 page thesis, and walked in commencement 6 days after giving birth to Ellis. Whew~

During pregnancy, I gained 100pds+! Just to give you an idea… I weighed 120pds pre-preggers and by the time he was born, I was weighing in at 220-230pds! I had REALLY high blood pressure and one doctor told me I had the most worst case of edema he had ever seen! Needless to say… my once tight and taut body has become an oasis for stretch marks, flabby skin, and just all-together blah-ness~

I didn’t have the confidence or the energy to venture out into the world as the strong mommy warrior I envisioned to be and hoped I would be. Instead I had a long recovery from the unplanned surgery and loathed what I had become. At 27 years old I thought I had the whole world figured out… well, maybe just my world. I thought I knew who I was, what I went through and overcame, I thought… and felt like I just knew me. The package.

After my baby boy was born, I totally lost all sense of who I was and I realized that I no longer possessed the “knowing” of what in essence was me. I was a new person. Reborn. I was a mommy now. Although I loved this being that came from my womb, I resented the fact that in return, I received things that I did want more of… scars, stretch marks, fat, serious responsibilities…

Now a little over a year has passed and I am coming to terms with the new identity I’ve had to establish in being the mother to my child and I am happy to say… I do in fact love myself again… okay, maybe like. I still struggle with issues that I’ve struggled with all my life. Weight issues, insecurities… aarrrggghhh! One day I will overcome.

Rejected, but not vulnerable anymore (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 14 Comments

This was my first pregnancy and my son turned a year old last month. Thanks! :)

I was dating a man on and off for two years. He’s about ten years older than me (I’m in my 20s and he’s in his 30s) but he can be rather immature. We broke up and got back together a lot. We always had great sex and we were very attracted to each other.

When I was 25, I got pregnant. We had broken up three days before. Initially he thought that I would have an abortion so he told me that he’d stand by me no matter what. When I decided to keep the baby, he got really mean. He said, “Don’t think that this means we’re getting back together,” and pressured me to get an abortion. I didn’t give in to the pressure. Throughout the pregnancy, he gradually became more accepting of my choice but he was still an ass about it. After the baby was born, if I asked my ex for any help, he would tell me that I was the one who wanted a baby and to deal with it, even though he made the choice to be involved in our son’s life.

He had also chosen not to sleep with anyone else while I was pregnant out of respect for me. That respect apparently didn’t extend to the postpartum period. When our son was three weeks old, my ex started sleeping with someone who was younger and thinner than me. I was devastated when I found out even though he said that he wasn’t pursuing a relationship with her. I told him that I wanted to get back together so we could be a family, and he said that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. My body had been through a lot of changes. Even my belly button was different for f-sake! It really hurt to hear that someone who had been unable to keep his hands off of me for two years before I got pregnant was no longer attracted to me.

It’s been a lot of work to feel confident about myself again. I gained a lot of weight during the pregnancy and I feel good that I’ve lost a lot of it, but I don’t feel good about my loose skin. I feel good that I can wear my pre-pregnancy jeans now, but not so good that my belly and love-handles spill out of them. A lot of guys hit on me, but they’re mostly guys who I’m not interested in. I haven’t had sex since I found out I was pregnant, so it’s been almost two years. I dated somebody for a little bit but I have a new policy now of making sure that a guy isn’t an asshole before I sleep with him. (I don’t think that this guy was necessarily an asshole, but things just kind of fizzled before it got to that point.)

I’ve realized that my ex didn’t reject me because there was anything wrong with me; he was the one who had issues. Maybe it was his issues with responsibility or maybe he just watches too much porn. Either way, to hell with him! I just hope that he’ll be a good father to our wonderful little boy.

Here I am at 27 years old, one year and one month postpartum in my pre-pregnancy jeans. They’re a bit tighter than they were before I got pregnant.

This is me (anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 10 Comments

I am 22 years old this is me 4 months postpartum. Before I was pregnant I was Small and petite 5”1″ and was 95lbs. I gained over 50 pounds during this pregnancy even though I worked out just about every day. I am now around 125lbs I feel fat and just really unattractive with this body.My stomach is really loose and jiggly.My boobs are a cup size bigger but are kind of deflated a bit. I work out just about everyday and still cant seem to get this weight off.Which is depressing.I do have pretty bad stretch marks on me but I actually don’t mind them so much.I’m really happy that my fiance still loves my body and is still attracted to me.He is great! Thanks for reading this.

Proud to be a mother at last (Alex)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 20 Comments

Age: 35
No of pregnancies and births: 4 and 1 live birth
Post partum: 9 weeks

Having lost 3 babies I never thought I would become a mother. In may heart I blamed myself and after my last miscarriage in 2006 I spent 2 years trying for another baby so by the end of 2008 I had decided to be happy with not having children. So when the pregnancy test came back positive in January 2009 I was slightly dismayed. I know I should have been happy but I had finally accepted my circumstances and now I had to think again. As a result I didn’t enjoy the first few months of pregnancy with constant nausea, tiredness and weight gain but by the 2nd trimester I had come to terms with things and was beginning to enjoy my pregnancy and my body. I really liked the changes in my body and I especially loved being able to celebrate my tummy getting bigger and the lovely baby that I knew was growing inside. I had no real problems with the pregnancy but when my waters broke and the contractions did not start I waited another 4 days before finally going into hospital to be induced. I had hoped for a home water birth using hypnobirthing techniques but ended up with an induced, forceps delivery and an episiotomy to boot. It couldn’t have been more traumatic as little one was back to back (hence waters breaking and no contractions) and when I finally held her I was too in shock to really take in how wonderful she was.

That said I am grateful for my little girl and so far have felt fairly happy with my body. I was at my fittest and lowest weight just before I got pregnant (5ft 5inches and 133lbs) and I gained 41lbs when I was pregnant. So far I have lost 19lbs (currently weigh 155lbs) and at least 10lbs of that was baby and placenta. I am breast feeding and am fairly active in the day carrying my now 12lb baby in a sling everyday so I think that helps.

Although things are wobblier and my boobs are a bit saggier I’m trying not to expect too much from myself and to accept that bodies change all the time whether through pregnancy or with age so acceptance will always be necessary. Luckily as I am in my mid thirties I feel less concerned with physical beauty now than I did when I was younger and can see beauty in a wider range of things than I did back then. Perfection is great but requires a whole heap of effort to keep it going. I’d rather spend time cuddling my daughter and seeing her wonderful smile as I know how fleeting things can be.

Thanks,
Alex

Baby got bigger, I got smaller -update from previous entry (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 16 Comments

Facts: 3 pregnancies, 2 children, 1 cesarean. 2 1/2 years postpartum. Age 27.

Story: I first posted to The Shape of a Mother in an entry in April 2008 entitled “Never Been More Proud“.

I wanted to update because I talked about in that entry how proud I was of my body for the 2 miracles it created, and while that was true and still is true today, back then I really did not like my reflection in the mirror too much. It wasn’t long after that submission that I started working on my outward appearance…not for anyone else, but for MYSELF. To feel better about MYSELF.

And since then I have lost about 60 lbs! There are still some things I would like to work on and my body still definitely looks like a mother’s body, saggy stomach and all. But, I feel better about myself and my body now at this moment in my life than I have in years. No, it’s not perfect, but perfection is an illusion. All I want is to feel the best I can physically and mentally and have good self esteem so that I can raise my children to be happy with their bodies and feel good about themselves. And that is what I have accomplished since my last submission. I feel so good about myself now and am finally, for the first time in a long time, happy with what I see in the mirror. It’s still a work in progress, but as of right now, I feel great. :)

I tried to re-create the same image as in my last submission for comparison.

120109-anon-1

PCOS and Me (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Infertility, PCOS, Submissions 17 Comments

I found out a year ago now that I have PCOS. Since kindergarten I have been “mothering” everyone. I have always dreamed about being a mom and I feel that is what I was born to do. But with the PCOS and being addicted to junk food I just dont know how Im going to be able to accomplish that task. Ive tried a lot to get myself motivated to lose the weight, ive even put newborn shoes on my wall. I just ache all the time, my muscles ache, my back…everything aches. Four years ago I went through something that really broke me. I still havent gotten over it and I think my fear of losing the weight way outweighs my need for a child. at least right now. That sounds horrible but Im so scared to be smaller. Im scared to look good. I dont even know if im able to have children. I think I just need the support of someone who understands what im going through. This site has often inspired me to be ok with my body, but now that I know it might hurt my chances of being a mother…its hard to accept myself the way I am. I dont see myself as others do. I know this is a site for pregnant woman and mothers but seeing the support given really inspired me to write in. Thank you.

These Pictures were taken Today 10/22/2009

Updated here.

Mummy of one and one to come with major self esteem issues (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 38 Comments

Im 19, i had my child on the 5th novemer 2008 she is now almost 12 months old
I am currently pregnant im 21 weeks

Iv always had self esteem issues mainly because i had to try match up to me perfect sister! she is skinny beautiful and very talented and i was just the chub kid my dads side of my family loves me very very much but my mums side not so sure i feel like i have to be a certain standard to gain there love which is pretty sad. I feel intimidated when i am around them the only time i click with my mum is when shes drinking. And my sister well we never get on shes too good to be speeking to me She was Ms Queen Bee in primary school and high school and she still is and shes 22!!.

Thats where my confidence really dropped didn’t help i got called fat as a kid and throughout high school so i started turning to drinking and smoking pot and ciggies to try fit in and that made it worse i got my self quite a name. The only reason why i would get a chance with guys is because of my breasts in my bra they looked nice and perky i am a DD even when not pregnant, but with out a bra they go south. Very South so i have never showed anyone so you guys are the first people to ever see my boobs!.

Up untill this day i dispise the body i live in i hate it everything about i hate i can’t even look at myself in the mirror with out bawling into tears i try and accept but i can’t i don’t want to feel that way about my self but i can’t help it. Pregnancy didn’t really change what i looked like just a few stretch marks and extra baggage.

my dad always told me i was beautiful and god loved me the way i are but it just goes in one ear and out the other like i crindge when my bf sez im a sexy mumma and im perfect i hate it it drives me nuts!! i always say stop telling me im beautiful and perfect when im not i know what i am so don’t tell me different he gets quite annoyed because of my confidence issues but he doesn’t know anything about it since his skinny and muscely its like OMG i feel so left out from the world guys take one look at me and laugh or give me a look like omg what is that. I hate it i don’t want my kids growing up knowing there mummy hates her self iv tried loosing weight hundreds of time but i can’t. What the heck is going to happin to my body after the 2nd baby! ??? its bad enough now as it is.

I can’t explain how i feel about my self to anyone untill i came across this site:)
but it really does make me sick looking at my body naked
Im a Christian i do everything a christian is to do i sponsor’d a child i donate to charity i live by God but i just can’t accept ‘Me’ i’v tried preying but nothing happins.

4 months postpartum & 2 under 2yrs (Proudmommy0709)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

Well I’m still getting used to this mommy belly, and saggy breasts… The past 2 years my body has gone through a lot, I know that. I AM very proud, but at the same time I am not satisfied with the way my body looks. When I had my son Nov 27th 2007 I did get a lot more stretch marks from him & a saggy belly. As you can see thank goodness, my stretchmarks from him have faded a lot. I really don’t think when I was pregnant with my daughter than much changed, my first pregnancy really did all the damage, and I really didn’t have much time in between pregnancies to try and get back into shape. But now I am 185lbs. and I just started working out everyday, and I have changed my daily diet. I have seen a few mothers really inspire me, seeing their before & afters (postpartum & after they lost weight). I’m just really hope that my saggy skin isn’t so bad that I can’t get rid of it naturally. I will be soo satisfied with just that! I don’t care about the stretchmarks… its the skin that I hate! And my breast!… I’m 21, yess I’ve breastfed for 2 years practically and I feel like they look so saggy…. I miss my perky ones : ( lol that I know will never come back ohhh well! I’m just thankful I have a beautiful family now : ) Thanks for letting my share a tiny piece of my story… And if any mothers out there HAVE lost weight & did get rid of that saggy belly let me know! I’d love to hear you’re story & what u did

Age- 21
Pregnancies & births- 3 pregnancies 2 births
Age children- 23 months, & 4months
Postpartum- 4months

My Body, My Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

i am 24 and have been blessed with two gorgoeus boys, with my first pregnancy i got very big very quick! i was being asked at 20 weeks when i was due by people thinking it must be any day now. Of course the problem is when you get big quick you get loads of stretchmarks and i had them on my belly, the backs of my legs, part of my back, my breasts and even the underside of my arm. My eldest was due near halloween and i used to joke with my friends and family that i didn’t need a fancy dress costume as i could just go out naked and the sight of a beached whale covered in stretchmarks would scare everyone anyways. Then i had him and i hated my body it was saggy, horrid and completely unnatractive. when i was having my second son i had to have an emergency c-sect which then got badly infected and my self esteem was at an all time low. then slowly i began to accept my body instead of trying to find fault with it and lusting after the toned figure i used to have before kids. now at nearly two years post partum i am a typical woman curvaceous and confident and when i look at my body i realise that it tells my story, it is just another reminder that i have been truly blessed and if other people dont like it, its tough they dont need to look!

Finally feel like a woman! (Erin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, Child Loss, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 13 Comments

I always felt like I wasn’t very feminine looking – my breasts were small, my body thin… I didn’t feel like a woman at all – until I had my children (2 daughters, now aged 3 and 16 months)… I actually wound up thinner, and with smaller breasts than before children, but I have now found new respect for my body, and it’s purpose! I’ve created two beautiful little beings (and breastfed both successfully), and that makes me as womanly as the next….

Photos are:
38 Weeks with my first….
38 weeks with my second….
Breastfeeding my second….
Me today….

~Your Age:24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies (1x miscarriage at 7wks) and 2 births – girls aged 3 and 16 months
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: As above.