PCOS and Me (Brittany)

I found out a year ago now that I have PCOS. Since kindergarten I have been “mothering” everyone. I have always dreamed about being a mom and I feel that is what I was born to do. But with the PCOS and being addicted to junk food I just dont know how Im going to be able to accomplish that task. Ive tried a lot to get myself motivated to lose the weight, ive even put newborn shoes on my wall. I just ache all the time, my muscles ache, my back…everything aches. Four years ago I went through something that really broke me. I still havent gotten over it and I think my fear of losing the weight way outweighs my need for a child. at least right now. That sounds horrible but Im so scared to be smaller. Im scared to look good. I dont even know if im able to have children. I think I just need the support of someone who understands what im going through. This site has often inspired me to be ok with my body, but now that I know it might hurt my chances of being a mother…its hard to accept myself the way I am. I dont see myself as others do. I know this is a site for pregnant woman and mothers but seeing the support given really inspired me to write in. Thank you.

These Pictures were taken Today 10/22/2009

Updated here.

17 thoughts on “PCOS and Me (Brittany)

  • Monday, November 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Hi there,

    I’ve been living with PCOS since I was 18 and my doctors have consistently assured me the Pregnancy should not be a problem with the use of certain fertility drugs. That being said, I have had a lot of success managing my PCOS by stabilizing my blood sugar, I did that with the help of a nutritionist.

    I don’t think you have to loose a lot of weight to be healthy, although doctors typically tell people with PCOS that it would “go away” if they just lost the extra pounds…Look into the book, WOMEN’S BODIES, WOMEN’S WISDOM, it could help.

    As for loosing weight, there’s no reason to have to fit into a societal standard. I think being happy with your body and being healthy is the most important thing.

    I went from being roughly 225 to roughly 185, and still identify as a larger women. I wasn’t trying to loose weight, I was just trying to become healthy. And I have. I still don’t fit into societal norms. But I am perfectly fit and healthy and that makes me happy.

    Good luck to you on your journey.

  • Monday, November 30, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Learning to change is HARD. Learning to change is SCARY. Learning to change on your own may feel completely impossible, especially when you’ve been through something traumatic, which you obviously have. I think that foremost, you should be proud of yourself. You have already started changing just by coming to this site, sharing, and working towards self acceptance. That is inspiring! The next step may be to seek out a mental health professional to help you continue your journey, work through your pain and trauma, and learn to take those final few steps towards wellness that will have you feeling both physically and emotionally a whole lot better. I wish you well and thank you so much for reaching out. Your courage really did inspire me!

  • Monday, November 30, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    I was diagnosed with PCOS September 2008 put on metformin had ONE period start start 11/02 and got pregnant One year ago last Friday or Saturday. I have a baby girl, who was born August 12th. I was told it was the metformin that did it. Good luck.

    I am scared to this day. I was told pregnancy cures it. Now that my pregnancy is over I can feel my ovaries are tender again. Not so nice….

    Good luck. I wish you the best. stay strong. Have you been to the PCOS message board? Soul Cysters?
    take a look it is inspiring

  • Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 10:02 am

    I am so sorry to hear that things are so difficult. Certainly it would be difficult to motivate yourself to lose weight when you are in a lot of pain and also feeling unsafe if you are smaller! Do you know what is causing all of that aching you have? Perhaps if your doctor would work with you so you could feel better it would be easier to decide about focusing on a pregnancy. If you have a doctor that blames every single problem on weighing more than the doctor thinks you should, find another one! Wishing you well…

  • Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 11:56 am

    I also have PCOS and do not recognize my own image in a mirror. I know that I need to excersise, I need to eat better/different, but I think the mental toll that PCOS has taken on me has really shut me down.

    But I am not going to let is overcome me! I am going to start again today… you motivated me… and maybe that will help motivate you. I want to have children so badly, but I have to learn to be disciplined to take care of myself too. You are a beautiful woman, and I pray that you will find the motivation to take care of yourself! You are worth the work!

  • Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    You sounds like you want biological children very badly, and so I wish you the best, but just be aware that PCOS runs in families and there’s growing evidence that PCOS is hereditary (genetic). So just be aware there’s a higher tendency that your future daughter may also develop PCOS or your future son may have early balding and other endocrine disturbances.

  • Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    I second the metformin…I have a friend who suffers with PCOS and tried YEARS of expensive fertility treatmens with no results…then one month on metformin and she was pregnant. When you’re ready to get pregnant see an endocrinologist about metformin…and don’t let them push fertility treatments – they don’t work well for people with PCOS. But, taking care of yourself will only help your health and the health of your future baby. I suggest a nutritionist who will help you get on the right track and put a healthy meal plan together for you. I see one and it’s great! Good luck to you :)

  • Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    I was diagnosed with PCOS last year and my OB/GYN suggested I try the south beach diet and then he would start me on clomid. I went home and prayed harder than I ever prayed before. I left it all in God’s hands. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant! I didn’t even start the diet or clomid yet. I had an extremely hard pregnancy (gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and pregnancy induced hypertension) and my son was born 6 weeks premature via emergency c-section but it was all worth it cause he was born completely healthy. No medical issues at all. Strong and healthy baby boy. You would not have been given the gift of mothering if you weren’t meant to be a mother. PCOS doesn’t mean you won’t have children, just means that your baby will be a true miracle baby!

  • Monday, December 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    You are a beautiful woman and there is more than one way to become a mother! ♥

  • Friday, December 11, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    I think you look beautiful. I was dx’d w/ PCOS 2 wks before my wedding (2001). I went through IF. It worked two times, but it took a few years because we would take breaks inbetween.

    It is not impossible to become p/g w/ PCOS. I was and still taking metformin. I was never real healthy when trying to conceive as I would get depressed w/ ea. failed cycle and eat all the bad food. It is hard to eat healthy, but just moving 30 minutes a day at least 3-5 days of the week will really help. As a PCOS woman, it took my body 6 wks of steady (not hard) but steady working out before it would release any lbs., but then the weight started coming off. Just remember slow and steady wins the race in weight loss and TTC. Oh, and lots of praying worked for me.

    I don’t know what your trauma is but I’ll share mine as I totally relate to how you feel about not trying to look attractive, etc. I was sexually abused as a child and to this day, I sabotage myself when I start to drop weight and start to get noticed by people. It’s like being fat makes me invisible. Of course, logically, not really because more people see you, it’s just in a negative manner and I think that is what I am used to because as a child, I was taken advantage of negatively. Of course now, I have a wonderful loving hubby that no matter how mad I make him, he will never call me fat or unattractive. I don’t know if he has blinders on or just really loves me, but he has never made any mean remarks to me. On the other hadn, when I look in the mirror I see an ugly old woman (i’m 35yrs), but I am working on it because I have 2 beautiful daughters and I have to work on my image so I don’t project body image issues onto my daughters.
    Like someone else said earlier, you are already starting the first step…you posted your naked body on this site and that’s more than I can say for myself.
    Hugs to you my friend and just remember to keep pursuing your dream…no matter how long it takes.

  • Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    First I wanted to say that you are absolutely beautiful! I know living with PCOS can be extremely difficult. I have PCOS and my sister does as well. I actually had to struggle to get an ob to recognize that I had it even though it was clear in my blood work and symptoms. But having seen all my sister went through I knew it was something serious when it comes to infertility and I was not going to give up.

    After almost two years of trying for a baby, a year of being on Metformin, my 2nd cycle on Clomid I became pregnant and my baby boy is due end of January. I lost no weight while trying, and actually gained a little after a miscarriage (happened just before my PCOS diagnosis). My pre-pregnancy weight was 258 and I’m 5’5″ so definitely not light. But I was able to see a wonderful reproductive endocrinologist who actually believed that weight does not cause PCOS but is rather a symptom of it.

    My sister also has a beautiful baby girl who is 2 1/2 years old now. I’m not sure of her exact weight but I know she’s not small either. It was a huge struggle to become pregnant, she actually went through way more than I did in the process, but it’s all worth it in the end.

    The reason I’m telling you all of this is to let you know that you can have a baby with PCOS even if you don’t get into that “ideal weight” doctors so love to throw out there. It is so difficult to care about your weight especially when you’re going through difficult times. I hope that you are able to recognize your beauty, not care about the weight so much but do what makes you feel good and healthy.

    Good luck and many many hugs.

  • Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    My step sis sandi has pcos, and she has 3 girls. You don’t look bad at all!

  • Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I, too, was diagnosed with PCOS. I took Clomid for two cycles, stopped. I became pregnant the cycle after I stopped taking Clomid but unfortunately miscarried. That miscarriage was what broke me!

    I worked out like I had never worked out in my life. It drove me to want to lose weight and get rid of this awful PCOS.

    Almost a year ago I found out I was pregnant. My little girl was born this past October and is now almost 3 months old. Pregnancy with PCOS IS possible but you HAVE to want to make a change in your body and work for it. Good luck!

  • Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 1:40 am

    I was diagnosed with PCOS 13 years ago. I have always struggled with my weight. I took glucaphage to have my son and I am still on it. It helped me tremendously with my weight and hormones. I work out a lot to even stay at a healthy weight but it is worth it to beable to run and play with my son. I also did a low sugar high fiber diet that helped me loose some weight. Good luck!

  • Monday, October 4, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    Hi I have been trying to get pregnant for the last 2 years and yesterday I was told that I have PCOS.I have been crying all night but today I have a much more possitive actitude. I am 33 years old I am not fat at all I am 00 size I have no extra hair in my skin. I only have pain in my ovaries and the hormones studies confirmed that I have PCOS. I am not going to get depressed and let myself down. I will change my diet and will try to eat only healthy foods like fish, oats, vegetables and fruits and I exercise even when I feel not too. I will go to accupunture, go to the doctores and try everything possible starting from natural remedies. I will pray a lot. Hopefuly one day my dream will come true.

  • Tuesday, April 24, 2012 at 7:04 am

    I too have PCOS. I had my son before I knew about the PCOS, but it took 3 years of trying to let nature take it’s course. I started Metformin (gluophage) when my doctor diagnosed the PCOS and within one month I was pregnant with my daughter. I have been on metformin for the past 10 years because it regulates my cycle so well. No more months of skipped periods. Good luck!

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