Belly

Unplanned C-Section (Greenbean)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I went into the hospital at 7:30 am to be induced. After several hours of my baby’s heart rate being consistently low and frequently dipping further it was clear she was not coping well with labor and with my cervix refusing to dilate past 2cm despite doing all we could we knew that a vaginal birth would not be possible and I went in to have a c section a little after 2 am. Although some people see it as such, a cesarean is not “the easy way out”, it does not make me any less of a mother nor does it make my daughters birth any less valid. This was not something I wanted or expected. It was very scary and upsetting, it was painful, and the recovery has been slow and difficult, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around her throat three times so it needed to happen so my baby could be born safe and healthy and I would do it again in a heartbeat for her. She is perfect, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and this scar is a reminder that we did what was necessary for her sake and I am incredibly proud of that.

21 years old
2 weeks postpartum
1st baby

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My postpartum body is horrible, and I have a lot of insecurities!!! (K. Evans)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Body Image, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

Well for starters I have a lot on my plate. I’m a single mom, I work, and go to school. I just turned 20 last December, and this was my first pregnancy. I love my son to death I wouldn’t trade him for anything, I just regret having him at a young age. I feel like a bad mom sometimes because I get so down about my postpartum body, and it worries me so much I lose focus on what’s important. I’m 3 months pp and I thought I would be at least almost back to normal but I’m not. My stomach is very wrinkly and covered with stretchmarks as well as my sides, thighs, hips, even my calves. I don’t even want to date in the future because of it…its just that awful. The only thing that cheers me up about it is my son because he was well worth it. I just wish it wasn’t so bad ?

The first picture is me before pregnancy, the last two are me 3 months pp….

I am their Motherbear! (Motherbear)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

3 giant baby bears + short torso = this crepey saggy skin! It just sort of hangs there after losing weight. But you know, some pretty wonderful people began life there so I can appreciate it for the sake of nostalgia. And for those of us who have our abs cut through a few times, i think we can forgive ourselves for not being what we used to be.

~Age: 33
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies. Miscarriage @16 wks, 3 healthy wild boys
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9yrs, 4yrs, 3yrs
~3 C-sections. I still can’t feel my abs.

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Not What I Planned (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Toxemia 4 Comments

1 pregnancy & 1 birth

I’m not really sure how to tell my story, I had it all typed out and deleted it because it ended up being a jumbled mess. It’s much easier to just list the major points so bear with me! (:

-18 when I got pregnant..5’2 and itty bitty with curves in all the right places
– Didn’t gain much weight at all through my pregnancy (overall about 15 lbs in the first and second trimesters combined)
– Developed severe preeclampsia and full blown HELLP syndrome at 31 weeks
– Emergency C-section 2 hours into 31 weeks
– Delivered a tiny little 2 lb 8 oz baby who thankfully has no long lasting health problems and is thriving at 8 months old ?
– spent 7 weeks in the Nicu at my daughters side
– told that I can’t have anymore children because my body just isn’t strong enough to handle it
– After she was born I had stretch marks show up EVERYWHERE and the little weight that I did gain went directly to my tummy
– While I’m not necessarily happy with my body physically I think my hatred for it is more of a mental thing..I despise it for not being strong enough to carry my daughter to term and not being strong enough to bare any more children :(

Art by Babies (Bonnianne)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, My Own Ramblings, News, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

stretchies

This is me. Your SOAM host. This was a big deal for me to share. I wrote a little bit about it on Instagram:

I created SOAM almost ten years ago and I don’t think I’ve ever felt as naked as I do right now in sharing this photo. And I’m pretty sure I’ve actually posted a topless picture before! I took this picture a few years ago with my big camera. I thought that doing an almost-macro shot of my stretch marks would help me to see them in a new light. I thought if I could make them into art, I’d find them more beautiful. But when I loaded the photos onto my computer and looked at them, I was shocked. They were so much scarier up close than I’d expected, so much more violent. So I hid the photos away instead of sharing them. After all these years of work on my body image and I’m still struggling. It’s really hard work to love yourself! And yet, almost five years after I hid away this picture, I’m ready to share it. My stretch marks are some of the most intense I’ve ever seen (and you know I’ve seen a lot over the years!) but that’s okay. My stretch marks aren’t my soul. My stretch marks are part of my story. My biography written into my skin. And this chapter is about how I became a mother to two amazing human beings. And that is kind of beautiful.

I have got a ton of really lovely responses. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course. I mean, I’ve known how wonderful this community is for years now. But it still feels a little extra naked for me to share this because I can’t just be anonymous here. And so I’ve been just uplifted by you guys once again. Here are some of the comments I’ve received:

“Seriously as I scrolled by I didn’t notice the poster and I thought it was an art website I follow. I stopped because it was so beautiful- looks like sculptural trees. Truly beautiful.” – Kristina M. B.

“love this so much. I see in this image the strength and fragility it takes to carry and birth a baby. The human body and mothering spirit is truly an amazing thing!” – Lauren B.

“I see an incredible amount of stretch and give that is needed to become an entity that can bear, birth and mold another spiritual being into existence. NOTHING to be ashamed of. Beautiful.” – Amber D.

“Its beautiful to see how our skin is so strong yet so delicate” – Bernadette L.

And a couple that I found really powerful:

“They *are* violent, and a testament to the incredible strength of a woman’s body to create and house new human life. Pregnancy and birth have degrees of violence to them that we do a disservice to ourselves by denying.” – Leah M.

“Oh, honey. Even if your stretch marks were your soul, they would not be something to be ashamed of. They would still show your beauty.” – Heidi S.-P.

And, honestly, she’s so right. I think I was trying to say that they are not my entire aspect, they are not all of me, in and out. They are but one facet of who I am, and they are absolutely important enough to be my soul, aren’t they? My children are parts of my soul and they’ve written on me in love so that no matter how they grow, they will also still always be within reach of my touch.

Mom of Two Boys and Four Angels (MommaPitbull)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, PCOS, Postpartum, Submissions 0 Comment

In 2008, at 20 years old, I gave birth to my oldest, Eddie, and I became a mom via emergency c-section. After 38 hours of labor my firstborn got stuck while I was pushing, we were rushed into emergency surgery and he made his entrance five days after his due date at 4:03 am, 7 pounds, 14 ounces, 21 inches long. After having jaundice and a brief stay in the NICU, we got home and began our new life as a tiny family. Two years later I met the man who would become my husband, and our little family grew.

When we’d been together two years, we got two pink lines after a year of TTC and a diagnosis of PCOS, our first pregnancy! We were thrilled! But 8 weeks along we lost our precious miracle, the first of three miscarriages. Then our little girl, Lilly, was stillborn at 22 weeks gestation in August 2013. I almost gave up on the hope of other children all together.

Finally in September 2014 we got two pink lines again. I had a good feeling about this time, I even started having dreams about a baby boy. In December we learned my dreams were right, it was a boy we would be welcoming to our family! We chose the name Alexander, and waited impatiently for the weeks to pass til I was passed that magical 24 week viability – the point at which our son would hopefully be safe even if he arrived early.

The fates smiled on us and Alex arrived full term and healthy! 7 pounds, 2 ounces, 21 inches long, via repeat planned cesarean at 10:15 am on a beautiful May morning. His big brother came right to the hospital that afternoon and held his baby brother, declaring it the best day of his life! The four of us could not have been more in love.

Today Eddie is seven and a half, Alex is seven months old, I’m a month from my 28th birthday, and we are about to move into our first house.

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 6 pregnancies, 3 births – two live, one still, 3 miscarriages.
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 1/2 years and 7 months

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2 under 2 under 22 (Princess)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 1 Comment

I had stretch marks and was overweight before kids, and i was learning to love them. When I found myself pregnant with my son my body changed all over again and at 19 I was trying ti learn to love my new body and the little body inside. I gained a lot of weight due to stress eating. My little man was born 7lbs 9oz in 2013. Hes 2 now. In November of 2014 i found out the fertility gods had given me another unexpected gift. My body hadnt rebounded yet from the first when my 10lb 4oz little girl came along my body was scarred, stretched, and pretty wrecked up. I needed ten more perineal stitches after her natural birth, to go with brothers episiotomy stitches, but thats okay! My scars aren’t all visable to the world, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. But even though I felt like my body was ruined, my babies didn’t. My son enjoys tracing the “booboos” on my tummy and my little girl often snuggles into my extra skin & fat.
They love me and someday i will too.

My name is princess I’ll be 22 in January and I am pretty proud of what my body made!

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Daily Struggle (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Piercing, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo 7 Comments

I’m 28 years old and just had my second child. My first is 7 years old and my most recent is almost 6 weeks old. After my first child I was involved in a few unhealthy relationships. In both of these, I was abused both mentally and physically. Part of the mental abuse included tearing down my self image and pointing out all of my flaws that I was told men would be disgusted with…my stretch marks and sagging breasts with large areola. Now that I’ve had my second child my body has changed again for the worst and all of those damaging statements flooded back to haunt me. This combined with my husband enjoying looking at other females has me fighting a daily battle with myself. I currently struggle with eating. I was 120 before my second pregnancy and gained 55 pounds. I’m currently at 140 but can’t eat. I try to stay positive with this website and positive quotes regarding self esteem and image but then I see my body in the mirror and I break down again. I see all of my flaws and new ones. My areola has gotten even larger and darker. My breasts sag even more and have lost more volume and breastfeeding. My stomach has even more stretch marks and is now longer flat like it was 10 mo this ago. My thighs have doubled in size. I have a tire around my entire midsection.

Most times I can’t even look at myself or others in the eye because I’m so ashamed. I wish more than anything I could be happy and love myself. But with the media/society along with previous men who have told me I’m not beautiful remind me of reality. This daily battle has affected my marriage and I’m afraid my girls will grow to see it. I tell them daily that they are beautiful in hopes that they never have to endure this emotional pain. I have often times turned to his website to help me knowing that there are other women out there who have had children and look beautiful in my eyes. You all truly are but I still can’t see it in myself. I have a consultation for surgery at 6 months post partum to make changes. Even that decision I am torn with. For now I will continue to try to win this fight although it is slowing beating me down.

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Mother of Twins, I feel so Alone (Linzy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Postpartum, PTSD, Submissions, Twins 6 Comments

Hi…i am a mother of twins. Boy girl…love your site. I am a combat veteran and have severe ptsd but along with battle scars are my almost year old twin scars and im seriously trying to gain perspective on this whole body image thing…i love my children but hate myself im freaking out. I started visiting your site when i found out i was pregnant…it really keeps me in check on some days where i feel alone and afraid of my thoughts and feelings esp on being a mother.

I dont have pics before but here im 11 months pp.

My name is Linzy and im 27

Had 1 abortion 2 miscarriages.
All prior to the twins.