Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

3 1/2 Years Postpartum with Second Baby (Monique)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, Postpartum, Preemie, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 3 Comments

name: monique
Age:24, had first baby at 16 and second at 20
Children: 2 little girls 6 and 3 almost 3 and a half years post parterm

First off i found this site along time ago but didnt ever think i would get the guts to send anything. but i now love my body just the way it is.

I got pregnant at 16 with my first daughter who is now 6 and amazing i had her at 17 after a really short pregnancy she was born at 33 weeks and weighed only 5 lbs but looking at her now you would never guess the bean pole was ever a preemie. i was a size 3 when i got pregnant with her and after words shrunk to a zero from breast feeding i was fortunate with her to get only one stretch mark that wasn’t even noticeable. i got pregnant at 20 with my second daughter and had a horrible pregnancy plagued with kidney problems and other health problem i was in the icu for almost a month while pregnant and they thought they would have to deliver her at 26 weeks via c section but i wouldn’t allow that. i ballooned while pregnant with her gaining 75 lbs on my very little body i did carry her to term as a matter of fact two weeks later then term but i wasn’t so lucky on losing the weight that time i lost only like 30 lbs and my husband did nothing but criticize my weight and all the stretch marks i got. but 3 years late im done all the pregnancy weight and now im at what i weighed when i got pregnant with my first daughter. granet i lost all the weight because i was going through a divorce but i am now in a healthy relationship and my boyfriend loves my body extra skin and stretch marks and all he tells me i should be proud of them because i have two beautiful and healthy daughters and i am proud. i hope to have more kids someday and even if i get more stretch marks i will still love my body no matter what. thank you for this site it helped a lot in accepting me the way i am.

Thankful and Blessed but Still Trying to Accept (mummyoftwodarlings)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 18 Comments

Ok, so I have been visiting this site for over a year now in the hope of it helping me accept and love my post baby body.

I am 30 years old, mother of 2 beautiful children. A daughter aged 3 and a son aged 16 months.

I married my first love in 2004 at around 147 lbs (I am 5ft 6.5). We decided pretty much straight after to start trying for a baby and after 6 months of hoping and praying every month, I finally got that positive result…..and then another…and so on until I’d worked my way through about 20 of the things and finally convinced myself that this was real and I was pregnant!

I had no problems until I reached 30 weeks. I was at work, about to lead a training day for about 20 teachers and I popped to the toilet first. That is when I noticed a few drops of blood. Panic stricken, I was rushed to the nearest hospital. To cut a long story short my darling daughter was delivered by emergency c section at 31 weeks exactly, as I was suffering a major placental abruption and she could have died if she stayed inside me any longer. She weighed 3lbs 7oz and stayed in Special Care Baby Unit for 6 weeks but is now thank God happy, healthy and very entertaining!

As I never got that big by 31 weeks my body pretty much went back to normal afterwards. A year later we decided to try for another, our last baby. I fell pregnant straight away but unfortunately miscarried at about 6 weeks. Fast forward another 6 weeks and I found myself staring at another positive test! Luckily the pregnancy went fairly smoothly and at 37 weeks my waters broke. I had to be induced though as nothing else was happening but despite that, I managed to deliver my son naturally. He has a few tummy problems after birth and stayed in hospital for a week in which time the problems righted themselves. After our daughter’s 6 week stay a week was bearable although I couldn’t wait to get him home!

During the last few weeks of my second pregnancy I developed a few stretch marks on my belly which to be honest I was gutted about. I religiously applied lotions and potions in the hope of avoiding them. I guess I was just that much bigger than first time around as I had carried my son for 6 weeks longer.

After the birth I weighed around 165 lbs, the most I had ever weighed. I lost the excess weight by about 5/6 months pp by joining a slimming group and going to the gym but then I gained about 14 lbs of that back over the next 10 months. I felt horrible about my stretched, saggy post baby belly and the excess weight wasn’t helping either so I rejoined the slimming group and restarted the exercise and here I am, 4 lbs away from my goal weight of 140 lbs and clothed I feel great but when I look at my belly I feel so disappointed.

I wouldn’t change having my children for any model’s body, and having to experience both my babies fight in hospital has made me so thankful for what I have. I am slowly learning to accept my new body and realise that the old one is gone for good. I am never going to look like my baby-less friends but I have something far more precious than their flab free, stretch mark free tummies!

The photos are:
29 weeks pregnant with #1 (2 weeks before she arrived)
36 weeks pregnant with #2 with stretchmarks (a few days before he arrived)
2 Today at 16 months pp with the baby belly I am still trying to accept

19 years old struggling to accept my new body. (Meg)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Children with Health Complications, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 4 Comments

I found out I was pregnant at 18. I was actually thrilled, even though the father and I had only been together for a short three months. I had a wonderful beginning to my pregnancy. I loved watching my belly grow, and eating whatever I felt like. (I always did anyways.) I was 120 lbs before pregnancy, and I gained exactly 35 lbs on the day of delivery. I’m now back at 128, not bad, but I’d like to lose more. At 21 weeks of pregnancy, something I had never considered a possibility, happened. My daughter was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. Actually, three. She has a single ventricle defect, luckily she has the right ventricle, which does most of the work, and is way easier to remedy than hypo-plastic left heart syndrome. Also, transposed arteries, meaning the two major arteries are reversed. And lastly, she has two large holes in her right ventricle, which are actually blessings in disguise. They keep the arteries open. She’s the strongest most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I am very blessed to have her, and I know this. She has beaten every odd the doctors thought she wouldn’t. I just wish I could be half as proud of the body she left me with as I am of her. I wish I would have known that the body I had before pregnancy was beautiful, and taken advantage of that. And as soon as I started to feel that my pregnant body was beautiful, my pregnancy became overwhelmingly stressful. After a long 36 hours of labor after being induced, she was born c-section. I got to see my Ava Elaine for about 30 seconds before they whisked her away to the NICU. She’s had her first of three surgeries, the next right around the corner, and she’s doing amazing! The pictures shown below are of me at almost 4 months postpartum. As you can see, I have an umbilical hernia, and I’ve had it since birth. I will be having surgery to fix that soon, and hope it helps the shape of my tummy a little. Right now it looks like a deformed brain.

STRUGGLING with looking pregnant a year AFTER I had my baby (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Surgical Scar (Non-Cesarean) 42 Comments

I am now 25 years old. I had my first son in January 2008 when I was 23 years old. I am now 14 months postpartum.

Hey, I had my first baby at 23. A few month before I got pregnant I was 154 pounds. I am quite tall so i was a nice normal size then when i just found out I was pregnant i had put on a bit of weight 180lbs. By 12 weeks ( with morning sickness and everything) I was down to 167lbs and feeling great wasn’t worried about my weight etc. right from the start people thought i was having twins my stomach was HUGE and the rest of me was fairly thin. From 34 weeks i noticed I had put on alot of weight around my face but didn’t think much of it, the rest of me was still normal except for my belly, by this stage HUGE HUGE belly.

Anyhoo I went into labour naturally but ended up having a emergency c section after an hour of pushing as my baby was posterior and quite large. I gave birth to a 9lb 5 oz baby boy he was beautiful. When people came to visit me at hospital towards the end of the first week they started making comments politely about my stomach still quite large and that it hadn’t gone down much. Friends kids started asking me if I had another baby in my stomach and by the 4 week postpartum when I was out shopping a lady asked me ” How long I had to go?” I gave in another month or two and came to the conclusion i had put on soooo much weight during my pregnancy on my stomach and no where else and after the baby was born my stomach kept that pregnant look, it didn’t look like a fat belly it looked like a pregnant one!

The week i gave birth to my son I was 226lbs. I lost a few lbs after the birth but stayed around 204 lbs. for the first 11 months of my sons life, I just couldn’t get motivated. Then I read that if you haven’t lost all your baby weight in the first 10 months you never will.. Rubbish I thought. so I started eating right and just walking 3 times a week from the time my son was 11 1/2 months. By the time my son was 13 months I had lost 28 lbs My son is now 15 months and I am still hovering around that weight and getting ready to push my exercise up a notch to get rid of those extra pounds.

I have a lot of stretch marks, my stomach looks like a prune but hey I’m working on it and feel fantastic with the weight I have lost and so grateful I now look like I have a flabby belly not a pregnant one. lol

Oh also if you notice some scars on my pictures i also had my gallbladder out at around 4 months post.

I hope you all enjoy my photos. I know this website has been fantastic for me in realizing not everyone goes back to a supermodel body after pregnancy.

Promoting the site

Bonnie (SOAM) Old News 5 Comments

The Shape of a Mother has been featured in the media worldwide, but has received less attention here in my own US than in other countries. My friends have started a campaign to get the site featured on Oprah, by writing letters and passing the idea on. I feel awkward promoting myself like this, but it really isn’t me – it’s for women in general. Please join this group, pass on the message, and write a letter if you feel inclined.

More information here.

Timeline (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 8 Comments

Here’s a timeline of photos from my pregnancy from 2 weeks to 38 (I went into labor at 39 weeks 6 days, so no 40 week photo!). The final photo is me now at 5 weeks postpartum. I love the changes that my body went through; the power of a woman’s body just absolutely amazes me! After 13 hours of all-natural labor I brought our beautiful daughter into this world and I wouldn’t change a single bit of it. Every stretch mark, every extra pound, every powerful contraction, and every painful stitch from the tears…They all brought me to the most wonderful thing in my life so far: motherhood.

051109-anon-1

Happy Mother’s Day!

Bonnie (SOAM) Body Image, My Own Ramblings, News 3 Comments

To all you who have participated.
To all you who have read the site and passed it on.
To all of you who have been empowered.
To all of you who have been relieved.
To those with stretch marks and those without.
To those who no longer recognize their bodies, and those who bounced back.
You who are uncertain you could ever appreciate your body again.
You who grew, nourished, and loved the tiny person who came from your body.
And to you who have no child to hold this day – you are mothers, too.

There is so much we have to fight for as women and as mothers. Today let’s take just a little bit of our dignity back. Today you should appreciate your body in any small way that you can, and today you will forgive yourself a little of the pain of trying to fit physically into this Barbie world. Today – give yourself a happy Mother’s Day.

I hope your day is lovely and that your family pampers you accordingly! Blessings to mamas everywhere!

9 Months PP (Rochelle)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Teen Mom 13 Comments

When I was 14 I was raped by my father (who is now in jail for it) and life just seemed to have left me after that. One night I went for a walk to clear my head like almost every night and ran into someone who changed everything. I was only 15 when I got pregnant with my beautiful son. I was afraid but I trusted his father to be by my side. At about 8 months pregnant he had cheated on me which caused the relationship to end. With all the bad times I was facing I cried nearly every night. Every time I cried or just got mad at the world my son would kick and move around as if to let me know someone was there. Even though i got back with his father a couple months after he was born he left to another city so the past seven months i raised him myself. He will be back soon to help though!! I live with my mom on the agreement that I do chores and babysit when needed. Other then that I haven’t went out once on my own since his father moved.
My breasts are now completely covered in stretch marks and have headed south I’m afraid. (I also breastfed & still am!) They were once a very perky 34D. I also got stretch marks on my butt & thighs, but i didn’t get stretch marks on my stomach til the last few weeks. I think that when i decide I’m through with children and a bit older i’ll get a breast lift. I hate the fact I can’t wear the clothes I use to without embarrassment of the stretch marks or that I can’t go braless. I was thinking to maybe try to wear a bikini though after I find some more empowerment. Thankfully I have a high metabolism. 111 lbs prepregnancy, 143 near the end, & currently 103 at 5’3″. Also he was 8lbs & 3oz & I love him more then anything else.
GOODLUCK TO EVERYONE!!!

Age: 16
PP: 9 months
Number of Pregnancies: 1

Pics
1.) Before
2.) Day of Birth
3.) Tummy 9month pp
4.) another tummy
5.) boobs
6.) inner thigh
7.) outer thigh
8.) After (9 month pp)
9.) the most precious gift in the world

1 Month After Delivering a Baby (Brittney)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 23 Comments

Brittney
1 month after delivering a baby
Still trying to accept my body
My age: 19
# of pregnancies: 1

I’m a 19 year old mother and absolutely hate my new body! Before becoming pregnant I was a size 00 and I weighed 100 lbs! I am so depressed! I totally regret eating as much as I did while I was pregnant, and like the healthiest thing I ate was a cookie! If I knew what I didn’t know during pregnancy I’d do it all over again! I wouldn’t have gained as much weight as I did! I think that’s why I ruined my body! During pregnancy I gained 62lbs! I’m down to 129lbs and it’s been since March 2nd. I automatically thought I would go back to my size after having my baby. Little did i know I was wrong. I’m only 19 years old and I have stretch marks that cover my stomach. I will no longer be able to wear shirts that show my stomach or a bikini. I want laser surgery or whatever anything to get rid of them. I hate being body continuous. I’ve never been like this before! The pictures in the bikini and the yellow shirt by the car is before I had my little girl and the pictures in the black, and hoodie are after baby and yellow shirt and there’s a picture of what my stomach looks like :(

I Wish I Could Love My Body (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 12 Comments

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. Ive never been the thinnest girl walking around, but I didn’t realize how nice my body was, until after I became pregnant. I had an easy pregnancy for the most part. I traveled a lot, to and from Australia where my boyfriend was from. He ended up leaving me when i was 32 weeks pregnant and I had to move back to Canada. My body went through hell and back after he left me. I kept losing weight because I was so depressed and my doctors started to worry about me. I gained all together about 30lbs even though near the end I lost some. I got stretch marks starting at 4 months. No matter what I tried, and how many times a day I put it on, they kept coming. I hated it. My son was born a healthy 6lbs 13oz on November 22, 2008. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and all my worries and stress just floated away the second I saw his face. Being a single mother is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I’m sure Its going to be a struggle everyday for years to come. But when I see my son smile, it takes away all those fears, on that day, that I may have. Everyday when I see the stretch marks, and saggy skin on my belly and my uneven saggy breasts from nursing, I hate myself a little bit more. I wish I could have appreciated my old body, before becoming pregnant. I’m trying to see the beauty in the stretch marks, and the fact I grew an amazing son inside of me for 9 months, but it is hard. I try to tell myself that I am still good looking but the truth is, I cannot stand to look at my self in the mirror most days. I haven’t had a chance to start going to the gym, I don’t have the time. Between trying to take care of him and myself and our busy life, there just isn’t time to fit in a work out. One day, I hope Ill love my body again. Until then, Ill just do what I know I can do best, and that is raise my son to be a loving, caring man.

My age – 20
Number of pregnancies and births – 1
I am 4.5 months postpartum

Updated here, here and here.