Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

18 Months Postpartum, Update (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 15 Comments

I submitted here when my daughter was 12 months old.

I’d like to say that I’ve reached my weight loss goal over the last six months, but the truth is that the scale has barely budged a pound. I’ve been running three times a week, though, and have started to really enjoy it. I’m noticing some changes in my body, my clothes are definitely fitting better, and I’m learning that exercise isn’t just about losing/maintaining weight, but that it also has a huge mental health component. Like most women who post on this site, I struggle with body image. What frustrates me the most is that, when I am feeling stress about anything, I take it out on my body and attack myself.

My husband an I are considering a second pregnancy at the moment, and I really struggle with the idea of being pregnant before I reach my post-partum weight. What frightens me more, however, is that I suffered from depression during my first pregnancy and afterwards, and though it was treated fairly early on and I’ve recovered wonderfully, I am terrified of going through it again. I am speaking with a counselor at the moment about my fears, and am trying to accept my body the way it is and to stop wanting to change it. Life is too short, I think all of the time. I wish I could just shut off the part of my brain that focuses on hating my body. I have a daughter I love so much, and the idea of her suffering in this way just makes me want to weep. I know that I need to learn to love my own body before I can teach her that she is perfect just the way she is (even though of course I will teach her that.) I want to be a role model for her– of someone who might not fit the ridiculous physical ideal of our culture, but who loves herself inside and out. Thanks to everyone on here for posting their stories. We are all beautiful.

These photos are of me 18 months post-partum.

Updated here.

6 Months Postpartum & Still Looking 6 Months Pregnant (Bry)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions, Tattoo 83 Comments

I first want to say that I love this site. I visit everyday to read new stories and get encouragement, thank you all!

I am 25 years old and gave birth to my daughter on Oct 30, 2008. I hated being pregnant… every bit of it. I was uncomfortable the whole time and I gained weight like it was my job. The day I found out I was pregnant I weighed 129. During my last OB appt I weighed 197! And I am only 4’11”, so I was HUGE! I was also given pitocin for 24+ hours during labor to speed things up, and retained a ton of water due to that. Most of the stretchmarks on my legs are from when I was in labor. Within a week of giving birth I had already lost more than 30 lbs. So I thought the weight was going to come off so easily, boy was I wrong! I am now 6 months postpartum and I am still weighing 165, only 5 lbs less then I was 1 week postpartum. I now were a size 16 (I was a size 6 pre-baby), which makes me feel so awful. Large shirts in the womens section do not fit me, so I am still wearing my maternity shirts, which is just sad. Summer is right around the corner and I do not own one article of summer clothing that fits me. I cannot believe I have let myself go on like this for so long. The whole time I was pregnant I kept saying, ‘I can’t wait to be able to diet again’ or ‘as soon as I can I will be exercising my butt off to lose this weight…’ and so on and so fourth. I don’t know why I haven’t. I need to get serious. I hate the way I look and I hate the way I feel about myself. In my title I say I still look 6 months pregnant, but now that I think about it, I probably looked better when I was 6 months pregnant than I do now. I hope to submit and update in a few months and will have made some weight loss progress by then. Wish me luck!

What Happened to my Body (Texas)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

i am 35 and have a 2 almost 3 yr old.i gained about 70 lbs with her.i was always a sexy full woman.i was a 10-12 now12-14.i hate my ugly body so much my wonderful hubby never gets to see me naked.i feel like Norbits wife(in the movie Norbit).when she goes to the pool and they ask her if she’s wearing bottoms and has to lift her belly…lol..i used to have great boobs, now they are still big but one nipple points down and the other one points wherever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my daughter is the love of my life i dont regret her . but what did she do to body!!!!!!!!!!!!i had a 10lbs baby and lost 20 right away and i have lost alot but now i have the “dunlap” belly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what gives.i look awful naked..i wanna love it again…texas

I don’t feel beautiful anymore!… (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

First off I’d like to say how amazing this site is. After browsing through everyone’s story and pictures, I’ve realized what real women look like, and that im not the only one going through this stage of not feeling beautiful.

I have a wonderful supporting boyfriend that I have been with for over 2 years. Each and every day he tells me how attractive I am, how beautiful ive always been and that im even more beautiful now. But some how I cant bring myself to believe him.I think if I dont feel this way about myself than why would he. Hes my boyfriend and I know he wouldnt want to hurt my feelings, thats why I think he gives me all these complements.

When my boyfriend and I started dating I was 5″7 115lbs, and I absolutely loved my body. Around that same time I was going through alot of family troubles and I gained 15 lbs throughout the year I was with him..I told myself I can deal with being 5″7 and 130lbs.. I was still very confidant and loved the way I looked.

Then 9 months ago I found out that I was 15 weeks pregnant, at only 18 years old..I will be 19 on May 4th,even being a young adult I had people look down on me because I am so young and having a baby.. I had no idea that I was pregnant, I didnt gain weight, I didnt have any symptons that I could be pregnant. Then all of a sudden my periods started going all different, so I went to get checked out. When I found out I was pregnant , I was very scared and happy all at the same time. I never really thought about how my body was going to change because I had more important things to worry about.

I am now 40 Weeks + 2, my due date was on April 22nd,2009. So really I can have this baby any day now. The pregnancy has been great, ive had no problems. I actually liked being pregnant, up until 8 months. I had no stretch marks , and i didnt gain that much weight.I felt great, I had tons of energy. Because I didnt have any stretch marks tell I was 8months pregnant I didnt think id get them at all..So I didnt always put cream and oil on, and that was a huge mistake, my stretch marks are now disgusting. I now weigh close to 190lbs.

I know that my stomach,butt,thighs and overall my whole body will never look the same again. I will try my hardest to look the best I can after this pregnancy, because I know I will never feel good about myself again if my body looks the way it does now.

I have attached a few pictures of before I was 8 months pregnant, 8months pregnant and now. I will update what I look like after I give birth. Whenever this baby decides to come lol..

Young Mama, 3 Babies, Ex-Stripper (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Homebirth, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 12 Comments

Ripe, Soft and fertile..

I was 57kg with 10c bust for seven years before pregnancy number 1 at age 23. (first two photos)

Danced till I was 12 weeks pregnant- then left because I was self conscious of my rounded tummy.

Put on 30kg rocketed to a 14ee bust and naturally birthed (No Drugs) Son 9pd. An alert energetic soul born after a 10 hour first labour.

I religiously oiled myself with jojoba daily and didn’t get a single stretchmark on my tummy, yet my milk engorged breasts were fanned with them.

Got back down to 64kg back stripping at 7 months post partum. (pink bikini photo)

Pregnancy number two had me rocket up to 95kg. a grand gain of 38kg over my original weight.

Yet I danced Until I was 20 weeks. I kept the weight down until then and had a wonderful 1950’s style outfit- corset/stockings/suspenders and no-one noticed!! I just made my hair bigger and lipstick redder!!! My final night I was dancing to raise the money for the liquor for my wedding.

I married the next week, my belly finally popped and we announced the pregnancy at the ceremony.

I was sad that I couldn’t have the dress of my dreams, nor a hens night…due to my pregnancy.

I was terribly self conscious and sad- I felt like I had to apologise as to why I was so heavy.

I couldn’t find clothes to fit, I even went up a shoe size to a size 10 (Aus) I was a size 18-20.

However, during the pregnancy I had an overall sense of calmness and ended up with a 5hr Labour.

naturally birthing unassisted my second son- 10pd. Born into water in our loungeroom. The most loving gentle soul I have ever met.

I didn’t lose any weight after the birth and was constantly being asked by strangers and friends I hadn’t seen in a while- “When” your baby due??” (Sometimes even when I was holding my newborn”

My answer was always cheerful- “I’ve HAD my baby! It just takes a while for my tummy to go back!”

But It never did. Breastfeeding, Physio, Gym, remedial massage, diets.. Nothing worked.. I still looked pregnant 16 weeks later, when indeed I did conceive and fill it with another baby..

Terrified of another enormous gain on top of the current weight- Under supervision- I hit the gym.

Best thing I ever did. I ended the pregnancy lighter than I started.

Another Natural Birth- 1HR 15MINS active labour 9pd 6oz baby girl.

So now, Im back to 84kg and have a realistic goal of a 14kg weight loss.

Two weeks after the birth I awoke to a spread of stretchmarks across my lower abdomen.

I laughed..after all the pregnancies- I couldn’t believe that the tiny tummy of my daughters had caused the marks!

I am now at peace with my body- and yes, I wore a bikini three weeks post partum in Bali. (last photo)

3 kids in- I earn’t my curves and know that in my old age I will look back on these days as the best years of my life.

Blessed with Youth, Ripe, soft and fertile..

3 pregnancies, 2 children, and pregnant with what we think are multiples! (Leigh)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 11 Comments

Hi ladies! I am a (25 year old) mother of 2 right now, and pregnant for the 4Th time! We were pregnant with natural fraternal twins in 2004, but sadly lost them due to complications @ week 12. Now we are pretty sure we’re expecting twins again, if not more. We are both terrified and excited at the same time, it’s crazy!

I got a positive EPT on 3/19 then took 3 more because I thought they were lying to me. I had NO symptoms at all, which is odd for me. With my other 3 pregnancies I threw up if I even HEARD the word eggs & heaven help anyone within 5 feet of me if I smelled any kind of meat cooking.

I ended up in the ER 2 days later with spotting & cramps. They checked for a heartbeat, and found none. Since my periods are random I got an U/S to find out a due date & to check on baby. I hear this “Oh dear. I see 2 sacks but 1 may be a blood-pocket, so don’t worry if you have more bleeding.” I got no other information, and was terrified.

Well I got home and ended up searching the net for 7+ hours for blood pocket info. Then started freaking out about it, and then started relaxing when I saw that many women have had them and not lost their babies. Still I was/am scared and my OB couldn’t get me in until 4/26! I just want to know how many little humans I’m growing and if they’re OK.

I am 10 weeks along now and have gained 20lbs already! My 1st preg. I gained 13lbs, and got SM’s on my butt and breasts. #2 I gained maybe 15lbs and preg. ended at 12 weeks. #3 I gained 40lbs, became a Gestational Diabetic, expanded the SM’s on my butt (I couldn’t stop itching it) plus new ones on my thighs.

I think I am going to gain a lot more, and will probably get more SM’s, maybe even on my tummy this time. Being just 25, and having body image issue anyhow, I worry about it. Especially if it IS twins! I am scared to see the aftermath. What if hubby doesn’t want to touch me after? I already worry about that now, and have few stretch marks. :(

I want to share my some pictures with you all, and I plan to take a new picture every week to build a collage. Finding this site has helped me see that 1) I am NOT alone in my feelings & fears; 2) Bodies after birth are BEAUTIFUL, they really really are; and 3) Our bodies really don’t look as bad as we think they do!

Pic #1 – 8 1/2 months pregnant with my daughter
Pic #2 – 8 weeks along with my son.
Pic #3 – 16 weeks along with my son.
Pic #4 – 9 weeks current preg.
Pic #5 – 10 weeks with current preg.

I dunno, I am pretty sure its twins if not more, but that is just my opinion! Well thank you for reading this, and looking at my pictures. Hopefully I will keep taking pictures up until the end, and hopefully post partum as well to share!

2nd Pregnancy and still loving it – 21 weeks preggo (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

Previous entry can be seen here.

Here I am at 21 weeks with our second child. I would be happy to keep you guys posted on this pregnancy with progression pic submissions from this point out but I just don’t want to steal space from others. I’d like to invite all to shoot me an email to chat at rachelsigfried@yahoo.com.

Updated here.

Still Trying to Cope (Victoria)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 4 Comments

Im 19 and im still coming to terms that my body changed. I gave birth 21months ago and I thought my body would go back to normal like when my mother gave birth to me but no that didn’t happen. I wasn’t skinny before but a normal weight for my body I just thought that it would be the same but no. My partner tells me i shouldn’t care or worry he loves me no matter what and has told me my tummy has gone down more
But its what i feel.

~Age:19
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy
~The age of your child: 21 months

Photo 1 is me today.
Photo 2 is me pregnant.
Photo 3 the last day I was pregnant.
Photo 4 My pride and joy. Daughter.

Updated here.

Coping with my body, a year after having baby number 1 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant. It was probably the scariest moment in my life so far, I knew I would keep the baby but I had no idea how to raise a child, I was still one myself. The fear turned into joy the moment I felt the first little kick from my baby, when I was 18 weeks pregnant on a flight across the country. From that moment on I was excited, my boyfriend who was 23 at the time took a little bit longer to accept the idea but eventually became happy with the idea he was going to be a daddy. I found out when I was 20 weeks along that I was going to have a girl. I had never really given much thought to having babies before, but I always knew if I were to have a baby, I wanted a girl so it was a very pleasant surprise when the ultrasound tech told me, its a girl. She printed out pictures for us and we went to the nearest baby store and bought our baby her first little pink outfit. My pregnancy went very well, I had no complications at all and felt fantastic almost the entire time, no morning sickness or anything not even any cravings! I didnt get stretch marks until I was 40 weeks pregnant. I was actually very upset when I saw the first ones in the mirror, and they kept coming. I had used cocoa butter for he first 37 weeks and then stopped because my mother told me her stretchmarks appeared when she was 30 weeks so I thought I was safe-WRONG. I only got stretchmarks on my belly though so I guess Im lucky that way. My birth went well, I was 42 weeks and had to be induced so I got the epidural fairly fast so I was only in pain for an hour maybe. 28 minutes of pushing and my beautiful little girl was looking me in the eyes. My first thought was “wow, she can really scream”. I was scared, but I have never felt happier in my life, I felt relief that the pregnancy was over (going 2 weeks overdue gets very uncomfortable) and I was sp happy to finally hold my 7 pound 12 ounce baby girl. I was 110 pounds pre pregnancy and at the very end I was 151. I lost 20 of it in the hospital, so going home I looked a lot smaller than I did when I went in. 6 weeks after I thought I was doing great but it seems like I have not gotten any smaller or in any better shape since the 6 week PP mark. I weigh 115 pounds but I still feel a lot bigger than I did pre baby. I have love handels that make my body look muffin like in any pair of jeans I wear. The only thing that did not change on my body was my breasts, they stayed almost the same as pre pregnancy. I notice they arent quite as perky but my boyfriend doesnt notice a difference. I feel so bad around all my other 20 year old friends who are in great shape and can wear tight clothes and not worry though. My daughter is worth every extra pound and all my stretchmarks, but I still wish I looked better. I have other friends who had children around the time I had mine and they look way better than I do, and its a little upsetting. My stretchmarks have faded but they are still very noticable.
Im glad this site exists, so women can share their stories and feelings. I have a hard time talking to people about how I feel about my body because I dont want to seem like Im complaining or fishing for compliments. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and I look forward to reading yours too.

051809-anon-1

Wondering How My Postpartum Body Will Look? (Colorado Mama To Be)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Question, Submissions 11 Comments

First off, this site is truly amazing. What incredible women you all are! My situation: I am 27 and just found out I am pregnant. It was a total accident, but I love my boyfriend and am not entirely opposed to having a baby. But we are both currently unemployed, which makes for a VERY scary situation bringing a baby into this world.

As many of you were, I’m terrified of the stretch marks and loose skin associated with pregnancy. I was an athlete in a Division-I college, and although that was eight years ago, I have since lost the definition and strength that I once had. This has resulted in a negative self-image. I know this may be impossible to tell, but I’m wondering how my body will react to pregnancy. Does anyone have similar skin and/or stomach/breast shape? I know we’re all different, but I’m just trying to get an idea of how I might look postpartum, and whether I can handle that emotionally. I am 5’5 and 152 pounds. My mother had average stretch marks that faded over time. Thanks so much for any input =)