Coping with my body, a year after having baby number 1 (Anonymous)

When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant. It was probably the scariest moment in my life so far, I knew I would keep the baby but I had no idea how to raise a child, I was still one myself. The fear turned into joy the moment I felt the first little kick from my baby, when I was 18 weeks pregnant on a flight across the country. From that moment on I was excited, my boyfriend who was 23 at the time took a little bit longer to accept the idea but eventually became happy with the idea he was going to be a daddy. I found out when I was 20 weeks along that I was going to have a girl. I had never really given much thought to having babies before, but I always knew if I were to have a baby, I wanted a girl so it was a very pleasant surprise when the ultrasound tech told me, its a girl. She printed out pictures for us and we went to the nearest baby store and bought our baby her first little pink outfit. My pregnancy went very well, I had no complications at all and felt fantastic almost the entire time, no morning sickness or anything not even any cravings! I didnt get stretch marks until I was 40 weeks pregnant. I was actually very upset when I saw the first ones in the mirror, and they kept coming. I had used cocoa butter for he first 37 weeks and then stopped because my mother told me her stretchmarks appeared when she was 30 weeks so I thought I was safe-WRONG. I only got stretchmarks on my belly though so I guess Im lucky that way. My birth went well, I was 42 weeks and had to be induced so I got the epidural fairly fast so I was only in pain for an hour maybe. 28 minutes of pushing and my beautiful little girl was looking me in the eyes. My first thought was “wow, she can really scream”. I was scared, but I have never felt happier in my life, I felt relief that the pregnancy was over (going 2 weeks overdue gets very uncomfortable) and I was sp happy to finally hold my 7 pound 12 ounce baby girl. I was 110 pounds pre pregnancy and at the very end I was 151. I lost 20 of it in the hospital, so going home I looked a lot smaller than I did when I went in. 6 weeks after I thought I was doing great but it seems like I have not gotten any smaller or in any better shape since the 6 week PP mark. I weigh 115 pounds but I still feel a lot bigger than I did pre baby. I have love handels that make my body look muffin like in any pair of jeans I wear. The only thing that did not change on my body was my breasts, they stayed almost the same as pre pregnancy. I notice they arent quite as perky but my boyfriend doesnt notice a difference. I feel so bad around all my other 20 year old friends who are in great shape and can wear tight clothes and not worry though. My daughter is worth every extra pound and all my stretchmarks, but I still wish I looked better. I have other friends who had children around the time I had mine and they look way better than I do, and its a little upsetting. My stretchmarks have faded but they are still very noticable.
Im glad this site exists, so women can share their stories and feelings. I have a hard time talking to people about how I feel about my body because I dont want to seem like Im complaining or fishing for compliments. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and I look forward to reading yours too.


10 thoughts on “Coping with my body, a year after having baby number 1 (Anonymous)

  • Monday, May 18, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I think you look beautiful. I am 23 weeks and I can only hope to look as good as you after I have my baby!!

  • Monday, May 18, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Oh hun!! You look outstanding!! It honnestly doesnt even look like you had a child! Seriously, if I looked like you, Id be wearing a bikini everywhere I went! :)

  • Monday, May 18, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Wow your belly is flatter than mine and I havent even had children lol Good Job Mama.

  • Monday, May 18, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    I’m almost 41 weeks now and just started getting stretch marks! Can you believe you can go so far and feel so lucky and then bam! :/ o well. i’m not going to treat you as if you need to be complemented, i’ll just tell you what i see. you have the best looking stretch marks i’ve ever seen. they are so small and faint, and your skin still looks really good and tight. i’m sure you’re not as tiht around the belly as you once were, but just do cardio and lots of situps and you’ll feel better about yourself. your frieds who are 20 with motherless bodys are missing something you’re not: an amazing, life altering experience and a beautiful baby girl. The other girls who gave birth around the time you did who “look better” i’m sure really dont. we have a way of looking at ourselves and picking and exagerating EVERYTHING. You have a great shape- very sexy, and i hope my skin, belly and stretch marks look just like yours. I’m being induced on friday, i’ll post here within a few months I’m sure. :)

  • Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 9:09 am

    I think you look amazing! How tall are you? I had my first baby in June 06 and second December 07. Anyway, I am 5’7 and weigh around 118. I work out 4 times a week, have a flat stomach and still deal with the love handles. The love handles give you the curves you need to look like a woman. ;)

  • Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    You look great… it looks like you have defined obliques, not love handles! Your stretch marks are going to vanish since they are already this light, just be patient. You have a great outlook on your experience even though you may feel different at times, keep your head up!

  • Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    ive had 3 kids. and never had stretch marks. not one. thank god. than again im 27 and i take very good care of myself. good luck with potty training

  • Saturday, December 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    My daughter is almost 9 months and honestly I still have the baby pudge I weighed 137 when I found out I was pregnant, and 194 the day I went in to have her at 42 weeks. I think you look awesome I could only imagine my tummy looking like that…

  • Monday, May 3, 2010 at 6:00 am

    those arent love handles girl theyre hips! we get those with a baby enjoy them they make dresses look great! show em off!

  • Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 1:56 am

    i was 19 when i found out i was pregnant with my son scared to death about havein him and dealin with all the pain at 4 mo i got kicked in the belly and almost lost him then i was on bed reast for a while then i started gettin these strech marks that were so ugly and nasty then as my belly grew it look even more nasty it hit me when my shirts didnt fit me any more broke down and started cryin it took my boyfriend a little more time to get ready for baby all he wanted to do is play video games 23 years old i felt like i was the only one that was growing up i started getting depressed cuz my family didnt want me cuz i wanted to keep him then i enjoyed the last few week of my pregnacy was in labor 3 days the hospital didnt want to take me til my water broke so when i get to the hospital i ask for my pain meds it worked for 15 mins then i started feelin my contractions and they hurt so bad i had rude people that kept telling me to shut up and stop screamin so my boyfriend kept walkin out the room wouldnt hold my hand i had his grandma and my mom fighting had no support at all so by the 4 day i had to have a c section cuz the pain meds wasnt workin for me after my c section my baby was 9 lbs 16 oz i couldnt hold my baby for 2 days cuz of all the meds in my system when i was able to walk around i was in so much pain went to the bathroom and cryied my belly was so nasty the stiches was bleeding in the hospital i was there for 2 weeks i had the baby blues couldnt sleep coulnt eat didnt want nothin to do with my baby after 9 moim still depressed i dont have the same friends my boyfriend doesnt help he lives with me but all he wasnt to do is play video games and go out to party they say guys go through a withdrawl but i didnt think it was goin to be like this only me gettin up in the middle of the night only me takein him to doctors only me buying what he needs its not fair i get no time for my self and hes always to busy to watch or play with him my son started callin other people daddy after 9 mo of havin him my body is not the same and i see all these girls walkin around with short shorts and tight tang tops it hurts a lot cuz i dont think im ever gonna get back to my normal size but one thing my son jayden is my life he always makes me smile hes always happy i know my life wont be the same but i just wish i had better controll over everythin

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