Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

12 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

I’m 36 and three months pregnant with number two!! I’ll be 37 at delivery, so I’m technically an “older mom” although I don’t feel like one. My son Zac is 12, so I spaced them out a bit :) I actually posted here a few years ago, just as I was starting to think about having another baby. It’ll be fun to take this journey again as an older and wiser momma. My first pregnancy was awesome, and this one will be awesome plus 12 years. 12 years of gaining insight on things that matter, and calming the hell down about things that don’t. This site helps us all to do that I think. I just felt compelled to include you among my friends to share the happy news with. Here’s me and the new kid at 12 and a half weeks.

070609-anon3-1

1 Year Postpartum With Twins (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 18 Comments

1 year postpartum with twins
anonymous
29 yrs old

I gave birth to twins last July, time really does fly when you have kids!

My little girl weighed in at 6lb2oz and my little boy at 6lbs14oz. I made it to 38 weeks and had a scheduled c-section. I was huge as you can tell from my pic. I am a pretty small person so it was really rough at the end carrying around of the 53 pounds I gained with the pregnancy. I developed HELLP syndrome at the very end, it wasn’t discovered until the morning of the delivery strangely enough.

I am okay with how my body looks most of the time now, although I do miss my old perfect stomach that I will never have back. I was going to buy a one piece swimsuit for the summer but I thought “why should I cover up my wrinkly twin skin? I should be proud and show off the belly that produced my two absolutely perfect, beautiful babies. :)

Although…. if I could get rid of the damn stretchmarks I would in a heartbeat!

The Doctor Said I Need a Breast Lift, WHY? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 32 Comments

Age: 27
Pregnancies: 3
Five months PP

I consulted a cosmetic surgeon about having cosmetic surgery. I wanted breast implants to plump them back up a bit as they are a bit smaller than they were before baby number three, but was told that I needed a breast lift too. I don’t mind about implant scars, as they are in the arm pit, and tiny. But I feel that an uplift operation involves too much obvious scarring, and would make me look worse, not better!!!!!!

I personally don’t think I need them lifting anywhere, unless he wants to put them on my shoulders!!! I may be wrong, I don’t know!

So, I got to thinking, is there a need for me to have this done, or is this man trying to make as much money as he can from vunerable women who feel so bad about them selves after having a baby that they get procedures carried out just because a doctor said they need it done?

I can see a need for a breast lift operation for some people, as the results can be amazing, but I question if cosmetic surgery is being offered to readilly, and to people who don’t really need it. It’s like people have become customers, not patients.

In the early stages after having a baby (I’ve had three), I always get down about the way I look, but I am kind of offended that the doctor I consulted seems to be taking advantage of this.

So, please beware if you are seeking any surgery after child birth!!!!

And, needless to say, I won’t be having a breast lift operation (although the implants still sound good if I can find another doctor)

Happy Birthday, SOAM!!

Bonnie (SOAM) Collaborative, News, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement 18 Comments

birthday-card

Three years ago today, I created the first post for this website. I agonized over whether this idea would succeed or if it would fall flat on its face. I begged my friends to submit photos and to pass the word on. And then within a month, I was receiving thousands of hits daily, had done an interview on Canadian radio, other interviews for online magazines and was absolutely floored to have been featured in the London Guardian. The immediate success of the site speaks volumes about how desperately such a source was needed.

I am honored to have been a part of this and honored that you all have been on this journey with me. We have made a difference already in this world, but we have a lot more work to do. So today, as a present to this website, say something nice about your mama body. You don’t have to mean it yet – that will come later – you just have to get the words out of your mouth. After all your body worked hard for you and your babies. Give it some thanks and admiration. Leave me a comment here telling me what you said and then pass along the link to this page to all your mama friends.

Here’s to another year and many more!

(Thanks to Dave Flota Photography for use of the photo!)

Embracing the New Me (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I am a 36 year-old mom to 3 kids, each 2 years apart. Had my babies at 29, 31, 33 years of age. Before kinder, I weighed 130 lbs, and was very slim, due to genetics and regular exercise. Now, after 8 years, 3 kids, 4 pregancies (lost one in between) and a full time job, this is “me”. I’m now at 135 lbs, and am pretty proud at how close I’ve managed to get back down to ‘pre-pregnancy’ weight. It’s taken 6 months of focused exercising to get me to where I’m at, and know that another 6 months will see the last few pounds disappear too.

However, I must admit, I still don’t like the baby “bump”, but am learning to embrace my new shape. I have found much comfort in this site, and wanted to return the favor. I don’t even mind the stretch marks, I consider them my ‘war wounds’ and they remind me of my 3 wonderful pregnancies all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Will I ever get my 29 year old body back? Likely not. But I will do my best to be my best. So far, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made but will continue to work towards attaining my true prepregnancy weight but am ok with the knowledge that it will take time. Slow and steady wins the race? For sure! I’m on my way …

3 Babies in 5 Years and a New Body (Jean)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Vulva/Vaginal Damage 10 Comments

I got pregnant at 18 and got stretch marks at 5 months in. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl 7lbs 5oz, then another baby girl 2 1/2 years later weighing 7 lbs 15oz. Again 2 1/2 year later a little boy weighing 7lbs 9oz. I included their weights because they are all very average but I look like I gave birth to 10 lbers. Although I did gain a considerable amount of weight that came off FAST

One Year Ago Today (Zahra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breech Baby, Cesarean, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo 11 Comments

We found out we were pregnant with Rory 6 weeks after having a miscarriage. I know we were so blessed for it to happen so quickly. I was so excited to be pregnant and really focused on enjoying the pregnancy despite our concerns that we would lose another baby. I have always had to work very hard to maintain my weight, I was never one of those people who could eat whatever I wanted or just lay around. I was active my entire pregnancy and continued to jog up till the day I went into labor. I was not extremely indulgent, I never ate entire bags, boxes, or cartons of anything. In the 42 weeks I was pregnant, I gained 35 pounds, which I didn’t feel was too bad. I loved being pregnant and I loved my growing belly.

We had an amazing midwife and had full intentions of having a water birth at a free standing birth center. When they offered to give us a tour of the hospital “just in case” we declined because I was so sure that I was having my baby in the birth center why would I waste my time visiting the hospital?! Let’s just say thank God the Birth Center mandates preregistration at the hospital…

Shortly after returning home from a wedding on June 14, 2008, my water broke and regular contractions soon began. After 10 hours, my husband and I decided it was time to go to the birth center as we had an hour drive ahead of us, we did not want to go too early because they only have 3 birthing rooms and we knew they would send us home if I was not far enough along. When we arrived our midwife instructed 2 students to begin filling the tub while she checked me – that’s when I saw the look on her face. She said ” I have good news and bad news, the good news is you’re 7 cm dialated, the bad news is my finger is in your baby’s butt!”…I knew we would have to go to the hospital, that was that. In the long run, it was wonderful, the hospital was fine, the cesarean was no big deal, and we got to take home the greatest souvenir ever, our baby Rory.

I went home from the hospital 10 pounds heavier than when I went in…I gained 10 pounds of fluid, I went the entire pregnancy with not so much as a swollen finger and went home looking like the stay puff marshmallow man. Still I thought, no big deal, I was nursing and I ate well, so the weight would just fall off…right? Not quite, it stayed and stayed and did not budge, all my friends were back in their jeans in a few months and I was still wearing maternity pants 5 months pp…..finally, slowly but surely after I stopped nursing upon returning to work, it started to budge little by little. It’s still a struggle, I have to watch what I eat and work out 5-6 days a week, but I knew that would be the case. I firmly believe in the theory of 9 on and 9 off! Happy Birthday to my Muffin, I can’t believe it’s been a year. I am so amazed that my body produced him. He is the joy of my life, he makes me love my husband more and more. I pray that we will be blessed once again to give him a sibling. He amazes me every day!

1st pic 37 weeks pregnant, 2nd 5 days pp, 3rd 3 months before pregnancy, 4th-6th pic 1 year pp, 7th pic our family

~ Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 year

PPD vs “Baby Blues” (Crystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, PPD - Postpartum Depression, Submissions, Tattoo 12 Comments

age:22
1st pregnancy
1 child
my daughter’s name is Lily and she is 3 months
i am exactly 3 mo and 3 days post partum

I found this website through just googling other women’s postpartum stories. I really love this website because it makes me feel a little “normal”. Sometimes I feel the issues I’ve been going through are only happening to me. Here is my story…I’m really reaching out for anyone’s advice or if anyone has been through this same thing.

My beautiful daughter Lily was born March 12, 2009. The first 2 weeks after she was born I felt amazing. I would just melt like butter holding her in my arms just looking at her. I was proud to be a mom and I still am to this day. It felt like I had also found a new love for my husband. I’ve always considered him the love of my life and after Lily was born it felt deeper. Like our connection was more intimate. My sex drive was high and I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. I loved my new body without the big pregnant belly. I also enjoyed my workouts at the gym every other day. I was so dedicated to the gym that I would just take my daughter along with me and leave her in the carseat right in front of my treadmill. I didn’t want to miss a workout.

I’m not too sure when it began to happen it seemed like my feelings started to turn for the worse little by little. It sort of came out of nowhere. All of the sudden I started to become a little lazier and making excuses not to go to the gym anymore. I stay at home with Lily and when my husband was at work I would find myself picking fights with him over text messages. The fights would get so extreme I would threaten to leave. When he would get home I honestly wouldn’t really remember just what exactly I was so mad about. I would get so mad to the point where I really just wanted to hit something. This is when I noticed that things were a little off with me. I’ve never been in a physical fight ever. This sort of anger is out of my character. Then my sex drive seemed to almost disappear over night. At first I just thought it would go away all of these strange feelings that I was having. I tried to just say that I wasn’t in the mood to my husband hoping he wouldn’t notice that it had been several days since the last time we made love. Of course that didn’t work and he began to think he was the problem why I wasn’t in the mood. I finally sat down with him and explained all the things I was feeling. I told him how lazy I was feeling, how angry I had been for no reason, how I was not interested in sex at all, and also how much I now hated my body.

I’ve been reading a lot online and talking to friends about this. Some signs pointed toward the “baby blues” diagnosis and some was the postpartum depression. I’m worried because my mother, father, and both sisters are all on anti-depressants. I’m wondering if maybe that made me more likely to have stronger emotions with this postpartum time of my life. I made an appointment for my Dr. to discuss this because my husband and I agree we can’t just let this go on and continue to argue over these things. Has anyone else went through any of this? Is there any kind of advice that helped anyone with the same issues? I just want to know I’m not the only one.

the pictures are of my belly today at 3 mo and 3 days post partum and our daughter Lily at 3 months old