Third Pregnancy

Liberation from my Mommy Body (Lauren)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

Age: 27
3 pregnancies/3 live births
Children Ages: 8yrs, 3yrs and 7mos. 7 months postpartum

I told myself when I decided to sit down and write this that I would be honest……..not only with myself but my readers as well. I’ve always struggled with my body image and self-esteem. Seeing my body as something beautiful has always been a difficult thing for me. I’ve always been short, had big legs that were mismatched from my body and I’ve always been kind of awkward. After having children that struggle has become more of a battle, a war within myself. I have yet to lose a lot of my pregnancy weight, in fact I’ve put some weight on. Mostly in part because I’ve created such an elaborate love affair with food and also because in some ways I’ve given up. I look in the mirror and see a disfigured belly from the three different times it’s stretched and un-stretched, breasts that sag due to breastfeeding and that space between my thighs that used to be somewhat cute and never touched, now it does. Oh, and how did I forget the stretchmarks that seem to cover all the parts of my body that are supposed to be beautiful.

Sitting here, writing this is difficult but I need to do this for me……….and for her. My sons have a strong, confident role model in their lives, I want to be that for her. I don’t want her to grow up and look up to the 95 pound pop star, I want her to look up to me. I wand to be the strong, influential woman in her life. Even if I never fully regain my pre-children figure, I want to love my body, for once feel beautiful in it. It has sheltered, birthed and nurtured three wonderful kids and the stretchmarks and weight are testimony to the lives it has created. I want my daughter to know that no matter what her body looks like, that she is beautiful and that she will be strong and I want her to learn that from me.

Update – The Shape that Love Built (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications During or After Birth, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

Original entry here.

Age: 24 (had a birthday since posting my last article lol)
Number of Births: 3
Ages of Children: 5 years old, 23 Months old, and 4 months old.

Hello again!! I just thought that I’d update on my post “The Shape That Love Built”. I still feel the way I did in that one. I really do. I look at myself in the mirror and see past the sagging breasts,flabby belly, chubby legs and dimpled bum… and say “helloooooooooo gorgeous!” I am updating for another reason… to let people know that I’ve been through a lot since I wrote that last post, I gave birth 2 days after submitting the article actually. My son was 9lbs even, my SMALLEST baby, the easiest birth, but the hardest to recover from. You see. Sometime during the birth… my right leg was paralyzed. It’s not permanent, and I CAN use it again, but it took 6 weeks for me to be able to walk unassisted (as in, without a walker, cane or wheelchair),
and its been about 6 or so weeks since I gained feeling and control back, and I still cant feel parts of my leg, or the bottom of my foot. My leg is incredibly weak now, and I need a brace to walk, otherwise my leg just folds up under its own weight. For a time, I thought and asked myself; why me? And a little while ago, I realized that the answer was sitting right here. It happened because it was supposed to. That’s the simple answer anyways. The longer answer is that it happened so that I can be the voice for other women and show them that yes… something terrible and physically happened to me during the birth of my son, but I still get out of bed every day, I still slide down the stairs on my bum like my toddler does, and I still make them
breakfast, pack my eldest’s lunch for school, and get lost in my youngest son’s smiling face. It happened because I am supposed to show women that they can do it too. That its ok to scream, cry, stamp your
feet in frustration, and grieve when something terrible happens. I am supposed to be their voice, and tell the people that made this happen to me that its not ok, that they stole my independence from me, and show them that its not ok to just sweep it under the rug or let them think that I’ve forgotten (believe me, I haven’t and I am reminded every time I can’t help my 5 year old practice for soccer, or race around the back yard with my toddler, or dance with my baby). I believe that I also have to tell other women that this has happened to… because they ARE out there, that even though one or both of your legs aren’t working for you the way you want them to, and you have a brace or a chair to help you walk… you are still beautiful and
perfect. My leg is swollen right now. I am not sure why, neither are the doctors who have been trying to figure it out. It dimples when someone presses on it, it has stretch marks, and its not “pretty” to look at… but that’s just a small part of the overall package. If its happened to you, I understand. Its hard to deal with, but we do what we have to. And that my friends is what makes us stronger than the strongest man, it makes us more beautiful than this year’s sexiest woman, and it makes us even better than we were before… why? Because we have to work harder for it to make things like going to get a cup of water, showering, and all those little things that people who don’t have to deal with the un-cooperative limbs take for granted. So, I
guess I’m saying that I believe that you are all still beautiful, strong, and wonderful people… and to never take your legs for granted. I also think that I needed to update for my own well-being. I needed to say out loud (or at least on a public site/board) that I’m ok, and that there are a lot worse cases out there. Its my own personal therapy. I guess… I needed to get it off of my chest. Its been a huge weight that I’ve had to bare for the past 4 months, and it feels really good to write this, and tell others my story, and to let them know… that it does get better because once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go after that is up.

My Story (Korin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Belly, Breastfeeding, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Third Pregnancy 7 Comments

Hi, My name is Korin. Im 24 years old. Mother of 3.

I used to be tiny, athletic, and very in tuned with my weight before I had children. Before I got pregnant with my Birthdaughter, I was 5’5″, 130lbs, very muscular as I was in dance all through High School. I was 16 when I had her, weighing in at 178lbs before delivery, stretched out, scars everywhere. I was extremely self concious afterwards. Alot of it had to do with the fact that I gave her up for adoption, and that I had no baby to go along with the stretch marks. I stayed in dance throughout school and was able to get down to a healthy 145.

At the Age of 20, I gave birth to my son. With that pregnancy, I managed to put a whopping 75lbs on my 5’5″ frame. I also stretched out even more, what I thought was not possible…

After having him I got into a nice work out regimin and got back down to 155lbs. And had to be satisfied with that, because no more weight was dropping off…

Then at the age of 23 I gave birth to my Daughter. Not only was I super picky the whole pregnancy about my weight, I am even worse now afterwards. Luckily I couldnt stretch any more, but I did get back up to 200lbs..

Now Im 6 months post partum and having the hardest time with my weight by far. I have been breastfeeding exclusively, and that has helped me get into my pre pregnancy jeans.. but I have this stubborn flat tire around my waist that I cannot get rid of. I want to have surgery so bad just to get rid of it.. but I do not have the money. I am stuck at 165lbs. i seemed to have an extra 10lbs per kid attached to me… sigh

I know, I should appreciate the fact that I am not super obese, and am a healthy mother of three… but its quite hard when all I want to do is be happy with my body, and not beat myself up over it.

Thank you for reading.

SOAM Changed Me (Corinne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 6 Comments

Age 33
3 Children; 12 years old, 20 months old and 8 days old.
3 Pregnancies, 8 days PP

Previous posts here and here.

I still remember the sick feeling I felt when I saw that my post had appeared on SOAM. I very nearly emailed Bonnie straight away to ask her to take it down. I decided to keep the fact I’d posted it a secret from people I knew and then I read it myself and looked at the photos as I would look at photos of another woman. I realised that my words of confidence didn’t reflect how I truly felt, but looking at those photos I realised my body was beautiful. I went on to share the post with some friends and family.

With my second post I felt so much more confident and loved taking the photos. I think it shows.

This experience inspired me to start my own blog in order to share my experiences through pregnancy and after. I hope that women in the UK will share their experiences in a similar way to this site. I know this site is open to anyone but it is lesser known in the UK. Since starting the blog I have felt truly confident and have loved writing it, I have also had many people tell me it has helped them and for that reason alone I feel proud.

I would like to end by saying a HUGE thank you to Bonnie for SOAM and for helping me change the way I feel about my body. I am thrilled to be able to say I love my post pregnancy body too, it has done an amazing job producing my 3rd baby boy, Wilfred. Already my belly is shrinking back, it’s always going to be a bit wobbly and stretch marked but I am looking forward to getting back out on my bicycle and getting fit so I can be a healthy, happy woman and mother.

I will leave you with some photos, me at 41 weeks pregnant, my stomach immediately after the birth and 7 days post partum.

Mother of 3 (Misty)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 20 Comments

Age: 31
3 pregnancies. 3 live births.
Children ages: 14, 12, 10 (All girls)
I am 10yrs postpartum

I am 31yrs old, and the mother of three girls, ages 14, 12, and 10. My first two daughters were born natural, and my last daughter was born by cesarean. I had my first daughter when I was 16, my second daughter when I was 19, and my third daughter when I was 21. It wasn’t until my second daughter, that I developed saggy skin on my stomach area.

This was very hard for me to deal with. I was only 19 at the time, and I felt that I was no longer sexy, and desirable. My self-esteem was affected greatly, for years to come.

I tried everything that I could to look better. I even starved myself down to 105lbs. Nothing I did, could take away the lose skin. I wanted plastic surgery so bad, but I could never afford it.

I breastfed all my children, and I had voluptuous breast at that time. But, the minute that I stopped breastfeeding, my boobs shrank to smaller than an A. This was hard for me to deal with as well. I felt that I had lost all my sexual attractiveness. I couldn’t wear anything that showed my stomach, and my breasts were too small to fit into any bras. It was very stressful.

About 1 yr ago, I gained around 30lbs, and went from 130lbs to 160lbs. The only benefit to this was that my breast got a little bigger. Currently I am trying to lose weight due to health issues.

I wish that I could say that over the years I no longer worry about my body. But, that’s not true. I have accepted the way that it is, but I don’t like it. I live in a college town, so it is really hard for me when I see all the young girls running around in the summer time. Sometimes I still feel like I’m not a woman, or sexy like other women. I feel like I missed out on having a youthful body since mine was messed up at such an early age.

I have had men say very mean and hurtful things about my body, and my body has kept me from doing a lot of things, and having confidence to do things.

But, with that all said, my children are the light of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even the sexiest body in the world, or riches galore. I love you Marissa, Alanna, and Senora!!

The Shape of Our Hearts (Christina Plant)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Hips, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Reader's Favorite, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 28 Comments

age: 35
pregnancies 3
births 3
childrens ages: 14, 12, 9 (all boys!)
(this makes me nine plus years postpartum)

There is a fire in all of us. Sometimes I only have enough to keep the pilot light on. Sometimes I’m a torch. A bonfire. Sometimes, I am a wildfire- unruly and all-consuming.

I’ve been a mother for almost 14 years- I suppose it’s more accurate to say almost 15 years- how could I leave out the 9.5 months of my first pregnancy! I have three sons and the age span between the oldest and youngest is less than 5 years.

Today I am on fire! High and blazing. Excited and eager to live and breathe and make each day count. I make fitness a high priority, but I find that the aesthetic benefits are just a side affect of what taking care of my body does for me. I like feeling good in my own skin and when women ask me how it is that I am in such good shape after having 3 kids I do not hesitate to say “I work my ass off” with a totally straight serious face. That is exactly what I do. I’m a runner. I run about 20-30 miles a week. I MAKE the time for it- it’s as important as wiping my butt, or brushing my teeth or taking a shower. While we could survive without doing these things, if we fail to do these things regularly, we put our health at risk. I feel the same way about exercise. It’s an important part of maintaining your life. I also watch my diet- I make healthy choices and enjoy treats and indulgences about once a week. I keep anything that I absolutely love devouring out of my home.

I can’t help but notice that I’m in better shape than most of my oldest son’s female friends. I’ve heard people say to him “is THAT your mom?” and I must admit, it gives me a confidence boost.

There have been times when my fire was weak. I was that down, self-deprecating out of shape woman that looked at fit women and wondered if I would EVER feel or look as good as they do. I thought they had some special gift that I did not. Genetics. Will power. Money to hire a trainer or a personal chef. Blablablabla. But they aren’t special. They’re no better or worse than you or I. You cannot see inside their hearts. They may be fit for the wrong reasons. None of us are perfect. The photos you see that show flawless bodies are like a mirage. They aren’t real. What truly matters is what is in your heart. How is your fire? Does it burn for you and your passions and your goals, whatever they might be?

You can’t show the “shape” of a person’s heart in a photo. But if we wanted and if we are brave, we can show our hearts by showing who we really are. Some of the “worst looking” photos of me capture priceless moments. Who cares if it’s taken at a bad angle or my hair is unkempt? Did you ever stumble across a social network profile and notice that EVERY photo of that person shows them with flawless makeup, perfectly groomed, at their best angle, or smiling just perfectly? What does it mean when we hesitate to share our “real” moments- the ones where vanity and image are irrelevant because we’re too busy uhm… living???

I am not afraid of “looking” bad while living well. Upon finding this site, I too quickly realized how easy it is to see and believe photos like this:

or this:

Not bad, right? That’s me! I am 5’3″ and had 3 babies. The first one was 10 lbs 1 oz. I was 206 lbs right before delivery. The second one was 8 lbs 13 oz. Since I was chasing a toddler through that pregnancy, I only weighed in at 170 lbs before delivery. The third one was induced EARLY and weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and I was well over the 200 lb mark 2 weeks before his due date!

But we forget that there is NO such thing as perfection and here is the proof:

My tattoo is almost 16 years old and has some impressive battle scars, don’t you agree?

Here is a side shot of my lower abs and thigh:

What CAN’T you see in all of these photos? My heart. My fire. My passion for feeling alive. You can’t plainly see it from the outside on anyone can you? There is no way- perhaps because it is beyond what our eyes can see. The shape of our bodies and what we see in the mirror shouldn’t be the most important thing. We need to nurture the shape of our hearts.

Updated here.

C(section) You in Heaven, My Dear (Krystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 21 Comments

My third, and what I was hoping to be my final, pregnancy was beautiful in every way. I was always an active Preggo momma and continued this through my third pregnancy with walking, riding bikes and yoga. My first 2 pregnancies were also active and easy, leaving my body in pretty good shape and with healthy natural births. With just a few stretch marks here and there to complement the easy loving children who came with them. I was heading into my 38th week of pregnancy and preparing for a homebirth with a midwife who seemed to be just wonderful and perfect to accompany us. Again my body was holding up so well and I was always happy that each of my children left me with just a few battle scars. Oct. 27th I had a MW appointment and was gaining steadily, baby was ready for arrival and I was happy to only have acquired another 3 or 4 stretch marks with the 45 lb. gain on my 5’2” frame. Little did I know the next day would leave me with one of the hardest scars to accept. I awoke at 5 am, on Oct. 28th, and was instantly worried because my little bean wasn’t waking me up like she usually did at 3 am doing jumping jacks. I waited it out till about 7 am and was only getting small shifts. I called my MW and received no answer so I called the OBGYN I was also working with through my pregnancy. The nurse called me back about 930 am and told me to head on up to the hospital. My MW was still no where to be found as she is even to this day. I went in and at about 1030 am I was called back to have a NST. The sweet sound of my little beans Heartbeat was beautiful and a normal 141. My husband showed up about 10 minutes later and we sat and listened to the sweet thumping sounds coming from the little machine next to me. Suddenly, as if the world stopped, her heartbeat did too going from 141, to 80 , 40, 80……gone. That little machine then turned into the worst little machine I had ever seen when it started alarming to warn us that my baby was in distress. The Dr. took me to L&D where I was stripped, gassed and cut open. The very last thing I remember was my baby moving one last time in me to say goodbye before she headed on up into the Lords arms. I awoke 4 hours later to the most excruciating pain and life shattering news that I was cut open, robbed of my soul and left scarred and empty armed. I have a scar now stretching 8 inches across my abdomen reminding me on a daily basis that I have an angel in heaven, just waiting for me to join her some day, thanks to the grace of the good Lord. I try daily to accept this scar as a reminder of Gods grace and promise that some day I will see my little angel Stella again.

~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 2 live births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12, 4, 6 months post partum from my angel baby’s birth

Still Coping After Almost Five Years (Lora)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

My name is Lora. This is my story.

I was 18 yrs old when I found out I was pregnant the first time, and I found out by having a miscarriage. When I had made it to the doctor’s they told me I was four months along. I had no idea that I was pregnant. My periods were regular and nothing was “strange” was happening with my body. However, I felt a huge loss when this happened. Even though I didn’t know about the baby until after the fact, I still felt guilty. So when my husband and I found out we were pregnant for the second time, we were thrilled!! I was 20yrs old, and we had been married almost a year by then. I was a normal 20yr old. I had a wonderful body that I was proud of. I worked out, and had gone my entire life never having to worry about what I ate, and when I ate it. My pregnancy we extremely easy. I had no morning sickness, no crazy hormone imbalance. I felt great!! Except once my girl started ‘really’ growing, my body had no where to put her except straight out in front of me!!! From behind you could not tell I was pregnant. Even standing in front of me at the right angle you couldn’t tell. But when I turned to the side, Wham! haha…I was so worried about the skin and stretch marks that were starting all over, but my family kept encouraging me saying, “don’t worry, that happens to all women. It snaps right back after the baby.” This mostly coming from my mother and my aunt who both had 3 children, and not a trace showed on their bodies. I decided to believe them for the time being. But after my daughter was born 9/24/07 by c-section, I began to realize what they had said wasn’t true in my case. Immediately after the birth my tummy sagged. My husband kept telling me that after I lost the pregnancy weight it would go back. But it never did. I was so miserable with myself that first year after her birth, I didn’t lose any weight at all. I even gained some replacing my baby’s weight. I was 21yrs old, and while all my friends enjoyed summer days in bathing suits, I couldn’t even bare putting on a pair of shorts. I had stretch marks in my inner thighs, outer thighs, breasts, and of course my tummy. To make matters worse, I had sustained an injury to one of my breast before my pregnancy and never gave it a second thought, until I started breast feeding. The one that was damage had a reduced milk flow, so as my other breast grew and grew, the injured one did not. I found myself padding bra’s and wearing very lose shirts to hide it. I just felt so ashamed of myself and felt like it was all my fault. “just lose the weight” my husband would say. Finally after a year, I decided to finally take him up on that, and was just further depressed. No matter how much weight I lost (30lbs total) and was only 3lbs away from my prepregnancy weight, my tummy still sagged. My breasts were still uneven and lop sided, and I still couldn’t wear a bathing suite outside. I am now 24yrs old and after 4yrs I am finally starting to adjust to this new me. My daughter is now 3 1/2 yrs old. We also found out that we are expecting again! Our second child is due 11/26/11 of this year, and I have decided that there is nothing that this baby can do to me, and my daughter hasn’t already done!!!

The Story of Who I Am (Corinne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 8 Comments

Age 33
2 children, my first is 12 years old and my second is 18 months old.
This is my 3rd pregnancy, currently 36 weeks pregnant

I posted my photos and story at 24 weeks and since then my confidence has soared. Sharing on here has helped so much. I simply adore my pregnant body, my lumps, bumps, stretch marks, scars, every part of it. I hope I hold on to this feeling and confidence after my baby is born, I want to be proud of my body and what it’s achieved. I have always believed that women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful but somehow forgot to include myself in that, but not anymore!

I have various scars on my body and they all tell a story. I have a tiny scar on one of my fingers from when I made flapjack at school, after 15 minutes I didn’t believe it was cooked so I left it in the oven for far longer and then had to cut it out of the tin with a knife, which slipped of course and sliced my finger! I have a burn scar on my arm, from the first ever roast dinner I cooked. I have a scar on the side of my stomach from when I crashed my motorbike, I slid a way down the road and my leathers moved leaving me with a hole in my side, which then had to be stitched back up. I have always been proud of these scars and then I realised I should be equally proud of my stretch mark scars, because without them I wouldn’t have my beautiful boys. They are part of the story of who I am.

Updated here.

The Shape that Love Built (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 54 Comments

Age: 23
Number of births: 2, soon to be 3
Ages of children: 5 years old, 18 months old, and yet to be born

It started with a comment on a photo I posted on facebook. For the record, I am not nude in the picture, nor am I anywhere NEAR naked. I simply have my belly exposed. She deleted me while I was in the hospital, waiting for a room to be induced.

Conny ***** Girl, you should keep that covered.
Conny ***** Don’t look … it’s kind of hard not to and say all you want about pregnant women being beautiful, to me they are butt ugly. Arrogant too, with their ‘don’t l ike it, don’t look’. IGYGWYD These days people put anything on FB.
Conny ***** Delete me if you want, I don’t care. You all need glasses Pregnant women beautiful … LOL
Conny ***** Delete me if you want if you don’t like what I have to say. I say highly pregnant women exposing their naked bodies is uncalled for. Call it beautiful all you want, you need glasses. I think pregnancy is ugly. Just my personal opinion, but it is MY opinon and I’m entitled to it.
Conny ***** You have been deleted. Any more messages from you and you will be reported for harrasment.

I’m sitting here crying because I am sad. I’m actually not sad about my body, or the way it looks.. not because its a Hollywood post-baby body.. but because I appreciate it. I’m sad because someone called pregnancy “ugly”.. and said that she thought that pregnant women were “butt ugly”.. the words themselves did not hurt me. Well… maybe a little.. but not in the way you’d think. It hurt to know that there are women out there who really are ashamed of their bodies. That they’re ashamed that they arent “perfect” anymore.. that they think of themselves as “flawed”.

I am 23 years old, I have 2 children, and am 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. My body is not Hollywood material anymore.. my body is quite “flawed” by those standards.

However.. its the body that love built. Every ounce of extra fat, every stretch mark, every sag is physical proof that I brought fourth not one, but THREE perfect miracles.

I am sad for her. I’m sad that she feels that pregnancy, birth, and post-baby bodies are not beautiful.

I am not ashamed of my body. I love it to pieces.. afterall, if I cant love myself, how can I expect someone else to?

My belly sags when I’m not pregnant, as do my breasts. Right now my belly is swollen and large, as are my breasts which are full of milk.

My bum has cellulite, I have stretch marks, and I have thighs that applaud me whenever I walk anywhere.
I do not care that some dont like it. I may not be “sexy” by most peoples standards…

but that does not mean I am not beautiful, and it does NOT mean that I am ugly.

I then wrote this…

Amanda *******
My sons show off my baby belly to the world because they know a little secret that not everyone appreciates… my body’s “beauty” was destroyed in order to bring perfection into this world.. not once, but twice, and I am prepared to do it a third time. I have brought miracles to life.. and I’ll be damned if I hide the body that did it. I love the “beauty” within the “uglyness” that are my battle scars of motherhood.

Amanda ******* I am not ashamed of having the shape of a mother. I am not ashamed of my scars. I am not ashamed of anything that my wonderful children have left on my body. This is the body that love built. I am however ashamed to breathe the same air as someone who can call me “butt ugly” simply because I am not flat-bellied, toned, or trim at this moment.

Updated here.