The Shape that Love Built (Amanda)

Age: 23
Number of births: 2, soon to be 3
Ages of children: 5 years old, 18 months old, and yet to be born

It started with a comment on a photo I posted on facebook. For the record, I am not nude in the picture, nor am I anywhere NEAR naked. I simply have my belly exposed. She deleted me while I was in the hospital, waiting for a room to be induced.

Conny ***** Girl, you should keep that covered.
Conny ***** Don’t look … it’s kind of hard not to and say all you want about pregnant women being beautiful, to me they are butt ugly. Arrogant too, with their ‘don’t l ike it, don’t look’. IGYGWYD These days people put anything on FB.
Conny ***** Delete me if you want, I don’t care. You all need glasses Pregnant women beautiful … LOL
Conny ***** Delete me if you want if you don’t like what I have to say. I say highly pregnant women exposing their naked bodies is uncalled for. Call it beautiful all you want, you need glasses. I think pregnancy is ugly. Just my personal opinion, but it is MY opinon and I’m entitled to it.
Conny ***** You have been deleted. Any more messages from you and you will be reported for harrasment.

I’m sitting here crying because I am sad. I’m actually not sad about my body, or the way it looks.. not because its a Hollywood post-baby body.. but because I appreciate it. I’m sad because someone called pregnancy “ugly”.. and said that she thought that pregnant women were “butt ugly”.. the words themselves did not hurt me. Well… maybe a little.. but not in the way you’d think. It hurt to know that there are women out there who really are ashamed of their bodies. That they’re ashamed that they arent “perfect” anymore.. that they think of themselves as “flawed”.

I am 23 years old, I have 2 children, and am 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. My body is not Hollywood material anymore.. my body is quite “flawed” by those standards.

However.. its the body that love built. Every ounce of extra fat, every stretch mark, every sag is physical proof that I brought fourth not one, but THREE perfect miracles.

I am sad for her. I’m sad that she feels that pregnancy, birth, and post-baby bodies are not beautiful.

I am not ashamed of my body. I love it to pieces.. afterall, if I cant love myself, how can I expect someone else to?

My belly sags when I’m not pregnant, as do my breasts. Right now my belly is swollen and large, as are my breasts which are full of milk.

My bum has cellulite, I have stretch marks, and I have thighs that applaud me whenever I walk anywhere.
I do not care that some dont like it. I may not be “sexy” by most peoples standards…

but that does not mean I am not beautiful, and it does NOT mean that I am ugly.

I then wrote this…

Amanda *******
My sons show off my baby belly to the world because they know a little secret that not everyone appreciates… my body’s “beauty” was destroyed in order to bring perfection into this world.. not once, but twice, and I am prepared to do it a third time. I have brought miracles to life.. and I’ll be damned if I hide the body that did it. I love the “beauty” within the “uglyness” that are my battle scars of motherhood.

Amanda ******* I am not ashamed of having the shape of a mother. I am not ashamed of my scars. I am not ashamed of anything that my wonderful children have left on my body. This is the body that love built. I am however ashamed to breathe the same air as someone who can call me “butt ugly” simply because I am not flat-bellied, toned, or trim at this moment.

Updated here.

54 thoughts on “The Shape that Love Built (Amanda)

  • Friday, September 2, 2011 at 1:47 am

    I’m sorry that it made you sad. I’m sorry she said anything to you like that, but being pregnant for the second time myself, I have to admit, I find the whole thing hideous too. I’m so sorry to admit it because it seems like we are all supposed to pretend that this is some wonderful experience. I just don’t see it. I have never been more miserable in my life. I love, love, love being a mother. I adore my daughter and am terribly excited about my new baby that is coming, but I would do anything to not have to live this distorted prison sentence for nine months. It is the most uncomfortable thing to happen ever! I’m really sorry. She shouldn’t have made you sad. My best girlfriend is always pointing out big pregnant women and saying how beautiful they are, how she is jealous (she has one son so far), but I look and see bags under the eyes, swollen hands and feet, I see someone who hasn’t had a good nights sleep in months, can’t breath well and looks like they have been through hell. I guess we can’t help what we see or feel. I’m glad not everyone feels the way I do or the human race would have died out long ago! Good luck to you – enjoy pregnancy (I guess!) if that’s your thing. I’m going to keep pretending to the world that I am in a state of pure bliss since that seems to be the only acceptable thing (inside I am crying and wishing this was over already!).

  • Friday, September 2, 2011 at 1:51 am

    PS – this is not about vanity, it is just overall discomfort at every level. I didn’t sleep well again last night (like every night for the last couple of months). I get back into shape easily and have few marks to show that I’ve even been pregnant, but I’m clumsy, tired, bored, anxious, hungry but can’t eat well, the list is long babe! People are mean. I’m certainly not trying to be mean. I’m just letting you know that while I think motherhood is the bomb – seriously the best thing in the world – the road to motherhood is like going through war, harsh and horrible (for me – maybe I’m the only one!).

  • Tuesday, November 8, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Hello everyone. I wrote this :)

    I wanted to update… my son is beautiful. Eli… he was 9lbs when he was born, 2 long days after I wrote this sumbission. I am still having trouble with the recovery and will be writing a submission for TIAW…

    ? Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.

  • Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    I am currently pregnant with my fourth miracle and hopefully my third delivery.

    You have empoured me to stand up to those that constantly put me down for my size, weight and my tummy (i have a six month old)

    I recieve my cruelest comments from my family who reming me daily that i am not their ideal weight and size.

    Thank you for your words that have given me the strengh to smile and ask them to leave because of their ignorance.

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