Third Pregnancy

Thank You, Babies (Bryana)

Bonnie (SOAM) Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 2 Comments

These are my previous posts:
2 Babies Later
Update
Second Update
Love Youself, Mama, Then Love Everything Else

Age: 22
# of Pregnancies: 3
# of Births: 2
-Rayden 8lbs 4oz 21 inches Dec 12, 2005
-Cairo Sofia 8lbs 7oz 21 inches June 23, 2009
How far PP: 12 Months

This is technically my 4th update, but my 5th post. It is officially 1 year post partum from having my last child, as of June 23rd. It’s definitely an accomplishment but also a moment of realization. I am no longer going to have babies in my house! I have done what my body was designed to do for 2 beautiful children, and now I can go on with watching them grow and become beautiful and amazing people. This brings me more joy than I can put into words. They are gorgeous and brilliant children that I am thankful for every day, every single day.

But now onto myself and the accomplishments I have personally gained. I have learnt to love my body, whether it is “flawed” or not. I love my body. It is beautiful and shows what hard work I
have put into having my children (BIG children at that, especially for my tiny stature of 4’11”!). After my first child, Rayden, now 4 ½ years old, I hated my body. I hated what pregnancy had done to my body and I didn’t dare look at myself nude. However, I was only 18 when he was born. Image was everything and the “right” image were those portrayed through magazines and such.

But once becoming pregnant with my 2nd and last child, Cairo Sofia, 1 year as of June 23, I all of a sudden adored my body. I loved looking at myself knowing I had another child growing inside of me. I would trace my stretch marks and embrace my loose skin. For whatever reason, I had a realization that my body was Beautiful. It is amazing and can do remarkable things that seem so bizarre.

Now that I look at myself at the 1 Year Milestone, I love myself even more. I love myself from the inside out. I am beautiful. My children are beautiful. And I would like to thank them for helping me to see true beauty. Thank you for allowing me to accept myself, “flaws” and all, but no longer view them as “flaws”. Because if it weren’t for the “flaws” you 2 beautiful children would not be here, gracing my life every day!

Thank You Babies!

Updated here.

Embracing My Stretch Marks (Amber)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 9 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
Age of children: 2, 31 weeks Pregnant

here i am at 31 weeks with our second girl, contemplating my body. i had our first at 18. i was young and fit. no stretchmarks on my belly. after i had her, i got them on my breasts and hips. but i could handle that. eventually they faded to white. i struggled with weight- at my heaviest i was 180 at 5’7. barely overweight but enough to squander any confidence. after jade turned 2 years old, i start losing weight. not lbs, but inches. i felt comfortable in my body. attractive. confident.

just as i whittle my size down to a size 9 pant size, im pregnant again. it was unexpected, but nothing we couldnt handle. my first thought was “oh great. im going to get fat again.”

right now im 204, my heaviest ive ever been. i also got my first stretchmarks on my belly. they’re small and just pink. so im hoping that they’re going to heal quickly. before i got them, i had intentions of going out to the public pool and flaunt my beautiful pregnant body. this is a time where i dont have to suck in my gut or hide behind layers of clothes bc of cellulite. but when i got the marks, all of that was lost. i now swim with a tank top on.

the first time my fiance saw the stretchmarks, he asked me what they were. did i get them from laying on the couch? i was ashamed and embarrassed. i started sobbing and acting like a fool. he of course was confused. i explained to him that they were indeed stretchmarks. he hugged me and told me that i was still beautiful.

i dont feel beautiful. i have horrible acne on my face from the hormones. and im huge. everyone thinks im due next week bc of how big i am. i have the weird hanging fat under my belly. and then the stretchmarks.

i hope before the baby gets here, i can learn to embrace my stretchmarks. that i can learn to love my womanly body. the body i am meant to have. but i cant help but see and envy these celebrities who look like they’ve been pregnant.

The P90X Experiment (Mary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 13 Comments

Original post here.
Website: https://slowthisridedown.blogspot.com/

When I wrote “Mirror, Mirror on the wall….Who’s the Most Damaged Mother of them All?” last year I thought that was the end of my journey in accepting my body…little did I know it was just the beginning! I submitted my article to SOAM in February and it was posted on March 9th, a hard day for our family as it’s the anniversary of the death of our niece and nephew, but all the beautiful comments to the article made the day much brighter, thank you!

Over the past few months I’ve been shocked over and over by…how I really do NOT hate my body anymore! It’s a hard feeling to get used to that’s for sure. And I think that loving who you are makes it easier to let go and stick with a healthier lifestyle (for me anyways, I know all mothers are different)…because you know you deserve to treat yourself better. Since I wasn’t depressed about my body I stopped binge eating and had more energy to work out. I even started going to the gym, something I had been too embarrassed to do before, which brought on a whole new appreciation of my body as I watched it change shape once again. My gym is closed for the summer so for the next few months I am attempting to do P90X and I’m blogging about it so that other mothers can follow along and see if it’s the right program for them. The neat thing is that my hubby is doing it with me! 2 years ago I would have never been comfortable enough with my body to huff and puff half naked in front of him but now there is no embarrassment and we are having so much fun working out each night!

This site is amazing and I love how it’s changing so many minds about beauty. A year ago I would have died of embarrassment if anyone had saw one of my stretchmarks….and now I wear a sports bra while I work out and hope that everyone sees them so that they will start to think of them as normal on a mother!

Age: 29
Births: Three
Children: 12, 10, 4

Photos:
1. Me, one year ago.
2. My belly, before I started working out a few months ago.
3. Me today, 50 pounds lighter.
4. My belly today!
5. I love this photo because I think that the stretchmark that is showing is so beautiful.

Any confidence I had (which was minimal) is GONE! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

I have always had insecurities about my body, which eventually led to an eating disorder. I got down to almost 85 lbs (I am 5′ 3″). Fortunately, I was able to stop. I slowly gained weight back, and wasn’t exactly happy, but I dealt with it and had the support of my husband. Then, I got pregnant. I knew I would gain weight but never realized the toll that pregnancy would have on my body. I gained about 50 lbs and had to have a c-section due to arrested dilation. My baby was put under the bili-lights for the first week of life and therefore could not breastfeed. She got too used to the bottle and I have ended up bottle-feeding her. So, I was stuck with this extra weight to lose without the aid of breastfeeding. So, here I am now, 3 months postpartum, with saggy breasts, HORRIBLE stretch marks, and so much extra weight it is not even funny. I am only 21 but am already past my prime. It’s a really sad realization and I am trying to accept it. I’m having trouble with the eating disorder now too. I feel so out of control. And my husband is gone due to the military. It’s hard. But my baby girl is the light of my life now. Pray for me please :)

P.S. The last picture is of me before I got pregnant, just in case you couldn’t tell the difference ;D

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 months postpartum

Twins and a Toddler…not sure who “I am” anymore (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 34 Comments

Who am I? I’m a…Mom….who is unsatisfied. Grateful in a lot of respects, but one who feels guilty I’m so unhappy. I can’t believe I’m writing this. Maybe I’ll get some peace with after doing so…doubtful. I must have taken a half dozen pictures of my belly and kept deleting them saying…”nah, it’s not that bad…must be angle.” But, alas, pictures don’t lie so I here I am…humbled….sad…disgusted.

I’m 39 years old with a 4 year old and boy/girl twins who are almost 9 months old. I had an easy pregnancy with my first and difficult time with the twins for obvious reasons. I was on bed rest at 25 weeks and carried them to 38.5 weeks. My son was born 7 lbs. 6 oz. and my daughter was 6 lbs. 1 oz. Everyone is healthy and for that I’m grateful.

But I hate what it’s done to my self esteem. It’s not just my weight really either.

I’ve never been what you’d consider thin. I was always a pear shape with bigger butt and thighs. My only saving grace was my thin waist and belly…now that’s gone. I’m 5’1” and currently weigh about 185 lbs and wearing size 16 pants. With the twins, I got up to like 220. At my happiest, I weighed about 135ish…around my wedding in 2002. Good times!

I’ve tried buying control garments to push in and smooth out the rolls, but it makes me feel like a sausage so I only wear it when I want to look really good…well, as good as I can. I really don’t get out much…thankfully.

Because of our financial situation and with the unexpected twins, I had to quit work and stay home with the twins (my 4 year old goes to pre-school). I hunger for anytime intellectual stimulation and adult interaction. I often think I might be a better Mommy if I wasn’t around them all day, but that is not in the cards right now so I have to make the best out of this. I miss work, but there is no way I could every go back, not even part time, and afford day care for 2 and pre-school for 1. I’m grateful my husband has a good job and we live modestly so we are ok. I do hate having to ask him for money so I can buy socks or underware. It’s kinda humiliating to have to ask for money, but that is my reality now.

One of the hardest things for me is that me and my husband haven’t had sex in almost 2 years (since we conceived the twins). We didn’t at all when I was pregnant…was never really into that for some reason and after the twins, forget it–no energy or time. We are wiped out by 8:30pm and he wakes for work at 5am so he’s tired and I’m tired too. I have a wonderful husband, he’s a great father, great provider…but I feel we have grown distant in a lot of ways. Most of which are related to the chaos of raising a family and not having a lot of “us” time. We were never really ‘nympho’s”…at our best, we had sex 2 to 3 times a month…but it’s starting to bother me. He doesn’t ever complain about it nor does he ever complain about my body…but he never really gives me some positive hope either by saying “oh, honey, you look fine to me.” I’m sure he’s biting his lips out of kindness. I hate my body and don’t feel attractive at all.

The scar doesn’t really bother me, but the “twin skin” does. When I’m laying down, it’s all loose and wrinkled. When I stand, it sags. I don’t even think the gym would help with the extra skin…but it would help if I’d go more. I don’t really mind the gym…getting there is half the battle. The hardest part is managing the twins and a toddler and the gym. Between naps and feeding, I have 45 minutes to get there, drop the off in the child care center on site, work out and get them home for their next nap. I’ve tried working out at home, but I can’t stay focused…I keep thinking about all the housework to do and the million other things I could be doing.

Eating healthy is sooooo much hard work and expensive. Healthy stuff is so expensive and we are living paycheck to paycheck and there is not much left over. And, who has time to cut all that stuff up and prepare…people say the night before….well, I’m beat and exhausted by 9pm. I’m so crazed during the day, that I’m lucky if I can make a PB&J or something quick…surely and conveniently unhealthy. There are times I’m so stressed out that I eat just because it makes me feel better. Like a drug. There are times, I just want to throw up for a week or two to see some results and maybe get motivated. I’m thinking maybe I’ll try Alli too…soiling my pants might be enough motivation to eat well. I don’t know.

It’s not really the weight per se, it’s the displacement of “stuff.” My belly from the side view looks like a “B” and it’s so…weird. I guess that is the twin skin pouch I was warned about. I guess the only lucky part is that I didn’t get any stretch marks which is amazing considering how large I got (picture below is of me at 37 weeks).

I long to be a healthy weight and happy with my body…it doesn’t have to be perfect, but not like it is now which is terrible period. There is not way of sugar coating it for me. I don’t want to be the ‘fat mom’ who can’t run after and keep up with her children. I want my husband to “want me”. I have to find the gumption to do something about this!

Thanks for reading. I hope I can find some peace someday. Maybe after the kids are in school and I go back to work and start saving for a tummy tuck. But for now, I know who I am a frumpy Mom…with no career…no sex life…living in empire waste clothing to hide my belly…with healthy and happy kids, a good husband, and for that I should find comfort…but I really don’t–but will keep trying.

– Age: 39
– Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 2 births—1 via c-section, 1 set of twins via c-section, 1 miscarriage at 9 weeks.
– The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 yr old and 8 month old twins (8 months postpartum)

Mommy Boobs (Amy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 10 Comments

Age: 36
Number of pregnancies and birth: 3/2
Age of children and how far postpartum: 6 years and 9 weeks

I love this site. I have two children, one six years old and one 9 weeks old. I am one of those ladies that gets my stomach back quickly but my babies have done a number on my boobs and rear end. How low can they go? That is the question I want answered. I officially have mommy boobs. Despite the need for a four hook, underwire, padded strap bra, I wouldn’t trade my mommy status for a perfect pair. Bless all the Moms, we are beautiful

Trying to Accept It (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 11 Comments

~Age: 25
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 3 children…2 1/2 months post partum

Honestly, if I knew what my body would look like after having kids, I never would have had any. I had my first when I was 18. For some reason I thought I was fat and disgusting. I hated my body. And then I got pregnant…and ballooned 50 pounds. It took 2 years to drop 40 of those pounds. I was so miserable with myself for so long I stayed out of pictures as much as I could. By the time my second baby came around I had gained 20 pounds on my own thanks to a husband who encouraged me to eat whatever made me happy. I only gained 25 pounds this time, but it still put me up to the same weight as with my first. Then it was only a year later when I became pregnant with my third child. I had just started to really work at losing the weight and had managed about 5 pounds when I found out. I gained 40 pounds, putting me at my highest weight of my entire life. Before kids I was a size 9. My waist was 31″…30″ on a good day, and I was 150-155 pounds. By the end of my third pregnancy I was 220. After the first week or so I dropped 20 pounds and was in a size 16.

I know it’s only been 2 1/2 months, plus I’m breastfeeding so I can’t do any major dieting, and with three kids, there’s only so much time for exercise, but I just can’t stand myself. There are times when I look in the mirror and I just want to cry. I figure if I can get to 160, it’ll be a happy healthy weight. Although I’d like to be 150 again…I’m not a teenager anymore and I do realize it’s probably not a realistic goal…I could barely maintain that weight back then. Regardless, I just hate myself. There have been times when I take all the mirrors down so I don’t have to look at myself. I have two little girls and I know I need to have a better self esteem so they’re not troubled by the same body issues as I am, but it’s so hard. I try to accept my new body, and work as best I can to improve it. And my husband tells me I’m beautiful and sexy. But I don’t believe him. I can’t believe him. All I see is fat, sagging, and cellulite.

This is me now! (Dadama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

I got married to the perfect man when i was 19 (young I know) soon after I got pregnant . my son was 6 months when I started working and he spend a lot of hours in a daycare luckily my husband got a better job and I stopped working when my son was almost 4 (I regret not spending all those years with my son , but I needed to work no questions ask ) Then when he turned 5 he was excited to start school… in March 2007 I miss my period and I knew I was pregnant again without trying!! lol I wanted to have only one kid and now I was pregnant and scare because my son didn’t want a baby brother or sister… my second son was born in november 2007 in april 2008 I find out I was pregnant again!!!!
OMG I cried so much I was on the pill how could this happen? I didn’t want more kids!! but I understood that God had a purpose with me and now He had a purpose with my baby… Mathew was born december 2008…
Now my babies are growing so fast that I miss them already it seems like it was yesterday when I got home with Mathew He is 16 months old now and a very active toddler and even when is not easy having two kids close in age my oldest helps a lot! He is a Proud big brother.
And about my body ugh .. I have my breast cover in stretch marks I have extra skin in my lower tummy and some days I wakeup ok with it and some others I don’t like it at all …
First pregnancy went from 98 pounds to 150 lost the weight in about one year
second pregnancy 100 to 149 lost some weight but since I was pregnant I couldn’t lose it all
third pregnancy… day of birth 160 pounds , today 110

~Your Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3/3
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 8,2,1, 16 months pp

6 years after…I still feel a bit unconfident (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 17 Comments

Age: 36
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 (sons)
Age of my children: 12 1/2 , almost 11 and 6

As you can read above I´m a mother of three. I received my first child at the age of 23, the second one at 25 and the little one when I was 30 years old.
My life is undergoing many changes at the moment ´cause my husband and I are going to separate.
For the last 14 years he was the only one to see my body with all the changes due to the three pregnancies.
Now…I´m starting a new life…and may be some day I´ll have a new partner …
and as you possibly can imagine I´m quite a little bit unconfident if someone else will love me…and the way I look…as a mother of three.
I´m quite satisfied with my weight. I´m a bit too skinny but I try my best to gain a few pounds.
I love my tummy …there are no stretchmarks and I think after 3 pregnancies it really looks fantastic…
what really makes me feel a bit insecure showing my body to someone new are my breasts, the way they look now.
They are so small …I really had nice breasts, well-shaped…a German C-Cup and now it´s only B…
and if I bend over they really look saggy and so empty…I hate that.
As long as I´m standing or sitting and do not move too much they look quite okay…but only then.
I thougt about plastical surgery…but I fear the health risks and wonder if I could live with fake breasts…it probably would feel different…kind of foreign body.
so…I think I have to learn to love them the way they look now…
and I hope I´ll find a new partner who loves me just the way I am and the way my body looks…´cause I think every woman wants to be admired by someone…

Loving Myself (Tarah)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Spousal/Partner Abuse, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

I am 31
3 wonderful daughters!

I had my first child when I was 19. Always overweight and insecure with myself, my first pregnancy did not help. I gained quite a bit more weight. The father of my child would abuse me regularly. Never leaving bruises on the outside, just on my heart. I was in labor over 24 hours with her. A C-section was performed and they realized her cord was around her neck twice. If I had pushed I would have killed her. Scarred and alone I raised her for 2 years with only the help of my family. I rushed into a marriage when she was 2, convinced that no one would love a fat 21 yr old single mom. I then got pregant with my second daughter. More wieght gain, more unhappiness. Another C-section, compounding the scarring. It was a lonely time for me compounded by the fact that both my father and grandmother died suddenly. Feeling utterly alone and worthless, divorced with 2 children by 2 different men, I fell into a horrible depression. Then I met my current husband. He never hesitated to tell me I was beautiful, that my girls are beautiful. He loves me no matter what I weigh or how bad my body is scarred. I got pregnant again with my third daughter. Again, more weight, worse stretch marks. My husband never once said a negative word about my body. He is the first man I ever let touch my belly who wasn’t a doctor. At first it was strange, never in all my life had a man ever held me and loved me and my big stretch mark covered belly. He would rub my belly and talk to our daughter, sing to her sometimes even. When she was born had no choice but to have another C-section. I was lucky enough to have the same doctor for all three deliveries. He told me that I will never have a flat bikini belly. I should just give up, and realize I will always want to cover it. When I gave birth to my last child I weighed over 200 lbs. I hated my body no matter how much my husband said I was beautiful. Now my youngest is almost 2, and I have taken charge of my body. I’m not ashamed of my belly or my scars. I made a promise to myself to take care of my body better. I now have lost 45 lbs. which is good, but I have lost the mentality that my worth is measured by my “beauty”. I love myself now, and love my husband more for never making me feel bad about myself. I am lucky enough to be in a community of people who love me for me, not my body. Who cherish the stretch marks and celebrate women in all forms! Thank you to my wonderful extended family!! Thank you for this site to show others what a mother’s body really looks like! Mostly though, thank you to my wonderful husband, for loving me and my body no matter what!!