Postpartum

She Was Worth it All (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

Age: 22

Number of pregnancies: 3
Number of births: 2
Age of children: 14 months

I was 16 years old the first time I got pregnant, and I was petrified. I didn’t know what to do, or who to turn to, and my boyfriend made it quite clear that abortion was the only logical choice. He told me having a baby would ruin our lives, and that our families would be so disappointed in us. I knew he was right, I knew I was too young, and I knew my parents would be devastated, so I did it. Part of what drove me to my decision was fear because I had no one to talk to, but a big part was him, if he couldn’t support me in keeping our baby, I just didn’t feel as though I could do it. I was 11 weeks and 4 days the day of my procedure, on August 3, 2006, and my due date was February 18, 2007.

Two years later after my boyfriend and I had just moved into our first place together, I found out I was pregnant again. We were both working, supporting ourselves 100% financially, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. When I told him he was extremely upset and pushed for abortion, again. But I told him no, I just couldn’t put myself through that a second time, there was no way, so I told him if he didn’t like my decision he could leave. The next thing I knew he was packing up all of his stuff, and then he left.

Once he left I questioned whether or not I should really go through with having a baby, because at that point in time I thought for sure I’d be doing it alone. After a few weeks of living with his mom though, she managed to talk some sense into him, and he came back home. Things were still not easy between us though, he was angry and distant, and I was scared, and because of everything going on between us only a few people knew until I was about 18 weeks. At that point in my pregnancy he finally decided to come around, and even started showing some excitement, but then everything took a turn for the worst.

At our 20 week ultrasound on October 9, 2008, we were told that our baby did not have a heart beat, and that because of the position the baby was laying in, they couldn’t tell us the sex, either. I was heartbroken, and my world felt like it came crashing down. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I didn’t know what there was left to live for. Two days later I was induced into labor, and after 8 hours I delivered my baby by myself because no one made it into my room in time. When the nurse finally came, she told us it was a little boy, and she cut his cord, wrapped him up, and handed him to us. We got to hold him for 12 hours before we had to let them take him away, and that was truly the hardest part, just watching that nurse walk out of the room with him, knowing we’d never see him again. We named him Liam, and he was born on October 12, 2008, at 20 weeks and 2 days, weighing 10oz and measuring 7.5in long.

16 months later I found out that once again, I was pregnant. I really wanted to be excited this time, but right away I started having a lot of spotting and cramping. I went to the ER twice, and both times they told me it was a threatened miscarriage, so I expected the worst. I was heartbroken all over again, and it felt like I would never get to have a baby. But despite all the spotting, my little baby held on, and we later found out via ultrasound that I had partial placenta previa and a subchorionic hemorrhage which was the cause of all the problems. They both resolved by themselves though, and in the end I was able to have my natural birth that I’d always wanted. My little Amelia was born on November 17, 2010, at 40 weeks and 1 day, weighing 8lbs 3oz and measuring 21in long. She is my everything. (We picked the name Amelia Mae because it has Liam’s name in the middle of it).

During my pregnancy with my daughter I didn’t get a single stretch mark until I hit 37 weeks, when she very noticeably dropped. I wanted to cry when I first saw them, but they’ve faded a lot since having her, so I don’t mind them as much now. Luckily none of them were too deep, and most of them were below my belly button.

The first picture below is from when I was actually in labor, I wanted to get one last belly shot lol. The other two are from today, at 14 months post partum

Thanks for letting me share.

The Clothes Hide the Ugly (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

Age: 19
One child who is 2 years old.

Hi, I love this site and love to see real bodies. I just wanted to confess that I have a mommy body. My stomach hangs like a W, I have stretch marks so large and small that cover my breasts, butt, stomach, hips, thighs, and behind the legs. And my breast are not full or perky. I am the most insecure woman you will ever meet. I wear baggy clothes to hide the muffin top and to avoid the mistake of accidentally showing my ugly stomach. I lost all my baby weight, but everything else still remains. All I want is for my stomach to be firm, the stretch marks to go away behind my legs so I can wear shorts, and for my boobs to look like 19 year old boobs. It bugs me everyday! Since the day I gave birth two years ago. I just want to feel confident and beautiful. Thanks for reading my story. =)

Adjusting to the Changes (mommy2m)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Hispanic, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 19
# of pregnancies and births: 1
7 days Postpartum
Prepregnancy weight: 155 lbs End of pregnancy weight: 197.8 lbs Current weight: 178 lbs
Height: 5’1″

My husband and I have been together since I was 13 and he was 15. We moved in with each other when I was 17 and planned to get married sometime within the next year. A few months after I turned 18, I experienced some burning while I peed and figured I had a UTI. The burning got worse and I started to feel a cramping sensation and I got concerned that it may have become a bladder infection. My husband (at the time he was my boyfriend,) took me to the emergency room where they took a urine sample and gave me a room to wait in. When the doctor came back, she asked me if there was any way I could be pregnant, and of course I was shocked and said no. She took a blood sample to confirm the urine result, and it came back positive. I was so shocked and scared that i immediately left the hospital against medical advice (she wanted to do an ultrasound.) The next day I got my antibiotics for the UTI and started doing a lot of thinking. We decided that we wanted this baby, despite how hard it might be to maintain going to college (which I started when I was 16,) raising the baby, etc. In June I had my first appointment with an OB and got to hear my son’s heartbeat for the first time. I found out I would be due to give birth on January 15th, 2012. When I was 28 weeks, I decided I wanted a natural birth at a birth center with a midwife. I found a wonderful midwife who was 100 times what my OB ever was. She was amazing!!

My water broke on January 11th, 2012. My labor did not start on its own so my midwife began natural induction methods. I did two rounds of castor oil, lots of breast pumping, walking, homeopathics, accupuncture, blue and black cohosh, several other labor tinctures, pineapple, accupressure… We literally tried everything possible and none of it started labor. On January 12th around 5 pm, we had to discuss transfer to a hospital for induction. She had given me more than the 24 hours they are supposed to allow for labor to start, and nothing had happened. I was 5 cm and 90% effaced, but I had been like this for about 2 days with no sign of active labor starting. I arrived at the hospital around 6:00 pm and at 7:30 pm, they started the Pitocin. My midwife, husband, mother and a very close cousin of mine all remained with me and supported me through my labor. I went 6 hours on Pitocin without the epidural using the hypnobirthing method, but when they upped the dose for the third time, I couldn’t tolerate the pain any longer. The contractions were coming at about 30 seconds apart and lasting over a minute long, and the back labor pain never went away. I thought I had to have reached transition and had the nurse check me. After 6 hours of Pitocin, I had not dilated at all, I was still at 5 cm and my cervix hadn’t thinned anymore. I was SO disappointed and the contractions just kept getting worse til I was pretty much just screaming non-stop. The birth ball no longer helped me, hip squeezes weren’t easing the pain, nothing was helping. My midwife suggested that I get the epidural saying that maybe my inability to relax was causing me not to dilate. After about 30 minutes of consideration, I did decide to get the epidural. The nurse checked me about 10 minutes after I received the epidural and I had dilated 2 cm already. After that I was able to relax and get some rest and they continued to up the dose of Pitocin (which my son was handling extremely well. His heart rate remained steady the entire time.) Around 5:45 am I called the nurse in and told her I felt the urge to push and was feeling a lot of pressure in my vaginal area. My son was starting to descend. She didn’t want me to start pushing yet because the OB was not there (another patient of his at the same hospital was delivering her baby when I wanted to start pushing,) but I pretty much told her I was going to push with or without her. She stayed with me and at 6 am after having the epidural stopped, I started pushing. Pushing was the most physical effort I have ever put into anything. When my son started crowning all I could think of was the incredible pain I was feeling. The nurse was doing perineal massage the entire time I was pushing, which really was super uncomfortable and somewhat painful. However, I really feel she stopped me from getting external tearing. My husband, mom, and cousin (my midwife had to go home around 4 am because of issues with her daughter,) all supported me so much through my whole labor but especially during pushing. All of their encouragement really helped me stay strong and push with all my might despite the discomfort and exhaustion I felt. The OB arrived when my son’s head was halfway out. My son was coming out in a twisted posterior position and with his hand by his hand so the OB acted quickly and twisted my son’s body into the proper position which helped me bring my son into the world within the next 30 seconds. As soon as my son came out, he was placed on my chest while the OB checked me for tearing and monitored my bleeding and placental delivery. All I could think about was how perfect my little boy is and how happy I was to finally have him here! The OB did find 2 2nd degree internal tears, which he quickly stitched up (I only need one stitch for each tear.) I am so excited to have my son!!!!!

However, I’m not sure how I feel about my body. I gained 43 pounds with pregnancy and have lost about 20.I have minimal stretch marks that seem like they’d be pretty hard to see with a little bit of tanning. But my stomach feels like a deflated balloon and my thighs feel like jelly. I like my breasts. They’ve always been big and perky, and now they’re just bigger, which I don’t mind haha. But I can’t get over my stomach and the weird linea nigra i got which sort of curves around my bellybutton (which I’m hoping will go away,) and the ugly scar I have from the bellybutton piercing I had until I was 5 months pregnant. I feel like there is no way my husband could still find me sexy, even though he tells me that he thinks I’m even sexier now. I guess I should believe him because he hasn’t changed his sexual tendencies (he’s always been really um sexually amped up lol, he has a serious libido,) but I guess I just can’t see what he finds sexy and it’s upsetting to me. I plan to start working out today, starting with just some light yoga and a long walk with the baby (if he’s happy,) and up the intensity in the coming days and weeks. Hopefully i’ll be back here soon with more confidence!

First pic: 36 weeks pregnant
Second pic: 7 days postpartum
Third pic: 7 days postpartum
Fourth pic: My son!
Fifth pic: My husband and son

Turning Trauma into Triumph (Raashida)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1/1
1 year post partum

I am so glad I found this website! Here is my story: I had a petty easy and uneventful pregnancy. I had few to no pregnancy symptoms. Food craving, a little emotional and hypersensitive sense of smell but that’s about it. I was active duty military when I had my son and towards the end of my pregnancy I had a routine appt with a really rude and nasty, insensitive doctor. I call the commander and told him that I did not feel comfortable having my baby on base and begged and cried (literally) to be referred to an off-base hospital but they did not refer me and when I went into labor and showed up to the hospital that same horrible doctor was on call and it all went downhill from there. He talked down to me and told me basically that I didn’t go to medical school therefore I didn’t know what was going on in my own body. I was talked into getting an epidural and pitocin which put my son in distress and after 23 hours of labor I was rushed in for an emergency c-section (by a different more awesome doctor)

I was horrified and traumatized by the whole event not to mention this is my first baby and for a while I didn’t want anymore children. I filed complaint against that doctor and wrote him several letters letting him know how his terrible bedside manner forever changed my life and my view on doctors in general. For the first few weeks I did not feel connected to my baby because I was so distraught over having to lay on the bed and have him cut out of me when it could have been avoided. I felt very alone and depressed. Eventually I came out of the cloud and now I wouldnt trade my baby for all the stars in the sky :)

I struggle with my post baby body and disfiguring c-section scar and the painful memories that come rushing back every time I look at it. I don’t think I look horrible but I definitely don’t feel sexy anymore. I haven’t really worked out consistently since having my son so I know I could look a lot better with a little effort. (I am in the process of getting a personal trainer) I did bind my belly immediatley after surgery which helped tremendously in weight loss and shrinking my belly back down. I also breast fed.

My Body is Alive and Ever-Changing (Tessa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Tessa – 21 years old, mother to a 2 year old, and expecting another little boy in April 2012!

This is my third entry.
Two previous entries, here and here.

My last entry I had decided to do something about my unhappiness with my body. I was 16 months post partum and I realized it was up to me to get active if I wanted to lose the weight. My body didn’t have “bouncing back” it its dictionary. It just didn’t exist. So I took charge. I started up and kept up with the standard P90X schedule as best I could for the full 90 days. Slowly some pounds did start to come off, but not as fast as I liked. I was displeased on day 90. I was upset I hadn’t yet reached my goal, I was upset that I was still 138lbs, about 13-18lbs above my weight goal. I remotivated myself with Tony’s expression, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your body!” I decided to take a short break before I started up with round 2.

… and then I discovered I was pregnant. We were happy, shocked(surprise!), and I was having some anxiety about packing on more lbs when I had still more to lose. I decided to continue exercising as long as I could, and I did.. until the morning sickness hit at 6-7 weeks. Like my first pregnancy, I was sick all day, all night. I could hardly move or function until nearly 16 weeks pregnant, so exercise was out of the question. I started feeling better, but I didn’t jump back into exercising. I was being lazy. I began feeling very down about my body and weight gain (even though I was eating healthy and not gaining too much). I didn’t have a positive body image about my growing belly at all. I hated and felt that my pregnant belly was not “cute” like the first time around. I had all these stretch marks and extra skin. My pregnant belly wasn’t a cute, perfect round bump. It was frumpy, scarred, and just not what I pictured as a cute pregnant belly.

Starting about 26weeks pregnant, I finally decided it was now or never. I told myself I’d be active through this pregnancy, and gosh darn it, I had to keep my word. Since, I’ve done my best to do 10-20 minutes of exercise every day (using Tony Horton’s 10 Minute Trainer). I use weights up to 10 lbs and focus a lot on arms, legs, some cardio, and stretching. I haven’t been at it long enough to notice any change in my body, but I felt an immediate change in my sense of self esteem. I didn’t feel as disgusted when looking in the mirror. I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant, and 20 lbs gained despite strict diet. I’m hoping to keep my total weight gain under 40 lbs, and I believe I can achieve that. I’m coming to terms that I’m just NOT one of those people that ONLY gain in the belly, and that I can expect to get “fluffy” in other areas. My body simply responds to pregnancy hormones by building up fat stores, and that is completely normal. I’m just trying to avoid the 70lb+ weight gain I experienced with my first son! I know now how hard that weight comes off, and I know the negative outcome of producing a much too large baby.

I am planning an unmedicated, natural VBAC in a hospital 1 hour away with a wonderful midwive group overseen by a very natural birth friendly doctor! Not only is exercising for my own self esteem, but it is for the health and success of my VBAC baby. My first baby was 9lb 13oz. I’m hoping to produce a smaller baby, but there were many other things that contributed to the train wreck that landed me in a csection with my first son. I’m also seeing a chiropractor regularly to keep my body healthy and baby optimally positioned for labor. All around, I’m feeling much better this pregnancy and am hopeful that a much better birthing experience will leave me feeling empowered in such a remarkable way that I will not suffer as much as I did with my body image after my first son.

All in all, I know my body will continue to change. It is my job to keep it as healthy as I can, no matter what society tells me it “should” look like. Just when I thought I was getting closer to the a more perfect body, plans changed and I’m growing again. And I’ll have to lose weight again. My body is not stagnant. It is alive and ever changing. And I’m doing my best to embrace that in a positive and healthy way that leaves me encouraged and motivated to stay healthy! I do not want to accept myself as overweight, nor do I want to accept society’s view of a perfect body. I merely want to be active, toned, healthy, and happy with the appearance of my own body, as well as a good example to my own children to lead healthy, active lives.

1st picture is before/after of 90days of P90X
2nd picture is 5 weeks pregnant
3rd picture is comparison of Summer 2010(overweight!) and Summer 2011 after completing 90 days of P90X!
4th picture is me at 27 weeks pregnant, working my arms!
5th picture, my 2 year old boy!
6th picture, our little boy due in April on ultrasound!
7th picture is my growing belly at 5, 12, and 16 weeks
last picture is comparison of my belly from first son, to this pregnancy at 20 wks

4 Months PP, Breastfeeding, and Struggling with Eating Right (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

I was 19 and in my sophomore year of college 1000 miles away from home when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. My boyfriend was in school 800 miles away, and I had gotten pregnant while we were both home for Christmas Break. I was shocked, scared, etc. We moved back home, lots of struggles, and we’re finally on our feet. Our beautiful baby boy was born on September 9th, 2011. At 10 lbs, 5 oz. he was a C-Section. Not only 10 lbs 5 oz, but 23.25 inches long, my stomach was ruineddd. I was in good shape when I got pregnant. 5’8, and around 180 lbs, but I never worried much about my weight as a number because I never looked as heavy as I was. My stomach was always flat for the most part and I could get abs in no time. I gained about 65 pounds while pregnant.. thanks to my sweet tooth. So I got up to around 250-ish pounds… terrifying number to see on the scale, no matter how much I never worried about the number before. Also, I’m struggling with PPD. My boyfriend tends to ignore it… every time I’ve tried to discuss it with him he shuts down. It’s been hard with no support from him, but I went to the doctor and am now on anti-depressants that I think are helping. My son is my world, he’s PERFECT. But I’m dying to get my body back…. my stretchmarks are un…real…. I’m breastfeeding, so I’m hungry ALL THE TIMEEEE. And no matter how much “good food” I buy, I just grab quick snacks, or even make sugary things because it’s what I’m craving. It’s winter and I’m in the north so working out is difficult… I’m mostly a runner (or I was…) and a gym membership isn’t an option right now due to financial struggles. My boyfriend is super supportive with my body image issues, and tells me I’m beautiful no matter what, but as all women know, that’s never enough to convince YOU. :/ I can live with the stretch marks- I just want that flat tummy back! :(

Pic.1- 4 Month PP Stomach
Pic.2- Side View
Pic.3- Close-Up of Stretch Marks
Pic.4- 39 Weeks Pregnant
Pics. 5 & 6- Pre-Pregnancy Body

Searching For My Old Self (Kathleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, Uterine Prolapse, VBAC 21 Comments

I am 30 years old and the proud mother of two sons – a 21 month old and 9 week old. My first son was delivered via c-section and my second was a successful vbac.

I am very fond of this website and enjoy reading the many courageous and often inspiring stories.

I was forced to deliver via emergency c-section with my first son due to fetal distress. This was heart breaking for me, as I had so badly wanted to experience a natural delivery. I did however quickly come to terms with my dissapointment when I got to hold my sweet little boy for the first time. It may not have been a picture perfect delivery, but he was here, and healthy.

I wasn’t crazy about my new body after my first son, but learned to embrace it one day at a time. The section scar never bothered me. In fact, it was a reminder of the miracles of modern medicine and how the procedure saved my baby.

Fast forward to the present, and I am now 9 weeks post partum with my second beautiful son. I was so very fortunate to experience a successful vbac. I finally had a natural delivery and it was everything I had hoped it would be. My son did however arrive quickly and forcefully, and I sustained a second degree tear and a uterine prolapse. Needless to say, things are no longer the same down there.

My Dr stated that kegels will help a bit but I could consider surgical repair once we are through having children. I feel so disfigured, and it is truly affecting my ability to be intimate with my husband. He is wonderful, tender and supportive, but I have such a huge hang up about it, that I can’t allow myself to enjoy being intimate. This is only compounded by the fact that the sensation is decreased and I don’t like looking at my stretched out body.

I am trying so hard to overcome my hang ups. I have always considered myself to be a strong confident woman….but she seems to be hiding and I don’t know where to find her.

Updated here.

3 Years PP, Just Accepting Myself (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Hello ladies! First of all thanks for reading this, and thank god for this site!

I am now 3 yrs pp, and I absolutely have to say time DOES heal! At least for me, and I hope it does for you too. I had a very good pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight but was healthy and so was my baby. On my 9th month I started getting my stretch marks.. At first I thought it was the pants (LOL) since I really couldn’t see under my belly… But sure enough they grew ALL OVER.

After the baby, I weighed around 165 I am now 145 (I’m 5’4) so I still have a couple of pounds to loose but its been a LONG way and it’s not until now that’s I’m starting to accept my body. I was only 18 when I had my son and after I would get so depressed, just looking at my body and seeing everyone else so fit and skinny. I would cry for everything cause I was not happy with myself.. I didn’t even want to have sex anymore cause I thought how can I possibly feel sexy looking like this? Half of the time I was mad at my bf for no reason I would always complain and I never felt confident..

I’ve since got on a diet and started to lose weight and exercise and it’s been the best medicine!! My body is looking better although truth is it’s never gonna look how it did or how I want it too! But I’ve come to realize IT’S OKAY!! my boyfriend loves me and doesn’t mind and it took me a while but now I’m starting to not mind either. As much I hate my stretch marks I am thankful to my body for making such a healthy baby! If that’s what it had to do, stretch so much so he could fit LOL and be healthy than that’s fine.

I think confidence it’s sexy, and like I read in another post… Fake til you make it!! Feel confident in your own skin! Cause honey, When it comes down to intimacy I think the last thing your hubby is gonna be into is your stomach :) lol

I’ve started to use strivectin I thi k it’s the name, i know they sell it at sephora but I bought mines at marshalls for $60 bucks I still have to see if it helps… Tanning also helps I need to do that.

I wish I had a picture of my belly when my stretch marks were still purple but these are of now. (I’ve lost weight and exercised but I know it’s gonna be a long time before I loose my little old wrinkly flab) lol
In the one with the blue undies you can see them better..

Age: 21
Pregnancys/births: 1
Age: 3

Frustration (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Adoption, Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 14 Comments

My story is LONG and exhausting, but I like to tell it. I hope that I can be inspiration to other females that find themselves where I was, and where I am now.

Previous to my night of conception, I was a vibrant young 20 year old female. I was nearing the end of my third year in college, I spent a lot of my time at the gym, I was coaching a high school cheering team with my best friend, I was single, and I never expected to get pregnant. In fact I was not sexually active for over a year previous to this and I wasn’t planning on being sexually active. Which explains why I was not on birth control at the time.

I took a trip to Boston with my best friend to visit my cousin and his friends. We went to a small house party with just 5 guys and my best and I. I drank quite a lot of beer and I remember taking a one shot the whole entire night. I don’t remember anything after that shot. When I woke up in the morning I was clothed and alone in a bed. I was still very drunk and felt awful. My best friend was the one who woke me and the first thing she asked was if I had sex the night before. She explained that she heard someone in the room with me and she opened the door and saw one of the guys was naked so she shut the door thinking she was interrupting. I told her there was no way I would do that because I was not using birth control. Just in case though I asked the guys. They all either denied it or said they couldn’t remember anything. My friend was sure it happened though. I kind of let it slide thinking I would be okay. A month later I was two weeks late and took a pregnancy test. I of course was pregnant. I immediately got a hold of my cousin and asked him what he knew. He told me he didn’t know anything about what happened and to ask the other guys. I sent a message to each guy at the party asking if it happened without letting them know I was pregnant. They all again denied everything. I then let them all know I was pregnant and it was for sure from that night. After I admitted my pregnancy, I never again heard from any of them. In fact my own cousin stopped speaking to me. I am pro-life and abortion was completely out of the question. After a very emotional month, I started to look into adoption.

I love my child so much, and I would be a responsible and caring mother, no question. But I wanted my child to have a father, and a permanent home, and stability. I would do the best I could and my father would be a male figure in my child’s life, but I wanted more for him. I chose to have an open adoption. I started a long journey of finding out what I had to do and how I had to do it. I found a family on Adoption.org. After speaking with their adoption agent for a while, I finally arranged to meet them in person. I fell in love with the couple I chose. They are both in their thirties, they are unable to have children, married for 8 years, and the perfect two people to raise my child. We became very close over the following 6 months of my pregnancy.

Our baby was born November 30, 2011 after 16 long hours of labor. I tried to do the birth natural. I went 12 hours pushing before the doctor came in and asked me to please have an epidural. I was so tired that I had been falling asleep in between the contractions, he felt that I would be to exhausted to push. I felt defeated and went through with the epidural. An hour later I had not progressed and the doctor came back to tell me I would have to be induced. Again I felt defeated. It was two hours later that my doctor returned and said something was wrong, the baby was not dropping and I needed to have an emergency c section. I could not stop crying. I felt like a failure as a women. For years women had babies naturally and here I was unable. Thank God for my c section though, the umbilical cord was wrapped three times around my babies neck.

The adoption process was the hardest part. I had 2 weeks of legal custody even though my baby was with his parents during that time. For almost an entire month I saw baby and the parents every day before he finally got to move home. I have never felt heartbreak like I did the day I said goodbye. Thankfully I see pictures of him daily and I will be visiting him in 3 months. I have a lot of emotions still and I feel that emptiness everyday, but I am moving forward in my life.

In picking my life back up, I am trying to get back in the shape. Previous to my pregnancy I was 132 lbs and the day I gave birth I was 170 lbs. I am now 6 weeks and 4 days pp. Due to my c section, I was unable to exercise until this week. Thankfully pumping breast milk helped me loose the majority of my weight, I am now 138 lbs. I have started to exercise again but I feel awful about how I look and how hard it is to work out. I don’t know of any other women who have had a c section outside of older women. I can’t relate with anyone my age and I am feeling hopeless…

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 weeks 4 days PP

Pictures:
The first picture is New Years Eve 2012.
The second is my baby and I two weeks pp.
The third is me 3 months pregnant with my best friend.
The fourth picture is me 38 almost 39 weeks.
The 5th and 6th are me at 36 weeks – pre stretch marks.
The last 3 pictures are me today at 6 weeks pp.

4 Babies in 3 Years (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Twins 12 Comments

Hi,
I’m 35, mother of 4 beautiful children.
My PP weight was in 110-120 range. My first – twin pregnancy my weight went up to 198 lb, I went back to 115 lb 9 month after.
18 after the twins I’ve had my third beautiful baby and my weight was up to 170 lb. Again I lost all extra weight by the 9th month after the delivery.
Two years later I’ve had my fourth baby and my weight went up to 165lb. I’ve managed to lose 35 lb, but the rest is still with me.
I feel as if I had been more athletic I could get in the better shape, but my flabby belly will always stay with me and I hate it.
My husband is being very supportive and still very attracted to me sexually which means a lot. In general I feel very proud of my children, my husband and myself. Right clothes, nice hair, lipstick and wedges – and carry myself like a model, makes people turn their heads whenever I get out with all of my babies who are 5,5,4 and 2 now and I feel good. Carry yourself tall, girls, and your bellies will look flatter and your breasts fill sit higher and everyone will see how gorgeous you really are.