First Pregnancy

Overcoming (Brittany)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 20
Number of births and pregnancies: 1 birth and pregnancy
4 months postpartum

My name is Brittany. I am a proud mother to a 4 month old little girl and wife to a wonderful and patient husband. I have been struggling to accept the way my new body looks since I was pregnant. I was a slim 135 pounds before the pregnancy and an avid runner. However I gained a whopping 70 pounds and have buried myself in a hole of self-pity since delivery (partially to due to postpartum depression as well). I have stretch marks on my breasts, belly, bum and legs. It had gotten so bad at one point that I couldn’t even watch TV without breaking into tears over a sexy woman on a commercial or show. I am really glad I found this website. It is good to know that I am not the only one who has to overcome issues with her postpartum body.

My Horizontal Bellybutton (A.C.)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

Motherhood has drastically changed me in every conceivable way. I think, sleep, eat and shower differently, and I also have a body that is incomparable to the one I used to inhabit. My baby was born two weeks later than expected, and, during that time, my skin developed deep stretch marks. I will always vividly remember taking a hand mirror to view the underside of my belly and bursting into tears.

I have always been a fitness enthusiast with a tight midsection, so it was a bit of a challenge for me to accept my “new” post-baby body.After carrying around a 9.2 lb. baby for 42 weeks, my appearance has been drastically altered. My belly button is even different! (it used to be vertical and very deep, now its shallow and quite horizontal. )

However, any mother will tell you that the stellar joy a baby brings is well worth and “boo-boos” incurred along the way. At times, it’s hard for me to see the beauty in a body that appears to have aged significantly in a few short months .But, I am learning to appreciate the amazing and sacred thing that motherhood has allowed my body to do and become. I am proud of myself for attempting to stay in shape after having a baby. I am okay with the fact that my mid-section and hips are permanently widened. But my horizontal belly button and stretch marks probably won’t be seeing daylight in a bikini anytime soon!
~AC

–>The pictures below are of my belly at 40 weeks pregnant, and 4 months Post-Partum. My iphone provided a more flattering torso shot, while my camera gave a true, honest view of my stretch marks! :)

22 years old, 1 child, 4 months pp

In The Home Stretch 235 lbs to 160 lbs (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 25
Number of Pregnancies and births: 1
Age of child/PP: 29 months

Pre-Pregnancy I was 235 lbs (I’m 5’7) I was considered Obese my BMI was over 35!!! When I got pregnant I had really bad morning sickness for the first 20 weeks. I was on Phenergan and Zofran. I lost 10 lbs my first 20 weeks of my pregnancy because I could hardly keep anything down. By the end of my pregnancy I had gained those 10 lbs back. I went in to give birth to my son weighing 235 lbs and I left the hospital weighing in at 212 lbs!!!!! My son weighed in at a whopping 8lbs 14oz and 21.5 inches long. I was 8 days past my due date. When my son was 3 months old I joined Weight Watchers. My first year doing Weight Watchers I lost 52 lbs. I went from a size 18 to a size 10. I’ve lost a total of 75 lbs. I have recently started following Jillian Michaels “Mastering Your Metabolism”. I’m finding I’m left with a lot of extra skin. Which is rather disgusting. I’m still coming to terms with my body. Don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying being a healthy size again finally. BUT I’m a single mother and I’m dating again and honestly, who is going to find my body sexy? I do Yoga, Pilates, Budokon, Zumba, and a dance cardio class called ‘Happy Hour’ all in efforts to tighten this loose skin up. I’m shrinking majorly in inches but this skin just keeps hanging in there (literally haha). I think down the road I will look into getting the extra skin removed. I guess I decided to post my struggle in hopes to reach someone who is in the position I was a year and a half ago. To all you women out there it is possible to lose the weight and reclaim your body! It doesn’t come fast, but it will come. Just hang in there. Measure and take pictures of your progress to keep yourself going! I’ve tracked all my weight loss so I can keep looking back at it and see how far I’ve come! My son was a precious gift who made me want to get to a healthier weight. I am not a fan of going to the gym to work out, but exercise is an important part of weight loss. I get bored using cardio equipment so I found a gym that has really good classes and I have a friend that goes with me. We actually have a lot of fun doing all the classes I listed. Budokon is something I highly recommend looking into! I lost 1 inch off my arms in 3 weeks doing Budokon. Yoga is also awesome to tone up those arms and your core. Zumba is amazing as well I typically burn 400 calories in 40-45 minutes . P.S. You can’t see it in my pictures, but I have a TON of faded stretch marks and I do have that line of hangy skin that my pants or underwear is covering. Good-bye low rise jeans….hello mid-rise jeans! Haha

Pic #1 – Me at 34 wks Pregnant
Pic #2- Me at 39 wks Pregnant
Pic #3- Is a collage of me 6 wks PP, 12 months PP, and 18 months PP
Pic#4- Is a collage of 20 months PP, and 22 months PP
Pic#5- Is a Front view of me 18 months PP
Pic#6- is a Front view of me 22 months PP
Pic#7- Me Pre-Pregnancy and Me 20 mon PP

Krystle

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Infertility, PCOS, Postpartum, Pregnant, PUPPP Rash, Submissions 8 Comments

Age: 23
Number of Pregnancies/Births: 1
Almost 13 weeks postpartum
Keywords: postpartum, pregnancy, 1st time mom, vaginal birth

After trying for months to conceive unsuccessfully, my husband and I visited a new OB who prescribed clomid. I believed that I was not ovulating, however he thought everything was fine. I got pregnant on the first round of clomid and we were so excited. It was shortlived because the entire pregnancy was a roller coaster from the very beginning. I thought that I just had a cyst from the clomid because of extreme pain, the gyno (not ob, different office) asked me to take a pregnancy test to make sure. I just KNEW i wasn’t pregnant because I had been in the hospital around february 22nd for the same pain which they attributed to my interstitial cystitis and I was negative. Last period was 2/2/09 & I took clomid on days 3-5. We ended up conceiving on February 14th, between all of the pain and my interstitial cystitis flair that was the only time we had sex within the correct time span.
Much to my surprise, the test was positive. I was like, “what the hell is this?!” So i waited a few hours and took a digital test to be sure.

I went in and had an ultrasound done, which showed I did have a large cyst and it looked like my uterus was getting ready for an implantation but the egg had not yet implanted. This was on March 4th, I went to Florida that week for a vacation with a friend and had alot of pain. The ER dated me 5 weeks 6 days and no heartbeat but not ectopic. A week later exactly I went back to my gyno here, they dated me 5 weeks 6 days, low heart rate (low 80’s) and said to prepare that I would probably lose the baby. I was devastated. Then i got to thinking..I couldn’t have been 5 weeks 6 days that week prior and they must have measured wrong and I was so upset that the doctor didn’t think of any alternative reasoning. Plus the heart had just formed so it’s going to have a low rate. I got a 2nd opinion 2 days later and our babies heart was still beating, still on the low side but she ended up being just fine. I was on bedrest from 16-19 weeks then i had a partial placental abruption and hemorrhaged at 22 weeks, so I was on bedrest for another 3 weeks after that. I had spotting the entire pregnancy and I didn’t start to really enjoy any of it until the 3rd trimester.

I’m 5’1 and pre-pregnancy I weighed around 123. I’ve never had a flat stomach, but I was happy with my weight. I wore a size 5 jeans/pants, however most of my jeans were bigger 3’s that I shoved my fat butt into anyway. We all have our favorite jeans that we don’t want to give up. When i was 18 I weighed 107, and by the end of 2007 I weighed 115 and then ended up around 123. I actually ate better during the weight gain but honestly i wasn’t every super skinny, imo. For my height/build I was pretty average.

I started to get stretchmarks around 16 weeks..on my butt, and ended up with them everywhere. I have them on my stomach, thighs, butt, CALVES! I got PUPPS also, which made them appear much worse.
Upon delivery I weighed 165lbs. I remember how upset I was when i went over the 160 mark. I didn’t gain a single pound up until the 19week mark and I was pretty upset by that. My clothes didn’t fit & I had to wear maternity clothes but weight was I was not up at all. I ended up making up for it, that’s for sure!
I had a very quick labor (under 7 hours start to finish) and a completely natural birth complete with 40+ stitches from an episotomy. Even with a not so great pregnancy and hard birth recovery we both wanted #2 right away. We are now on the one & done train, for multiple reasons. One reason is that I can’t stand to see what my body would like like after #2, and I know thats selfish but thats how I feel, honestly.

I’ve seen a couple women on this site who look EXACTLY like I do which is comforting. I’m hoping I will, “go down” more, but don’t have much faith in that.

I wouldn’t be having such a hard time dealing with my new body if six, SIX people in public hadn’t asked me, when I was due/didn’t know I was expecting/wow you’re having 2 really close together/when are you gonna have that baby/is it a boy or girl. SERIOUSLY? That’s what has really given me serious body image issues.

I also think that if my breasts were even slightly bigger (i’m a small A) maybe my stomach wouldn’t look so huge..it’d be more proportional.

I’m hoping I can find the time to workout and stick with it, i’m working full time right now and I feel that I don’t have enough time in the day already!

Thanks ladies! (sorry so long!!)

My current weight is 140lbs.

ETA… I’ve since been diagnosed with PCOS, (I knew something was up because I still had not starting my period at 10 weeks post partum & I only breastfed for a few days before my supply dried up/she wouldn’t latch) So I really wasn’t ovulating which is why we couldn’t get pregnant.

Undewear only photo is today, 2.8.2010, bra photo was 12.7.2009 & at 38 weeks 3 days pregnant, I delivered at 39 weeks 5 days. And finally, my gorgeous daughter, Peyton. She really was worth all of it, don’t get me wrong.

5 months PP and doing ok (Amy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 16 Comments

Age: 21
Number of Pregnancies: 1
Number of Children: 1
PP: 5 months

Hi my name is Amy and I am 21 years old. Here’s my story. I have been married to my husband for about a year and a half now and we are very happy together. He shops and does the cooking, he is just great! We decided to try for a baby straight after getting married and fell pregnant after a few months of trying. I started my pregnancy at 43kgs (about 95 lbs) and ended up putting on 11kgs (24 lbs). I had a very easy pregnancy with no morning sickness or anything. After only 5 hours of labor, I gave birth to my beautiful son naturally using only the gas for pain relief. By the time I got to the hospital I was too far gone for anything else! He weighed 6 lbs. 12 oz. I only got a couple of grazes, no tears and only a couple of small stretch marks around my belly button, but lots on my boobs. So overall I was really lucky. I lost my pregnancy weight in a couple of months. I breastfed only for 5 weeks but I think that helped my stomach go down quite significantly in the beginning.

I exercised a lot before I fell pregnant and all the way through my pregnancy everyday. 5 weeks after giving birth I started exercising again, but I must say now that I am working on a casual basis I haven’t been doing much at all. I also have found that my knees have gotten very weak so it has made it quite hard to get into shape. I have always had a very healthy diet and ate just the same through my pregnancy. I have struggled with body issues forever but never so much as I am now. I feel so unattractive. My boobs are so small and saggy I hate my husband seeing them. I know he loves me but I also know that we need to be attracted to one another to have a good relationship and I just don’t see how he could find me attractive now.

I have already had a consultation for a breast lift and augmentation but I will be waiting until I have another baby first. I am so scared of what I will look like after another baby but I don’t want to be selfish and not have any more just because I am worried about my body. Having a baby has been the most wonderful experience of my life. My hubby really wants another one too and I would hate to disappoint him.

The pics are of me at 36 wks and me 4 months pp. I don’t have any more recent but I look about the same!

Hating my new body, but loving my daughter. Teen mom. (Lindsey)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 36 Comments

Age- 17
First pregnancy and first birth to my daughter.
Cesarean (couldn’t dialate past a 6)

Hey everyone, my name is Lindsey. First off I want to say I love this website, and everyone on it who shared their stories… I had to debate if I wanted to post my story on here because I was scared to for the longest time, but everyone’s stories made me feel like I could do it too.

I was 16 when I got pregnant, and 17 when I had my daughter. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, he tells me that he loves me for me, but it is really hard for me to accept it.. Through out my whole pregnancy I was doing great, I didnt have morning sickness and I wasn’t moody, I was a happy pregnant person, until 32 weeks came around.. I noticed a tiny stretch mark on my butt, I was worried and I started freaking out, but then I got over it because there was nothing I could do about it.. Days started passing and more stretch marks started to appear.. I am now covered in stretch marks, I have them on my butt, my boobs, my stomach, the front of my thighs, the back of my thighs, the back of my calves, theyre everywhere… My nipples have gotten huge and dark, and my boobs are like pancakes now. I can’t help but be upset about it because I feel disgusting. I have the most difficult time looking in the mirror and I cry every time I see myself naked. I hated my body before I was pregnant, but now I miss it more then anything in this world.. I go to sleep crying, I wake up crying, I just can’t stop crying, I’m crying right now just writing about it.. I feel so unnatractive and I feel like if me and my boyfriend ever split up I’ll never find a man who will think I’m sexy. I mean why would a guy want to be with me when there is other girls out there who don’t have the type of body I have.. Like, I’d feel like if they were with me, they’d always have that thought in the back of their head of being with a girl who’s more fit and doesnt have stretch marks.. So I feel like if a guy ever calls me beautiful, or sexy, he’s just lieing. I don’t think Id ever be comfortable in any relationship with those thoughts in the back of my head, which would eventually cause the guy to leave me because he’s tired of me complaining about it. My boyfriend gets upset when I talk to him about it too, because I ALWAYS feel like he’s lieing to me, because I know Im ugly and my body is disgusting.. I could ramble on for hours about that subject, I just want people to understand what Im saying.. I weighed 145 before I got pregnant, and then weighed 190 at the end of my pregnancy, and now I weigh 168. I dont even feel like exercising or anything to go back to my normal weight because what’s the point in losing weight if I’m never going to feel good about myself? Has anyone else felt like this, I feel alone.. I dont think I’ll ever be happy with myself. I love being a mom and I love my daughter more then anything in this world, but I feel so nasty when it comes to myself and the way I look… Someone please help me accept this…

1st picture- Before I got pregnant.
2nd- Me 4.5 weeks post partum (I’m 5+ weeks right now, but look the same).
last- My daughter Nova who was born on December 23rd, 2009. Picture was taken on Christmas at the hospital right before we went home.
I would’ve taken more pictures of myself then what I did but I couldnt because I’m to embarrassed..
These pictures dont even do any justice of what I look like in real life.. =[

Updated here.

28, and still coming to grips with my new body (M)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 11 Comments

My pre-birth weight was about 140, and I am 5′ 9″. I am a former athlete that was used to a typical body weight of 160-165, so the loss of almost 20 lbs in muscle mass was a huge loss in dress sizes as well as curves. I was pretty used to be a little on the curvy and muscular side. Losing that much mass (due to being a vegan for nearly 8 months; don’t ask). When I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant, I started asking my midwife’s assistant to stop saying my weight out loud when I got weighed, and would routinely turn the other direction when she took my weight. I felt completely healthy, and I didn’t like that they would occasionally make a comment about how much I had gained. I do estimate that I was about 205 when I gave birth. And trust me; it was ALL baby.

I’d like to say that I was much happier with my body before my son was born, but the truth is that I never really was. I look back on that now and remember what it was like to have a stretchmark-free stomach, and regret not relishing the shape of my body while I still had it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was completely happy the bigger I got with him. I loved the fullness of being pregnant, and relishing the fact that I was totally without any stretching, until I hit 7 months, when I noticed a little cluster above my pelvic region, and that’s when I, much like many other women, completely panicked. It wasn’t long before I realized that there was now no way to stop the inevitable, and luckily I was able to keep from really paying much mind to them, because they were below my belly button, which was over the proverbial hill, where I couldn’t see them.

It wasn’t until after my son was finally born and my stomach deflated that I saw for the first time all the angry red striations all over my belly. It was in the weeks after my son was born that it really sunk in for me how much my body had changed, and how I was most likely never going to be the same.

I spent a lot of the next months avoiding looking directly at myself in the mirror, or really looking at myself the way I used to, almost like it was someone else I was looking at.

I was positively elated when I fond this site, that, like me, the mothers of the world were stretched and a bit saggy, and all finding ourselves trying to come to terms with how much things are different, and what we’ve had to give up for our children.

Each of the stories I have read have been beautiful and inspiring, which is why I chose to share mine as well. Though it’s nothing specific, and sometimes a thing I don’t have to focus on, just the knowledge that both my overly-bloated stomach (which, I confess; I suck in 70% of the time I’m in public and can’t get away with letting it hang out), and my droopy breasts happened because I had my son, comforts me. My boyfriend, who’s never seen me without my mother’s body, still thinks my body is beautifully shaped, and we enjoy being physical together, I have to admit that I am looking forward to a time in the future (which I hope will be near, and not far!), when I am able to slim down a bit more on the weight I put on during my pregnancy.

You may also choose to include:
~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, resulted in 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12 months (as of 1/29/2010)

Starting to Accept My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months post partum

After two miscarriages I finally have my beautiful baby! Throughout pregnancy I loved my new body and was amazed watching it grow. I was lucky, I didn’t have stretch marks and I didn’t gain much extra weight. I was genuinely happy with the way I looked for the first time ever and enjoyed the special feeling of knowing that I was carrying a special, secret little person inside my big bump.

All that changed when I had my daughter.

After what many would class as an ‘unnecessary’ (or at the very least ‘premature’) caesarian I struggled to bond with my daughter, I struggled to accept the birth that she had had and struggled to come to terms with the difference in my body. I think the fact that I hadn’t given birth to her myself made the whole idea very abstract: to suddenly go from a pregnant belly with squirming baby inside to jelly belly and all of a sudden I am handed this baby. Well it was hard to accept. To top it off I suddenly woke up with stretch marks. Not only on my hips but on my breasts! That one blindsided me.

Four months on and I feel I have made some progress. I have always had small breasts so breastfeeding has been a real bonus – “nature’s boob job” someone called it and how right they are! In these photos I have just fed my daughter but they are normally a good size bigger. I am pleased to have a bit more curve to my top half.

I am not so upset with my figure. I have always carried a little extra fat (I was a UK12 pre-pregnancy and am a UK14 now) but I can usually hide the flab under my clothing. I even went on holiday recently and wore a bikini (although I did feel extremely self conscious in it).

The scar has healed better than I thought it would but it is still an ugly reminder of the way things went, but it is also proof that I have conceived and nurtured an incredible little life inside me for 9 months. It is hard to accept my body. I was no racing snake before but it is still a big change and hard to come to terms with. But my husband has been amazing and makes me feel just as sexy as when we first started going out. He has helped my self confidence and self esteem no end!

As for bonding, I am still waiting for someone to knock on the door and tell me “it’s all a big joke, you have to give her back now!”. I hope it never happens and I am constantly amazed at this incredible little person that we have created together.

I happened across this website by chance and I am so glad I did. I immediately wanted to participate. I wasn’t shy about showing off my pregnant body (not to this extent I hasten to add!) but I was still very hesitant. I thought about doing ‘underwear shots’ but then decided I would bare all and go for the full monty! And how liberating! I have never ever taken nude photos of myself before and I am so glad I did. If my stretch marks, love handles and podgy bits make other ladies feel even a little bit better about themselves then I am glad I did it. Thank you!!

Photos attached are at 33 weeks pregnant and 4 months (18 weeks) post partum.

New Baby, Same Body (Kyra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 27
Months Postpartum: 5

I’ve been planning on this post for over a year. I visited this site frequently, before, during and after my pregnancy. I love reading all your stories. There is something I can relate to in each one. I think us women should remember that we are more alike than we are different. So I am honored to be able to share my baby/mommy story with others.

My husband and I became pregnant with our first daughter in November 2008. Naturally, it was one of the best days of my life. The first 14 weeks were a real nail-biter because I had had a miscarriage July 2008 at 12 weeks. During the first trimester I had daily ‘afternoon’ sickness. I’d have to veer my Jeep off the road coming home from work, swing open the door and, well, you know! Needless to say, I actually lost a few pounds. When that passed, I ate ravenously for the next 6 weeks or so and gained 20 pounds stat. My weight gain, and appetite stabilized for the remainder of my pregnancy and I gained about 1lb a week until the last three weeks when I gained nothing. The total was 35lbs on my 5’4″ frame.

I didn’t try to control anything during my pregnancy. I decided to let my body dictate what it wanted. I ate when I was hungry and went out for a walk when I felt like it (which was not very often :-). There was no exercise or nutrition regime. I tend to eat healthier anyways though I still indulged my cravings for Ben and Jerry’s and Cheetos. Two words to describe my pregnancy : sick and tired.

My sweet baby girl was born after 7.5 hours of labor. I labored for 5 hours at home and by the time we got to the hospital I was 10cm and ready to go. Trust me, that wasn’t planned. I didn’t expect my first pregnancy to progress that fast. I thought I had a good 14-16 hours or so! The nurses were debating having me deliver in triage. But my husband made them wheel me to a suite, which was a good thing because I spent the next 2 hours pushing. No progress! And NO medication! Mercifully, the attending doctor gave me the option of a forceps delivery which I readily accepted. When her head crowned, it was the most intense pain I have ever felt! No wonder they call it the ‘ring of fire’ :-) But it WAS kind of spiritual in a way and I’m glad it was there. A few minutes later my beautiful baby daughter Anna was born at 5lbs 15oz. I was on a ‘baby high’ for the next few weeks I was so happy! I honestly didn’t even get the baby blues.

I never got her to latch on without a nipple shield (&other reasons) so an Ameda double pump was my best friend for the next 3 months. I had to use nipple pads from the 4th month of pregnancy until I stopped breast feeding – leaking sucked. By the way, my breasts are not as perky as the sports bra in my ‘after’ picture makes them seem. I wish. That’s my biggest post-pregnancy body change.

At 3 months, after I switched to formula, I lost another 10lbs. Also around that time I began to lose my hair at a pretty alarming rate. I do have super long hair which is probably why it seemed so bad. But it has recently begun to taper off. Phew!

I love my daughter sooooo much! I never gave her a pacifier so she sucks on her ring&middle finger to soothe herself. She started sleeping through the night from 7pm-7am around 3 months and is eating 1st foods. I am so proud of her! I give her baths in the tub with me and she’d rather play with her shampoo bottle and the silver tub hardware, than her toys. She is such a joy! We definitely plan to have another child in a few years – I’ll keep you updated!

The 1st and 2nd pictures were taken at my 6th week, when I found out I was pregnant: 110 lbs, C-cup
The 3rd and 4th pictures were taken at my 38th week, a few days before I gave birth. You can really see the weight on my face and my wedding rings didn’t fit so they are around my neck: 145 lbs, D-cup
The 5th and 6th pictures were taken 1/29/2010, about 5 months postpartum: 105 lbs, small C-cup
The 7th and 8th pictures were taken when my daughter was 3 months old.

My Twin Mom Body @ 1 Year Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 22 Comments

I delivered twin boys via c-section in January ’09 at age 38. Now I am 39 (40 later this year). For many years pre-pregnancy, I worked out frequently and intensely. I am 5’5″ tall, and at the time I got pregnant (my first and only pregnancy), I was very fit and weighed about 120 pounds. I definitely was concerned with what pregnancy would do to my body, but I also knew I had to gain a great deal of weight, and do so relatively quickly, since twins were more likely than not to come early, and I wanted mine to be as big and healthy as possible. I exercised mildly through week 30 or so, and religiously applied vitamin E oil to my belly, back, butt and thighs, though I knew this would probably have little or no effect. By the day I delivered at 34 weeks (when my preeclampsia became too severe for my doctor to allow me to continue with the pregnancy), I weighed over 190 pounds; my boys weighed 4 lbs & 3 oz., and 4 lbs 13 oz. at delivery. Although they had to spend a couple of weeks gaining weight in the NICU, the doctors and nurses all told me how impressed they were with boys’ sizes given their gestational age.

I nursed and pumped my breasts until the boys were 6 months old, and then switched to formula. During this time, when I wasn’t going crazy taking care of twin infants, I was despondent about my weight and my body but had absolutely no time to exercise or do anything else for myself. I wore maternity clothes for at least 4 months postpartum, and then bought 2 pairs of large cargo pants (I couldn’t come to terms with buying any other “big” clothing), and wore them to death, along with empire-waisted nursing tops. Lots of weight came off, but still I couldn’t stand the sight of myself naked, and avoided my friends and colleagues. By July ’09 I was down to around 145 pounds.

By September ’09, I was still up about 20 pounds, and vowed to do something about it. By that time I had the assistance of a nanny to help with the kids, and could take some time to exercise. I started going back to the gym, but even with help it was too difficult to have to schedule workouts outside the house. I committed myself to a home workout program, and followed through (note this involves approximately 1,000 abdominal exercise repetitions weekly — in addition to very challenging resistance routines for each major muscle group). By Thanksgiving, I felt like I had 90% of my old body back. I am now half-way through my second round of the program, and I can actually see my old body when I look in the mirror — so long as I’m standing far back enough not to notice that my areolas are a bit stretched out, and I have a bit of extra skin on my belly. I am actually very self-conscious about my areolas, but the extra belly skin is okay and I love my c-section scar!

My husband hasn’t given me any positive feedback on my body whatsoever. I have worked my butt off (literally), and am really pretty proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished, which is why I’m sharing here.

As for my boys, they are absolutely amazing. Within a few months, they were all caught up in terms of their prematurity. Now, at just over a year out, they are healthy, hilarious, gorgeous and smart. I love them beyond all measure.