28, and still coming to grips with my new body (M)

My pre-birth weight was about 140, and I am 5′ 9″. I am a former athlete that was used to a typical body weight of 160-165, so the loss of almost 20 lbs in muscle mass was a huge loss in dress sizes as well as curves. I was pretty used to be a little on the curvy and muscular side. Losing that much mass (due to being a vegan for nearly 8 months; don’t ask). When I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant, I started asking my midwife’s assistant to stop saying my weight out loud when I got weighed, and would routinely turn the other direction when she took my weight. I felt completely healthy, and I didn’t like that they would occasionally make a comment about how much I had gained. I do estimate that I was about 205 when I gave birth. And trust me; it was ALL baby.

I’d like to say that I was much happier with my body before my son was born, but the truth is that I never really was. I look back on that now and remember what it was like to have a stretchmark-free stomach, and regret not relishing the shape of my body while I still had it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was completely happy the bigger I got with him. I loved the fullness of being pregnant, and relishing the fact that I was totally without any stretching, until I hit 7 months, when I noticed a little cluster above my pelvic region, and that’s when I, much like many other women, completely panicked. It wasn’t long before I realized that there was now no way to stop the inevitable, and luckily I was able to keep from really paying much mind to them, because they were below my belly button, which was over the proverbial hill, where I couldn’t see them.

It wasn’t until after my son was finally born and my stomach deflated that I saw for the first time all the angry red striations all over my belly. It was in the weeks after my son was born that it really sunk in for me how much my body had changed, and how I was most likely never going to be the same.

I spent a lot of the next months avoiding looking directly at myself in the mirror, or really looking at myself the way I used to, almost like it was someone else I was looking at.

I was positively elated when I fond this site, that, like me, the mothers of the world were stretched and a bit saggy, and all finding ourselves trying to come to terms with how much things are different, and what we’ve had to give up for our children.

Each of the stories I have read have been beautiful and inspiring, which is why I chose to share mine as well. Though it’s nothing specific, and sometimes a thing I don’t have to focus on, just the knowledge that both my overly-bloated stomach (which, I confess; I suck in 70% of the time I’m in public and can’t get away with letting it hang out), and my droopy breasts happened because I had my son, comforts me. My boyfriend, who’s never seen me without my mother’s body, still thinks my body is beautifully shaped, and we enjoy being physical together, I have to admit that I am looking forward to a time in the future (which I hope will be near, and not far!), when I am able to slim down a bit more on the weight I put on during my pregnancy.

You may also choose to include:
~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, resulted in 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12 months (as of 1/29/2010)

11 thoughts on “28, and still coming to grips with my new body (M)

  • Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:47 am

    You’re beautiful mama! So womanly and sensual. I’d kill to have your breasts too… very full and not saggy looking at all to me. Seriously, who passes the pencil test anyhow :) Your curves are beautiful, your skin is flawless and your stretch marks are barely noticeable at all. Listen to your your boyfriend… he’s a smart man & lucky to have such a hot mama!!

  • Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:53 am

    your stretchies arnt even clear or “out there” … and u have a nice curvy body!… u shud see my stretchies theyre horrible!

  • Friday, February 26, 2010 at 11:11 am

    You look great! IM JEALOUS! You’re very curvey and sexy. Your breasts look good too, like the other lady said, I’d kill to have your boobs because they’re nice and full and not pointng down like mine. And trust you’re boyfriend, you’re beautiful!! You’re stretch marks arent even noticable, I didnt even think you had any until I saw the 4th picture. But even so, they arent even that noticeable at all.

  • Friday, February 26, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    girl you look great, tons of women would kill to look like you, dont stress! your hot!

  • Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 1:49 am

    You look fab!! I cant even tell you have stretchies!!!!! I feel like we look a lot alike (check out my post- from hot to not) I feel the same way you do, looking in the mirror and you feel like your looking at someone else. Or you feel like its allll a dream and you’ll wake in the morning and have you old body back but then reality slaps you hard in the face when you wake up and realize that the body you see IS actually yours..ya I can totally relate. Your son is adorable and your stretchies are tiny..give it a little more time and I bet they’ll barely be noticeable.

  • Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 3:16 am

    My goodness what a beautiful baby and a beautiful mommy! Keep your head up! Your stretch marks are so teeny!

  • Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 3:42 am

    YOu are beautiful! If there’s one thing I wish I gained from pregnancy it’s a bit of curve (in the right places)! May I say you have ’em.

  • Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I have to be honest, I think you look hot!! Your body looks perfect to me, I’d love to look like you ;-) In your second photo you look really fit and tight, I would have never even known that you had stretch marks without the closeup. Your little guy is gorgeous!

  • Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    You DO look hot! I was a swimmer for my college and gained a ton more weight than you have. And your stretch marks are really light compared to mine. :) Very sexy mama body!

  • Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    I just wanted to say that I’m 29 and 6 months pregnant now. I don’t have any stretch marks now (and I hope to not have any, but we’ll see!) and your story is similar to mine. I was 145-150 pre pregnancy and I was also an athlete and was always “heavier” due to muscle. People used to think I weighed 130 or so when I weighed 150. Anyway, I have gained 13 lbs so far (at 24 weeks pregnant) and I’m not sure how much more I will gain but I’m thinking I’ll be at 175 or so towards the end (maybe more).

    I just wanted to tell you that you look great! And I hope to look as good as you a year after giving birth.

  • Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 7:07 am

    M, you look great in these photos, your breasts don’t look at all droopy. You should feel extremely proud of yourself when you look in the mirror.

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