Belly

The Ever-Elusive Belly Button (Lulu)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 17 Comments

When me and my husband first got married, everyone incessantly pestered us about when we were going to have kids. We told them, quite firmly, that we were going to wait at least five years… by then we’d be good and ready. My mother would always laugh at this, and told us bluntly that she’d be surprised if we weren’t expecting within the year.
Low and behold, I was pregnant within two months! We were rather devastated; We were only 20 years old. We were not ready for children. I suppose we were rather stupid. We weren’t particularly vigilant when it came to using protection. It’s just that the both of us were virgins on our wedding day which, don’t get me wrong, is WONDERFUL that we are able to share ourselves with no one else but each other, but neither of us had ever had to worry about that sort of thing before, and thus a lack of experience in the matter lead to the conception of our son Dominic.
I gained about 40-45 lbs. during my pregnancy, which due to my spectacular health, went wonderfully. Well, mostly. I had dreadful morning sickness for a good two months. I threw up at least 6-9 times a day, and had given up on the luxury of eating, and even still my stomach found some mysterious contents with which to regurgitate. Not a great venture for a dental chair-side assistant.
Either way, I made it through alright, and gave birth to a 9 lb. 0 oz. baby boy. My labour was short, but all in my back. I felt nothing in my stomach! I made it through without and pain meds, which is not a spectacular feet as I was only in labour for less than 5 hours starting from the first twinges of discomfort, ending with the birth.
I lost the weight just fine. I was back in my jeans within a month! After my two week postpartum checkup, he even heard my midwife joking with the receptionist, “She didn’t loose that weight! She just gave it all to that baby!” (He was, and still is, a rolly-polly little tyke. At nine months he is the weight of a one year old!)
Months go by, and I am back to my pre-pregnancy wieght (144… I still want to lose 8-9 lbs. to get to the weight I was in high school) but I seem to have misplaced my belly button. Oh, no. Wait. There is is. Hiding under a fold of skin. There you are! He’s a little camera shy, it would seem.
I love this website! I have spent three months looking at pictures posted here; some bellies are far better than mine, others far worse than mine. What I have not been able to find, however, is a belly on par with mine. Does anyone else have this issue with their belly? I have seen stretch marks, rolls, and sagging skin, but not like mine! I am a bit envious that everyone else on this website has a visible belly button. Perhaps not the one they are familiar with, but it is there!
I have never been worried about the way I look before; I was always the funny girl that was just one of the guys. But I can safely say that I had a pretty rockin’ body! Now even that one thing I could be proud of is gone. Dust in the wind, baby. I guess I didn’t know what I had till it was gone!
I have no pictures of my pre-preg belly as I have always been rather modest. But I have some pictures of my belly now.
The first two are 8 months postpartum. The next two are nine months. The 4th is me about a month before I got pregnant, the fifth is me at about 7 months pregnant, and the last one is me with my beautiful boy! (He has a birthmark under his eye.)
Has anyone ever seen such a belly? My mother always says it will get better. “Just look at my belly after five kids!” she says. Of course, she never had stretch marks, and even at 48 years old she could be a model. Does any one think this will get better? I have seen no progress.

Big Tee & Little Tee (Tee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1 pregnancy, 1 birth
Age of child: 5

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and I was scared to death. I was a junior in college, my boyfriend (now husband) was stationed in another state and neither of us knew anything about babies. We had tons of support from our family and without them I can’t imagine what kind of shape we’d have been in. I was about 115 when I got pregnant and gained 65 pounds during the pregnancy. My mom told me not to worry about it “you’re young-you’ll bounce right back!” After 19 hours of labor, a swift bikini cut and a few stitches, we met our brand new 10 pound baby. Everyone was impressed that itty bitty me birthed such a huge baby, I was just glad it was over. Between trying to finish school during the day, going to work in the afternoon and sometimes going back to school in the evening, going home and spending time with my daughter and studying for the next test (husband by now came home as often as he could but got deployed to Iraq when she was 8 months) weight took a back seat. It was a fleeting thought from time to time but I had an already full plate. By her first birthday (and my college graduation which happened to be on the same day), I had dropped most of the baby weight and my stomach went down but it wasn’t flat. Soon after, I started trying everything-diets, exercise, pure starvation-no matter what I did, I could not lose this pooch. I kept thinking I’d never get into a bikini again. My husband has never been anything less than amazing when it comes to my body and in fact, prefers the softer curvier me. I love everything else about my body so I never let it totally overtake me but the stomach was an issue. I’d still wear bikinis, but I’d just put a shirt over it or something to hide it.

I thought I wasn’t making a big deal of it and then my daughter (then 3) asked me one day why I was wearing a shirt in the pool. I said “it’s what mommy’s do” and she pointed out about 4 or 5 other women at the pool who didn’t have on shirts and said “they’re mommy’s too and they don’t have on shirts”. So I took off my shirt to appease her-she was delighted of course but my insides were screaming and I was mortified. But I felt I had to keep on a brave front because I definitely didn’t want her to pick up on it or worse-develop an unhealthy body image of herself. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen (the world would come to an abrupt halt maybe? Who knows) but absolutely NOTHING happened. And it was in that moment that I realized I was being ridiculous. Ok, the stomach’s not flat and there are plenty of stretch marks but you know what? I had a freaking 10 lb baby. She’s healthy, happy and the love of my life. I don’t diet, I don’t take pills, I do exercise but only because I sit down at work all day and it breaks up the monotony for me. My husband adores me and we have an absolutely wonderful family. I’m blessed and couldn’t ask for much more. And when I’m at the beach or pool-I’m in my bikini, running around playing with my happy and healthy daughter-jelly belly and all. It won’t consume you if you don’t let it.

I’m attaching pics

Pre-pregnancy (blurry but you get the idea), day of delivery, today and Big Tee & Little Tee

Update (Kayla)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Update 13 Comments

Previous entries here, here and here.

21 years old
1 pregnancy, 1 birth
son is 16 months old
current weight: 165lbs

I am now 16 months pp as of yesterday (March 22, 2010). I have GAINED weight in the past month or so and it is so frustrating. I have to say, alot of it is my own fault, which is what I hate the most. I went back on birth control about 6 months ago and that old mith that you gain a heap of weight on it, is coming true for me! My doctor said its not the actual drug itself, but the drug gives you the so called “munchies”, and oh boy do I ever get them! I almost thought I was pregnant for awhile again, from the weight gain and change in eating habbits. All I want is sugar and salt! I’ve been trying so so hard to eat healthy, but it seems impossible for me. I’ve never been a healthy eater, but it seems like this is the worst its ever been. Between juggling university, a 16 month old, a boyfriend, and a house it just doens’t seem like theres time! And the price of food these days has also gone through the roof, and I like I said am a full time student, so don’t have much income! Do any of you ladies have some good tips for healthy, cheapish eating? No matter how many fruits and veggies I attempy to buy get eaten by me – my son always comes first and is fed the healthiest. Which leaves me with boxed and canned foods alot of the time! Plus packing a lunch for being at Uni for a 10 hour day never happens, either. I know that I am probably to blame for the weight gain recently, and the fact I havent lost anything in a long, long time, but I just cant get motivated for the gym/eat healthy. I bought a month pass to the local gym for the month of March (its not March 23) and have gone 3 times! Im just to tired from school and taking care of my son, or homework, or housework and make excuses for myself, even though I have a personal trainer friend who I go with – still doesnt force me to go! I will take any ideas or tips at this point! Summer is almost here, and Im dying to be able to be more comfortable in a swim suit!
I couldn’t love a website more than I love this one! Its so inspiring to read all womens stories, and gives me hope that ONE day I’ll have the body that I want again. People always say its not about the number on the scale, becuase muscle weighs more than fat, but how you feel. Well I definatly dont LOVE my body. I’d like improvments. I’ve been with my current boyfriend, who isnt my sons father, who still loves my body for what it is, which I couldnt appriciate more considering he isnt even his father, and didnt par take in any of the pregnancy and body change. But getting change infront of him I still find very hard.

Pictures
16 months post partum front, sides, close up of strech marks ( why havent they faded?! any tips on that, as well?) and my stomache hidden under clothes

Worth Every Pound and Every Mark (Apryl)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 13 Comments

First of all, I would like to applaud this site. It is wonderful to see you celebrating the real beauty n a mother instead of criticizing the perceived flaws that so many of us think we have because we don’t match the air-brushed photos of the celebrity moms that have a personal trainer, personal chef, full time nanny, and entire crew of hair and makeup people to make them appear perfect. I also felt you ladies should see what a truly “plus-size” mom looks like, since most of the women calling themselves plus size are anything but.

Anyway…

I’ve never been happy with my body. I thought I was too skinny, because that is what my mother always told me.

When I got pregnant with my oldest, right around my 18th birthday, I was a petite and skinny little thing. 130 pounds, but very busty (D cup) already, so even at 5’3″ that was pretty thin. I had a fairly smooth and uncomplicated pregnancy although the father and I split up because he became abusive. I gained about 40 pounds. Then in January of 1999, I gave birth to a wonderful 7 lb 15.8 oz son. It was an easy birth, other than the fact that I hemorrhaged pretty severely.

I lost almost all of the weight pretty quickly. I actually liked the way I looked with that 5 extra pounds that didn’t want to go away. Then I got on the Depo-Provera birth control shot. My weight started to balloon almost immediately. I hated it. But it was convenient, so I stayed on it. My weight ended up around 185 pounds.

When my oldest was 2, I started dating a man who would become the father of my second child. He and my oldest bonded almost instantly. That was “Daddy” in my son’s eyes. So when we split up after a year and a half, he asked if he could stay involved (his biological father never was) so for the sake of my son, I said yes. About 2 weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant. Big surprise to say the least, as I was still on the Depo. We discussed things and realized we could never make things work as a couple, but for the sake of (both!) kids, we would try to be friendly. After another uncomplicated pregnancy, I gave birth to a beautiful 8 lb 12 oz boy. The only real trouble with that birth was that his head came out fine, then his shoulders got stuck. After a lot of straining, so much that I broke blood vessels all the way down into my chest, he was out.

Another year and a half passed. I dated some, but no one too seriously. Then one night when my ex had the boys, I went out dancing and met the man who would become my husband. We hit it off instantly. After almost a year together, we moved in together, and then a year after that, and St Patrick’s Day of 2006, we got married. He had 2 kids from his first marriage, an I had my 2, so we didn’t plan to have any more. Then in September of 2007, we found out we were pregnant. We were shocked but thrilled. Until a few days later, when I miscarried. This devastated me, and I realized I wanted another child. But over a year later, when my cycle still hadn’t returned to normal because of my miscarriage, my doctor put me on the pill too try to regulate my cycle. I was almost 29. Since I became a mother at such a young age, I told myself for years that 30 was my cut-off for having kids. So we didn’t expect any more. Then in the beginning of April of 2009, just before a trip my husband and I were planning to Las Vegas for a weekend, I started to realize I was feeling some pregnancy symptoms. I figured I would take a test just to be safe, so I would know if I could have some drinks on our mini-vacation.

IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!!! I couldn’t believe it. I was pregnant. I was also up to 290 pounds. However, I only gained 9 pounds with this pregnancy, and on December 2, 2009, I gave birth to a 8 lb 5.5 oz perfect baby boy. This delivery was a lot harder on me. Probably because I was so out of shape, but I couldn’t do it without drugs this time. After having contractions that were so painful that my whole body tremble like a seizure, plus some other unpleasantness, I finally agreed to an epidural. As soon as they placed it, my labor went by FAST. Within an hour of it being placed, after 3 pushes, my little man was out.

Within a month, I was down almost 30 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.

I breastfed each baby, but not for as long as I wanted, due to infections in my body causing the milk to dry up not long after each was born. After it happened this time, I gained back 15 of the 30 I lost. But I am working on it.

However, even if I never lose another pound, I know that every stretch mark, every line, every pound is worth it. Because I have the 3 most perfect little boys (in my opinion at least) on the planet because of what my body went through to give them to me, and THAT is what makes me truly beautiful.

Age now – will be 30 in less than a month (great timing for my cut-off point)
Children’s ages – 11, 7, and 16 weeks
Number of pregnancies – 4 (possibly 5, I may have had a very early term miscarriage when I was 16, but never went to the doctor to confirm)

The pictures I am attaching (other than the ones with my boys) were all taken with my phone tonight, not the best quality. One is of my breasts, one is my breasts and belly form the side, one is my breasts and belly while sitting, on is with my belly lifted out of the way to show the stretchies on the skin on the front of my crotch. The others are the wonderful causes of my marks of honor. One with me, and one without.

Updated here.

The aftermath of sexual violence + the beginning of healing, part 2 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Sexual Abuse/Violence, Submissions, Update 19 Comments

About a year ago, six weeks after giving birth to my son, I posted my first entry.

It’s been a tough and fun year and yet again my body has changed a lot. I am still breastfeeding and that has helped me lose all my pregnancy weight, without any effort on my part. That was quite unexpected – I thought I’d really have to struggle to reach my pre-pregnancy weight. My breasts are softer and saggier than before the pregnancy and one is quite a bit larger than the other because my son prefers to feed from that side. When I lean forward, my stomach looks like it belongs to an old woman, with all the wrinkles and the lose skin (that doesn’t show in the pictures here, because I am standing straight). After the birth I thought that the skin on my stomach would “recover”, but I have now realized that it won’t. I tell myself that that simply comes with having a baby and it doesn’t bother me too much, but I am embarrassed when my husband sees it.

Sometimes my negative thoughts take over. Sometimes I still see my body as belonging to the rapists. Sometimes, when my son presses his sweet face against mine, I wonder if he would still love me if he knew that I have been raped by four men. And I wonder if I am worthy to be his mother – can someone as damaged as me be the mother of someone as pure, innocent and wonderful as my little boy? I try to console myself with the knowledge that even though I am far from pure, at least my love for him is. And I remind myself of the great things my body was able to do during childbirth and I remind myself that my breasts have nurished and are still nurishing this healthy and happy boy and I am thankful for that. It helps, because the negative thoughts don’t take over anymore as they used to before we had our son. My hope is that one day I will feel completely worthy as a mother, a woman, a person.

The pictures show my body one year post-partum.

Uneven Breasts (Proud Mom)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Question, Submissions 30 Comments

My baby boy is 7 months tomorrow, and I’m a 23 year old all proud battle scared mom… I’ve been 1 of the lucky ladies to not develop strech marks, but a single one right on top of my belly button, the problem I’ve had is that at least 4 months ago my baby won’t feed from the left breast for longer than 2 minutes, he just likes the right one, causing the uneven growth of the breasts, as you can see on the pics…. I will like to know if anybody else has had the same problem and if anybody has a solution for that, or else if they will get better after I finish breast feeding, I plan to do so until at least 1 year…
I will post as well some more pics on my c section scar

~Age: 23
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregancy & birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months boy

Third Child, 3 Months PP (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Butt, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 11 Comments

I am 29 years old and had baby number three, three months ago. I gained 40-45 lbs. with each pregnancy, a lot of it going on my stomach. People always asked me if I was sure I wasn’t having twins. But I loved my big pregnant belly. I felt so full of life, even though it was exhausting and my back always hurt because it had to support my beautiful, full belly. I’m 5’7″ and started my motherhood journey weighing 135 lbs. and went to 180 lbs. I now weigh 150 lbs. With each birth, my skin has gotten more and more stretchy and wrinkly. I loved the way my boobs looked after the first two births–they filled up a lot. But this time, they are much more saggy (but they make plenty of milk!). And my right boob and aerola are bigger than the left. Sometimes I feel self-conscious, wondering if anyone else will notice that I am uneven. The skin on my legs, arms, and face have lost some elasticity, too. I guess that’s also a part of aging. With the stretchy skin, I thought that I had done something wrong or that something was wrong with my body. I’m glad to see it’s normal! I got red stretch marks on my butt and boobs during my first pregnancy, but they faded after a while and I don’t even notice them.

My body is beautiful to me and I now give loving thoughts to my imperfections because they are mine. I am feeling at peace with my body (especially after seeing this sight–it was so helpful in accepting myself). My opinion of myself is really the only one that matters, that is what affects how I feel. The days I have a harder time, that is when I know I need to do something nice for me. And I keep away from media that sends negative messages to me, especially when there is so much to enjoy in life. Thank you for this site!!!!!!!!!

Update (Jeanne)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

Original entry here.

Since my initial submission I feel like I’ve been able to focus on the important thing- finished college, got a job, spend my time with my daughter and have dated here and there. I’ve accepted my body and while I don’t love it- I like it for it’s flaws and have been able to exercise and drop 15 lbs. I am satisfied with things now…though my boobs have sagged a little. my daughter’s almost a year old..how time flies….oh and I wanted to say how much I appreciated everyone’s kind words. It certainly made me feel a bit better.

040610-jeanne-1

Updated here.

I Hate My Stomach (Emma)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 11 Comments

I never liked my body before I got pregnant at 18, but after going through a very rough pregnancy, I wish I had appreciated it more when I could. My pregnancy was unplanned, and I spent much of it wondering if I was making the right decision. It was also rough on me physically – I was out of shape to begin with and I put on a lot of weight very quickly. Because I have type 1 diabetes, my baby grew larger than average, and as a result I was measuring full-term at about 27 weeks. I literally could only walk for a few minutes at a time, and was in almost constant pain – so much so that when I went into spontaneous labor at nearly 33 weeks, all I felt was relief that I was done being pregnant. When Zoey was born she weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. Even though she looked like a full-term baby, internally she was still 7 weeks early. She stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks and came home with no complications, thank god.

Before pregnancy I weighed 160 lbs (at 5’2″ I was already overweight). When I delivered, I was 218. I managed to lose most of the weight fairly quickly, but my clothes still didn’t fit. Almost 7 months after giving birth, I’m down to 150 lbs (with a goal of 130), but I still can’t button most of my jeans. I still look like I’m pregnant. I keep my gut constantly sucked in. My love handles are humongous. Even my back is fatter than before. My breasts… oh, my breasts. Zoey struggled to nurse, so I’ve been pumping so I can still give her my milk. But now my once full, high breasts droooop halfway down my stomach. I don’t even care about the stretch marks. I just miss having smooth, unwrinkled skin. I miss having a decent shape.

My baby girl will be 7 months old in a few weeks, and I’m still in awe of her. I can’t believe how amazing and perfect she is. But I wish I could love myself, too.

Pic 1 is me at 27 weeks
Pic 2 is me about 1 month postpartum
Pic 3 is me 6.5 months postpartum
Pic 4 is me 6.5 months postpartum
Pic 5 is Zoey, the day she was born
Pic 6 is Zoey today

~Age: 19
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months

Brave enough (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions 18 Comments

I have a secret……I am brave enough to strut for my husband, brave enough to let him touch any place on my body, brave enough to call myself sexy and actually KNOW that I am. I am brave enough to not second guess my husband when he says I am the most beautiful, I am brave enough to be an amazing mother to all of my children, to let them know I love my life, my body and the gifts that God has given me. I am brave enough be confident, to know that I “still got it”, brave enough to thank God for the FLAWLESS way my body preformed a miracle perfectly, 5 times!

Yet I still am not brave enough to share that secret with the world. I am not brave enough to show anyone else this stretched and scarred belly. Because I am confident now, I am too afraid that the words, thoughts and “sympathetic looks” that they give me for having such a road map of a belly will somehow strip that confidence from me. I am afraid I will feel shame and embarrassment for the body which has been so good to me and my family. I am afraid I will feel inadequate to the person that states that they had their children and still have a stomach that is smooth, not etched with stretch marks and skin.
Maybe someday I will be brave enough to show to the world what the shape of THIS real mother looks like? Or maybe not? Either way, in my home, my husband and children at least have the example of having a wonderfully confident and brave example of a mother who does not call herself “ugly “or “mis-shapen” but lets her family she her “scars” in all their glory and does not apologize for them.

I will admit, I have thought of “fixing” the area after I am through with this pregnancy. If for nothing else, to feel like I am not leading a double life. So that the confidence I feel at home extends to while I am in the eye of others. Is that “selling out”? I don’t think so. I think it would be my choice and whether I decide to do it or not I am still beautiful and strong and my kids know that!