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I Hate My Stomach (Emma)

I never liked my body before I got pregnant at 18, but after going through a very rough pregnancy, I wish I had appreciated it more when I could. My pregnancy was unplanned, and I spent much of it wondering if I was making the right decision. It was also rough on me physically – I was out of shape to begin with and I put on a lot of weight very quickly. Because I have type 1 diabetes, my baby grew larger than average, and as a result I was measuring full-term at about 27 weeks. I literally could only walk for a few minutes at a time, and was in almost constant pain – so much so that when I went into spontaneous labor at nearly 33 weeks, all I felt was relief that I was done being pregnant. When Zoey was born she weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. Even though she looked like a full-term baby, internally she was still 7 weeks early. She stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks and came home with no complications, thank god.

Before pregnancy I weighed 160 lbs (at 5’2″ I was already overweight). When I delivered, I was 218. I managed to lose most of the weight fairly quickly, but my clothes still didn’t fit. Almost 7 months after giving birth, I’m down to 150 lbs (with a goal of 130), but I still can’t button most of my jeans. I still look like I’m pregnant. I keep my gut constantly sucked in. My love handles are humongous. Even my back is fatter than before. My breasts… oh, my breasts. Zoey struggled to nurse, so I’ve been pumping so I can still give her my milk. But now my once full, high breasts droooop halfway down my stomach. I don’t even care about the stretch marks. I just miss having smooth, unwrinkled skin. I miss having a decent shape.

My baby girl will be 7 months old in a few weeks, and I’m still in awe of her. I can’t believe how amazing and perfect she is. But I wish I could love myself, too.

Pic 1 is me at 27 weeks
Pic 2 is me about 1 month postpartum
Pic 3 is me 6.5 months postpartum
Pic 4 is me 6.5 months postpartum
Pic 5 is Zoey, the day she was born
Pic 6 is Zoey today

~Age: 19
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 7 months

in Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, NICU, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom
11 comments… add one
  • Ranna Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 10:11 am

    I think you look really good! You have barely any stretch marks, and you’re only 7 months PP, and I know my stomach went down a lot after 6-7 months PP. If you have separation of your muscles, there’s exercises that you can do to help bring them together. I’ve been trying it and it really works.

  • Kair'e Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 11:01 am

    Wow i cant believe how similar your story is to mine! Your my TWIN i swear cuz i looked at your pictures thinking that was pictures of me haha. The only differance is my boobs are MORE saggy than yours.
    I am also 19. I have two boys. A 4 yr old and a 7 month old. I was 15 the first time i got pregnant. I weighed 180 and at the end of my pregnancy i was a whole 240. I was HUGE! And im only 5′ exact. Im down to 145 now but my goal is bout 115 cuz i have such a small frame.
    Your Daughter is So SO adorable.
    Good luck with reaching your goal weight :)
    Hey if you would like to swap stories and pictures and maybe help each other reach our goals you can email me. My name is Kair’e and my email is adrien41006@yahoo.com I have a myspace and facebook if you’d like to keep in touch i will give those links thru email all righty :)
    Take Care and God Bless

  • Zoe Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 1:12 pm

    Emma, please dont be hard on yourself. Your body has gone through a hard transition, and the result is a gorgeous baby girl.

    I went through something similar to yourself, I hope one day i will be brave enough to put my birth story & pictures on here.

    Your body looks far better than mine honey x

  • Jaya Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 5:09 pm

    Your shape looks exactly the same as mine. I have no wise words, except honouring you body for what it did and is still doing. nutured a baby and continues to supply her with milk. much love to you.

  • Krystel Tuesday, April 6, 2010, 11:31 pm

    Hun there is nothing wrong with the way you look! I looked like that after my first was born.I wish I still looked like that after my second! Im aiming for a body like yours! I think you have a very womanly, mature body shape. And, what stretch marks???

  • Meghan Wednesday, April 7, 2010, 9:55 am

    Emma, I hate my stomach too. It upsets me beyond belief. But compared to your belly, mine looks a million times worse! I have horrible stretchmarks all over my stomach, hips, and butt. I’ve had three csections and am 31. I have one csection scar that’s so bad it makes my belly look like one side of it hangs lower than the other!! You look so great now and the fact that you are so young!! you have all the time in the world- just eat healthy- it’s true- abs are made in the kitchen- and use cocoa butter lotion and firming lotion and you’ll get that belly like you want it!!! i’d trade with you in a heart beat! cheer up!!! :)

  • Lollie Tuesday, April 20, 2010, 8:27 am

    I totally understand. After 2 kids my belly looks like a bulldog’s face – saggy and wrinkled. I know that at just 13 months since my last baby, there may still be some improvement, but I’m not going to hold my breath. :) I know that if I lose the 40 lbs that I want to, my belly will be smaller (right now I could pass as 5-6 months pregnant still…). But I’m also afraid that the saggy wrinkles will be even worse without the large pad of fat that currently resides on my belly! Being a mother changes every aspect of our lives, not just our appearance. Children are precious and wonderful in every way, and we can credit our battle-scarred bodies with facilitating that new life. Mothers are heroes, and we should not let anyone make us feel otherwise. Hang in there! You are beautiful!

  • Lindsey Wednesday, April 21, 2010, 12:56 pm

    Oh girl, I have diabetes type 1 as well. It’s a classic body symptom of a diabetic to have a more fatty belly. But, you look great! We actually have a VERY smiliar body type. I am 5’5” right now and 200 pounds even desperately trying to lose the weight from my second pregnancy (I gained a whopping 70 pounds!! AND I’m on the insulin pump) I was as big as a house by the end and almost everyone I encountered asked if I was pregnant with twins – no lie, my belly was ginormous. I could hardly even roll over in bed in my last months of pregnancy. My son was born weighing 9lbs 10ounces and I had polyhydramnios during pregnancy as well.
    I’d really love to talk with you more – it sounds like we have a lot in common. My email is LindseyHocker@ymail.com if you are interested!

  • valerie Thursday, October 14, 2010, 10:54 pm

    I hate my belly to!! I have a small amount of wrinkling above my belly button that I really hate to look at. I was scheduled for a mini tuck in one week but cancelled it today. I’m really scared to go under the knife because I have a bleeding disorder. Don’t want to risk it.I wish I knew of an alternative. I’m very depressed because I feel I have no choice but to live with this wrinkled belly. I have a headache and am tired of crying about it.

  • Marietta Monday, September 19, 2011, 7:51 pm

    I had my first baby when I was 19, so I understand! I just want to say don’t be so hard on yourself! Your beautiful!

  • liz Saturday, April 14, 2012, 3:06 pm

    :)it totally understand u im.in the same situation!ur body and mine are extacly the same!!i cant believe i though i was the only one!!but sometimes.im really depressed about it other times in just happy cuz i know i got inside beauty and my body change cuz of baby and im proud!;)

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