Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Back again! With another boy! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Complications During or After Birth, Complications in Pregnancy, NICU, Placenta Previa, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 1 Comment

Age: 26
3 months post partum

First post here, second post here.

This is my 3rd time submitting my story, and a lot has changed in the last 5.5 years!

I had my first son at 19 (now 7) a natural hospital birth, no complications. He was 6lbs 14oz and i breast fed him for 9 months.

I got pregnant with my second son when my oldest was only 10 months old, i was 21 when i gave birth to him. Another all natural hospital birth, he was 7lbs 14oz and i breast fed him for 1 year, he is now 5.

My husband and i were done having children, or so we thought. July 31st 2016, i found out we were expecting once more. We were excited and scared, we have our hands full with our 7 and 5 year old boys. But we welcomed the challenge! Instantly this pregnancy was different, i was sick and crampy, so i had an ultrasound done at 7 weeks. The baby had implanted to low and had an abnormal gestational sac, we were given a 50/50 chance of it surviving. So again at 9 weeks we went back, and to our amazement the sac was normal and the baby was growing upward! So i was cleared to have my dream delivery, at a birthing center!

Everything went smoothly the next few months, i was sick all of the time, but hey, that can happen when you’re pregnant! Then came our 22 week anatomy scan. It was our 3rd son! He looked great, measured perfect, but i had partial placenta previa, which meant my placenta had grown in the lower part of my uterus and was touching my cervix. The dr. Said it was such a mild case he was not concerned, and was certain it would migrate upward as my uterus grew.

Again smooth sailing until my follow up 28 week ultrasound. My partial placenta previa was now a complete placenta previa and i could no longer have a vaginal delivery. I was put on bed rest and told to look forward to having a csection at 37 weeks. So my placenta went from touching my cervix to completely covering it, i was absolutely devastated!

Before i had time to even find a regular ob (5 days later), because i could no longer go to the birthing center, i woke up to bleeding and off to the er we went. They were able to stop the bleeding and give my 2 rounds of steroids for the baby. After a 2 day stay in the hospital we went home on even stricter bedrest.

Then at 30 weeks i was woken up to the sensation of my water breaking, only to discover it was not water at all, it was blood, and i was bleeding out right there in my bed. We drove 10 min to our closest er, where i was airlifted to a hospital with a level 3 nicu. As if i wasn’t scared enough They lost the babies heartbeat in the helicopter and i feared the worst. Once we landed they were able to find his heart beat, faint, but there.

They rushed me up to L&D to discover not only was i loosing a massive amount of blood and clots, i was contracting every 3 minutes. So they made the decision to do an emergency csection.

My little boy was born at 30 weeks weighing 3lbs 7oz and 16.5 ” long, he is our little fighter!

He spent 8 long heart breaking weeks in the nicu. Talk about a Rollercoaster, he was up and Down for the first few weeks.

We are now 3 months post partum, and i am so blessed he and I both lived, the drs and nurses told us we were very close to not making it.

So now i carry a scar as a reminder of what we went through. I’m not happy with my stomach, but I’m trying very hard to take it easy on myself. I have good and bad days, i didn’t realize how difficult the recovery from a csection would be.

God has blessed me with 3 Amazing little boys, so i will try and carry this body with pride!

1st picture: 29 weeks prego (the last picture i was able to get pregnant)

2nd and 3rd picture: 3 days post partum

Pictures 4-7: now, 3 months post partum, including my scar

My Husband Surprised Me! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Submissions 0 Comment

I’m 21 and a mother of two handsome boys. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 3. I’m very self conscious and it got worse after I had our first son at 17. He came to my job (anniversary day) and brought me home early. We haven’t had sex in 8 months because I’m afraid he doesn’t like how I look. When we got home and he opened the door I saw roses leading to the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.

I was shocked but my heart skipped a beat when I saw the condoms on the night stand. He told me to go in the bathroom and change into the outfit he had left for me and I did. I hurried and wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door. He started to kiss me and squeezing my butt. In my head I began to feel scared because he was about to unhook the back of my outfit. He’s seen my breasts but not the rest of my body.

He pulled it down to my v-line and began at kiss and lick each mark. I had to lay up and look at him. I had no idea guys his age accepted women like me. That taught me to love myself and every chance he gets he tries to play around with them. Ladies love yourself because if you don’t, no one else will.

A Child’s Thoughts on Stretch Marks (Jenny)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 1 Comment

A story I thought you’d like and am happy for you to share if you like… I have a 3 week old… and a 4yo and a 7yo… I got stretch marks in my second pregnancy. I hated them…. mostly because I developed the truly evil rash that is PUPPS and the itchiness was horrendous. Anyway, they faded and I learned to live with them. Pregnant again 3.5 years later, my third baby resulted in more stretch marks in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy… something I don’t understand as he was just over a pound LIGHTER than my previous mighty girl baby… anyway, these ones are worse! I haven’t been hiding them, but nor have I displayed them…

Tonight my 7yo lay in bed next to me reading as I breastfed his baby brother. He looked over and say, “wow mum you have a totally cool pattern on your tummy… did baby M make that ?”

I got to answer proudly, “yup!”

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, you perfect supermoms, you!

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, My Own Ramblings, News, Redefining Supermom 0 Comment

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A couple of weeks ago, SOAM had our #redefiningsupermom gathering here in San Diego. My friend Heidi came and took some awesome photos of us, showing our bellies, wearing our capes, being just generally super. (By, the way, PLEASE take a look at Heidi’s incredible Homeless Humans of San Diego Facebook page, she does a lot of good work helping people down here. If you feel so inclined, as a thank you for having her help by shooting SOAM’s event for FREE, buy her book. Half the sales go to supporting the people she works with. And if you are local, maybe book her for your own family photos.)

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I love events like this, where we all get together and just allow ourselves to be imperfect. We find empowerment in our vulnerability together, in our community together. We all showed off our bellies, none of which are perfect (according to society’s too-narrow standards), but we were together. And here’s the thing: these bellies have stories to tell. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and writing (which I’ll share soon) about how the body tells us its story by inscribing it onto our skin. How beautiful is that? Your body is poetry, it is a piece of art. No matter what it looks like, and whether it fits society’s standards of beauty or not, it is your poem, your story. It’s perfect just as it is.

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Remember today that a real supermom is one who has had a homebirth or a planned cesarean, she’s one who homeschools or doesn’t, she’s one who is thin or curvy or none of those things, she’s one who breastfed or didn’t, she’s one who gave birth or adopted. Today we are #redefiningsupermom and recognizing that the only requirement to be a supermom is to love your kids.

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Happy Mother’s Day, mamas!

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The Liberation Continues (Amy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 1 Comment

Original post here.

A few years ago, in 2009, I submitted a picture and piece about the liberation of my breasts. As a mom of three at the time I was trying hard to liberate myself from body hatred, while learning to love my changed body.

Now, two more kids later, for a total of five kids breastfed for 3+ years each, my breasts are still the love vessels they always have been. Whether my nipples are laying down looking tired or up and ready for the cold (or something else), they’ve supplied sustenance for life and they continue to hold the potential for pleasure. Although they look way different than before kids, they’re still part of me and my almost forty one year old sensual body.

Reclaiming my body after directly creating, birthing and nurturing five lives with it for fifteen years plus is an interesting process and I’m not always sure what to expect along the way. During one birth I injured my pelvic muscles, resulting in the need for physical therapy to repair and strengthen my sacred pelvic bowl. My belly is now squishy and soft, as I continue to gradually support and strengthen the muscle underneath. My skin is stretched and wrinkles when I pull in my tummy. My breast’s perky days are done, instead traded in for breasts which are soft and stretched, shifting into little puddles on my chest when I lay down. All of this fluctuates depending on the position of my body, levels of activity, rest, nutritional intake and hydration.

Overall, my body has changed and grown, changed some more and now that I’m complete with my child bearing I’m very grateful for all it has provided and continues to provide for me and my family. My body is my tree of life and more than anything, love is what it needs, and so love is what I am learning to give it – soft squishy breasts, stretch marked belly and all.

Shape of a Mother of 6 (Emily)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 1 Comment

Age: 31

I had my first son at 19 years old. I was very tiny only weighing 95 lbs before him and 145 when I had him!! I got huge in my belly!! I lived with my parents and my then boyfriend moved in. I then got married to my bf and we had a baby about every year to two year! I wanted it that way and I wanted to be a young Mom! I was adopted so I always feared maybe I wouldn’t be able to have kids either. That wasn’t the case obviously! I decided to get my tubes tied after my last #6. All 6 kids were 8 pounds and something ounces. My stomach stretched over and over and didn’t get much rest in between! I was either nursing and pregnant for 10 years straight!! My youngest is a little handful and we actually had my husbands cousins babies for a while so I’m glad I didn’t have anymore of my own!
After my 6th baby I noticed I had a lot of skin and also fat to lose. I started lifting weights and doing cardio when she was almost a year old. She’s now 2 1/2 and I still am improving my body and self. Working out has helped me with energy, self esteem, and is my me time. I know many women may think They can’t go to the gym but anyone can! Before children I was literally 95 pounds! After children I was around 125 but lots and lots of fluffiness and cellulite! I still have cellulite as you see in my recent pic but it’s helping! I had zero muscles especially in my stomach And had diastasis recti and still do actually!!! Now I’m not sure how much I weigh because I’m not worrried about weight! When I do weigh myself at the ymca because I don’t own a scales I’m anywhere from 132-138 I fluctuate a lot!

Keeping up with kids is hard and being out of shape can make it even harder! Doing something for yourself is not only good for you but good for your kids too!! Showing your children an active healthy lifestyle will help them stay in shape and want to be healthy too! We do have pizza and McDonald’s on occasion and my kids do love their Xbox! But, I feel like as long as we stay busy and I buy a lot of fruit and vegetables that they will have a good balance.

This isn’t meant to shame out of shape moms but hopefully inspire you! There are so many people who are stronger than me but I try my hardest, I swear, I pant, and I feel like I can keep up with my 6 kids, most of the time unless they all going in different directions….

SOAM NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Bonnie (SOAM) News 0 Comment

gofundme

SOAM GoFundMe Legal Fund, Click Here

There is a page on Facebook selling shape wear under the name “The Shape of a Mother” (please do not look it up, I don’t want it to get more attention than it already has). I am seeking legal help to retain the integrity of the SOAM name. If you can contribute to the legal fund, that would be so helpful – we are already almost halfway there! If you can’t send money, please share the link. It’s gotten 120 shares on Facebook since Wednesday and I’d love to double that by next Wednesday!

Thank you so much for all your support through the years!

What a difference a few years can make (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Breasts, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 3 Comments

Previous post here.

Age: 27

Wow. Just wow.
I was scrolling through my bookmarks and stumbled across a post I made on this site that I haven’t thought about for years – titled ‘I can’t stand to look in the mirror.’ (July 2010)
The title alone was like a slap in the face.
I actually cannot believe that the sad, lonely person who wrote that 8 years ago was ME.

How much has changed in those few short years!?

My 18 month old and newborn are now 8 and 6, I have kicked my lousy husband to the curb and am no longer suffering from depression. I got a great new job, moved cities – and am seizing LIFE at every opportunity.

Am I now 100% happy with my body? Of course not. I still dislike my hips, I still have wobbly bits – but the difference is now my focus is on fitness, and trying to better myself rather than on ‘getting my pre baby body back.’ I train about 5 times a week and eat clean (well most of the time!)

I am writing this post today, to tell every one of you GORGEOUS mumma’s out there that you CAN do it. Whatever your goal is!

Want to wear a bikini this summer? Buy one, get a spray tan and ROCK it! Want to be able to run 5k? Start with daily walks and then increase over time.

Happiness is a choice, and our children DESERVE to see their mums happy and confident!
If you are feeling like I was feeling 7 years ago, remember – things can only go UP from this point.

First photo is from my previous post – 3 months pp. unhappy, hating my body. Other 2 pics are today, much more comfortable with myself both physically and mentally.