A couple of weeks ago, SOAM had our #redefiningsupermom gathering here in San Diego. My friend Heidi came and took some awesome photos of us, showing our bellies, wearing our capes, being just generally super. (By, the way, PLEASE take a look at Heidi’s incredible Homeless Humans of San Diego Facebook page, she does a lot of good work helping people down here. If you feel so inclined, as a thank you for having her help by shooting SOAM’s event for FREE, buy her book. Half the sales go to supporting the people she works with. And if you are local, maybe book her for your own family photos.)
I love events like this, where we all get together and just allow ourselves to be imperfect. We find empowerment in our vulnerability together, in our community together. We all showed off our bellies, none of which are perfect (according to society’s too-narrow standards), but we were together. And here’s the thing: these bellies have stories to tell. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and writing (which I’ll share soon) about how the body tells us its story by inscribing it onto our skin. How beautiful is that? Your body is poetry, it is a piece of art. No matter what it looks like, and whether it fits society’s standards of beauty or not, it is your poem, your story. It’s perfect just as it is.
Remember today that a real supermom is one who has had a homebirth or a planned cesarean, she’s one who homeschools or doesn’t, she’s one who is thin or curvy or none of those things, she’s one who breastfed or didn’t, she’s one who gave birth or adopted. Today we are #redefiningsupermom and recognizing that the only requirement to be a supermom is to love your kids.
Happy Mother’s Day, mamas!
San Diego mamas! We’re gathering on April 30th in person (location TBA) to share community, discussion, and to take a group photo of us, bellies bared, capes donned. These types of gatherings are deeply healing and empowering. I hope to see you there! More info at our Facebook page or at the #redefiningsupermom link above.
Moms have so much pressure on them to be perfect all the time and I’m so done with that. I’m done trying to meet these unspoken standards. I’m done trying to fight the double standards. I’m just done. I’m taking back imperfect. Imperfect bodies, imperfect parenting, imperfect lives. That’s what we need to strive for. That’s what we demand that society accepts. The current idea of a “supermom” is no longer adequate. I propose that we redefine it to embrace imperfections in every area of our lives.
We seem to have created this idea that we need to be the perfect mom by having all-natural births, breastfeeding 100%, feeding only organic homemade baby food, being 100% patient 100% of the time, and planning elaborate theme birthday parties and doing them all ourselves. But that’s not enough- we also have to be professionals and thin and smooth and young forever and always 100% put together. We have to be assertive but not so much so that we’re bitchy. We have to be professionals but not so much so that we aren’t “good” mothers but we also have to be good mothers but not so much so that we aren’t professionals. We can’t win.
I’m going to be totally honest here. Taking this picture was difficult. Posting it was difficult. I am not feeling my cutest lately. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT, isn’t it? I am fine just as I am. I am imperfect and that is beautiful. I am REAL and that is beautiful. I am #redefiningsupermom Besides, the entire point of SOAM is that we come together in our insecurities to see how normal we really are. So here I am, perfectly imperfect. Will you stand with me?
Show me your imperfect. Your imperfect body, your imperfect house, your imperfect kids, or parenting, or work. Throw on a cape, or a blanket, or a towel (or skip the cape altogether). Just snap a pic of a messy kitchen, or bedhead, or a belly full of stretch marks. It’s all perfectly imperfect! Share it on social media with the tag #redefiningsupermom and together let’s, well, let’s redefine “supermom”.
In a few weeks, I’ll be having a gathering in San Diego where we’ll take a big group photo of our super selves. More to come on that soon, stay tuned! Join our mailing list (link above) to receive updates in your inbox.
You can read more at the link above or by clicking here.