Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

From Making Money with my Body to Making Babies (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Birth, Homebirth, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 13 Comments

After meeting the man of my dreams and spending two years dancing and modelling at 173cm and 57kg and 10d Bra size, I fell pregnant with my first son.
I quit smoking, Nightshift, Dancing, Vegetarianism and took up a healthy diet.
10 months later i weighed 85kg- I had put on 28kg.
My bra size went up to a 16EE.
After the gentle birth of my 9pd Son, I lost all the weight and was back modelling 7 months later.
My breasts were smaller and saggier, but If I dressed accordingly- I looked firm and fit.
I continued to dance and model and kept my family on a good wage and paid off my home.
We had a good quality of life and I spent a great deal of quality time with my son.
I conceived again- My second son.
This time I was 75kg pre-pregnancy weight.
At 20 weeks I quit dancing and modelling and took up office work for my partner.
Sitting on my bum in front of the Computer, Drinking Hot-Chocolate in Winter took me up to 95kg.

For a girl who relied on her looks and body to look after her family- This was disasterous.
I felt like I had let myself down, and that I had taken my income stream away.
I apologised to people why I was so fat and had a terrible time finding nice clothes that fitted well.
My 10pd Son was born unnassisted in the most amazing home water birth and His presence has been an absolute gift.
I would despair at my figure- Knowing that my partner was attracted to a thin-lean look and small breasts.
He Never mentioned anything, but I knew he was not attracted to me- As loving as he Is.
This broke my heart. I began to get jealous of Younger Girls with thin thighs hips and Arms.

At least twice a week, I would be holding my newborn and peole would ask me when the next baby was due…
I commented- “this is what you really look like after a baby for a little while…”

I would see my reflecting in the mirror and get a shock and then cringe.. I realised how judgemental of myself I had become.

I stopped going to social functions because I felt “too fat”..

I lost only 5kg after baby was born.

At 85kg and 4 months post-partum I conceived again!
I was breastfeeding and still in my maternity pants! I surrendered and decided to change my attitude and lifestyle.
I accepted my roundness and simply decided to be very healthy and exercise frequently enough to get me in good habits so I could get fit again after the birth of baby number three.

I am now 7 months pregnant and have put on 3kg with this pregnancy!
I am still quite heavy- But I am proud that I have limited my weight gain to a healthy level.

My Two sons are the Sunshine of my Life and their happy smiling faces are all I need to feel blissfully contented.

I am enjoying my new exercise routine and am quite proud that at 30 years old I have started to take responsibility to my health..

I will never be the same again- But this is the transition from maiden to mother….I am celebrating my fertility and enjoying it while I am ripe and luscious…I know that when I am older I will look back and remember these as the best years of my life- So I am making an effort to surrender and love myself for me- not for what I look like to others…Peace.








After My First Pregnancy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Hips, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

The 20th of March 2008 i became the mother of a beautiful son. I had an emergency cesarean. When i came home and took a look in the mirror i was shocked.. I hoped it would go away.. But it didn’t change much.. Now 8 months later I’m trying to accept the new me. It’s weird, when i look in the mirror.. One day i couldn’t care less and the other day i don’t recognize that belly as my own.




10 Days Postpartum with Twins (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Twins 16 Comments

I’m 23 and have been married 2 and a half years. Pre-pregnancy I was 5’1 and 115 lbs. I went up to 165 the day I had my twins boys by c-section. I was never happy with my body before pregnancy my lowest weight was 78 lbs. With some help from my hubby over a year I got up to a healthy weight but not a healthy attitude. So of course I was miserable throughout my pregnancy. Now 10 days after I gave birth to my beautiful baby boys I couldn’t be happier with how I look. I haven’t weighed myself yet as I’m still a bit swollen but I really could care less. I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much time being unhappy with myself while I was pregnant. I had the perfect pregnancy health wise. Never went on bedrest and was active up until the day I delivered. I hope that this will give hope to others worried about how the will look after pregnancy.






First Pregnancy Fears Shared (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 4 Comments

I am 16 weeks pregnant and already have had major changes occur physically. My breasts have grown an entire cup size and I was already a 36D to begin with. They are uncomfortably large and I assume will only get bigger. I plan on breastfeeding (God willing) so I can only imagine what these puppies will look like this time next year! I also got horrible stretch marks when I went through puberty so my hopes arent high on not getting them through this. I love this little one with all my heart. I am still a woman, however, and cant help but stress over my appearance. I came across this website and truly feel blessed to have done so. What a WONDERFUL place this is. To be able to unabashdley share our thoughts, feelings, even PICTURES of and about our bodies before and during the awesome miracle of motherhood is so very empowering. Yes, our bodies are beautiful. Yes, they are amazing in EVERY sense of the word. No, I will not be ashamed of the changes in my body but rather, I will embrace this new ‘me’. Im going to be a mommy with one heluva mommy body. Thank you all ladies for your encouragment and bravery. In a few more months you will all be seeing a few candid shots of yours truly…..and the little bundle of joy I call my heart…..Theres no question in my mind, now, that it will be worth it. Thank you again ladies. Im so lucky to have found this site!!

Lost and Found Pregnancy, 7 Weeks Postpartum (Charity)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

Meant To Be: My Pregnancy Story

I’m a 22 year old single mom and I can’t tell you how excited I am! This baby was DEFINITELY unexpected. I knew I was pregnant from day 1, but didn’t find out for sure until the end of January. My boyfriend and I were on a technical ‘break’ at the time, and after I contacted him, we decided that keeping this baby wouldn’t be a good idea. The day of my appointment to end it, I started spotting. I spotted and cramped for 3 days, finally passing a large clot on Valentines Day. A week later I saw my ob/gyn and he felt me up and said that my uterus was small, my cervix closed, and yes, I had probaby passed it.

I was sad, but also sort of relieved that I wouldn’t have to be the one responsible for ending it. I went on birth control and an antidepressant. Two weeks later, my blood pregnancy test came back positive, but my doctor assured me it was probably still reading positive because my hormones were still high when they took my blood.

28 days after beginning my birth control, I didn’t get a period. I waited a week for it… nothing. It took some balls but I finally got a pregnancy test…. positive. I took another one. Positive. I called my doctor, who still stubbornly insisted I had probably had an ‘incomplete miscarriage’. So I scheduled an ultrasound.

I’ll never forget the moment they put the scanner thing on my tummy. Instead of bits and pieces of an incomplete miscarriage… there was a teeny tiny miniature person in there, waving at me frantically. I screamed and started crying. The doctor said I was measuring 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

I had the world’s best labor/delivery. I was induced at 39 weeks because of the size of my baby and because his daddy was going out of town the next day. I was in labor for about 7 1/2 hours and pushed through 5 contractions for 12 minutes. Thank god for modern medicine, because I had the epidural and because the baby came so fast, I tore pretty badly.

My boyfriend and I remained close friends through my pregnancy, and once we went through labor together, it pretty much went without saying that we were back together.

I’m 6ft tall (i was a teenage runway model who quit because I was sick of the eating disorders I had to resort to in order to stay under 120lbs) and though I lost 30lbs in the first 4 weeks pp, I am now 7 weeks pp and stuck at 170. My goal is 145 by 6 months pp.

I’m walking 1.5 miles a day and just started doing a 20 minute Pilate dvd, which I’m trying to do on a daily basis as well. I’m a nursing mother, so I can’t cut back on calories too much, but I find just by tracking what I eat, I am eating much less than I was before.

I love being a mommy, and I am proud of my stretch marks. Once I lose this baby weight I’ll be as proud of my body as I was when I was a teenager… except now I’ll be healthy.









I Am Beautiful (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

These photos were taken a couple of weeks before my daughter turned two. Actually, as I write this, she will be two years old in less than 24 hours. She is a total blessing, so bright and inquisitive. And I see that being a mother to a little girl who will someday be a woman bears its own weight. The way I see my body will effect how she sees herself. In realizing that, I will try to say I am beautiful and tell her that she is, too.

I posted here before, but now I can’t find any of my posts. I am still breastfeeding and from the way it looks, I think we’ll be going strong for months to come, despite being down to 1-2 sessions a day. I enjoy the closeness and she does, too, obviously. Sometimes she’ll just crawl in my arms and assume the nursing position just to be held close. I am so blessed. So incredibly blessed! And my husband has always been so supportive of breastfeeding. He helped me from day one and he still supports me 110% with extended nursing. I am blown away, amazed, and so, so, thankful.

As far as my body type goes, I carry my weight in my lower body. What you don’t see in these photographs are stretchmarked, cellulite pocked buttocks and thick thighs. But I don’t care. I think I have a lovely figure. Before motherhood, I did not have breasts or hips. I was commonly mistaken for a twelve year old. Today I’m mistaken mostly for a sixteen year old. I think that’s a step up lol. After having my daughter, I threw out all of my size A bras, certain I would follow the path of my sisters and retain my voluptuous breasts, but alas they quickly deflated and now I’ve had to go out and repurchase 34A bras. That’s a warning to everyone out there. I also threw away several size small shirts… that I really liked and now REALLY miss. I wear size 5 jeans. I’m 24 years old, around 5 foot 1 and 3/4, and 125 pounds. I definitely owe any and all weight loss to breastfeeding. I weighed 160 the day my daughter was born, 138 two weeks later, 128 when she was 6 months old. And I’ve yet to buy jogging shoes. That would be a “Do as I say, but not as I do” situation. Do exercise. It’s good for you. I’m just terribly lazy.

Attached are photos of me two weeks ago, and a collage of my pregnancy belly photos.



Updated here.

Learning to Love My Body After 5 C-Sections, Pregnant With #6 – Hopeful VBAC (Stacy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update, VBAC 65 Comments

With my first daughter, conceived at 17, I was not fuller aware of the changes that would take place. I was young, ignorant to nutrition and was raised with horrible eating and activity habits. I gained almost 80 pounds and ended my long labor in a csection. My first daughter is an absolute joy, and in many ways saved my life for sure destruction. I met my husband when she was 3. We conceived about 9 months later. We have created 5 more children together (on in my belly currently), in the past 6 years. My body has undergone quite the toll. Almost continual pregnancies and breastfeeding. I am in awe of what my body is able to handle… I am sure that this most soon come to an end, mostly because I have had 5 csections. I am attempting a VBAC with this pregnancy, and if it goes well, as I have much faith and hope it will, then maybe I will be up for more children, but otherwise I think my body ready to move on to the next stage (whatever that is :) These are some pictures I took. I am currently about 18 weeks pregnant with my 6th and learning a little more each day,each pregnancy, to love and accept my body just the way it is.



Updated here, here and here.

12 Weeks After pregnancy #2 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Postpartum, Preemie, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 8 Comments

here is me 12 weeks after my second delivery. i was pregnant with boy/girl twins the first time and sadly we lost our beautiful baby girl 3 weeks after they were born (prematurely). i got pregnant again about 6 weeks after we brought our son home from the hospital. 12 weeks ago i gave birth to a beautiful,healthy full term baby girl. my body isn’t what it was (i was 115 lbs when i started and now i am down to 135) but who cares?! a healthy baby is all that matters…i learned that the hard way…




20 Year Old Mommy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Hips, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 9 Comments

I am a 20 y/o SAHM of 2 boys and an air force wife. I got pregnant when my husband (boyfriend at the time obviously) were both 16. Our son was born 10/27/05 when we were 17. We got married in June 2007 and started TTC baby #2 in November. After 1 month of TTC, we got a BFP in December. We welcomed our second son into the world on 8/8/08. The first picture is my 12 hour PP picture. The next is 2 weeks PP. The last ones are 3 months PP.








My Body 8 Months PP, Second Child (K)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Hips, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

I have always been a healthy weight but still had to watch what I ate.I was pretty naive and assumed that my body would go back to normal straight after birth. I quit smoking as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my son (my first pregnancy)and the weight just piled on. I gained 20kg by the time I gave birth to him at 41 weeks, I was also covered in stretch marks After having him I managed to get back to my pre pregnancy weight by 6 months post partum but I still had the jelly belly. When he was 11 months old I fell pregnant again. This time I was determined to eat healthily and avoid too much weight gain. I put on 8kg with this pregnancy and had lost all that by 6 weeks pp. Today 8 months later I am actually 7kg lighter than what I was prior to falling pregnant with my first, but I am in no way happy with my body I look at my belly now and I am disgusted. It looks like elephant skin. I am no longer interested in being intimate with my husband because I feel so unattractive. He thinks I am beautiful of course and tells me everyday but I can’t help comparing myself to others who have had kids and bounced back straight away




Updated here.