Author: Bonnie (SOAM)

Female Anatomy

Bonnie (SOAM) Anatomy, Body Image, Link 1 Comment

While I’m posting links about our personal bits, I wanted to share a link discussing basic anatomy. I’ve wanted to do this for some time now, because from time to time women posting here, either in submissions, or in comments, get the names of their body parts wrong. I feel like it is very common for women to not be familiar enough with themselves and I really hope that phase in our culture is coming to an end.

Anyway, here is a good guide to the vulva. It’s from a site created primarily for teens, but the information is excellent. As mothers, we probably know some of what she is talking about here, but take a peek anyway, you may learn something. I did!

Diversity of Vulvas

Bonnie (SOAM) Anatomy, Body Image, Link 9 Comments

This past Sunday, I was reading PostSecret and came across a secret about a woman’s feelings of shame over her hanging labia. It struck me as very similar to the feelings I had before I started this website. In response to the postcard, someone contributed a link to a post all about the diversity of labia, complete with illustrations (purely educational, but graphic).

I wanted to share this with you all because – just as with mama bellies – I feel like the more images we see of normal diversity, the less fear and discomfort we will have with ourselves if our bodies happen to fall outside of what we, as individuals, feel must be normal.

View the link, share your feedback here, and then pass it along to as many women and men as you can! We need to show the world what normal is.

UPDATE (1/15/15): Also relevant? The Great Wall of Vagina. Yes. It is as amazing as you think.

I’ve Learned a TON at Twenty-One (Abby)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 17 Comments

Most people my age are changing their majors in college, because they decided they don’t really like Art History as much as they thought they would.
They know exactly how many beers they can drink and probably still drive home.
They still are secretly thrilled that Mom can’t tell them what to eat or the “appropriate” way for someone that age to dress.
But not I.
I have been married almost four years, have experienced what “Two under two” really means, and yes – I relish the fact that I would rather sit at home watching Madagascar 2 then go to the club.

I met the man of my dreams when I was 17, married him within five months, and got pregnant in our first year. I was 5’3, and 125 pounds (super muscular too; I was a dancer).

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I gained at least SIXTY pounds by the end.

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And nobody told me that might happen. I never lost enough to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I tried so hard to have the self esteem I once did, but those around me were determined to bring me down. One of my friends felt the need to tell me that “a few crunches would tighten that tummy right up.” Thanks, skinny friend of mine. People close to me thought it was a good idea to enlighten me as to why I “gained so much EXTRA weight.” Apparently, they thought it was just me being a cow while pregnant. Okay, maybe that last part is a teensy bit true.
My amazing and beautiful daughter made me forget about the things that used to matter to me. Like: how I look in a bikini; is that girl staring at me because she is jealous of my awesome boobs; can I buy that in a size small…. These things magically got away from me while I was busy raising my baby. Also, she started walking at 7 months old, so I didn’t have much time to sit and think anyways. Bless her little heart.

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I got pregnant again when she was ten months old, and I was 150 pounds. And I decided I was happy with that.

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I only gained 30 pounds the second time around.

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When my baby boy was born, my tummy seemed to recede much faster. Maybe it was because I was chasing around my 1.5 year old. Who knows.

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I felt myself getting happier about my body so much sooner. Everything has fallen into place for me now – I spend my time worrying about toy recalls, wondering if my girl can still fit her fat head into the 12 month shirt, when my boy will decide that boobies are not enough and that he wants some real food, and how my toddler wakes up several times a night but my infant sleeps at least 8 hours straight.
It really helps that my husband is realistic – he knows exactly what a body is going to look like after a baby. And he tells me everyday that I am just as beautiful as I have ever been (except now and then he says I am just a little bit more beautiful…. he is such a wily one). I stare at myself in the mirror all the time and say, “You are one hot momma!”
And not because I am flawless. But because I know what makes me attractive to the people who matter; the fact that I am doing a great job raising my children.

I know my body isn’t perfect now. But it wasn’t perfect when I was skinny either. My life, on the other hand, feels about as close to perfect as it can get. At least until we have our other four children.

Me, four months after baby #2

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Life Just Is. You Have to Flow With it. (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Hey mommas!

Wow, my only son turned two last week and it really made me want to take a second glance at my body.
His father and I who were high school sweethearts have divorced but remain close friends, we just got married too young. Being a freshly single mother I am more conscience of my body than ever!

Pre-pregnancy, I was 5’3 and 108 lbs. During pregnancy I gained a tremendous 60+ lbs!
I ate healthily but unfortunately retained a lot of fluid during my last month. Now, two years later
I’ve gained an inch in height and weigh 112 lbs. I have always carried any extra weight in my tummy, but I’m working on it!

I thought I had escaped stretch marks, but during the week that my son was overdue they appeared
as if to say, “Hey momma! I’m ready to get out of here!” I had a 10 lb baby and he continues to grow like a bean stalk!

I’ve considered laser treatments for my scars, but they honestly don’t bother me that bad. I don’t wear a bikini unless I’m with close friends and family, but hopefully I can build up that confidence.

Good luck mommas!

The first two photos are current photos of my tummy and hips, the second of my son and I.

Update (Kerry)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Birth, First Pregnancy, Homebirth, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 5 Comments

Original entry here.

age: 18
1 pregnancy, 1 birth
1 month PP
I posted about a month ago. I was expecting my child on the 9th of April… Well he came! April 7th, at 10:50pm weighing 8lbs 4oz and measured 21.5″ long! We planned a home water birth. We barely had time to make the water part work because he came so fast, but it was just what we wanted, and more! In my earlier post I had shared my fears about my coming PP body and how this website was helping me get over them, not in the way that I wouldn’t look different, but that my body would be something to embrace instead of loath. I prepared myself for the worst, maybe if I hadn’t already been learning to embrace my body I would have still been upset and disappointed with my body. What I DIDN’T expect was to have the opposite reaction! Instead of just accepting my post baby body I actually love it! I have curves now, my belly and sides are still riddled with stretch marks, but they are barely visible, and my tummy skin is soft as can be. Im still about 30 pounds from my starting weight at 130something (I think, we dont own a scale) but I dont ever want to get that skinny again, this body is too enviable in my eyes! When I delivered my son, Levi, I was 196lbs, so to be down to 160 already is quite encouraging, but I have no problem if I platau here and dont loose anymore for months! Maybe I lost so much because I’m breastfeeding, but who knows.. Just wanted to share my utter joy with all the ladies on here!
1st: 3 hours before Levi was born
2nd: bringing our son into the world
3rd: 1 day pp
4th: 1 week pp
5th: 1 week pp
6th: 2 weeks pp
7th: 3 1/2 weeks pp
8th: 3 1/2 weeks pp
9th: my little treasure

Updated here and here.

Trying to Cope With My Shape as a New Mother (Revae)

Bonnie (SOAM) Back, Belly, Breasts, Butt, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 20 Comments

Trying to cope with my shape as a new mother!!!!!Please help!!!

My name is Revae and Im 22 yrs old first time mom. I am currently 14 weeks postpartum, and Im having a really hard time coming to terms with my new body. I had my beautiful little angel Jan 18 2009 and I love being a mommy. Ok here goes nothing, my pre pregnancy weight was 170 and I am 5’9, I got up to 225 when I was pregnant alot of the weight just fell off and Im now 183lbs and I love the way my new size 16 jeans look on. But when Im naked I feel disgusted with my apperance, My husband says he likes my new look and that he thinks that’s the way a mother is supposed to look. But I just feel so unsexy when we make love ya know all the jiggly jello just makes me uncomfortable PLEASE HELP ME COME TO TERMS WITH MY NEW LOOK I NEED THE SOME ADVICE AND NEW MOMMY FRIENDS!!!!

1st pic 8 months preggo
2nd pic Me
3rd pic 14 weeks postpartum
4th pic 14 weeks postpartum
5th pic 14 weeks postpartum
6th pic 14 weeks postpartum
7th pic 14 weeks postpartum
8th pic 14 weeks postpartum
9th pic C- Section scar

1 Year PP Update (Clarisse)

Bonnie (SOAM) First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

24 years old
1st pregnancy/ birth
Child is 1 year old

My name is Clarisse and I have a 1 year old son named Aiden. I wanted to share with you my struggle on losing The weight I gained and some .

I was down to 155 the beginning of 2006-07 then couple of months later went up to 188. The day I found out i pregnant was during the summer of 07, I remember looking down at my scale and it said 188 pounds. I didn’t know whether to be sad cause i was going to get Fat or happy with the thought of becoming a mother. I spent my teen years dieting and exercising trying to fit in as the “hottie” in my high school year.

I went up to 247 pounds during my 9 mnths pregnancy.

The first week I was 217 pounds … Then eventually stayed at 211 the first 6 mnths.

Breastfeeding didn’t help me lose all the weight.

I stopped breastfeeding my son when he was 6 mnths because I wanted to go back to continuing my school.

I enrolled two PE classes with my bestfriend and started eating Lean Cuisine and Smartones for 3 months and thats when I lost the last 20 pounds of my pregnancy weight gain.

It’s been 1 year and Im FINALLY back to where I started 188 pounds.

I know it’s still alot specially with my 5’1 frame but i’m really trying to reach my ultimate goal.

It was a long and hard journey but it was worth it. Now I hope to come back to this website and update u with my second round of weightloss goal.

My goal is to lose 30 pounds before the year is over for my Spring Wedding event.

I included pictures of me when I was at my heaviest and my After pictures at 187 pounds.

Goodluck mommies!
you can do it!

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The Ugly Side of the Bump (Julie DeCoria)

Bonnie (SOAM) No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 8 Comments

Originally posted here at Julie’s blog.

I’m a female. And so are you. This being said, we are instant unity in numerous issues: dieting, love, life, voting, shoes, and pregnancy. So, I feel I can say this and you all won’t judge…..

What the crap, Pregnancy?

Maybe, I’m just hormonal today, maybe the Prego Fairy just smacked me a bit hard with her “fat” stick, I don’t know…either way, I’m having a few issues today and I have a bone to pick with her.

I think, like many women, I was a bit disillusioned by the thoughts of pregnancy before I was actually pregnant. Don’t misunderstand, I am eternally grateful for this whole experience (especially since we had been told this was unlikely to happen, at all) and I am more than willing to make sacrifices for my family. Totally. I think I was just misinformed. No one really talks about the ugly side of the bump.

I have no clue how many blogs I have read (and written, for that matter) about the magical awesomeness that is pregnancy. To be fair, it has its amazing, tender moments. To be fairer, it has twice as many cruel ones that really, you have to laugh at. Otherwise, you cry. Lately, I tend to do both.

For example…..

A few weeks ago, while visiting the Mr. in Wyoming, we made a day trip to Jackson Hole for a little “us” time. While there, I experienced my most embarrassing moment during my pregnancy, possibly during my life. We meandered into a museum and leisurely strolling through the various exhibits and chit chatting about various pieces. Now, I should probably mention I was suffering through some fairly severe allergies and was having massive difficulty controlling my endless sneezing. While the Mr. was describing this thing or that (I can’t remember which) I felt what can only be described as an “uber-sneeze” begin to work its way through my sinuses and to my nose. I should probably also mention that I had also lost control over other bodily functions a few weeks prior, and was rarely given warning as to when one of those attacks might rear their ugly heads. (Oh, yes…THOSE.) So, unable to control my body at all, I emitted explosion sounds…from both ends of my body. Yep. I let one rip in public. The Mr. was nothing if not horrified and completely stunned. He just stared at me, mouth hanging open, unable to speak for about 20 seconds before he just backed out of the room. All the while, I could do nothing but clutch my belly and laugh hysterically.

Then there are nights like last night. I am just over 6 feet tall. My weight will never be a dainty number, nor will I ever be a dainty woman. I had hoped that when I got pregnant I would be one of the “lucky” women who got the basketball bump because I have been so vertically blessed. Much to my dismay this is not so.

I used to be a fairly sizable girl, if you will, and the fat girl inside me still whispers mean things in my ear whenever my weight fluctuates a little bit. About 2 months ago, as the numbers on the scale were creeping up rapidly despite my best efforts of keep them down, I became totally and completely discouraged and vowed to avoid the scale for the rest of my pregnancy, even turning around at the doctor’s office so I didn’t have to know the number. Somehow it’s ok for my doctor to know the number, but just not me. The numbers on the scale began to resemble those of NFL linebackers, you know, the big ugly, meaty kind. Can’t even go there. But last night, curiosity killed the cat and I dragged the scale out from behind the toilet and gingerly stepped on it….only to look down at the number and have it reduce me to tears… a sniveling, weeping, sobbing mess. Just reliving it in my head makes me well up all over again.

Darn hormones.

I have a temper like you wouldn’t believe, and it strikes for no apparent reason. My normally mild self is ready to fly off the handle for any given reason and my irritation tolerance is almost none-existent. I often find myself thinking, “Were you always this irritating?” about people whom pre-pregnancy I both loved and adored. Luckily, I’m still passive enough that most of my insults are merely smattering around my mind and not (always) coming out my mouth. If people could only hear the things I am screaming at them in my head I assure you they would have never been more offended.

I have never been less physically appealing in my life and it discourages me to no end, and it’s only going to get worse. I fear I will never gain control over my bodily functions again and my husband will wonder what kind of girl he married. I swear I’m still feminine…somewhere on the inside. I think.

There are sooo two sides of the bump. The loveliness, the tender moments, belly kisses, kicking, belly pictures, anticipation, where I become all a titter with excitement and anticipation, the side my heart resides on more often than not I do, I love it. But the other side, the ugly side, the disgusting side…really, not so much. I’m definitely living on the ugly side of the bump today.

So, like I said. What the crap, Pregnancy?

Still Trying to Adjust (Emily)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, NICU, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

Age 19- Mother of One Beautiful13 month old boy Aleckzander

I was 17 When I found out I was pregnant. My fiance now my husband and I had decided that we were ready to start our lives regardless of what anyone thought even though a lot of people thought we were crazy we were just living our dreams and running on faith and love. I married my amazing husband in December of 2007, and our son was Born April 12, 2008. This had to be the best day of our lives! Aleckz defiantly gave us a run for our money. I went into labor officially at Midnight on April 12, all though I later found out that I had been having contractions since about 10 o clock the previous morning! At 10 am the Dr’s told me it was time to push 4 hours went by and sure enough with the help of a vacuum my beautiful son was born weighing in at 6 lbs 4 oz and 19 in long. He was immediately taken to the NICU because they said he wasn’t breathing right. I got to see him 4 hours later. He was perfect. That night they had to put in a feeding tube because he wouldn’t eat but he ripped it out. My little man sure was a fighter.
Now at 13 months he is full of life, running around, laughing, and making everyone he meets ogle over his beautiful blue eyes, blond hair, and bright smile. I am reminded daily when I look in the mirror that my body may not be perfect but my son is =) I went from weighing 145 too on the day of labor 198 I’m done to one 160 but still not happy with my body, the stretch marks alone remind me of the battle that’s ahead of me =) All in All, I would take the stretch marks over anything to see my son Smile every single Day. He is the love of my life and the stretch marks remind me of the battle that he came from =)