Submissions

Still Struggling (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 7 Comments

My beautiful daughter was born almost 7 years ago. I loved every moment of my pregnancy. I did my best to savor each moment and I loved feeling every flutter, kick, and hiccup. A few weeks before my baby girl was born, I had a visit with my midwife and she marveled at my smooth, stretch mark free belly. When I visited her the next week, I remember her saying “oh no! you have stretch marks!” I remember feeling let down…as if I had almost made it through with my tummy in tact. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the stretch marks would not end up being the source of this frustrating struggle.

It took me quite a bit of time to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and once I did, I was devastated by what I saw in the mirror. Who cares about the stretch marks? look at that saggy, wrinkled tummy! I was not prepared for the way my body had changed. Prior to this, I had prided myself on the fact that I was a woman who would NEVER consider cosmetic surgery…yet, as I looked in the mirror at this hanging skin…thoughts started to creep in about a tummy tuck. That made me feel low as well. How could I be so vain to consider something like that???

Now, all these years have passed and I am ashamed to say that when I look at my belly in the mirror…when I look at the body that grew and birthed the most precious little being…I still fantasize about the tummy tuck. I don’t care about the stretch marks. I’m even rather proud of them. The saggy, wrinkled skin that doesn’t improve no matter what I do is the source of the embarrassment and frustration I feel. I don’t want to seem petty. I don’t want to seem vain. I am just speaking my truth and it is a truth I never thought would be coming from me. I have been thinking about submitting my story to this website for YEARS and I am just now finally following through. It is my hope that I can find my confidence once again.

~Age:
39

~Number of pregnancies and births:
1

~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are:
7

The Result of Growth (Chloe)

Bonnie (SOAM) 20+ Years Postpartum, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Mom over 30, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 1 Comment

I’m built very petite (5’2″, 100-105 lbs when I’m not pregnant or nursing) and yet three times, I’ve given birth to nine pound babies (my boys are almost 12, 9, and almost 7). It’s taken me time, but I’ve learned to love, honor, and respect the fact that my body that so often feels so small and vulnerable was able to grow and accommodate such big babies. I had to have c-sections because of the width of my pelvis and for a long time that felt like a failure- but now I honor that, too. The loose skin that buckles and puckers when I bend or sit is a physical representation of all the growing and expanding my body and soul have had to do, in order to become a mother. How could that possibly be ugly?

-Chloe, age 33

031016-chloe-2

031016-choe-1

True Story (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Submissions 3 Comments

True story:

I hate seeing myself in photos. I’m the heaviest I’ve been in my life and this beached whale look is not cute on me. I feel like a huge aching blob most of the time. Today while cleaning the bathroom I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, “damn, I look good!”

And guess what? I don’t fucking care if that’s conceited.

030216-jfacebook-1

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Four or More Pregnancies, No Photos (Story Only), Postpartum, Question, Submissions 9 Comments

Please tell me what I can read! I’ve had children I’ve got a mess of a stomach etc stretch marks loads of problems… 4 children were the ex husbands he told me after I had kids he missed my body from before I had children (I don’t know where to start), cheated on me. Divorced him. Was single for years . Met a guy thought he was nice almost two years ago now we have 1 son together now. And I found out he’s gone out where there’s skimpies, had porn and crap on Facebook, been liking porn on Instagram. I can’t breath! It matters to me I told him I’m not ok with it and he says it means nothing but it’s not ok, it makes me feel like I mean nothing and he didn’t love or want me.

I just feel like I could stop breathing and die I can’t take this…

What did I do I can’t do anything about my stretch marks

My New Body (Melissa C)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

My son will be 10 weeks old in a couple days and I’m at a loss for words because I can’t believe it has flown by so fast. I feel like it was just yesterday he was born. It was my first pregnancy so I was eager to follow all the guidelines to being pregnant including eating healthier than I normally would, taking my vitamins every day and taking care of myself as best I could. The one thing I had no control over was the rapidly increasing amount of stretch marks that started to cover my body slowly taking it over. I was never really in love with my body to begin with. I’ve been self conscious about myself and my weight since I was in middle school. My weight always fluctuated throughout the years and it seems like I was always on a diet trying to lose weight. I loved being pregnant and being able to feel my baby move around inside me. Knowing that he was depending on me to grow him, care for him, and protect him made me feel important. But the way my body was changing and getting bigger made me hate myself even more. I hated the way my stomach was covered in stretch marks. I would never take a belly picture without a shirt on. I tried everything to prevent them- from Palmers cocoa butter, Palmers tummy butter, Palmers oil, organic coconut oil, and exfoliating consistently and nothing worked. And I never thought back then that it could get any worse, until now. The loose, saggy, wrinkly skin that hangs down from my stomach makes me feel so depressed. I know it was worth it because I get to be the mom to a beautiful little boy that loves me so much. At the same time though, I don’t feel happy with myself. I can’t imagine ever feeling beautiful again. I’m jealous of the girls that think they’re fat but take for granted their flawless skin. I would love to be that girl again. You can always lose weight if you you aren’t happy with your size, but you can never get rid of the deep marks scattered over your skin. If there was a clean unmarked area of skin on my body it is now tagged with the marks of having a child. They’re literally everywhere. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a bikini, or any bathing suit for that matter. I am just trying to accept the fact that this comes with having my son and there is nothing I can do about it now so why waste my energy focusing on it? I wish I could be truly happy with myself and finally love myself, stretch marks and all.

Age: 24
# of pregnancies: 1
Age of child: 10 weeks

Unplanned C-Section (Greenbean)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

I went into the hospital at 7:30 am to be induced. After several hours of my baby’s heart rate being consistently low and frequently dipping further it was clear she was not coping well with labor and with my cervix refusing to dilate past 2cm despite doing all we could we knew that a vaginal birth would not be possible and I went in to have a c section a little after 2 am. Although some people see it as such, a cesarean is not “the easy way out”, it does not make me any less of a mother nor does it make my daughters birth any less valid. This was not something I wanted or expected. It was very scary and upsetting, it was painful, and the recovery has been slow and difficult, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around her throat three times so it needed to happen so my baby could be born safe and healthy and I would do it again in a heartbeat for her. She is perfect, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and this scar is a reminder that we did what was necessary for her sake and I am incredibly proud of that.

21 years old
2 weeks postpartum
1st baby

020916-greenbean-1

21 and Heartbroken (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Abortion/Life after Abortion, No Photos (Story Only), Submissions 8 Comments

I found out I was pregnant just before Christmas, after a few weeks of morning sickness and painful cramps. But I unfortunately made the decision to have a termination due to many different factors in my life and haven’t told anybody about it apart from my boyfriend. We’ve been together now for over two and a half years and he’s been so supportive with everything. I can talk to Him about anything but I feel embarrassed, guilty and very selfish about what I’ve done and have started to fall into a sort of depression. My older sister found out she was expecting a few weeks before I did and seeing her go through this experience when I could have been as well is killing me. I know it’s my own fault but it was the right decision for us both at the time. I just want my angel to know that I am so sorry for everything that has happened I know that doesn’t make up for what I have done, but I will love you forever.

I was just in need of some support or advice

My postpartum body is horrible, and I have a lot of insecurities!!! (K. Evans)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Before Pregnancy, Belly, Body Image, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

Well for starters I have a lot on my plate. I’m a single mom, I work, and go to school. I just turned 20 last December, and this was my first pregnancy. I love my son to death I wouldn’t trade him for anything, I just regret having him at a young age. I feel like a bad mom sometimes because I get so down about my postpartum body, and it worries me so much I lose focus on what’s important. I’m 3 months pp and I thought I would be at least almost back to normal but I’m not. My stomach is very wrinkly and covered with stretchmarks as well as my sides, thighs, hips, even my calves. I don’t even want to date in the future because of it…its just that awful. The only thing that cheers me up about it is my son because he was well worth it. I just wish it wasn’t so bad ?

The first picture is me before pregnancy, the last two are me 3 months pp….

I am their Motherbear! (Motherbear)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

3 giant baby bears + short torso = this crepey saggy skin! It just sort of hangs there after losing weight. But you know, some pretty wonderful people began life there so I can appreciate it for the sake of nostalgia. And for those of us who have our abs cut through a few times, i think we can forgive ourselves for not being what we used to be.

~Age: 33
~Number of pregnancies and births: 4 pregnancies. Miscarriage @16 wks, 3 healthy wild boys
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 9yrs, 4yrs, 3yrs
~3 C-sections. I still can’t feel my abs.

012516-motherbear-1

Not What I Planned (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Toxemia 4 Comments

1 pregnancy & 1 birth

I’m not really sure how to tell my story, I had it all typed out and deleted it because it ended up being a jumbled mess. It’s much easier to just list the major points so bear with me! (:

-18 when I got pregnant..5’2 and itty bitty with curves in all the right places
– Didn’t gain much weight at all through my pregnancy (overall about 15 lbs in the first and second trimesters combined)
– Developed severe preeclampsia and full blown HELLP syndrome at 31 weeks
– Emergency C-section 2 hours into 31 weeks
– Delivered a tiny little 2 lb 8 oz baby who thankfully has no long lasting health problems and is thriving at 8 months old ?
– spent 7 weeks in the Nicu at my daughters side
– told that I can’t have anymore children because my body just isn’t strong enough to handle it
– After she was born I had stretch marks show up EVERYWHERE and the little weight that I did gain went directly to my tummy
– While I’m not necessarily happy with my body physically I think my hatred for it is more of a mental thing..I despise it for not being strong enough to carry my daughter to term and not being strong enough to bare any more children :(