Submissions

Struggling in My Skin (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

I have always been on the chubby side with a belly before pregnancy. I am a first time new mommy and I would not trade it for the world. I love my son Caiden with all of my heart and cant believe he is mine. He makes me happy and so proud. Giving birth was the most amazing gratifying experience of my life, I had a vaginal delivery with an epidural. He was 7pounds 4ounces I had 3 tears and had to have stitches. I am now almost 3 months post partum and am so uncomfortable in my skin. I feel like everyone is looking at me to see if I lost the weight after baby and im so insecure.I see my friends who have had babys and look esactly the same perfect skinny bodies with flat tummys and not one stretch mark.As I mentioned before I was never a skinny girl with a perfect flat stomach but my skin did not hang and I did not have these ugly stretch marks everywhere. I had gestational diabetes with my pregnancy and gained about 35 pound.s I was 196 pounds before pregnancy and am now 200 pounds so have lost most of the pregnancy weight, but I feel like I will never be the same and no one would be attracted to me. My clothes either dont fit at all or dont fit the same and I cant find pants that fit me right for anything. My vaginal opening looks completeley different its more open and my muscles do not feel as tight as they once were. I am trying to accept all of this and know it is all worth it for the amazing beautiful baby boy I have but it is hard. Am so glad I found this sight because I dont feel so alone.

~Age:25
~Number of pregnancies and births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: my son is 11 weeks old/ 11 weeks post partum

the photos are 3 11 week postpartum belly shots one of me 9 months pregnant and one of my baby boy caiden

Coming to terms with the new me! (Krystal)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 2 Comments

Tomorrow is the 36th week of my pregnancy. It seems like overnight my body has changed – some changes are beautiful others are a little harder to accept. I’ve waited 29 years to have a baby. In fact, I never thought I would get the chance to be pregnant or carry a baby but somehow, here I am! :) In just four weeks my dreams will come true – I’ll be a mother of a beautiful baby girl – so why do I find myself scrutinizing my body in the mirror looking at every new stretch mark and every pound gained? I tell myself that it is ridiculous that I am so consumed with changes that are NATURAL and part of being a mother. I try to remind myself that the ridiculous image of women portrayed by the media is warped and wrong and that I should be proud of this body that is nourishing and protecting my daughter and giving her life. Still, it’s hard. So, here I am writing this post so that I can force myself to be proud of the New Me. I am no longer the Krystal who never felt her daughter roll around and jump in her belly or whose breasts grew so that she could feed her little girl. I am a mother now and that is something incredibly wonderful and something that I should be proud of. My stretch marks and new body are my proof that I am this new person and I am going to wear them with pride. I’m not going to let the world dictate to me that I should look 18 years old forever. I am going to do this so that I can break the cycle of “achieving perfection” with my own daughter. I’m going to look at these changes every day and remember that I am a very blessed woman who should appreciate that she given an opportunity that some women don’t get to share. I am going to be thankful and most importantly, I am going to be proud!!

***The pictures show my pre-pregnancy body. I was working out a lot to try to get in shape which explains the crazy pose and really low pants! lol Then there is a close-up of the stretch marks on the right/left/ front of my belly and my breasts which have grown almost 3 cup sizes!***

~Age: 29
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy with my daughter Carmen
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: No children until July 16, 2012!

Motherly Beauty (Rachel)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 2 Comments

21
1 daughter (18m) and trying for another

I am a 21 year old mother of an 18 month old baby girl. I came upon this site while searching what to expect of your body after having a second child, as my husband and I are trying for our second.

Before becoming pregnant I had what most would call the perfect body. I am 5’8″ weighed 145 lbs…solid muscle. I never knew what love handles were. I could pull anything off. My boobs were amazing. Better than what most women pay to have done. I wore a size 5 and a 34b. Beautiful hourglass shape…I was in love with my body and proud of it as I put a ton of work into it. (picture below)

I continued to wear a size 5 through out my pregnancy. I experienced a ton of sickness. I could not even brush my teeth without vomiting. The smell of food sent me running for the bathroom… My first 3 months I lost 15 pounds. I looked like a stick person… My size 5 jeans were baggy on me… I was miserable…(picture also included) The picture of me with the 12 gauge was at 5 1/2 months, closer to six. Those jeans fit perfectly prior to the pregnancy… I had a small bump barely visible then… I did not start to show until 8 months…its like I woke up one morning and BAM! I routinely used Palmer’s and bio oil through the entire pregnancy but around 8 1/2m I developed them on my sides and one down the middle of my stomach…the same time my belly developed so did my breasts. I went from a 34b to 38D almost overnight, leaving me with horrible stretch marks around the entire perimeter of both of my breasts. I was all baby. After having my daughter who was 7lbs 13oz and 21 1/2 in, my body looked like it did before having her (2hrs later lol) then the water weight and the swelling set in. I wrapped my stomach with a corset type garment for the first 5 months after.. I had the infamous pouch on the front and love handles…which I hate! I have such a long torso that the love handles make me mis-shaped…its like they set in right above my hip bones just on the sides and not all the way around… crazy… Well anyways going from my pre-baby body to this mishapped mess really took its toll on me… I had a hard time adjusting to my curvy body and saggy boobs but my husband has helped me a lot… According to him I made him sick before having the baby because I was too skinny and a woman is supposed to have curves and meat on her bones… I agree with that now… I have come to love who I am. My mother tells me that I finally look like a healthy woman. And I feel that way now… I do still run nightly (2 miles) and toning…abs and push ups to maintain myself. Now that we are trying for our second child I am going to continue running through the pregnancy, as I was afraid that if I did the first time around I might lose the baby. I hope that my stories and picture give you new and expecting mothers hope… I didn’t know of resources like this for my first child.

Black swim suit is 17m after baby
rebel swim suit is 1m after baby
gun pic and red shirt are 5 1/2m prego
scrubs is before baby
black and white is 8 1/2m prego

Learning to work at my body and love how I got here. Wanting to give hope to other mommies out there. (Kelly)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 3 Comments

I am a 31 year old mother of 2 little girls ages 5 and 2. Before I had my first daughter I weighed about 135lbs and I am 5’9″, I was athletic and in great shape…..with my first daughter at the time I thought I looked horrible and worked very hard to get back to my pre baby weight. When I delivered her I was 212 lbs I did it in about 9 months and was pretty close to looking like I never had a baby :) When we decided to have our second daughter, I had been through a lot emotionally and was about 145lbs, still healthy for someone my height (I have a small slender frame even though I am tall, I wore a size 2 my senior year of high school) my second pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and was so lethargic and tired all the time from it that I was not able this time to work out during my pregnancy……the day I delivered her I weighed in at 245 lbs! I had a 3 1/2 finger ab separation and had undergone a c section…..I have been doing light workouts from the time the doc gave the ok, focusing on training my core muscles back together, until about a year post partum…..I upped my workouts a little more but since I still had about a 2 finger ab separation I was limited to certain workouts otherwise I may have done forever damage to my abdominal wall. About 6 months ago I increased my workouts to 6 days a week which included about 30 minutes cardio and an hour of various weight training…..I am currently about 170lbs and hoping to lose another 25lbs in the next 6 months…..my main concern is the wrinkled skin and extra fat on my abdomen which with the help of Argan oil treatments and tons of ab workouts seems to be diminishing little by little everyday and I also have 0 ab separation at this time and my core is stronger than ever (so for those of you out there with the same problem, I am living proof that an ab separation does NOT always mean surgery) I have attached a pic of my tummy from about a month ago, I don’t have and did not take pics of before 6 months ago because I was sad and ashamed so I don’t have a comparison for the look of it now but trust when I say it looked like a deflated balloon and hung a little over my panties…….I will try to update on my progress if I can over the next few months but I do believe with hard work and discipline I will look again like I did before my babies came along……:) Oh and I have completely changed my diet, I am not on a diet, but I eat very healthy and drink tons of water…..without this I don’t think that I would have made the progress I have made so far…..I have read about other mothers who have stuck to the old fashioned patience and working out and they have had the success I am looking for, so keep plugging along and love yourself for the beautiful miricle you have brought into this world……

Depressed About My Stretch Marks (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

I am 26 years old my daughter is 10 months old. I have never been confident about the way I look. As an overweight preteen I would spend hours looking at Seventeen and YM magazines. I think this is where my poor body image started because I did not look like the girls in those magazines. I became obsessed with losing weight and by the age of 16 I lost over 50 pounds and was very thin, but never thin enough in my eyes. Even after losing all the weight I was not happy because I had faint stretch marks on my lower stomach, breast and just above my bottom. I would sometimes spend hours in bed crying over these left over reminders of being overweight.

When I found out I was pregnant I knew that I was prone to stretch marks even though my Mother has no stretch marks. I applied bio oil twice daily to my belly as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I would go through a new bottle every month and all it ever did was ruin my clothes. I did gain a lot of weight and it was all in my stomach. I first started seeing stretch marks at around the 7th month. My stretch marks did not bother me so much at the time because I was so excited about the baby growing inside me. During my pregnancy was the last time I can say I felt beautiful or good about myself.

When I was getting close to my due date I told the nurse who would weight me at my weekly check-ups that I did not want to know how much I weighed because I was getting so close to 200 pounds. I did not think I could handle hearing that I was 200 pounds because I am only 5’3.

I had a very hard labour but it was all so worth it when I got to hold my sweet beautiful girl in my arms. I had my mind set on breast feeding and I am still breast feeding now. I started losing weight fast and my stretch marks looked so bad after my daughter was born . My lower stomach was saggy and all my stretch marks where on the middle of my stomach around my belly button and I had none on my lower stomach where I would have preferred them because they are easier to cover up . At my seven week check-up my doctor looked at my stomach and said “oh lots of stretch mark”. I thought to myself sarcastically “thank you for pointing that out because I was not aware of it before and it’s not something I think about all the time”

I was never a person who wore revealing clothing or bared my midriff but now I have to wear a tank top or camisole under all of my shirts so the shape of my stretch marks do not show through and I can still see them. There have been times when I have been all ready to go out and took one look at myself and stayed decided to stay home, this drives my boyfriend crazy and he thinks I am being immature. I see pictures on Facebook of new moms out in bikinis a few months after giving birth and it upsets me so much. I wonder why my body has to be covered in scars when other women look the same.

My boyfriend tells me all the time that he does not notice the stretch marks or care about them and that he thinks I am beautiful. He really wants me to stop talking about it . I wish I could believe him but I just can’t seem to get pass it.

I hope we all can get pass our body issues it gets in the way of enjoying life.

Young Mother of One (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 12 Comments

I got pregnant at 19, after being with my Husband for 2 months (this was before we got married). I was very depressed my first tri because I wasn’t ready to have a child, especially with someone I hardly knew. I came around in my second tri, after feeling a fetus move inside of you it’s just so magical you can’t help but fall in love. When I was 5 months pregnant my husband and I got married, a month before he left for basic training in the Army. I’m 5’1″ and I have an extremely short torso, so I always looked a month or two more pregnant than I was, everyone would joke that I was carrying twins. My daughter’s due date came and went, and a week after she was due I was induced (pitocin will forever be my enemy). My OB suggested an epidural at only 2cm (after they broke my water), which I knew you weren’t supposed to do until 4cm, but I thought she would know best and 20 hours later, after screaming and puking and crying, still stuck at 6cm, I had to get an emergency cesarean. The cesarean was the last thing I wanted, but after 27 hours of labor, it was a relief. My husband couldn’t be there, so I had my mom, step-mom, and cousin there for support.

Once I heard her cry, I began balling and she looked just like her daddy. She was 8lb, 7oz, 21 inches long. I had to spend 4 days in the hospital, I will never forget the awful recovery of a C-section. I struggled with breastfeeding and the pain of the incision, as well as realizing I had to take care of a little person 24/7! I never realized what my mother did for me until I had a child of my own….being a mom is the hardest job on the planet!!! My husband didn’t come home until she was 3 months old, and honestly I thought it would be more magical than it was. He held her, and she cried. He assumed it was because of him but she was just hungry….He wasn’t as excited to see her as I had imagined…He told me when he came home he would be the only one taking care of her for weeks, but that never happened. Being a single, married mother….that’s something that really kills me.

We now live on base, and I still do everything. I found out he was cheating on me not 2 months after moving here, thousands of miles away from my family and friends…but I’m still with him, and I’m trying to make it work. We are in marital counseling and he knows if he messes up again I’m leaving him for good. He is very supportive though, he loves my body and tells me I’m beautiful and that it was for a good purpose. I’ve been struggling with my body image a lot, I feel like a flabby old woman. I thought my body was awful before pregnancy, and now I would give anything to have it back. It’s hard to accept myself, I know it was for a good purpose, to bring my healthy baby girl into this world…but I struggle with it everyday. After what my husband did, with those younger girls who haven’t had children….it makes me so insecure. The women I know that have had children look great and it’s really discouraging. I really want to accept my body, but I believe it will take a long time. I can’t wear any of my clothes without looking awful, I can’t wear jeans or my tummy makes a little shelf, my tummy is deflated and saggy, and my boobs look the same. Hopefully I will find the light and come back posting that I have learned to love my body, and I really hope I do.

Age – 20
4.5 months postpartum

Bun in the Oven (Jeannie Roshar)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Humor, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

When I was pregnant, I felt like men stopped looking at me as a woman. They even talked to me differently. Sometimes, they would talk to me like I was something “dear” that needed protection. That didn’t bother me so much, I mean, it’s sweet and of course we should protect and honor all of our mothers-to-be. But, what really bothered me was men would seem physically uncomfortable around me. Some even seemed grossed out! This made me really irritated, I mean, where do they think they came from? Well, since I’m a comedienne, I had to do something about it. So I got 4 other pregnant women and we made a raunchy rap video to stick it to them! Not safe for work and raunchy, so don’t watch it around kids, but I hope you enjoy!

~It may look airbrushed, but it’s not. We had good lighting! Makes all the difference!!!
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1st pregnancy/birth for three of us, 2nd for one and 4th for one!

2 Months PP belly. Hate it, but will learn to love it. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 17 Comments

I was 16 when I got pregnant had my sweet little 8 pounds and 7 ounce baby boy after 40 long weeks of pregnancy at age 17! Im 5 foot 7 inches and 147 before i got pregnant at the end of my pregnancy i was a whooping 193!! I now weigh 172. And i know it’s only been two months but it’s hard for me to love my body at such a young age. However I wouldn’t take my son back for anything! I just need a confidence boost that hopefully maybe my belly will look better? My belly button is STILL sticking out…will that go back in? The first two pictures is me in my bikini right before i got pregnant. And the next 3 are 2 months after pregnancy, but the last one is me and my wonderful gift from God!

32 weeks pregnant and stretchies have started… (Toni)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

Age – 24
Currently 32 weeks pregnant with #1

When I first discovered I was pregnant I became increasingly curious about predicting what my body would be like during and after pregnancy, and so I started to stalk this site. Although I wasn’t overweight when I fell pregnant, I have always been very self-conscious in my body as I was overweight during early high school and had stretch marks from puberty. I stocked up on Bio Oil and Cocoa butter, but knowing my mum and sister didn’t get any during their pregnancies, I was hoping genetics would save me.

I am so embarrassed to say that I was/am petrified of stretch marks and constantly worried that I am never going to feel confident or sexy again. I know that the little human growing inside of me is worth every mark, but it’s so hard to see the bigger picture. I have been with my Boyfriend for 7 years, and I love him so much. I know that he will still love me post-pregnancy, but I am scared that he won’t be attracted to me any more. My stretchies have only just begun and I know they will get bigger and bring friends :D over the next 8 weeks. I just hope that I can ‘get over it’ and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

Pictures of me now at 32 weeks from both sides and a picture of me at 10weeks pregnant.

Toni xox

Updated here.

My belly, the first home of my biggest blessings… far from flawless, but I love it anyway. (Julie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Gestational Diabetes, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Polyhydramnios, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 5 Comments

-24 years old
-6 pregnancies, 5 children. (1 loss at 9 weeks gestation.)
-J, 7 years old. P, 6 years old. K, 5 years old. G, 3.5 years old. L, 2 years old.

– Hello ladies! Thank you for allowing me the oppeortunity to share my own story. :)

My husband and I found out we were expecting 6 months before we planned to marry. Our relationship is a little unique. He is 5 years older than I, we have been together since I was 14 and lived in our own home since I was 15 & he was 20. I was 16 when we found out I was pregnant, April 20th 2004. We had been planning to wed, with the blessings of my parents, October 16th 2004. 2 months after my 17th birthday. When we found out we were expecting.. I was 5’1, very lean and toned, and weighed 112 pounds. We did indeed wed on October 17th, with our daughter present in utero. :) My pregnancy with her was for the most part uneventful once I got past the first trimester. The first 13 weeks I suffered from Hypermesis Gravidarum and before I was finally prescribed Zofran for it, I vomited all day, every day, and felt awful. I frequently landed myself in the ER because of dehydration. I got down to 108lbs, and that is when they decided to prescribe the Zofran. Later in pregnancy, I developed what they call “polyhydramnious.” This meant I had a lot of extra fluid, for unexplained reasons. Because of this, my stomach grew rapidly and I experienced very sudden weight gain the last few weeks. My last weight before giving birth was 162lbs. Going off 108, I gained 54 pounds. J was born at 38 weeks on December 21st, beautiful and healthy, weighing 7lbs 1oz.

My husband and I knew from the get-go, even being young parents and newly weds, that we wanted a large family. We are both from large families and we wanted the same. So we decided to let go with “not trying, not preventing” as far as our sexual relationship went. Coincedently, I found out I was pregnant for the 2nd time, AGAIN on April 20th, 2005. The EDD was the same as J’s, as well! We were shocked given the circumstances & the fact their dates were exact, but we were ELATED! J was 1 day shy of 4mos old, and I still had a lot of work that needed to be done to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Obviously, that was going to have to be put on hold. The next month consisted of a lot of blood work, a lot of doctor visits, and a lot of ultrasounds. Unfortunately on May 26th, 2005.. after a month of no growth or change in the embryo, including no heartbeat… we realized the pregnancy was not viable. My midwife scheduled a D&C with the OBGYN at the clinic I went to. On May 27th, 2005, we said goodbye to our Angel that wasn’t mean for this world. We were obviously heartbroken, disappointed, sad, etc. But we had J to keep us busy and we focused on what we had been blessed with, each other and our beautiful daughter.

And then just a few weeks later, mid July, we found out for the third time we were expecting AGAIN! Obviously we were very nervous because of the miscarriage, but thankfully the pregnancy progressed and everything went well. Our 2nd child, a beautiful baby boy, was born also at 38 weeks on April 10th 2006 after an uneventful pregnancy. He weighed 8lbs 1oz and like his sister, was healthy as can be. J was 15 months old when she became a big sister.

Now if I continue to give the run down on all my pregnancies, my story will get ridiculously long… LOL! So I’ll just share the bare minimum from here on out.

#3, our 2nd son, was born on June 24th of 2007. I had polyhydramnios with him as well and gained a massive amount of weight. Because of the severe PH, my water broke at 36 weeks. Even so, K weighed 7lbs 2ozs and other than some jaundice from his premature liver, he was healthy as can be. At the time of his birth, J was 2.5 years old and P was 14mos old.

#4, our 3rd son, was born at 38 weeks gestation on December 18th 2008. G was another uneventful pregnancy, born healthy weighing 8lbs 10ozs. At the time of G’s birth, J was just shy of her 4th birthday, P was 2.5 years old, and K was a week shy of 18 months old.

#5, our 2nd girl, was born at 38 weeks gestation on April 19th 2010. With L, I had what my midwife called “borderline gestational diabetes.” I failed my 1hr Glucose test with her, just as I did with G, but with him I went on the pass the 3hr. With L, I failed by just a few points. I was RIGHT under the “normal” range. Because of this, I had to monitor my blood sugar during my pregnancy and eat a semi-diabetic diet. At 2 weeks early, L was born weighed 8lbs 15ozs.. 1 oz shy of 9lbs.. and that is AFTER she took a nice pee on me just seconds after she was born. I think it’s safe to say she would have weighed at least 9lbs even if she had been weighed before peeing. They tested her blood sugar shortly after her birth since she was such a good sized baby even 2 weeks early, which is a sign of macrosomia… large baby caused by gestational diabetes. Her blood sugar was absolutely fine… she was just a healthy girl. At the time of her birth J was 5yrs old, P was 4, K was 2 mos shy of his 3rd birthday, and G was 16mos old.

A grand total of 5 pregnancies, 1 loss, and 5 healthy blessings in 5 years and 4 months time. The grand total of the baby weight my uterus held comes to 39lbs, 15ozs! That’s just the weight of the babies.. not to mention the fluid, blood, placenta, etc. Obviously with only 4-8 months between each pregnancy… I didn’t have a lot of time to lose the baby weight, and instead it just kept piling on. I breastfed, but unfortunately I was not one of the lucky mamas who shed the pounds with the help of nursing.

I grew more and more uncomfortable in my own skin as the years went on… and for some reason, I lacked the will power and confidence to get back in shape. Around the time of my daughters 2nd birthday.. I finally became fed up. She hadn’t nursed for quite some time, and I knew it was time to take control of my life and get back to a point whre I could be comfortable with myself. So I got serious, and I decided to make a lifestyle change. At that time, my starting weight was 195lbs. At 5’2. I was morbidly obese. The girl who was always “naturally slender,” was morbidly obese. I know you ladies can imagine how I felt. I visited my family physician, we set up a weight loss plan complete with my goals, and he prescribed me a weight loss aid to help me along. My goal is not to become skinny. My goal is to become HEALTHY and be COMFORTABLE with my body. The body that has done AMAZING things for me and kept the 5 most important people in my life HEALTHY until it was time for them to be born. 12 weeks later I have managed to lose 45 pounds, 13 combined inches (waist, hips, thighs) and 2, ALMOST 3 pant sizes. I am 15lbs from my goal weight, and granted my weight loss has slowed down significantly from what it was in the beginning.. I am still working hard to get there so I can be healthy and feel good about myself… and I can honestly say I grow more and more comfortable with my body each week! The stretch marks do not bother me. The loose skin does not bother me. As I said, my body did the most amazing thing for me… FIVE times. The weight gain, the struggle to lose it… it has all been MORE than worth it. I will never have that tight, perfectly toned, flawless body I had before kids and that is perfectly fine with me. That’s not my goal. I am so proud of myself and my confidence, the way I feel about myself, is better than it has ever been. I am proud of my body regardless of the fact I still have 15lbs to go to my goal (which by the way is on the heigher end of “normal” given me height. But like I said, I’m not trying to get skinny.) and a LOT of toning to do. Fitness and exercise have become an every day part of my life, and it will be even after I hit my goal. It’s something my family and I can do together, and it makes us feel good. The weight loss has been a blessing.. but the biggest blessing of all is my children and I will forever be greatful for the body that carried them and kept them safe during their gestational period…. MY body. <3 Oh, and for the inquiring minds.... no, neither my husband or I got any permanent sterilization. We are using precautions and plan to for a while longer.. but we do intend to welcome at least one more child into our family sometime in the future, assuming it is meant to be and we are blessed again. Just taking a break for now. :) Thanks again for allowing me the opportunity to share my story. :) If you made it through the novel, kudos to you and thanks for reading! (My progress pictures are ready to be updated with the 12th week photos. This is start, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, and 9 weeks. I have lost 5 more pounds since the 9th week photo.) [gallery]