Struggling in My Skin (Anonymous)

I have always been on the chubby side with a belly before pregnancy. I am a first time new mommy and I would not trade it for the world. I love my son Caiden with all of my heart and cant believe he is mine. He makes me happy and so proud. Giving birth was the most amazing gratifying experience of my life, I had a vaginal delivery with an epidural. He was 7pounds 4ounces I had 3 tears and had to have stitches. I am now almost 3 months post partum and am so uncomfortable in my skin. I feel like everyone is looking at me to see if I lost the weight after baby and im so insecure.I see my friends who have had babys and look esactly the same perfect skinny bodies with flat tummys and not one stretch mark.As I mentioned before I was never a skinny girl with a perfect flat stomach but my skin did not hang and I did not have these ugly stretch marks everywhere. I had gestational diabetes with my pregnancy and gained about 35 pound.s I was 196 pounds before pregnancy and am now 200 pounds so have lost most of the pregnancy weight, but I feel like I will never be the same and no one would be attracted to me. My clothes either dont fit at all or dont fit the same and I cant find pants that fit me right for anything. My vaginal opening looks completeley different its more open and my muscles do not feel as tight as they once were. I am trying to accept all of this and know it is all worth it for the amazing beautiful baby boy I have but it is hard. Am so glad I found this sight because I dont feel so alone.

~Number of pregnancies and births:1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: my son is 11 weeks old/ 11 weeks post partum

the photos are 3 11 week postpartum belly shots one of me 9 months pregnant and one of my baby boy caiden

4 thoughts on “Struggling in My Skin (Anonymous)

  • Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 9:34 am

    You are only 11 weeks postpartum and your body has a lot of changes it will go through. It takes time to feel like your old self because your body looks different and you have no time to spend on your self and are more than likely sleep deprived. I felt awful about myself and it was a struggle to look in the mirror most days but it will get better. Your tummy will shrink and your stretch marks will fade. I hope this site will let you know that you are not alone and there are many mothers out there who struggle with their body image. Keep your chin up because you are a beautiful Mom :)

  • Wednesday, August 1, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    I know exactly what you mean about not bouncing back like “everyone else” and feeling pressure to get back to pre-pregnancy size. But the reality is that people really aren’t looking and don’t much care, lol! I was also heavier to start with and I feel like it makes it that much harder to except the sagging skin and stretch marks. But just wait, your body still has a lot of healing to do and you’ll look much different in a year. And know I’m jealous of your great butt and toned thighs!

  • Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    I kno what u feel like. Iam 12 weeks post par, but i gained 96lbs with my son ;-/ it was alot of water weight but i still need to get rid of 50lbs to get to pre preg weight. I have NEVER in my life been this heavy and it makes me not want to even talk photos with my little one. its sad.

  • Friday, August 10, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    Give it time, things will get better. Yours is the first story I’ve come across here that mentions the change vaginal. I noticed the same thing with my body. Kegels and lot of them will fix that for you. You want to shoot for 100-200 a day minimum until you’re back to normal. Good luck to you.

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