Submissions

3 weeks PP and in the Navy (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 10 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies/births: 1/1
Age of children: 3 week old baby boy

I joined the Navy when I was 18. Went to bootcamp in Great Lakes Illinois two weeks after I graduated from High School on July 3, 2007 and graduated August 31, 2007. I ended up being stationed at NAS Oceana in Virginia Beach Va, across the country from my family in California. I met my amazing boyfriend in the Navy and found out we were expecting a baby November 2009. I was terrified and i felt so alone being so far from home.

I weighed around 150 when I met my boyfriend and was comfortable with my weight. I had gained 20 lbs by the time I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 206 just before I gave birth and I hated the way my body looked. I’ve never had a flat stomach and a perfect body but I’ve always been so comfortable with my body until I got pregnant. The stretch marks I could handle. I’ve had them before and they faded with time until they were almost invisible. It was the darkening of my nipples and arreola that horrified me. They used to be a pretty pink and now they are a dark brown. I now have a dark line from my belly button down to my pubic bone. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore.

I have 6 months to get back in shape for the Navy. I have to get down to 145 or 32% body fat. I weigh 178 and am nowhere near being 32% body fat. I have more pressure to get back into shape from both the Navy and my boyfriend. I feel useless in my own body. I can’t work out until I hit 6 weeks PP. That’s when I go back to work and am cleared to start working out again.

On top of everything I’m trying to heal physically and emotionally from my c section. I feel like a failure as a mother for not being able to have a normal vaginal birth. I feel like I have been robbed of experiencing my baby’s birth.

Hopefully one day I recover from the experience and be able to lose the weight and get back into shape. As for my flabby stomach and saggy uneven breasts, I plan on having plastic surgery in a year when I transfer to another command. I’ve never felt confident enough to wear a bikini and I’d like to wear one someday. My breasts have never been perky and they’ve always been pancake like and my nipples always pointed down. I love my baby but not the body that came with him. He is so worth it though.

1st pic: Pre pregnancy
2nd pic: 40 weeks pregnant
3rd pic: 3 weeks PP belly
4th pic: uneven saggy breasts
5th pic: side view
6th pic: c section scar
7th pic Anthony Gabriel
8th pic: Anthony and Daddy(I’m jealous of his abs lol)
9th pic: Anthony and mommy

Trying to come to terms with my new body. (Vi’s Mama)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 20 Comments

I had my daughter when i was sixteen. Before my pregnancy i was a mere 95 Ibs. I wore a size 32 B. I didn’t appreciate my body at all. During my pregnancy i used lotion, vitamin E oil, Shea Butter…I bought pretty much every “stretch mark” cream available, but none of it seemed to work. At one point during my pregnancy it literally looked like tigers had scratched my breasts to shreds. They were covered in thick angry red lines. I was so embarrassed by my body. I remember when i was eight months pregnant i was lifting my backpack up in the school hallway and a classmate happened to see the stretch marks surrounding my belly button. She looked at me in disgust and said “God, i hope that doesn’t happen to me if i get pregnant.” During my pregnancy with Vi i developed a herniated belly button. After she was born i had it corrected, but the surgery left a scar underneath my belly button. I breast fed Vi until she was eight months old and began biting. I absolutely loved the experience, but it’s been really hard for me to accept my saggy breasts. I am now eighteen and my daughter is 15 months, a lot of my stretch marks have faded, but i still feel too uncomfortable to wear a bathing suit in public. I hear my friends complain about their unscathed bodies and it drives me crazy. I am so grateful for this site. After reading some of the entries i have finally begun to feel pride about my scars. I gave birth naturally to a beautiful 6 Ib, 14 ounce baby. She is my world and i would give up a flat stomach and perky breasts for her any day!! Sincerely, Vi’s Mama.

Updated here.

My Story is Long (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Child Loss, Diastasis Recti, Four or More Pregnancies, Hernia, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 12 Comments

38 years old
5 pregnancies/4 live births/2 miscarriages
7.5 year old daughter, 6 year old son, 2.5 year old boy/girl twins
30 months postpartum

My story is long. It spans more than a decade. When my husband and I got married we didn’t mind if we got pregnant right away. Well, 5 months into our marriage we did find out we were pregnant! We were very excited, as were our families. But, unfortunately we lost our baby due to a miscarriage. I was 10 weeks along when I found out but the baby died at 8 weeks. We did an ultrasound and they could see the embryo but no heartbeat. Well, a month and a half after we lost our baby we had another tragedy, one that I’m still dealing with to this day. We had just gotten back from a surprise visit to our families (both sides) 5oo miles away when we found out that my sister-in-law and her 4 oldest children were murdered. Her 2 youngest children survived. We also found out she was pregnant and was due about a month after our baby would’ve been due. I’m not going to go into more detail other than this it was the most horrible time of my life. Well, we decided to keep trying to have a baby. We thought we’d try to do Natural Family Planning to figure out when I was ovulating. I am blessed to have normal periods. We tried for a couple years. We kept getting a negative pregnancy test. It was a very stressful time. We were living in student housing at the university my husband was getting his Master’s. They didn’t allow pets. My husband wrote the people at the head of the housing dept. and told them our situation (including our tragedy.) Our therapist that I had been seeing for awhile also wrote telling them how it would help me. Well, when we got word that it was Okayed to get a pet the date was September 12th. 2001. It was around this same time or shortly after that our Dr. gave us 3 more months to try before we would do other tests to figure out what was going on. I found out about the Ovulation Predictor Tests and did that 2-3 times. It really does work. But the thing that really worked was getting kittens!! We decided on 2 since they would keep each other company. We found we were pregnant right after the 3rd month ended. My husband gives all the credit to the kittens! :-) I was really blessed to have an easy pregnancy. I was heavy when I got pregnant. I’m only 5 feet. When we got married I was 135. But I was about 170 when I got pregnant the 2nd time. I got up to about 198 when I delivered our first daughter. I had heard about Bradley Natural Childbirth through my sister-in-law. So we went the classes and were very convinced to how important it is about no drugs, etc. I was determined to have a natural birth. My due date came and went and then my Dr. went on vacation. She made an appt. for me to see the ObGyn the following Monday. That Dr. took an ultrasound of our baby (who was thankfully head down! But nothing going on that indicated labor was starting soon.) She hardly saw any fluid around our baby’s head. She told us to go home and get our stuff that I needed to be induced that day. She said she couldn’t guarantee that our baby would be alive in 3 days if we waited. Talk about a scare tactic!! I was so afraid I would end up needing an epidural and having a c-section. I wanted to be able to labor at home!!! We called our families to let them know, got our stuff and went back. I was admitted around 1pm Oct. 21st and they used a quarter of a pill Citotec to get my cervix started. To make a long story short I was able to get a natural birth. The only thing I took was a sleeping pill around 1am to help me sleep a few hours. They punctured my water bags (that left a tiny scratch on my daughters’ head! ) at around 3cm at 8am. That really scared me thinking she did it too soon. Even though they wanted me in bed they did allow me to walk around the boring small hall ways and also sit in a chair. I did find that my body worked better when I was moving. The pushing stage was extremely long, 3 hours or more. But at 11:15pm (34 hours after I was induced) our beautiful daughter was born weighing 8 pounds! She was 10 days overdue!! I nursed her for 11 months when I found out that my milk had dried up and tasted salty. My daughter’s only way of telling me was to bite me and I endured that 3 days! before I found out why. I was sure dreading nursing at that time. I felt so bad for her when I found out why. I was 3 months pregnant with our oldest son at the time. My pregnancy was the same with him very easy. He actually came on his own and right on time! I went into labor 7pm March 20th and labored all night and into the next day. I was determined to labor at home. I went to the hospital once at 1am and they sent me home (fine with me! :-) ) at 1cm. I had a Doula come over to our house (and our daughter went to stay at a friend’s house) and she helped me while my husband rested. I also had a different doula with my daughter’s birth. I believe they do help and are important to have! But I didn’t rest. I found out the hard way how important it is NOT to get exhausted. I finally went to the hospital around 1-2pm March 21st. Everyone was surprised I was 8cm!! But the next 3 hours almost made me not want to have any more kids. My Dr. (who was our original Dr. from the start) gave me the choice of her breaking my water bags. I let her do that and it wasn’t long after that I had nonstop labor pains that were HORRIBLY hard to relax through. Even when I was finally able to push I had no break. At first they had me flat on my back and I didn’t want that. That’s the worse pushing position!!! They realized I didn’t want that and put me on my side. But I didn’t want that either! I couldn’t tell them that I wanted to sit up (like I did with my daughter!) Well, at 5:53 pm our handsome son came screaming into the world. It’s funny he actually got better apgar scores than our daughter. She didn’t cry but was VERY alert looking around right after she got out. Our son weighed 8 pounds and 3.5 ounces. I nursed him until he was 21 months old. I ended up weaning him suddenly because I was pregnant again. I didn’t want to tandem nurse. But we lost our baby around 8 weeks again. This baby was also due when our first baby was due (August). Our daughter was 3 and she was heartbroken when we had to tell her. For awhile we had decided not to have anymore. I was down to 160 lbs. which was still too heavy for my height. (I had also gotten up to about 200 lbs. with my sons pregnancy.) I had always wanted 4 children (2 boys and 2 girls). So we decided to try again. It’s funny when I got pregnant again my sister-in-law (my husband’s sister) had a dream (one before and 2 after we were pregnant) that I was having twins! My mother-in-law was positive I was having twins because I looked so big. But I was heavy to begin with so I didn’t believe it!! When I was 20 weeks along we went to have my first ultrasound and immediately we saw 2 heads!!! What a shock!! I was 100% sure I wasn’t having twins!! We were having one of each! So my dream came true!! So did my sister-in-laws! I still had an easy pregnancy even though it was hard to breath at times. I ended up having a c-section (twin A our son was butt breach and twin B our daughter was transverse laying comfortably across my stomach.) I was really scared to have a c-section and to have to have an epidural. I have scoliosis so that was part of my fear. But everything went beautifully. They were born Dec. 13th 9:14 and 9:15am at Son: 6 lbs. 9 ozs and Daughter: 6 lbs. 3 ozs. I was 39 weeks along. If I wasn’t already scheduled for a c-section I would’ve had the babies anyway that day. I had already started going into labor waiting for them to take me to surgery. I weighed around 208lbs! My heaviest ever!! Even though I really wanted them naturally I was also relieved to have a c-section. I have such long labors and I didn’t think I would be able to physically go through labor even if they were both head down. I have scoliosis so I really feared having the epidural. I made sure the Anesthesiologist knew I had scoliosis. I had no problems with the epidural or the c-section. Everything went perfectly. I only got to see my babies for just a minute and then my husband went off with them. It seemed forever (with the sewing up and recovery) before I got to see them again. (Maybe 2 hours.) My little girl was starting to fall asleep when I got to hold her for the first time. So needless to say she didn’t nurse well in the beginning. My little boy was more awake and nursed better. But I have large nipples and they have small mouths. They were almost 2 pounds smaller than my older children (who had no problem nursing.) When we got home (3 days later) I wasn’t nursing them well. I was sore and bleeding and dreaded nursing. Late that night my husband talked me into to giving one of the formula samples to our son. He was so hungry he practically drank it down quick! I felt so bad that he had been that hungry. So I ended up pumping breast milk and also feeding them with a bottle formula. My kids were thrilled to get to feed them. My husband’s family also helped who lived next door to us. It was a reality check. I was so against the formula and I wanted to nurse my twins so bad that I purposely left most of the formula samples at the hospital. When we explained the situation we were able to get even more than if we had taken all the samples they gave us home. I gave myself a couple of weeks to heal. Then one day I laid my babies on our bed and was getting ready to pump. I had gone to the Lactation Consultant the day before and also had read about correct latch on. So I thought I would try to nurse again. They were growing and maybe their mouths were bigger now. (They might’ve been closer to a month old when I did this.) So I took my baby boy first and tried nursing him. At first he didn’t latch on right and I had to take him off and get him to open wider. After that he did perfectly and I didn’t have anymore problems nursing him. My little girl had a more difficult time nursing. But I kept it up with her too. But I did continue pumping to give them mostly breast milk and also some formula. I was afraid I wasn’t making enough milk for them so I also took Fenugreek to increase my milk supply, and did it ever. My husband loved it! J I think by the time they were 5-6 months old or so I was able to exclusively breastfeed them for a solid 2 months or so before I started giving them solids. My baby girl was always 2-3 pounds lighter than my baby boy from 2-3 months on. I nursed them just until this past March (until they were 27 months old.) I enjoyed it most of the time (99% of the time it was both of them nursing at the same time, which was not always an easy feat!) But I do miss nursing them and the cuddling we did.

I have 2 hernias. One is a belly button hernia that I got when I was halfway through my oldest daughters pregnancy. My second hernia is an incisional hernia. I got it when my twins were about a week old. I was given a stomach girdle to wear after my c-section. If I had known how important it was to wear it I would never have taken it off. But it was uncomfortable and the nurse let me take it off. I wore it at home but not regularly. The day before I was to get my stitches out I wasn’t wearing it and I was sitting on the toilet and I blew my nose. I felt something rip but I didn’t feel any pain. When I stood up one side of my flabby belly was farther down than the other. That really freaked me out. I was afraid that I was going to have to have more surgery to correct (I was thinking like right away). I had the stitches out the next day and the Dr. said I had developed a hernia there in the incision site. I can’t remember what else he said about it but at least it wasn’t an emergency like I was afraid it was going to be. So now I have a double hernia. I was going to get them fixed but Medicaid would not cover it. But it did cover me having the procedure done Essure which is permanent birth control. I would’ve had my tubes tied during the c-section. But I waited too long to get the surgery set up. Medicaid here wants the c-section set up a month in advance and then they will pay for tube tying. Otherwise you would have to pay for ENTIRE thing!! (C-section and all). So when my twins were around 6 months old I had the Essure procedure done. I recommend it to anyone who wants to have a nonsurgical way of permanent birth control.

Anyway I am now 2 and a half years postpartum and I have gained about 10 pounds. I’m around 180. I need to lose weight. My husband is so amazing and supportive. He loves my body but he also wants me healthy. Sometimes I have a hard time breathing at night. I need to figure out a good exercise regime that won’t make my hernias worse. I know I need to walk more. We have a treadmill and are starting to use it more. Sometimes my stomach hurts and I know it’s my hernias. I have these movements in my stomach (lower left area) that feel like a baby kicking. Sometimes you can even see my belly moving like a baby kicked! It’s weird. One time I even took a pregnancy test just to be sure even though I knew it was next to impossible. It was negative, of course. I do miss being pregnant. But 4 is enough for me. I love my children and wouldn’t change things for the world. I know I do need to work on getting my belly smaller and maybe my hernias wouldn’t look so bad. I also need to be healthier for my family and me.

My pictures were taken June, 2010. I was 30 months postpartum, 180 pounds at 5 feet tall.

From Girl to Woman (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 2 Comments

28
ten months post body

i posted just only today also talking about my belli and my job .

i wanted to share this amazing transformation with you mummas i am absoluty amazed at how the body grows and changes , i mean really the pic speak for them selfs !!!!! i am learning to love there new transformation,,its going to take some time , this is apart of my healing.

pic 1 and 2 pre pregancy
pic 3 ,,8 weeks pregant ,,pic 4 16 weeks pregant ,,pic 5 and 6, 32 weeks pregant ,, pic 7 40 weeks pregant,, pic 8 two weeks after having my baby , pic 9 and 10,, ten months after baby ..

21 pregnant with # 3 (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 2 Comments

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 16yrs. old I honestly thought I would be one of the girls who didn’t gain much weight, or would be all baby but I was so wrong. I’m 5’2 and when I got pregnant with my daughter I was 135 but by the end of the pregnancy I had ballooned to 175 I had my daughter on May 2, 2006 by emergency c-section and she weighed in at 6lbs 10oz. and 20inc. long. She was my world and I still held on to the hope that I would shrink down but I struggled with weight problems after that.

By March 2007 my weight had only gone down to 165 I then found out that I was pregnant again but shortly after finding out I miscarried and I was devastated, I believe within a couple weeks my weight went down to about 155.

In May 2007 I hadn’t got a period since miscarrying and I took a home pregnancy test and got a positive, I had gotten pregnant about the first time that I had sex after miscarrying and this baby was definitely a blessing in disguise, I had my son on January 4, 2008 weighing 8lbs 7oz. and 20inc long. My weight at the end of the pregnancy with my son was 190lbs and within 2wks I was down to 170lbs. But again I had problems keeping my weight down.

In Oct. 2009 I weighed about 180lbs. and in December I weighed 187lbs. In January I went through a break up with my kids father and I believe I lost about 15lbs from January to March when I got back with my kids father. On May 4, 2010 I found out I was pregnant again I was 18wks my weight was 177 and at my 20wk appointment my weight was at 175, but at 24wks my weight was back up to 186lbs. I’ am now 25wks 5days and want this baby to be healthy but I can’t help but feel sad about gaining weight!!

The first 3 pictures are of me back in October so I was about 21mos PP from my son. And the last is me at 25wks 1day pregnant with baby #3

You may also choose to include:
~Age:21
~Number of pregnancies and births:4pregnancies/ 2births (sofar)
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: DD 4yrs, DS 2yrs, 25wks 5days pregnant with #3

Updated here.

I Can’t Stand to Look in the Mirror (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Update 45 Comments

~Age: 20
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies 2 births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 22 months and 3 months

I had my first baby at 18 and my second at 20. Before I fell pregnant I had a fantastic body – although I never appreciated it. Now, I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. I’m suffering quite badly from post partum depression but have sought treatment and I am now on anti depressants. Most days, I can’t leave the house. I hate myself for being so vain and preoccupied with the way that I look – I should feel proud of myself for what my body has achieved, but it’s a struggle to look at it that way. I’m currently 3 months pp after my second baby, and have so far shed my weight from that pregnancy, but still have about 8 lbs to go before I reach my goal weight (the weight I was before I fell pregnant with my first child.) Even though I weigh 127 lbs, my body shape has changed. I hate my wide hips, and all the loose skin – I’ve got a permanent ‘muffin top.’

My husband has never been one for compliments, but I wish for once he would just say that I look okay, or that he thinks I am beautiful. Feeling that I look ugly to him is probably what gets me down the most. Our sex life is non-existent, not that I don’t offer, but he’s just not interested. He says it’s not because of the way I look, that he’s just tired, etc, but I don’t believe him.

I wish I could be confident, and accepting of the way that I am. Right now, I am focusing on getting my mind healthy and being a loving mother to my two amazing children but the way that I look is a constant weight on my shoulders.

(1st picture 5 months pp with first baby the rest are me today, at 3 months pp after second baby)

Updated here.

Mother of One Little Girl (Sade)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 11 Comments

I had my daughter Harmony six months ago. It was a scary experience because I was only 21 when I found out and it was a one night stand. The father lived in another state. I was going to abort my child but I decided to keep her and get in contact with the father. What happened next is straight out of a fairytale, he moved to my state and we decided to try to be together for our child, a year and some months later we are still together strong! I’m so blessed.

As far as my body, I’ve always been slim with lil to no body fat. When I was pregnant I gained forty pounds but I was a fitness junkie while pregnant I worked out five times a week and ate well. When I had my baby, I lost all the weight in four months because I worked hard. I didn’t get stretch marks but I think its because my mom didn’t either and she has two children. My daughter is definitely a blessing and pregnancy was one of the best things to happen to me. I got some hips and booty, which I lacked before. That’s my story.

Age: 22
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
Age of children: 6 months

Australian Ex-Professional Dancer Battles with Post Baby Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

28
one child
ten months post body
65-kg before pregnancy
95 peak pregnancy
75-kg to date,

i use to dance professionally in burlesque and cabaret-bars , having my whole job revolve around my body and my own sense of sexuality i was always great shape , having to keep toned by having a active and a healthy life style.

when deciding to have a family i had no idea what the consequences were to be upon my body , i had the idea to keep working afterward ( of course with a healthy time of to share with my baby) but i find my self with a incurably saggy belle and a thousand strong deep stretch marks , i will always have to wear a corset now if i decide to go back to work,, during my pregnancy i ate all hearted !! i ate lamb shanks , mash potato , i though to my self i am growing a baby i may as well give her all the food she needs !! or was that food for me ?? during my dancing i had to watch what i ate, it was plenty of small frequent low carb nutritious-meals , to keep my figure , so needed in the high class of exotic dancing,, i had a lot of water retention and the blue marks appeared-around week 34 and at my peak of pregnancy i had put on a whopping 30-kg but gosh those cup cakes never tasted so good !!! best yr. of my life !!!

i have lost the weight but now i am left with the saggy left over skin.

sometimes i wonder weather the skin stretched so much because i put on so much weight and it was all my own fault, but then i have two friends that were tiny ( like myself) before falling pregnant and have bellies-like my own ( very saggy and wrinkly , so i think its a mix of heritor ( my mother had the same thing ) weight gain , and skin elastic ,my daughter was two weeks over due and i was huge … my skin stretched to impossible lengths it was like i was carrying twins , ( see pic below in labour )

so i find my self kinda in a state of shock , my body has changed so quickly in just one and a half yrs. , been put through so much strain, ( created the most amazing thing in return ) but sometimes i feels hard letting go of my own body image and excepting the change .

it some times does not feel like my body, i am uncomfortable in my sexuality for the first time in my life , and find my self not wanting to share my self with my lover , i feel ashamed with the change , i am trying to love and except ,, but its not easy …

my breasts are much fuller and saggy now , i personally feel quite at peace with them in my own private life , but the thought of returning to work now and showing my breast sounds terrifying to me,, but my belli is a different matter , i am so disgusted by it i cannot even look at it ,i always am having to wear a corset , to be honest i think i just may never dance again ,, which honestly is devastating ,,, i love what i do and love bringing joy and humor to people through my shows ,, my savings were extremely healthy and i always had strong work ethics and was am proud of what it do ,i was never ready to give up dancing,, i feel like my successful business was taken away from me .

if i was GIVEN 20 thousand dollars for a breast enhancement and tummy tuck would i do it ?? YES
would i pay 20 thousand from my OWN savings for the operations ,,, NO

my hard earn money would go to my family , not myself . but god i would love to win the lotto !!!

in retrospect if i had of know back then of what i do now of my change in body i would never want it any other way ,, the joy of mother hood far out ways the way i am feeling about my body ,, one strechmark for every smiles from my baby girl ,, now that a good exchange :) , i am trying to move on and heal through this , thats why i want to say a big thank-you to all you other moms who have shared there story, you are all apart of my healing .

i am struggling to keep positive

Second entry here.

Mommy to a Flower (Meghan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age: 18
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 months pp, 6 months old

I was 180lbs when I found out I was pregnant . I was trying to lose weight, but having a hard time .
Throughout my pregnancy I gained 40lbs and some stretchmarks . After my daughter was born, I breastfed her, and lost all my pregnancy weight in the first week. After that, I have not been able to lose any more .

Its been 6 months, and I often find myself depressed about the way I look . I see other women, and wish I looked more like them. I am still breastfeeding, and trying to excersize as much as possible . My boyfriend always tells me he thinks I am sexy and doesnt want me to change a thing . I wish I felt the same way about myself .

The first two pictures are from my pregnancy, and the last two are 5 months pp .

Happy in My Skin (Ziona)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surrogacy, VBAC 8 Comments

I have given birth twice so far, once by c-section, and once vaginally. My youngest is 10 months old now, and I’m finally starting to feel happier in my new skin. I have stretch marks, cellulite, sagging breasts, bags under my eyes, and the c-section “flap”. I will probably start a dance exercise program (Zumba anyone?) because I still feel the urge to tone. But my stretched out belly is still beautiful, as my son can attest when he chooses to cuddle with it instead of his daddy. I still feel beautiful all over, because the most precious thing in my life considers me to be the end all of awesome! How can I feel bad about myself when someone so perfect thinks I’m the best EVER?? I honestly can’t. And I breastfeed, so while my breasts are no longer perky, they sustain my precious child and give him comfort. He spends hours a day coming over to me and begging for a sip or a snuggle, and it makes me feel great to be so wanted and needed, regardless of whether other people think I’m too fat.

I’m hoping to be a surrogate this year, so I think I’ll do an update if it’s successful on how I’m feeling about my body after giving someone who can’t have children the gift of life! I’m so excited!

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 and 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 10 months