Pregnant

Wanting to Love Something That Is Beautiful (Taylor)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I have never been skinny, my whole life i have watched my mom who has 3 children share clothes with my younger sister when i could never do that. To this day they still do that but now it hurts me more… i am 18 i am 2 months postpartum 25 pounds too heavy and riddled with stretch marks. My mom has no stretch marks and shares clothes with my size 00 14 year old sister who walks around the house complaining about how fat she is. All i can do is look down at my tummy jello and compare myself to her. I have a beautiful daughter and everything my body went through to get to her is well past worth it but i can’t help looking at myself in the mirror and wanting to cry. I was hoping with the way my mom looks i would look ok after having my baby but i wasn’t that lucky. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to accept my body with the way my family looks. I was 17 when i got pregnant, i had just started wrestling and i was almost happy with my body. I had good muscle tone and i liked the size of clothes i wore (3 in jeans… now a size 7). I never thought that the postpartum period would actually be the hardest part of having a baby (body wise). I could accept my weight gain during pregnancy because everyone claimed it was going to get soo much better, that if i breastfed the weight would melt off and of course i would have my beautiful baby at the end. Well i have my adorable baby but where is the body everyone promised me? I feel terrible about not being able to accept it because i did earn it. My boyfriend told me he has never been more attracted to me because of earning all those marks on my body by making our daughter. I just can’t bring myself to feel the same way that he does. I want to love my body but i can’t see how i ever will.

Pictures:
1) pre-pregnancy
2) 32 weeks pregnant (before i really got my stretch marks )
3) my beautiful baby
4) 9 weeks postpartum front
5) 9 weeks postpartum side

28 Weeks Pregnant (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I am currently 24 years old and am pregnant with my first baby. A baby boy :) My husband and I have been together going on 4 years and have been married for a year, in May of 2012. We had our actual wedding/celebration on March 24th, 2012. On April 20th, 2012, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child :) We were and are still beyond excited!! I was 6 weeks pregnant when we found out. The journey has been an interesting one! I am 5 feet tall and weighed 130lbs before I found out I was pregnant. I ended up losing 7 pounds in the first few weeks of my pregnancy! My husband and I like to camp and hang out with our friends, as well as hunt and fish and of course drink beer ;) After I found out I was pregnant, I obviously stopped drinking and stopped eating out everyday. I began eating very healthy and drinking lots of water. In the beginning, it was a little difficult for me, as my husband and I are still very young, and love to have fun together with our friends and family. I have always been paranoid about getting “fat” during pregnancy. My belly slowly started to form and finally popped at about 20 weeks of pregnancy. I have escaped stretch marks on my tummy, but have gained some on my breasts. I have attempted to stay active throughout my pregnancy, by doing prenatal yoga at home and in a studio. I also take my dog for walks when it is not 100 degrees outside, and I also do little leg and arm workouts to keep up with the toning. Being 28 weeks pregnant and feeling my little man move around in me is well worth it. I currently only weigh 139 lbs. I am still trying to eat healthy and take care of myself. As of this week, I have become very tired again :( Watching my body grow has definitely been an experience for me. All of my friends are tiny and I tend to get a little jealous when they look so stinkin cute! However, I am happy with my belly and body so far. My legs have always been pretty big! Although, they were the first things to go, I’d say. I will keep you all posted on my journey after motherhood. My babe is due December 17th, 2012 :)!

First picture: 6 weeks 1 day
Second picture: 20 weeks pregnant
Third Picture: 28 weeks pregnant

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

I’m 20 years old and pregnant with my first child. I’m 36 weeks pregnant. Before I got pregnant I’ve always been tiny 5’2 and 110 lbs. I loved my body and loved being skinny. Now I’ve already gained about 50 lbs and still gaining. About two days ago I noticed stretch marks and I haven’t stopped thinking about them since. I’m unsure of what to do about them and I’m really afraid of what my stomach will look like after birth. I have used cocoa butter my whole pregnancy it clearly doesn’t work. I’m do self concious and I’m not confident anymore. I just want to be happy with my body and I know I won’t be once I have the baby. Still trying to learn how to cope with everything :(

I don’t feel pretty anymore. (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 5 Comments

Age – 21
Pregnancies – 1
Births – Due Dec. 4th, 2012

Hi, I am 25 weeks pregnant. I was 209 pounds before my pregnancy and have gained 21 pounds so far. My BMI indicates that I was MORBIDLY obese before my pregnancy, but that is far from true. I think BMI’s are a joke, honestly.

I have always been between 150-175 and always felt GREAT! I don’t know if it was because I was going through a lot in my life at the time, or because I was just comfortable with my fiance’ (we recently married <3) but I put on some weight in the last couple of years. My husband is very supportive and tells me everyday how beautiful I am. I think my biggest problem is my new stretch marks on my belly. I was hopeful that I wouldn't get any, but of course, lo and behold, they showed up at about 20 weeks. :( I have always had stretch marks on my thighs and sides, but NEVER on my belly, so I always felt comfortable in a 2 piece. Not anymore! I don't feel comfortable in CLOTHES let alone a bathing suit anymore. I just think they are terrible and I cry sometimes when I look at them. I want to feel sexy for my husband. I want to be in shape and I want to look good. I have also had a scare with gestational diabetes and I just did my 3 hour glucose test 3 days ago and we are waiting for the results. I have the worst anxiety about this pregnancy and I try to control it because I want to be strong for my husband and my daughter, but some days it is just so much to handle. I just hope one day I can feel better about myself. :/ Pic 1 - Me at my thinnest Pic 2 - Me at my ideal weight Pic 3 - Me pre-baby Pic 4 - 23 weeks pregnant on my wedding day Pic 5 - 25 weeks prego Pic 6 - 25 week belly :/ [gallery]

Struggling to Accept My Body and Find Time to Work Out (Megan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 28
Baby: 14 weeks, baby girl Rain Lily
First pregnancy and birth

First off I would like to say I am truly blessed to have my beautiful Baby Girl. I have never loved anything or anyone so much. She puts a smile on my face everyday, and I couldn`t imagine my life without her. The day I found out I was pregnant my Fiance and I we over the moon. We had been trying for over a year and felt like it just wasn`t in the cards for us so when we saw that positive pregnancy test it truly was a dream come true.

My pregnancy was okay. During my last few weeks (I delivered at 39 weeks induced) my blood pressure raised and I was retaining alot of water. My feet almost tripled in size! So I was a little uncomfortable but all and all my pregnancy had no complications and I stayed reletively healthy. I did gain 50lbs though! (my baby girl was only 6lbs 8 oz) Pre pregnancy I was 5`8 and 125lbs (size 2) on the day of my delivery I was 175lbs!

I am now 14 weeks Post partum and loving every day of being a mother. It truly is an incredible feeling to have such a bond with such an amazing little being. But I am struggling with my own self image. I hate looking in the mirror I feel flabby and fat. I am now at 140lbs 15lbs off my prepregnancy. I am wearing a size 6 now so a bit far off of my prepregnancy size 2. My Fiance assures me that he still finds me sexy and likes my post pregnancy body but when I look in the mirror I don`t see anything I like. I walk twice a day for an hour each time, but other than that I am finding it hard to work out. I try to do yoga at least twice a week but my sweet baby girl just isn`t the greatest napper and I really am not good at leaving her with anyone either. My fiance works out of town for 3-4 weeks at a time so I am mostly on my own. My mom has offered to babysit for an hour while I go to the gym but I just get this anxiety (nothing against my mom) about leaving her….. I just want her in my sight all the time. But I also feel like I will never get my body back if I dont start something now! I am exclusively breastfeeding as well so that makes it harder to leave her as well. I am just concerned that I will never feel sexy again. I am truly greatful for this site because it shows me that I am not alone in my feelings and with all these great post pregnancy pictures it gives me faith that I will be able to have some what of my old body back.

I have attached 2 pics of me pre pregnancy about a month before I conceieved
A pic of me at 38 weeks pregnant
And 2 pics of me at 14 weeks post partum
And 2 pic of my gorgeous baby Rain Lily and one of us both

Any feed back on what work outs work while staying at home with the little one and maybe some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

I have so much love and respect for all the wonderful Moms out there!

Will I ever find peace with myself? (Megan O)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

Age:22
1 pregnancy
1 daughter 14 months old

I have always had weight acceptance issues or what have you, but I have always been a very active person and was fit as an adolescent. I grew up in a family where being overweight was normal but for some reason I had issues accepting even the slightest weight gain. When I met my husband I was in the best shape of my life but I could not accept it, I constantly hid my body, did not take a compliment without protesting and you would NEVER catch me in a pair of shorts. I find all of this completely absurd now that I am post partum and the biggest I have ever been in my life. I went into my pregnancy at 5’9″ 179 lbs , ran every day and played basketball for an hours almost every day. I had just ended a long term relationship and took shelter in the comfort of my best friend ( now my husband ; couldn’t be happier). I ended up with a surprise pregnancy which took my family and his parents for a spin and needless to say gave me a good bout of depression. This caused me to take comfort in eating and all exercise and activity ceased. I gained so much weight my doctor told me to “take it easy hunny we still have 12 weeks to go” That moment didn’t help my self esteem and I promised to ease up and start walking but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I went into the hospital at 244 lbs and had a beautiful healthy baby girl without complication. I couldnt find anything to wear since all my clothes were size 12 jeans and medium shirts, I went to the store and couldn’t fit into size 22 jeans without fat hanging over and this was not something I was comfortable with so I resorted to tight maternity clothes and sweat pants and my fathers old shirts. By October I decided I was going to start to work out and started to drink weight loss shakes. By January I had lost 30 lbs and was down to 215 lbs. I started a Biggest Loser competition at work and convinced everyone it was a quick way for them to win money when really I wanted a support group when it came to eating and exercise and it worked. At the end of the competition I was down to 198 but I was still not happy. I kept looking at the scale and seeing 20 lbs to go rather than being proud of the close to 50 lbs that I had lost. Today I am still at 192lbs and have hit a plateau but I can run 4 miles in 40 minutes and can do 1 hour of power yoga daily. But this is still not good enough for me I will run and critisize my times or say I should have done another hour, I will do Yoga and obsess over doing another hour or working out again that day. I just want to be happy with me, my husband loves me and my curves, my daughter loves me unconditionally no matter who I am and I should do the same. I have my good days and sometimes weeks where I look at myself and see a beautiful woman but some days all I see is ” Bigger than before”

I took the first step to happiness and threw away my scale, I will not let a number dictate my day. I have also promised to tell myself two positive things about myself every time I think negatively of myself. I also remind myself that if a friend said all the bad things about herself in front of my I would tell her no and wouldnt let her do that to herself so why do I allow myself to this to me. Enough is Enough, just like last October when I decided I would work out today I decide that I will workout my mind and spirit. This is more important than my size, this is important for my family and my daughters well being. This matters more than the size of my jeans.

Only a Little Bit Happy (Cassie Leigh Macleod)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 12 Comments

The truth is i am only just a little bit happy. I laid in bed (baby 11weeks and 5 days old) finishing off an embroidery piece my own mother started when i was born but then left half done and now i am hell bent on finishing for some reason although i don’t know why to be frank. So i laid there doing my sewing with my little baby girl Dahlia Grace asleep in her moses basket next to me and my wonderful handsome boyfriend asleep next to me and i had an overwhelming urge to wake him up to tell him that for the first time in a long time i felt a little bit happy. I decided against waking him up since i knew he’d be the one waking up to feed the baby before he went to work at 6am. I don’t know why i suddenly felt happy but it clicked for five minutes in a dark bedroom with a couple candles lit so i could see what i was doing, but id been so unhappy recently, mainly during pregnancy actually. i thought to myself that healthy eating and exercise must have given me this short burst of little happiness. On June 15th 2011 i had a boob job, 2 years previous id had all my teeth pulled out and veneers put back in, i’d got my bum on the treadmill and sweated 20lbs of fat off my body and was 132lb. Hard work to earn the money for plastic surgery and hard work in the gym was definitely worth it. June 2011 I felt amazing and incredibly happy, I was graduating from Uni that month, i had a new job and life seemed simply good. On June 28th i fell pregnant and 5 weeks later i found out. Life was going to get difficult but if i could mirror a similar relationship i have with my own mother then a difficult future was okay with me. On April 17th 2012 i gave birth to my daughter and I weighed 187lb, yes 55lb heavier than i was 10 months previously. When i gave birth to my daughter there were some complications and i’ll save the details but i wouldn’t wish my experience on my worst enemy. However i would go through that every single day if it meant my baby girl was safe. Thats what is most important to me. I felt elated when my baby laid on my jelly belly for the first time. I can’t express the enormity of love i felt for her the second i felt her skin against mine but any mother who has a warm heart understands this love. I felt the need to explain in this story of mine to you that regardless of how i feel about myself i would quite easily give anything up for my baby. So…back to being in bed with my boyfriend and feeling a bit happy, i have now lost 36 pounds and feeling very chuffed with myself. I’ve given myself the target to lose 50lb in total. Although i feel proud of myself for forcing myself to gym 5 days a week i cant help but feel old and saggy and gross when i look at my naked body. Great teeth and boobs but i see my tummy and i feel deflated in my heart just how my belly looks really. I see my brothers girlfriend and her perfectly annoyingly toned perfect lithe gorgeous body and cant help but feel genuinely crap about myself. i find myself getting angry at my brother for bringing her around me. It’s not his fault. The stretch marks on my belly hurt my heart when i see them and these ‘you’ve earned those stripes tiger’ quotes can absolutely bugger off because i’ve got a scar big enough to share with ten women by my vagina and that is the only stripe i will wear with pride, and i think thats enough. The health visitor is urging me to get therapy to deal with my self image issue because i told her in confidence when she asked about self harming myself, i told her through snotty grizzling how much i detested my body and that yes id had images in my head of dying. But lets face facts…the only way i can deal with improving my self image is exercise and potentially winning a scratch card to pay for some laser on these horrid red marks. I’m not going to write a story about being proud of my marks because my daughter and my vaginal scar are enough proof of what i’ve done and been through. The truth is i am only a little bit happy. In public or late at night in the dark. The truth is i am only very unhappy when i see a reflection of a 22 year old girl with a saggy belly and stretchmarks. My story isn’t meant to be motivational or a cry for help or even attention. Its a moment of truth from my much longer story and if there is one woman in this country who feels similar to me, and i know i’m not the only one, that will be for some reason…comforting.

I am Age 22. Baby Girl is 12 weeks old today (July 10th Tuesday)
Please see attached/below photos. 4 weeks pregnant with baby Daddy, 8 months pregnant and my daughter 10 weeks old .

Finally gaining acceptance for my “mummy body!” (Sonja)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 2 Comments

Age: 20
Numer of pregnancies: 1
Number of children: 1
nearly 13 months postpartum

This website is awesome – finally somewhere I can share my feelings & get some understanding support! Ever since falling pregnant & having my son I’ve felt extremely isolated about my new “mummy body” & felt as if no-one understood me when it came to my body issues. I fell pregnant as the age of 18 & had my son when I was 19. Before having him I pretty much had the perfect body in my eyes & never ever had any issues with myself – that soon changed as the pregnancy pounds piled on! I put on 2 stone 9 pounds in total which doesn’t seem a lot but to me this was a major thing for me to deal with as I was always only just the right weight for my height. It’s taken me nearly 13 months to loose nearly all the pregnancy weight but I’m feeling so much better about myself & have started not getting so worked up over the fact that I don’t have that so-called perfect belly.

My main issue with my new body was my stretchies – I HATED them with a passion & I’ve been known to cry about them quite a bit too. I got them when I was 34 weeks pregnant & I got them on my boobs, my belly, my hips, my bum & all over my legs including the backs of my calves! Over time they have faded lots but to me they’re still quite a hang-up but thankfully I’m learning to accept them. Only a few months ago i managed to finally bare my legs out in public again which was a huge step for me. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to gain enough confidence to be able to wear a bikini again & I ahte those all in one swimming costumes but am still to concious of my belly to get it out in public. One of my favourite quotes that always cheers me up about my stretchies is: “Your body is not ruined – you’re a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes!” =D

I just wanted to share how I feel & share a few picture of my pregnant belly & how I am now so that other mummies who may be feeling the same as I have been know that they’re not alone & that in time they’ll be able to feel better about themselves & what-not.

Must say though, I wouldn’t change having my “mummy body” for the world as without it I wouldn’t have my gorgeous litlle boy & he’s by far worth every single mark I have & every single pound I gained! Love my son millions <3 =) xx pictures incuded - 8 week bump, 40 week+ overdue bump, nearly 13 months postpartum front view, nearly 13 months postpartum side view, me & my son Jakoby (photo taken by my lovely fiance) [gallery]

Wishing For Once In My Life I Could Have That Flat Belly Everyone Else Has! (Kylee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 9 Comments

Age: 22
Number of Pregnancies and Births: One Pregnancy and Birth
My Son’s Age: Almost 20 Months
Pre- Preg Weight : 150Lbs
Weight Post Partum : 165Lbs

Hello fellow Mommas! I am new to SOAM as of, well.. now. And Im so happy that I have found a place that I can come to and be myself.. You’re stories are absolutely empowering and I cant believe at how many other women are out there who feel the same way I do everyday!

Well, here it goes.. Before I got pregnant I was with my son’s father for 2 months but we had known each other for approx. 2 years prior to dating. I was about 150 lbs then, my stomach has never been flat ever in my life and i have always had that “pocket” as I would call it. Well during our relationship he would always call me beautiful and sexy, but then he would be texting the same things to his ex girlfriend. Well when I was 3 months pregnant, he was always going to see her and we were always fighting so I left to make life better for my unborn child when he arrived. My son’s fathers ex was a super sized woman when they dated but she had been working out and now is absolutely stunning with her flat tummy and great butt.. As you would guess, this made my esteem lower because clearly he would rather someone with that body type..

As I got bigger and more and more pregnant, he started telling me how fat I looked and how ugly my stretch marks were.. That I started hating myself before my son was even born. I ended up delivering at a hefty 198Lbs. I haven’t been with his father since I was 3 months pregnant and haven’t really had a boyfriend since then either. I feel alone all the time which causes me to be depressed. I feel like no one wants me because of the way I look. I cry every time I look into the mirror. I keep diet jumping or starving myself so that I wont be so ugly anymore. I just wish that someone (a man especially) would come into my life and sweep me off my feet and tell me religiously how beautiful my body is. It is so hard to feel beautiful when you cant even keep a boyfriend while looking the way you do..

Although I don’t like the way that I look right now, I’m sure that being on this site with all of you supportive and beautiful mama’s out there will assist me in gaining better self-esteem. Thank you so much for listening.

Pictures are as follows : Pre pregnancy , While pregnant, Right after birth (pajama pants) , Now(shorts) and (pantless) lol.., And then my beautiful son a couple days ago. <3 [gallery]