Pregnant

Gaining Confidence (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Vulva 11 Comments

I recently discovered SOAM and was happy to see a forum for discussing the changes women go through after childbirth. There seem to be a lot of younger women (20s) with beautiful bodies who post on this site, I wanted to share my story and pictures too. I’m 35 and have given birth to three children, with my recent child being born less than 6-months ago. I actually cried when we found it we were having our 3rd because I was finally happy with my body after our 2nd and the 3rd caught us by surprise. Now that we know we’re done having kids, I want to look the best that I can. I was worried about all aspects of my body: stomach, butt, boobs, and the taboo topic area (vagina/labia). I’ve been very self-conscious about my body, even though I’m back to my pre-baby weight of 125lbs. I just wish things were tighter than they are. My husband is very supportive and tells me frequently how good I look and how I turn him on. It’s nice to hear but I still miss my pre-baby body. Our sex life is still good too. I was worried what a 3rd vaginal delivery would do to me, but things still look the same down there and I can still orgasm like before. I’m posting these pictures, in part, to show other women what a women can look like after three pregnancies. My husband also encouraged me to post, telling me that I should be proud of how I look so soon after giving birth to our 3rd. Still nervous to submit but if you’re reading this…..I mustered up enough courage to hit the send button. Thanks.

Age: 35
Pregnancies/births: 3

080613-anon-1

More intimate photos here.

Here We Go Again (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 9 Comments

Round 2…. as the bell dings in my head im prepared to fight, unfortunately, my inner self on what most of us on here know as that little voice that says, ” your body is ruined now…look at all those stretch marks…do my boobs really hang that low…how is that even possible?” yes that dreaded post partum voice. It isn’t easy to get on here and to share how I really feel deep down.. that dark inner part of me I don’t want anyone to see. Because then they would see just how much I hate myself. Im scared of what this second pregnancy will bring..how many more stretch marks will I have..how much more will my boobs sag..will I have a stomach that will forever hang=??? I know it isn’t healthy and the thought of letting my loved ones in enough to see this hurt would worry them and why let others hurt along with me? This isnt their battle…so instead I will just share anon on here with all you beautiful woman. Whats sad is I look on here I get frustrated with these posts..I say to myself..”She has no reason to hate herself ..that body is beautiful..one of a womans!!” but who am I to say what these woman should hate or not? Lol not only do I have a deep self hate but clearly I am a pretty big hypocrite …(by now yall are probably thinking this woman shouldn’t be left to care for anyone lol) but all joking aside this website is my rock..well aside From God..i guess I should say my rock of selfishness, since im only focusing so hard on the outside. This is my pregnant body…I love it one day..hate it just the next.. I love the little life inside that im holding but hate the outside appearance and scared I will forever be a fat stretched saggy lump of skin that will turn away my husband to a greener (hotter) pasture. So with all this being said Thank you!! Tahnk you to everyone who has ever posted on here and the biggest thank you to woman who created it!!

Age : 25
Pregnancies : 2
Oldest child age : 6
Current pics right now are 6 months pregnant..

first one was CS and I will be having a CS with the second.

What Pregnancy Has Done (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 22
Children: 1 Child, 7 months old

Like most young ladies, I struggled with body image. It was the most severe when I was in middle school and my doctor made a comment about my weight being high. I was only 124 pounds, which was a healthy weight for my height. I ripped myself apart for the longest time. When I was 20, I met my husband. I weighed 120 pounds, at 5’2″. I knew I looked good, but I didn’t feel it. We planned our pregnancy and successfully conceived one month after we married. I embraced pregnancy because I finally had a reason to look bloated! I loved it so much, we are planning on a second pregnancy already.

I gained 20 pounds while I was pregnant, which is slightly below the 25-35 pounds of weight gain that is recommended for my body type. I was on track to gain 25-35, but I stopped gaining weight at 28 weeks because I lost my appetite. My baby boy, Finn, was born at 38 weeks and 1 day, weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces. I didn’t get a single stretch mark and my body snapped right back into shape. My friends called me a freak of nature and my neighbor told me that I am the kind of woman that other women hate.

Now, at 7 months postpartum, I am 5’2″ and 115 pounds. I have never been in better shape, and not only that, I’ve never had so much self confidence! There is nothing I did to get where I am today. I did not exercise during pregnancy or after pregnancy and I do not eat very well. I honestly believe that breastfeeding may even have had something to do with it.
My breastfeeding story is interesting, to say the least. I breastfed until Finnegan was 3 weeks old, completely stopped for 8 weeks, and decided to relactate when he was 10 weeks old. I pumped around the clock, took every supplement and drug I could get my hands on, and regained a full supply and our exclusively breastfeeding relationship within one month. My weight plateaued for a while until I relactated, when I lost an additional 5 pounds.

I feel like I get a lot of scrutiny because of my figure. People tell me that it isn’t fair or that it’s wrong. I believe that every woman has a shape, this just happens to be mine, and mine just happens to be one that society favors. Unfortunately that makes the women who have naturally different shapes feel that they are doing something wrong, or that they are not beautiful. All woman are beautiful, though! All mothers are beautiful. Every body is amazing. Just look at what you did with it; look at who you made. :) Pregnancy and childbirth are the most spectacular experience and the most incredible thing I have ever done!

The photos I have posted are of myself at full-term while pregnant with Finn, myself at 7 months postpartum, and my bouncing baby boy! Thank you for reading.

Trying to Feel Positive (Megan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Age:24
1 pregnancy, 1 birth
7 weeks postpartum

I am so thankful this site exists . The body shaming and unrealistic expectations put on appearance in our culture needs to end. All the same, I sometimes find it difficult to accept my new body.

All my life I loved my figure. I was thin with a flat stomach and a womanly hourglass shape. I didn’t even have to exercise. I felt sexy.

My husband and I felt all of the usual emotions when we found out I was pregnant; elation, nervousness, excitement, fear. My pregnancy was amazing. No morning sickness and a cute little baby bump. I felt great and I thought I was going to get away without stretch marks. Wrong! At 37 weeks they appeared. First, just a tiny one above my belly button and then one morning I woke up to find myself covered in the little purple bastards. I cried and felt like my body was ruined. I couldn’t have any clothing touching my belly without unbearable itching so the last 2.5 weeks of my pregnancy were pretty uncomfortable.

Our son was born on April 7th, 2013 weighing 7lbs 14oz. I gave birth to him completely drug free and I am so proud of myself. I didn’t tear so I didn’t need stitches and I was up walking around an hour after he was born. I felt completely back to normal by day 3. It was incredible. Our son is the most beautiful, amazing thing I’ve ever seen and I feel fortunate beyond words every time I look at him.

But my body. At first I thought, “Hey this really isn’t that bad” but now, 7 week later I’m starting to get pretty sick of it. The muffin top and the roll of fat that hang over my pants are not something I am used to and I don’t like looking at it. The stretch marks are distressing and my breasts…well I won’t even go into that.

But I grew a HUMAN BEING from nothing inside this body. That is amazing. This body was strong enough to bring a baby into this world with no pain medication and recovered from that trauma beautifully. My body is amazing.

It is perfect just the way it is but I still want to make some improvements. I’m excited to see what changes a few months of exercise will bring. Once again, this website is wonderful. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share these vulnerable feelings. Keep up the good work, hot mamas!

Pictures: Pre-pregnancy, 39 weeks, 6 weeks PP, my sweet baby boy

Made Me Even Stronger (Amanda)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 23
Number of pregnancies: 1 pregnancy/birth
Age of child: 18 days

I got pregnant in London during the Olympics last summer. It wasn’t planned, but we were both pretty excited when I came out of the bathroom six weeks later with two positive pregnancy tests.

I was very fortunate to not experience the continual nausea or vomiting throughout my pregnancy that a lot of women experience.
I kept up with my fitness (doubles beach volleyball, Ashtanga yoga, running 5ks, hiking) until I was six months pregnant. I slowed down to gentler yoga and walking, but I was still in good shape. I ate really clean because I knew that every single thing I put into my body would affect my baby, which made me even more disciplined to eat pure, whole foods. I ended up gaining 23-24 pounds by the time I delivered at 41 weeks and 4 days (I’m 5’9″ and weighed 145 lbs pre-pregnancy).

No stretch marks appeared until one month before my due date. I don’t hate them or hate my body because of them, but they’re so friggin’ dark that I wonder if they’ll ever fade.

I gave birth to my beautiful Ember on May 2, 2013 in a birth center in South Florida. I had a short, yet intense five-hour labor at home before driving to the birth center and being told by my midwife that I was fully dilated and ready to push. I couldn’t believe I had gone through all the stages of dilation at home (Ujjayi breathing really helped)! I thought surely as a first-time mom my labor would last at least 12 hours. Upon hearing the great news, I stripped down naked and told the midwife I wanted to push in the bathtub. Fifteen to 20 minutes later, my baby was born. She came out perfect in every way.

I attribute my smooth labor and delivery to staying fit and healthy throughout my pregnancy. I did end up having a second-degree tear on my perineum and I know my vagina will never look the same, but let’s be honest, our babies are worth whatever “damage” happens to our bodies. I lost 20 lbs after giving birth, but I’m not worried about my weight. All of my energy is focused on feeding my baby and fueling my body with enough healthy foods to do so. I know that I will eventually get back into shape once my stitches heal.

I always considered myself a “strong” woman, but now I feel like I’m even stronger. It sounds so cheesy, but I know that if I can push a 7lb 4oz baby out of me without any sort of medical intervention or drugs, I can do anything.

Pictures: At the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, 39 weeks pregnant, just after birthing my daughter, my little Ember, my stretch marks two weeks postpartum.

My Beautiful Scars (Taylor)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Pregnant 9 Comments

My name is Taylor. I am 21 years old and currently pregnant with my first child. From the day I found out I was pregnant I used lotions and creams to prevent any marks from appearing on my body. I got my first stretch mark at 20 weeks. It was all downhill from there. Everyone else that was pregnant around me would post pictures of their beautiful bare baby bumps and I was ashamed to show anyone my stomach. I was even embaressed when my husband looked at me. He always tells me I am beautiful and I just wince because I never felt that way. I am learning that there is something extremely beautiful in the marks I carry with me. I am bringing a beautiful life into this world, and I will never have a perfect body, but I have a husband who loves me and I will soon have a baby to make it all worth it. I have never shown anyone but my husband my stomach but I feel its time to stop hiding my beautiful scars and share them with women who know how I feel. This site has made me not ashamed to let my tiger stripes show! Thank you!

Ambivalent Body Image – Struggling (Alanna)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Spousal/Partner Abuse, Submissions 15 Comments

Age: 24
1 pregnancy & 1 child
3 year old child

I want to start this off by saying that I have been following SOAM for a couple years now and never felt confident enough to submit my photos. I was in a very unhealthy relationship for 9 yrs with the father of my child. Just before I became pregnant, I was in the best shape of my life, I had never been more confident with my body image. I am a Martial Arts instructor. My pregnancy was extremely stressful, I had a partner who was abusing drugs and other non sense. I’m 5’2 and I weighed 130lbs before I got pregnant. At 9 months with my 8lb baby girl I weighed 185lbs. I wasn’t exercising during my pregnancy and could have been eating in a more healthy way. I wanted to have a natural delivery, but had to have an emergency C-section since my daughter was breech. After delivery, I was so unhappy with my body and i was still in an toxic relationship. I may have been suffering from PPD but I’m too proud for my own good most of the time and felt guilty telling the truth when i was assessed for PPD. I struggled with the pregnancy weight all through the first 2 years, I’m very active but I had to take control of my diet to get to where I am now.

I still feel like I am hiding. No one would believe it when I seem to be the most confident, bubbly and bad ass ( am I allowed to say bad ass on SOAM? Editor’s note: Hell yes you are!) lady that have ever met but I put on a good show. In actuality, my insecurities could eat me alive. My life has changed a lot in the past year as I got out of an abusive relationship and have been trying to find myself again after those 9 years. I just completed my first year of university. I’m a over achiever and a perfectionist, nothing is ever good enough for me. I am getting honors in school but its not good enough. I would consider myself a feminist and I am very aware of the false messages prescribed by the media to men and women concerning what the ideal body image is. I can think about it logically and I have great respect to the women who can take a stand against it but emotionally with myself, inside my own head I cant do it.

I guess I have my good days and my really bad ones. Some days I feel like it is getting better and I’m regaining my muscle definition. Its not my stretch marks that bother me but my loose skin and extra fat does. Everyday I run at least 3 miles and exercise, on top of my martial arts training and some days I feel like I’m seeing progress and other days I cant beat my naked self up in front of the mirror at least 4 times a day. I can take forever to get dressed, trying on pants after pants and hating how my tummy sticks out over top. I count calories obsessively and feel guilty if I don’t run far enough. I want exercise and diet to be a choice of health and not trying to achieve this aesthetic perfection.

Who would think a topless rights activist would be standing nude infront of her mirror eaten alive by her insecurities?

Does it Make Me a Failure? (Jamie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 3 Comments

Age:19
Pregnancies and births: 1
10 weeks postpartum

I became pregnant when I was 18. I was told by doctors when I was younger that it would be difficult for me to conceive, and of I were to conceive, it would be a high risk pregnancy. I was so happy to find out i was pregnant, so was my fiancee and my family. I felt so feminine, so beautiful, i felt like a real woman. My fiancee and i both enjoyed watching my body change. I did everything right. I quit smoking 100%, i didn’t have a single drop of alcohol, i think the worse thing i did was have a second bowl of ice cream at 2 in the morning :). But man did i get huge. I gained 65lbs! Mainly all belly though. I went into labor at 38 weeks and 1 day. I went to the hospital with suspicion that i was leaking amniotic fluid however i wasn’t having contractions. Turned out i was right. So the doctors decided to induce me. They started the pitocin, i wasn’t too happy about that to begin with, but i went along with it. They had me on the lowest setting and my uterus was becoming overstimulated, i had no rest time between contractions. So they would stop and start the pitocin and for 19 hrs i was stuck at 3cm dilated, 50% effaced, and -3 station. This baby just dis mot want to come! The doctor told me it was time for a c-section. I broke down in tears! I wanted so badly to give birth vaginally. I was so scared. I could hardly stay awake in the operating room. I was so drugged up, i was afraid i would miss my daughter’s first cries. Lucky my fiancee was able to keep awake and i didn’t miss it. It was like music to my ears. When i was finally able to hold her, I wanted to immediately start breast feeding so I could start the bonding process since I missed out on the vaginally birthing experience. But there was a problem, she wouldn’t latch. We tried everything, and she just wouldn’t nurse off of me. I felt like I failed. Like I was less of a woman because my body couldn’t do the two main things a woman’s body should be able to do, give birth and feed her own child. I slipped into a very deep depression. I couldn’t bond, I couldn’t connect to this beautiful baby I kept safe inside me for 9 months. The bond I had with her in the womb I felt was slowly disappearing. There were no more kicks, no more hiccups, no more awkward bulges on one side of my belly. Instead I had a painful scar, a body that I once thought was beautiful, now I thought was ugly, and a child that I couldn’t feel was really my child. Then once I realized how terrible I was feeling, I would feel even more guilt for thinking that way! I’m so thankful that I have my fiancée. He noticed I was depressed and he encouraged me to talk to him. Once I opened up and stopped holding it all in, I suddenly felt better and immediately was able to bond with our daughter. He reassures me that my body is still beautiful. I now take things day by day one step at a time. I feel like I have a strong bond with my daughter. Her smile makes my heart melt and instantly makes me forget about how she was born and I forget about my body. She changed my life and I would do anything for her. That’s why I got help for my depression. A happy mother is a happy baby, and a happy baby is a happy family. Hayleigh Lynn Schulz born feb 8, 2013 8lbs 4oz 19 1/2 inches long.

First Pregnancy and Postpartum Body Changes (Jamie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I was one of those women who “knew” the moment they were pregnant.. I was more than ecstatic. It sounds crazy, but I think I felt the moment the baby implanted. I used a pregnancy test that day, waited the 5 or so minutes, saw one line and threw it in a drawer. When I found it a day or two later, there was a second line. I thought it must have been an evap line but decided to test to be sure. Sure enough, positive.. a day before I was even supposed to start my cycle. But, pregnancy felt like torture to me, I never became acclimated to it, and my “cute” bump phase ended quickly. I waited and waited for that “glow” and never got it. I was thrilled to be expecting, but not very educated about all the changes my body would experience. I have always had self esteem and body issues, so growing in size ate away at my confidence. I had a lengthy period of time where you could not tell I was pregnant and not just pudgy/fat. I only ever gained the recommended 35 pounds, but on my short frame, that meant everything was thicker. My face, arms, butt, breasts and, of course, belly. I managed to avoid stretch marks on my belly with generous use of baby oil and by not scratching. I didn’t even think to do this on my butt and breasts, which now have stretch marks, but none too terrible. I delivered a healthy, beautiful, incredibly smart (mother’s pride shining through) baby girl at 37 weeks 5 days after a complication free pregnancy. Went in seeking a natural birth, got talked in to pitocin (to “speed up” my labor) which lead to an epi. Birth aside, I’ve made it back to pre-pregnancy weight about 3 or 4 months post partum. I am now 5 months pp and have maintained the weight. All weight lost simply by breastfeeding and only eating when I’m hungry. My confidence post partum is exponentially greater. After seeing my body go through all those changes during pregnancy, I have a much bigger respect for it. I believe I went through the opposite of post-partum depression – post partum elation. Despite being at pre-preg weight, there are noticeable/permanent changes: my hips are larger, my tummy is no longer flat, my breasts are great when full and saggy when empty – a whole cup size larger (from small b to small c, sometimes full c). Breasts are veiny now, not sure if that will go away after I stop breastfeeding. My areolas are MUCH larger and more brown than before, also uneven. I will be content to tone up my tummy and work some of this extra hip off. Even though I may not look as I did before, I’m quite happy with my body. Recently someone told me who had not seen me since a year prior to my pregnancy: “You don’t look like a little girl anymore! You look like a woman!” And that’s how I feel, like a Real Woman.

Your Age:23, 22 at time of pregnancy
Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy (so 1 birth)
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 5 months post partum/5 month old

My body before, during, and after. (Lindsie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 4 Comments

I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 and wore a size 12-14 in jeans. My whole pregnancy was easy no morning sickness, no stretch marks. Nothing. Until the last month then my stretch marks came.I had my little boy all 8lbs 2oz and 22 1/2 in of him naturally. The day after I had him I thought to myself I look great! This getting back to pre pregnancy size will be easy! As the months went on I realized its not that easy. I gained almost 80lbs while I was pregnant. So far I’ve lost about 40lbs of it. I look at myself in the mirror and no I don’t look perfect, no I don’t particularly like my stretchmarks and my baby belly. But then I look at my beautiful little boy and its all worth it. Every mark, every pound, every change in my body, everything. My son is now 6 months old, I wear a size 16 jeans, and no I don’t look perfect but I am an awesome mom and thats all that matters :) The first picture is at 34 weeks pregnant, the second is my little boy and the last few are my body 6 months after giving birth.