Pregnant

I Feel Like a Woman Now, 20lbs Heavier (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

I have always been a rather thin girl. Perhaps bordering pre-pubescent. I was never one to be hit on or even complimented. Instead I got the, “omg do you need help. Lets get her to a clinic right away.” Standing 5’7″, I was 130 lbs pre-pregnancy and wore a size 7. I had a fairly easy pregnancy until the last 10 weeks and managed to pack on 75 lbs. I was miserable and so swollen I couldnt even wear sandals. I guess this is what the expression barefoot and pregnant is referring to haha. Immediately after I had my son via emergency C section, I was 186, by the time I got home 10 days later due to complications I was 165. And there it sat, for over a month. The scale did not want to budge no matter what I did. So I stopped worrying about it, donated all my old clothes and treated myself to some new pieces that were made for my new size and shape. Today, 3 months postpartum I am 150lbs and wearing a size 11. When I first came home from the hospital I cried. My body was never going to be the same, but then this strange thing happened. I felt womanly for the first time in my life. No longer am I being looked at and treated like a 13 year old girl. No longer does my husband feel like he’s a pedophile (ok, maybe this is just my strange sense of humor talking). I LOVE looking in the mirror and seeing curves. Real live curves. I feel sexy, I feel womanly. I feel like people look at me and respect me as a mother. I am thankful for this extra weight.
Yeah, I do have plenty of stretch marks and that lovely flap of skin over my incision but my advice to all ladies struggling with your new bodies is: Give it time. The more you love yourself the better you will look. Don’t aim to fit into your old pants. Dress for the body you have now.

First Picture: 40 weeks pregnant
2nd pic: 39 weeks pregnant_front
3rd pic: 9 days post partum
4th pic: 3 months post partum
5th pic: My son at 3 days old
6th pic: My son at 3 months oldI Feel Like a Woman Now, 20lbs Heavier

The Best Thing About My Pregnancy is That it’s Over (I.L.)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 6 Comments

Age: 30
Pregnancies and births: 1/1, my toddler is now 22 months old. I got pregnant a few weeks before my 28th birthday.

Pregnancy and birth have not changed my body that much on the outside. I have a hypertrophic-but-fading lower segment cesarean scar on my belly right above the pubic bone, a few stretch marks I got the day I
went into labour and don’t tend to notice anymore because they have faded, slightly more deflated small-ish breasts (mine were never particularly perky to begin with) and the skin on my belly is the tiniest bit more stretched than it used to be. Bar the cesarean scar that changes colours from silvery white to angry red when I’m on my period or ovulating (!) none of the changes are that noticeable. I gained 25 kg (55 lbs) or thereabouts during pregnancy and have lost most of that slowly during the last 22 months without dieting for
weight loss.

I lift weights and stay physically active for strength, for fun, for the sheer joy of it, and because I want to feel at one with my flesh instead of viewing myself through a distorted lens of body obsession; I don’t avoid pointless self criticism always, but I do try hard to do so. Mostly I’m fine. I enjoy cooking, eating, planning meals, dining out, eating mindfully and with great pleasure. This, to me, means I try to get in enough protein to sustain muscle growth, generally although not always opt for cooking my own food to know what’s in it,
and avoiding gluten whenever possible (it makes my reflux worse) — but I don’t generally worry much about what I put in my mouth, except in terms of whether the taste would benefit from adding more butter.
:-)

Life is enjoyable and I feel good being myself. The way I try to (and often do) view myself and my body, the way I talk about myself and other women, the way I enjoy my physicality, these are all gifts I want to give to my daughter, but I’m not doing them only because I want to be a good role model to her. I am doing them because they’re right and sane and wholesome. I can appreciate myself without needing to think it’s for the sake of my daughter; it is, but more importantly it’s for me.

My pregnancy, a completely different story. It was a crapshot — we weren’t supposed to be able to conceive the natural way but somehow did — and crappy besides: I had a psychotic episode in the first
trimester, then heartburn, reflux, sciatica, insomnia, and as the cherry on top of this cake a UTI/kidney infection and hydronephrosis (distended kidneys) of pregnancy for which I was hospitalised for four days by the end of the second trimester. I spent the last three months of my pregnancy on my left side or on all fours, drinking the vile swill prescribed by my urologist: unsweetened cranberry juice and water, at least three to four litres of this per day. I was told I should pee whenever I felt the slightest urge to for fear of urinary backflow, which meant I was running to the loo four times every hour, also in the nights. It took several months for my bladder sensation to return fully after delivery. I had no issues with incontinence before or after pregnancy, but I did suffer from not knowing whether my bladder was full or not, as the pee-as-often-as-possible-just-in-case regime removed my capacity to recognise when I actually need to go.

Then I had a baby, which meant three days of labour. I didn’t mind the pain, as I found it easy enough to relax between contractions once I hit real labour and as I was very dedicated to seeing things through
the natural way if at all possible. Turns out this wasn’t to be the case, and I had cesarean surgery… with insufficient anesthesia, as I could feel a little window of pain on the left side when they cut. Not my best moment. Afterwards, the dragon nurse at the maternity ward told me — screamed at me, really — that paracetamol (acetaminophen for North Americans) is perfectly sufficient as a pain killer for post-cesarean pain and that other women have also had cesareans, why do I complain and cry so? I was not happy with my cesarean but could eventually came to terms with it. Being denied appropriate pain relief afterwards however meant I had severe problems with PTSD for more than a year postpartum. I also felt let down by my partner who couldn’t grasp the severity of the situation until way after the fact, and still feel deep sadness and anger over what happened. At least I’m no longer reliving my horrible birth experience and over and over, unable to sleep or go out for fear of breaking down in public.

It also took me quite a long time to bond with my baby, but I did expect this and wasn’t actually too alarmed when I didn’t feel a huge surge of love for my newborn. Frankly I wasn’t particularly interested in her when they showed her to me in the operating theatre — in my defense, I had other more pressing problems at hand, like feeling really awfully sorry for myself and wanting to die — and my strongest emotions in the first weeks after her birth were mild interest and confusion. Love, that took a while to arrive. I started out breastfeeding as I had planned to do, as all the women in my family had done, and we had a few miserable months of it because of thrush on my nipples, which I likely got from the antibiotics given to me during
the cesarean birth of my daughter. Healthcare professionals were a joke when it came to nursing support and/or medical help with this, but I persevered and did my research online, sent my partner out for a
bottle of gentian violet and put myself and my baby on a kill-the-yeasties regime. It worked, and we’re still going strong with breastfeeding 22 months after her birth. I expected to be done by now — I nursed for 15 months myself and thought we’d go to a similar length — and I am starting to feel like I’m ready to wean in the not-too-far future, but I know my daughter is not and so I’m merely working on limiting the frequency of her nursing sessions to a few times per day to avoid maternal burn out. She’ll wean when she’s ready to; I can wait.

I did not feel a strong need to procreate before I had my daughter. We were undecided, thinking “maybe in a few years” when we found out my partner has Homer Simpson sperm and is unlikely to have a child the
natural way. We dropped contraceptives immediately after hearing about this, reasoning that a) life will be so much easier when we don’t have to bother with solutions that aren’t working that well for us (cervical cap + spermicides = raging yeast infections for the both of us, condoms were not particularly comfortable for him, and hormonal methods are too likely to make me batshit crazy, or crazier than I usually am in any case) and b) if we end up somehow making a child, wouldn’t that be the luckiest, rarest, weirdest, most wonderful thing
ever? I got pregnant before a year had passed. Now, after having that one child, I find I have a bad case of the baby rabies… only, the idea of pregnancy (and finding a qualified nurse-midwife who does homebirths in my area AND has a personality that doesn’t clash with mine) makes me reach for a paper bag to breathe into.

I don’t often think of life in terms of lucky vs unlucky, but I do when it comes to pregnancy and birth. There, I was dealt a bad hand. I’m not sure I have it in myself to go through it again, particularly when I know my kidney issues are very likely to also be an issue in a future pregnancy. I’m aware of and educated on great many issues surrounding birth, I am not easily cowed by anyone, I have the wisdom from experience, the support of my fantastic partner and a lot of different options with pre/postnatal and childbirth care thanks to
where I live … and I’m really scared, because while all these factors would and will contribute towards not having unnecessary medical interventions done before, during or after childbirth, they will do absolutely nothing if and when there IS a real medical need for such. I would know. And I’m not sure I’m mentally strong enough to deal with the anxiety and uncertainty, nevermind the medical issues present, on the next round.

Really, the best thing about my pregnancy is that it’s over.

The photos included: myself 22 months postpartum twice, my toddler nursing her teddy bear in the middle of Ikea, myself looking for braaaaains! at 37 weeks pregnant, myself at the age of 25 before pregnancy.

If only I loved myself as much as I love my life… (Miss Meliss)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 18 Comments

I really do have a wonderful life. I have a beautiful son, a loving husband, a supportive mother, a best friend of almost 30 years. I am a student-nurse. I live in a nice, modern home. I drive a decent car. I have a dog, 2 cats and some fish. I laugh often, I love constantly. I do not want for anything…except my old body back. I am not a fan of what has become of Melissa. Matter of fact, I am completely devastated by how my body has changed. I am not ashamed of who I am, I am just tortured by the way I look. Writing this essay makes me queasy. The thought of attaching a photo? Downright nauseating. I cant look at myself in the mirror…and when I cast that fleeting glance, I think, “That is not me.”

Most of my life I considered myself fat. Key phrase being “I considered myself fat”. No one else ever thought I was. Matter of fact, most considered me rather shapely and thin. I am 5’8 and now 205lbs. And I detest what I look like. I have had BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) since my very early teens. I decided to journal to this site because I know I am not alone, that I am a garden variety postpartum mom, and I want to ease the hearts of other women as they have done for me. And while I am sickened by my physique, I am enamored by my life. I just wish I could figure out how to meld the two and accept myself for who I am and not by my size or how much I weigh. It has affected many aspects of my life. My self-esteem, my sexual attitudes, my style, my grooming…I just don’t feel like “me” and I really, really want to. I just seem to be preoccupied with my weight. I compare myself to every woman, and it just makes me feel worse. I don’t care to dress nicely or fix my make-up or hair. I don’t even care if I match. I want to draw the least bit of attention to myself. But then I look at my son…and none of that matters. And when my son is with me, attention is what we catch…and lots of it. I can make him laugh and smile, he had bonded to me like glue. He looks into my eyes and I know I am beautiful, because he sees the truth. He sees me with no judgement, none of the much influenced, unattainable norms. He sees Mommy…and he loves what he sees.
I gain 76 pounds with my angel. I weighed in at 238lbs on the day I had my C-section. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I dropped all of the years of dieting. I just let it go. I wanted to be able to eat copious amounts of whatever I wanted…and I did. And the doc never complained. Since I had started at a much meeker weight, no one really seemed to notice the scale (but they did remark on how rotund I was becoming with each passing month!) My little man entered the world kicking and screaming at a healthy 9lbs 9oz and 22inches long! He was a big’un. I was so swollen and distended antepartum that by the end of the second week I had lost 25lbs. And what was leftover was not nearly as “cute” as when he was still riding shotgun. I never got any postpartum complications. I didn’t even have any antepartum issues either. I had a wonderful, easy pregnancy. For the first time in my life I was able to live a life free of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. It felt good to be anticipating the arrival of my son. It felt marvelous to have my son. Every moment that I have spent with him has been the best moments of my life. While I long for the body of yesterday (er, yesteryear…) I wouldn’t trade in this body for the world. Without my fat, flabby, uncomfortable-in-my-own-skin body…I wouldn’t have the single most amazing treasure on earth. I love being a mommy. I love waking up to seeing his smiling, happy, exuberant little face. I love hearing the raspy, melodic and curious jibber-jabber. I adore that laugh. Oh my oh my, that laugh. And those two little teeth he has? Pure joy. I love how total strangers compliment his handsomeness. I love how people walk over
to me and tell me how wonderful of a mother I am…or they say my favorite, “That boy sure loves his mommy!” I have followers on my facebook, people who have never met us, that look forward to seeing my happy, sweet boy. I love when my mother hugs me and says to me: “You are beautiful, and you are the best mother I have ever seen…” And I know she means this. And I know she wishes I could just see the beauty in me. While I can take all the compliments and praise…I just don’t feel pretty anymore. I often say that if I could lose the weight “I’d have a perfect life”. Something I never thought I would ever have. My son has completed me, I just need that itsy bitsy complement. But, I will wait for it…I’m trying not to rush it. After seeing all you ladies post pictures and stories, I feel a bit better. I feel like a little breath can be taken, and a little pat on the back to congratulate me on my acceptance into the “Mommy Club”. Where great women come in all sizes. Where strong women have the right to complain. Where valiant women are awarded with the utmost love and admiration. If only I could just get back to me.

Age: 33
1 pregnancy 1 birth
10 months PP

Pictures 1,2 and 3 are me, 10m PP.
Pictures 4 and 5 are me pregnant
Picture 6 is me and my boy

My body has changed, but I feel better with myself. (Silvia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 27
Nr. of pregnancies and births: 1-1
Age of my baby girl: 3 months

When I learned I was pregnant, I tried a mix of emotions, fear, happiness, surprise … I thought it was a miracle, because I thought I could not get pregnant due to some problems. I was frightened by the thought of giving birth, the change of my body. I always used to be slim, with breasts not too big but very nice. Let’s be sincere, a woman is always asking what will happen to its appearance after pregnancy. Day after day I began to see the changes, the larger belly, the breast as well, the pink nipples become almost blacks and larger … but it is true, the thought of having a life inside you is stronger than everything. I had a caesarean because of eye problems. Julia was born May 23, 2011, and was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen until then. In the end I did not care how my body would be, but I prayed to hear the words “your baby is healthy.” I was lucky, I have to admit .. After less than a month already I was almost like before, and after 3 months as before. I chose to breastfeed, at the beginning it was hard, but now it’s been three months julia just takes my milk. My breast has changed, it’ s different than before, but I do not care, I now have a new priority … and everything else, including me, has gone into the background …

Learning to Be (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Eating Disorder, Homebirth, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 6 Comments

My story starts in high school when I first started (unknowingly) with anorexia for a couple years. Fast forward to age 21. I got pregnant with my first. I was a healthy weight and honestly didn’t think about weight at that point in my life. I had a healthy baby girl that I had at home. I was happy and ate A LOT! I gained about 20lbs between my first and my second daughter. When I was 25 I was pregnant with my second daughter. Again, it was a beautiful homebirth. She was 10 pounds and did a number to my body! I got a lot of stretch marks but I was ok with it for the most part. At this point I thought I was done having my kids. I had 2 amazing daughters. After my second was born all I did was eat! My weight skyrocketed to 170lbs! I had gotten family vacation pictures back and realized just how heavy and out of shape I was so I decided to do something about it. I dieted. I was good at it! I lived at the gym and counted every morsel of calories that went in to my mouth. In that time I divorced my husband and kept on losing, and losing and losing….. another bout with anorexia. I thought I had in under control but no matter how thin I got I always felt I could be thinner. About 4 years after I divorced I reconnected with an old friend and we fell in love. He is an amazing man. I was upfront from the beginning that I struggled with anorexia and he supported me no questions asked. We were married a year later and in that time I had gotten very sick. I could barely walk and function as human. I was not the mother I wanted to be. My wedding day I weighed a mere 100lbs and I’m 5’10”. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to walk down the aisle I was so weak. Not only did I vow to love my husband through richer or poorer, I vowed to be there in sickness and in health and I promised I would get healthy again. The week after my honeymoon I did just that. It was the worst, hardest experience of my life. I gained 40lbs in just 1.5 months. Over the course of the next 6 months I gained another 10. I was miserable and depressed but in that time we realized something, we wanted a baby of our own. 3 days after deciding we were pregnant. It was a miracle because doctors weren’t sure if I could have kids again. 9 months and 30lbs later we had a 8lb 12oz baby girl at home.

I’ve been struggling with old habits. I’m trying to lose the baby weight the healthy way. I struggle with body image. By 8 weeks I had lost all the baby weight (30lbs) and now at 13 weeks postpartum I am 6 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. I still feel like I have a ways to go but I am learning acceptance and love for my body. It’s got stretch marks and my belly is a pile of loose skin. My boobs are huge and uncomfortable and my butt is nothing but cellulite but you know what? I’m ok with it. I have a loving husband and 3 amazingly beautiful daughters. I have been blessed in this life. I have lived through anorexia and I can now be a positive role model for my girls.

Pregnancy is a trip and what it does to your body is an even bigger trip but it’s a small price to pay for what you get out of it!

Age: 36
Number of births: 3 homebirths
Age of children: 14, 10, 3 months

1st picture: after 2 pregnancies anorexic but still kind of healthy
2nd picure: 9 months pregnant with 3rd daughter
3rd picture: 13 weeks postpartum

Genetics is Everything (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 14 Comments

I am 31 years old, my little one was born about 15 month ago, in May, 2010. Before my pregnancy my belly was absolutely flat, I was so proud of it. Although we needed c-section, because my baby’s head did not find its way out and my doctor did not want to risk anything after the water broke, my uterus became relatively small right after the delivery. Fortunately my skin could retain its flexibility, too, so unless one stares at my belly so closely, it is not obvious that I have a son.

Although I feel and know that my body is not exactly the same anymore (there are some tiny white stripes around my waist; there is a little bit more skin on my belly than there should be and in a way I am wider than I was before), those who do not see me naked cannot tell that I have already been pregnant.

I feel so lucky that I take after my mother, who has two children and still looks amazing. Thanks Mum, I love you!

No of pregnancies and births: 1

Pic 1: The change that 37 weeks of pregnancy brought
Pic 2: My belly from my perspective in the 37th week
Pic 3: My belly after 6 weeks
Pic 4: The scar after 6 weeks
Pic 5: After 15 weeks in clothes ;)

38 Weeks and Growing (Katie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 15 Comments

Hi all! I love this website as I have always been so curious to see what other pregnant bellies look like. It is so fascinating to see the many different ways we grow as women during our pregnancy journeys. I agree with the philosophy of the woman who created this site, that the changes motherhood bring should no longer be kept a secret, rather celebrated. It is also so refreshing to see women band together to support one another with kind words. This is my second pregnancy, I am 38 weeks pregnant in this photo and at the point of feeling like I’m ready to deliver. I live in a very hot hot hot climate so going outdoors has become a challenge- plus I have a 3 year old little monster to chase! I will include that I am 5’8” and prepreg. weight was 128-ish, now I’m 160. I will definitely include a postpartum update with photos. Good luck to all of you!

~Age: 33
~Number of pregnancies and births: second pregnancy
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: this is my second child, I have a 3 year old daughter

3 Months After 3rd Child (Kristin)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 10 Comments

Previous entries here, here and here.

I have posted here after i had my first child and again after my second. I have since then had another baby. I am going to be 24 in a few months, My first is my son who is 3.5 years old now, My daughter is 2 years old and my youngest is also a girl who is 3 months old. I usually start my weight around 105-115lbs, and by the time i deliver i am around 138-140lbs. My 3rd child was born in April weighing 8lbs 5oz’s, she was heavier then my first daughter who was 7lbs 15ozs, but ligher then my son who was 8lbs 9ozs. My weight right now at 3 months postpartum is 115lbs(i’m 5foot4), which i am happy with on most days, my goal weight is anywhere between 110-115lbs.. Things have been good here, I have my days where i am depressed about my body but i try not to let it get me down, tho it can be hard on some days. I have to contunie telling myself that i look good after having 3 kids, some days i believe it, other days i dont. My husband is always saying i am beautiful and sexy, thats all i should care about, as long as he finds me sexy that should be good enough right? but i cant help how i feel some days. I am getting better i think on my body image but i still have hard days, but i need to get over it, i have 3 beautiful kids and a loving husband. And i need to raise my girls to love themselfs no matter what, and for my son to know this is how mommies look..they may have marks but they are beautiful:)

All you ladies are beautiful, i wish one day we would all feel it. Thanks again Bonnie

1st pic(pink top/jeans)34weeks pregnant with my 3rd, 2nd pic(with brown dress)40 weeks with 3rd child. 3rd,4th,5th,6th,7th-3months postpartum. 8th pic-My baby girl 3 months. 9th pic-My other 2 babies with Daddy :)

Suddenly Androgynous! (Jan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

1 Pregnancy
1 Child, eight months old

My name is Jan. I am 25 years old and I am currently eight months postpartum. Before my husband and I even started trying to get pregnant, I was concerned about what might happen to my body. I had always been slim, my tummy flat, and my breasts were proportionate to my body.
We got pregnant quickly, which we were so thankful for.
Pregnancy agreed with me, I loved my fuller breasts, and my growing belly became even more special when I began feeling my baby’s movements. I still miss feeling the little hiccoughs.

I went into labour two days before my due date and progressed quickly at the hospital. Then unexpectedly, I stalled out at nine centimetres. My doctor wanted me to push, in an effort to thin out the last bit of rim on my cervix. This didn’t work, even after an hour of trying. So I gave in and got the epidural- the hope was that it would help me relax- and then successfully finished dilating. But my babe wouldn’t budge! I pushed for another hour to no avail. At last I gave birth with the assistance of forceps. It was the most intense ten minutes of my life. I had a beautiful baby girl weighing in at 7 lbs, 14 oz.

About two days after her birth, I really noticed my milk coming in. My breasts ballooned to a D cup. I actually enjoyed the leaking of milk. I loved breastfeeding too, the oxytocin made me blissful. My little girl was such a wonderful eater. I had some soreness in my nipples but after a few days it was gone, and I was enjoying the very rewarding experience of nourishing my child from my body.

Around five months of age, my baby girl began crying more than we expected. I had been noticing my breasts didn’t leak anymore and didn’t seem as full either. Soon we realized she wasn’t getting enough to eat.
I rented an electric breast pump and began pumping as much as I could to try to stimulate more production. I battled with it for a month and then decided to try a prescription to increase my prolactin hormone. The pills worked for sure, but my husband noticed I was becoming depressed. I would cry several times a day over nothing, insisting I wasn’t a good mother. I got angry with him easily and said and did hurtful things when that is not in my nature at all.
Together we decided that I shouldn’t take the pills anymore, so I breastfed as much as I could but supplemented with formula. Slowly but surely I could see that my production was coming to an end altogether.

Now my daughter is eight months old and she is formula fed (solids now, too). It has been about a month to six weeks since she breastfed. I miss nursing her. Her baby smell mixed with that sweet breast milk smell was intoxicating. Now I feel that she doesn’t need me in the same way she once did. Of course she still needs me, I’m her mother after all… but the breastfeeding was something only I could provide. It was my excuse to have my baby all to myself.

I have been feeling badly about my body. I am 108 lbs now. That is six pounds less than when I got pregnant. I know there are women out there struggling to lose the baby weight, struggling to love the extra skin and stretch marks. A lot of women wouldn’t want to hear me complain about my body I’m sure. But I actually felt more beautiful at 39 weeks pregnant (I weighed 142 lbs at that point). Even a couple of weeks postpartum when my tummy was squishy and still had the dark lines on it, I felt like more of a woman. I felt beautiful. I couldn’t wait to heal and make love to my husband again, wanting him to enjoy my more womanly figure too.
Now I am a cup size smaller than I was pre pregnancy. I am thin, I am boyish. I often wonder if my husband is still attracted to me- with my small, sagging breasts… that really don’t have much mass anymore. They seem more like hanging pieces of skin.

And yet, I know that I need to love my body. What an amazing accomplishment, to be pregnant and to give birth, and to feed my baby from my body. Sure, I looked “better” pre pregnancy, but my body had never accomplished anything so incredible before. Despite wishing I looked more like my “old self”, I now respect my body more.

1st Photo- Eight months post partum
2nd Photo- 38 weeks pregnant

45 pounds up, 40 pounds down. learning to love my new body… saggy skin and all! (Ruth)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

25 years old, first (and only) pregnancy, cesarean, baby boy
Pre-pregnancy weight: 110 lbs. (best shape of my life!)
Weight gained in pregnancy: 45 lbs.
Current Weight at one year postpartum: 115 lbs (5 lbs to go!)

Before baby, I was working out sometimes 2 hours a day (don’t worry, I ate a lot to make up for it!) and as I continued in my pregnancy, all the things I used to do (I ran, swam, biked, yoga-ed, weights, pretty much anything and everything) went by the wayside and all I could do was walk and swim the last few months of my pregnancy. I continued to eat what I wanted and craved which was mostly healthy, but still A LOT to pack onto my small 5′ 1″ frame.

After some craziness (20 hours of labor), the little guy was suffering too much to go through more labor and I had a c-section. I wish I had done a better job to mentally prepare myself for it, because it was a SHOCK. 6 weeks I could basically do nothing, not even carry my baby in his carrier. Even though I was working full time as an art teacher at the local high school, I set about for 530am workouts to lose the weight. I breastfed/pumped for 8 months. Even with the stress of working full time, I lost just about all of it within 7 months and was so happy!!!

BUT…. nobody told me what would happen to my body and I was in for a HUGE shock. When people told me my bikini days would be behind me, I told them of course it wouldn’t be, in my mind, if I lost the weight (ate right, and worked out REALLY hard), everything should go back to normal, right??? wrong.

Then someone pointed me to this site.
And I was humbled. And left in awe. Some of these women have bodies that were so much more affected than mine.
And yet these bodies really are beautiful. This site is wonderful and I just wanted to add my voice to it.

I wish someone would have sat me down and told me a few things.
And if there are any other pre-baby girlies out there who are in need of some post-baby advice:

1) Its a LOT of work to get back to your pre-baby figure, but it is MUCH easier if you are in good shape BEFORE you get pregnant (I won’t be getting pregnant again till I lose those last 5 pounds!)
2) Breastfeeding is a GREAT way to burn more calories… but be forwarned that it will make you SUPER hungry 24/7
3) If you eat well and work out, your body may go down to size within 9 months (9 months up, 9 months down) but expect about a year.
4) Extra skin. Its a sad truth. But hopefully it goes away after all the kids?

Photos are
(me in black shirt) Pre-pregnancy, the day I found out I was pregnant
(me in green shirt) 40 weeks pregnant
all the other photos are 10 months postpartum, different angles of the saggy skin I never knew I would have to keep! and the c-section scar that my doctor told me would DISSAPPEAR in 3-6 months (it DIDNT)
and my little man :)

I also have a blog about my life, baby, and everything that came along with it if any one is interested in contacting me!