First Pregnancy

My Love, My Life, My Inspiration (Tsi K.)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Back, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 11 Comments

I have posted previously (here), but did not have the courage to show my face, lol!I decided to go ahead and take the plunge today, after witnessing so many other women doing the same. Childbirth, and indeed motherhood are such beautiful and overwhelming miracles, and oftentimes, I find myself gazing at my little girl and wondering how and why I was chosen to raise and nurture such a beautiful soul.I strive to to be a role model for her, even at her tender age of 2. I know I only have a few precious years to teach her love of self, before she begins to understand, and perhaps be influenced by the the damaging descriptions of the female body that have forced many women and even children to travel down the path of self-disgust and self-hatred. I traveled such a path for many years before I became pregnant, but finally resolved to accept myself the way I was, for fear that I would one day have a daughter, and pass that negativity down to her. Well, God smiled down upon me that day, and I am thankful for it, because now my ‘just in case daughter’ is a beautiful reality, and a daily reminder to love and be kind to myself in order to set a positive example for her. The first picture was taken when I was 9 months pregnant, and then next three were taken within the last week. I have included a picture of my c-section scar, of which I am so proud! Towards the end of my pregnancy I got plenty of stretch marks under my breasts, but only a few on my mid-section (some on each hip bone.)The last picture is of course, my sunshine and reason for being.Thank you to all of the beautiful women who have contributed their stories and their images to this site. There is nothing more powerful than one woman being an inspiration to another, and you have all been an inspiration to me!







Updated here.

Perfection (Caurie)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

Becoming a mother saved my life. Before I became pregnant with my first son my focus in life was my body. I had anorexia and exercise bulimia for years. In the pursuit of a “perfect” body my body was like an old woman’s. I had osteopenia, the enamel on my teeth was eroded, my heart had palpitations, and I had a seizure. I was 27 years old! I got pregnant on Valentine’s Day 2003 and immediately my whole focus in life changed. I fell in love with the little bean inside me instantly. At just five weeks pregnant, though, my body turned on me (who could blame it!?) I started throwing up and it would not stop. After passing out from dehydration and being taken to the hospital I found out I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum– a pregnancy complication marked by extreme vomiting, nausea, and weight loss. Basically it is like having the worst case of morning sickness 24-7. During my first trimester I lost 20 pounds and was hospitalized five times for IV hydration and nutrition. The IVs kept my baby alive as I could not even hold down water. I worried every minute that my baby was going to die. For the first time in my life I WANTED to gain weight, but I could not. The lowest point in my Hyperemesis came when a hospital physician suggested I was making myself sick because I didn’t want to gain weight. At around 24 weeks the vomiting stopped thanks to anti-emetic medicines used for chemotherapy patients. I slowly began to gain weight and look pregnant. I LOVED the rest of my pregnancy and embraced the roundness of my body, fullness of my breasts, and widening of my hips. Brice was born on November 4 and it was truly the best day of my life. Because of the Hyperemesis I did not plan to get pregnant again, but my husband and I were surprised with a souvenir from a vacation in May 2006! The day I found out I was pregnant again my OB started me on the same medications that helped my Hyperemesis with Brice. I am happy to report that I had an excellent pregnancy with Brady – the medications worked and I only had to be hospitalized once – when I delivered him. Although he had some breathing difficulty at birth, he is now a healthy, happy, and rotund baby. January 12 marks one year postpartum. I have had such a journey with my body over the past several years. At this point I no longer view my body with negativity, but with respect. I admire it not for what it looks like, but for what its achieved — two pregnancies, two births, and the nourishment of two babies through its milk. Unlike how it looked when I was anorexic – bony, gaunt, and child like – my body is now curvy, fleshy, and womanly. I have accepted it. Sure there are moments when I do not exactly embrace it, but thinness is no longer the focus of my life. My focus is my sons. How can I hate a body which gave me such precious gifts? In this sense, my body is finally “perfect.

www.caurie.com

Photos: Photos: 1) 34 weeks pregnant with my first in yoga pose 2) 34 weeks pregnant with my second 3) Breastfeeding 4) My boys and I



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Courtesy of photographer Sara Matlik




16 months later and still not happy with my body (Kasondra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 17 Comments

christmas 2005 i gave my husband news that would change both of our lives forever. we were going to have a baby. ever since i can remember i have wanted to be a mother and couldnt have been more excited to know that i finally would be. since i gain weight easily in my belly i started to show pretty quickly but was excited to be mark free. until the seventh month that is. seven months into my pregnancy i went to bed mark free and woke up looking like i was attacked by someone kind of wild beast and had marks all over my body. i knew that i would more then likely have a few marks on my stomach and hips, but the marks covered my entire body. my thighs and butt and my breasts as well as my stomach and hips. i swear i must have been the unluckiest pregnant woman in the world. throughout my entire pregnancy i put on over 100 pounds and lost so much confidence in myself. so….as of tomorrow my son will be 16 months old and i have yet to lose the weight and my body stretchmarks are still healing. though im sure it has effected him as well, my husband is so supportive and it has definately helped me stay up!! you know whats funny…i am happier and more confident now then i was before i got pregnant with my son. life couldnt be better!! =) so i just want to say thank you so much for creating this site to help other women like myself not feel so bad about the changing made to our bodies during pregnancy. thank you!!!








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Updated here and here!

18 Months post, not even close to pre-pregnancy (Regina)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 6 Comments

I became pregnant with my daughter a month before my 17th birthday. I had always struggled with my weight and when i was 15 completely starved myself for 3 months. i love 50 pounds. and kept it all off. I was a size 9-11 and weighed 158 pounds when i got pregnant. By the time i delivered i had gained 47 pounds, weighing 205. i lost 20 in delivery. i am 18 months post and i have lost 5 more pounds on top of that. i weigh 180 pounds. i am between a size 18-15. I have lots of very thick, short stretch marks and extra skin and cellulite. but i’m starting to accept it and get over the fact that i am not a super model at heart. And she’s worth every pound.








Updated here and here.

Post-partum belly after 16 months (Tsi K.)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 29 Comments

I haven’t seen too many African-American women post on this site so I decided to add my own voice. I have struggled with my fair share of eating disorders and body image issues, but now that I have a young daughter, I am acutely aware of how I view myself, and of the messages I want to send to her. I gained 50lbs during my pregnancy, and the first picture was taken when I was 9 months pregnant. My daughter is now 16 months old, and the next two pictures are how I look today. I have a few stretch marks on either side of my hips and under my breasts. Doing pilates both before I got pregnant and after I gave birth, really helped me get back into shape. Thank you for this beautiful site, and thank you to all the women who have had the courage to share their amazing stories!





Updated here and here.

10 Years Later (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) 5+ Years Postpartum, Belly, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 6 Comments

I gave birth to my first and only child ten years ago- a son named Zachary. He’s awesome. He plays the violin and pokemon and likes Science, but hates hurricanes and tornados, and plays music really loud and runs around the house to it. I love him more than sunshine, moonlight, good coffee, snow days, and all other excellent things in the world. My favorite Zac quote so far is, “Humans are wierd because we try so hard to pretend we’re not animals.” I’ll be 35 this year, and I don’t think I’ll have more kids. Ten years ago, I decided to get pregnant, got pregnant, had the boy, and life’s been a blast with him. But now… see, a friend of mine just found out she was pregnant and she brought me back… day dreaming about my own pregnancy… and I ended up here. I love this site, and I love all of your pictures. If I decide to have another baby this year, consider yourselves partly responsible. Here are my pictures. One of my poochy tummy, some back fat which I earned during pregnancy and will never shed, some silvery stretch marks which are faded but still show up pretty good, and finally, the boy.






Updated here.

stretchmarked legs (Autumn)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Legs, Submissions, Update 9 Comments

i posted here in july of last year, here’s the link to that post: https://theshapeofamother.com/2006/07/autumn/

the first picture is of the stretchmarks i got on the back of my legs during my pregnancy. i had a hard time getting photos of them(cause of my posistion haha) but i did get one shot. both of my legs look like this from the back and the stretchmarks travel down to my calves, but those are harder to see since they’ve faded to white. the second picture is my stomach as of now-18 months post partum. my stretchmarks have faded and i swear get lighter by the second.


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Updated here, here and here.

My mommy body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 5 Comments

Here I am 4months pp. I love this site. I actually stripped myself & my son down & ran into the bedroom to take pics to add. I didn’t gain a pound until 6months. Then I gained 40. I had too much fluid around my son, adding to my stretched belly & a very short waist. I’m only 5’1″! My breasts are a bit deflated, but not much different than before. I was a 36F before pg, not sure what I am now. They didn’t really grow during pregnancy, thank god. I’m beginning to come to terms with my new “mommy body” thanks in part to this wonderful project!!

Updated here.

Mikaela

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 6 Comments

The first time I visited The Shape of a Mother, there were only a few submissions, and I thought, “I have to do this.” It’s taken me several months to *finally* do it, but here I am, thanks to all the amazing moms who’ve already posted :)

Before I really had the chance to even consider whether or not I wanted children, I became pregnant. We were high school sweethearts, together for almost four years and engaged. I was 18, he was 19, and we were living together, far away from home. I don’t remember much about being pregnant, other than *loving* it. I’ve never in my life ever felt so beautiful than I did during those nine months. Even when I was working double shifts and throwing up in a trash can at my desk, I was absolutely joyous over my belly.

Being so young, my body weight and shape went right back to where I started almost immediately. However, the nearly 40 pounds I gained left me with many stretch marks; all over my tummy, on the tops of my thighs and on my breasts. I never had a stretch mark in my life before then and I thought they were just the wildest things.

I’ve always been self-conscience of my body, always very modest, and so these scars didn’t really change the way I dressed or undressed or displayed myself. I hadn’t owned a bathing suit in years, I never wore belly-bearing tops and I never undressed in front of my boyfriend. As much as my modesty has been a burden, I believe it also really helped me adjust to my new appearance. I’d always had a private, intimate relationship with my body – getting to know it with these unusual stretch marks wasn’t difficult.

I do love them. Seeing them, I am reminded of just how clueless I was ten years ago when I got pregnant. What were we thinking?! 2,500 miles away from home, barely making it on our own, living it up every weekend, no car, still kids ourselves… It’s amazing that we were allowed to have a child!

Like most mommas, I now know that I was intended to give birth to my son; I know the world was simply not complete without him. He is an amazing, thoughtful, creative, cuddly, nonstop, tackling, building, drawing, high-energy, high-impact, collection of skateboarding legs, basketball playing arms and long hair. He’s my monster. My number one man, my light, my heart and my soul. And every time I brush a hand across my stomach and feel one of my deep stretch marks, or catch a glimpse of them on my breasts, the edges of them poking out the top of my shirt, or notice them on my thighs when I change at the gym, I am reminded of him, and I feel proud and insanely touched by the fact that I am a mom. A mom – wow!

Now that I’ve had the time and experience to consider parenthood, I know that had I not become pregnant then, I never would have. Sustainability, economics, consumerism, politics and just plain fright play major roles in my decision to *not* have any more children. Thank goodness I was too young and stupid ten years ago to know any better! As difficult as being a very young, and eventually a single mom, has been, I feel like parenthood was the universe’s gift to me – the only way I could become a mother, was to let it happen before I could even think about it. Thank god it did :)

www.mdmintake.blogspot.com