First Pregnancy

My body has changed, but I feel better with myself. (Silvia)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 7 Comments

Age: 27
Nr. of pregnancies and births: 1-1
Age of my baby girl: 3 months

When I learned I was pregnant, I tried a mix of emotions, fear, happiness, surprise … I thought it was a miracle, because I thought I could not get pregnant due to some problems. I was frightened by the thought of giving birth, the change of my body. I always used to be slim, with breasts not too big but very nice. Let’s be sincere, a woman is always asking what will happen to its appearance after pregnancy. Day after day I began to see the changes, the larger belly, the breast as well, the pink nipples become almost blacks and larger … but it is true, the thought of having a life inside you is stronger than everything. I had a caesarean because of eye problems. Julia was born May 23, 2011, and was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen until then. In the end I did not care how my body would be, but I prayed to hear the words “your baby is healthy.” I was lucky, I have to admit .. After less than a month already I was almost like before, and after 3 months as before. I chose to breastfeed, at the beginning it was hard, but now it’s been three months julia just takes my milk. My breast has changed, it’ s different than before, but I do not care, I now have a new priority … and everything else, including me, has gone into the background …

Genetics is Everything (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 14 Comments

I am 31 years old, my little one was born about 15 month ago, in May, 2010. Before my pregnancy my belly was absolutely flat, I was so proud of it. Although we needed c-section, because my baby’s head did not find its way out and my doctor did not want to risk anything after the water broke, my uterus became relatively small right after the delivery. Fortunately my skin could retain its flexibility, too, so unless one stares at my belly so closely, it is not obvious that I have a son.

Although I feel and know that my body is not exactly the same anymore (there are some tiny white stripes around my waist; there is a little bit more skin on my belly than there should be and in a way I am wider than I was before), those who do not see me naked cannot tell that I have already been pregnant.

I feel so lucky that I take after my mother, who has two children and still looks amazing. Thanks Mum, I love you!

No of pregnancies and births: 1

Pic 1: The change that 37 weeks of pregnancy brought
Pic 2: My belly from my perspective in the 37th week
Pic 3: My belly after 6 weeks
Pic 4: The scar after 6 weeks
Pic 5: After 15 weeks in clothes ;)

Update, 15 Year Old Mother (Terressa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom, Update 11 Comments

Previous entry here.

This is an update from my first submission here on SOAM. When I first typed this I had this whole long story about what I’ve been through the past year, but I realized it would be a VERY long story. So here’s a summary of my first year of motherhood (although it’s still fairly long):

I had my c-section on September 3rd last year, it was horrible and I never want to have another c-section in my life. EVER. The first few months were the hardest, especially after my daughter’s father had to leave to go back to Tennessee. I had hardly any help and was trying to do school work as well. Once my daughter got older and started crawling and sleeping through the night things were much easier. My mother went into a coma in March, and passed away in April. This was when I said “Away with you self-esteem problems!” What’s the point of wasting my life thinking about how much I want a perfect body. It won’t ever happen so I got over it. I can still live a fantastic life without a perfect body. At the time, me and my boyfriend were broken up, but he was still there for me after my mom died even though he also had another girlfriend at the time. After her death it was hard to pick myself back up. I was depressed constantly, I cried easily, I got pissed off at everyone for no reason, I stopped exercising and eating healthy, I wasn’t doing my school work. I reverted to self-harming, and my family saw it, but didn’t bother to ask why or get me any help. I picked myself up finally and I’ve been catching up on my school work (I’m about 5 months behind), I’ve been exercising daily again, and I’m just happier overall. My daughter was my only real motivation to pick myself up again, and without her I don’t know where I would be today. My boyfriend and I are back together, we’ve broken up several times (mostly because he still lives in Tennessee, long-distance relationships are hard to maintain), he’s found several different girls to replace me (all of them of course being much more gorgeous than myself, further plummeting my self-esteem), but in the end we always found ourselves going back to one another. He’s been there for me through everything, even if we weren’t together and even if we hated each other’s guts at the time. SO I’m hoping that things will only get better between us once he moves back to Florida this month. My daughter is almost one now and she’s hitting all of her milestones, she’s perfect, healthy, and happy. Everyone told me that because I was a 15-year-old mother I wouldn’t be able to properly raise her. Well this is my big SCREW YOU to who ever doubted me. I’ve raised this baby girl BY MYSELF for this whole year. My parents did NOT raise my daughter, I did. So every one who thinks that age defines your ability to be a parent can now admit how wrong they are.

For anyone wondering about my weight loss, by the end of my pregnancy I was 175lbs (which is HEAVY when you’re only 5’1″.) I was about 145lbs last time I submitted, I was a size 12, and a D-cup. Now I am about 120lbs, I am a size 7, and a B-cup. I’m very proud of how much weight I’ve lost, now I’m just hoping to tone up my body again and get rid of my still-pregnant looking tummy. My stretch marks have faded and are silver, but I have a wrinkly looking belly and that is the only thing I wish I could change.

Another side note: To any teen mothers out there struggling, there is hope. Life may seem bad, you may be behind in school, living in a crappy place, struggling with your appearance, dealing with a screaming child day after day after day, dealing with relationship problems, but just a take a few minutes each day to look at your child and remember why you’re going through everything. Without my daughter I don’t know what I’d do to stay sane. If you ever need advice, encouragement, or just to vent you can always email me at terressagallup AT gmail.com

Photos 1&2: Me now at 1 year PP.

Photo 3&4: Me & my daughter when she was first born/ Me & my daughter now.

Photo 5 : My babygirl <3 Photo 6: A picture of me & my mom when I was a baby, I realize that this doesn't have much to do with my post but I want to include it because my mother was the strongest woman I've ever known and if I can be even a fraction as strong as she was I'll be happy. ~Age: 16 ~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 Pregnancy/ 1 Birth ~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 year. [gallery]

Worth it All (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 8 Comments

24 years old, first baby, 4 months old at the time of this picture. Took 20 months and a miscarriage to get to where we are now. These are what I jokingly refer to as my “tiger stripes”. They do make me sad sometimes, but I try to think of them as a natural form of body art, beautiful because of what they represent…my precious little blessing, my beautiful baby girl.

Suddenly Androgynous! (Jan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 19 Comments

1 Pregnancy
1 Child, eight months old

My name is Jan. I am 25 years old and I am currently eight months postpartum. Before my husband and I even started trying to get pregnant, I was concerned about what might happen to my body. I had always been slim, my tummy flat, and my breasts were proportionate to my body.
We got pregnant quickly, which we were so thankful for.
Pregnancy agreed with me, I loved my fuller breasts, and my growing belly became even more special when I began feeling my baby’s movements. I still miss feeling the little hiccoughs.

I went into labour two days before my due date and progressed quickly at the hospital. Then unexpectedly, I stalled out at nine centimetres. My doctor wanted me to push, in an effort to thin out the last bit of rim on my cervix. This didn’t work, even after an hour of trying. So I gave in and got the epidural- the hope was that it would help me relax- and then successfully finished dilating. But my babe wouldn’t budge! I pushed for another hour to no avail. At last I gave birth with the assistance of forceps. It was the most intense ten minutes of my life. I had a beautiful baby girl weighing in at 7 lbs, 14 oz.

About two days after her birth, I really noticed my milk coming in. My breasts ballooned to a D cup. I actually enjoyed the leaking of milk. I loved breastfeeding too, the oxytocin made me blissful. My little girl was such a wonderful eater. I had some soreness in my nipples but after a few days it was gone, and I was enjoying the very rewarding experience of nourishing my child from my body.

Around five months of age, my baby girl began crying more than we expected. I had been noticing my breasts didn’t leak anymore and didn’t seem as full either. Soon we realized she wasn’t getting enough to eat.
I rented an electric breast pump and began pumping as much as I could to try to stimulate more production. I battled with it for a month and then decided to try a prescription to increase my prolactin hormone. The pills worked for sure, but my husband noticed I was becoming depressed. I would cry several times a day over nothing, insisting I wasn’t a good mother. I got angry with him easily and said and did hurtful things when that is not in my nature at all.
Together we decided that I shouldn’t take the pills anymore, so I breastfed as much as I could but supplemented with formula. Slowly but surely I could see that my production was coming to an end altogether.

Now my daughter is eight months old and she is formula fed (solids now, too). It has been about a month to six weeks since she breastfed. I miss nursing her. Her baby smell mixed with that sweet breast milk smell was intoxicating. Now I feel that she doesn’t need me in the same way she once did. Of course she still needs me, I’m her mother after all… but the breastfeeding was something only I could provide. It was my excuse to have my baby all to myself.

I have been feeling badly about my body. I am 108 lbs now. That is six pounds less than when I got pregnant. I know there are women out there struggling to lose the baby weight, struggling to love the extra skin and stretch marks. A lot of women wouldn’t want to hear me complain about my body I’m sure. But I actually felt more beautiful at 39 weeks pregnant (I weighed 142 lbs at that point). Even a couple of weeks postpartum when my tummy was squishy and still had the dark lines on it, I felt like more of a woman. I felt beautiful. I couldn’t wait to heal and make love to my husband again, wanting him to enjoy my more womanly figure too.
Now I am a cup size smaller than I was pre pregnancy. I am thin, I am boyish. I often wonder if my husband is still attracted to me- with my small, sagging breasts… that really don’t have much mass anymore. They seem more like hanging pieces of skin.

And yet, I know that I need to love my body. What an amazing accomplishment, to be pregnant and to give birth, and to feed my baby from my body. Sure, I looked “better” pre pregnancy, but my body had never accomplished anything so incredible before. Despite wishing I looked more like my “old self”, I now respect my body more.

1st Photo- Eight months post partum
2nd Photo- 38 weeks pregnant

45 pounds up, 40 pounds down. learning to love my new body… saggy skin and all! (Ruth)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 13 Comments

25 years old, first (and only) pregnancy, cesarean, baby boy
Pre-pregnancy weight: 110 lbs. (best shape of my life!)
Weight gained in pregnancy: 45 lbs.
Current Weight at one year postpartum: 115 lbs (5 lbs to go!)

Before baby, I was working out sometimes 2 hours a day (don’t worry, I ate a lot to make up for it!) and as I continued in my pregnancy, all the things I used to do (I ran, swam, biked, yoga-ed, weights, pretty much anything and everything) went by the wayside and all I could do was walk and swim the last few months of my pregnancy. I continued to eat what I wanted and craved which was mostly healthy, but still A LOT to pack onto my small 5′ 1″ frame.

After some craziness (20 hours of labor), the little guy was suffering too much to go through more labor and I had a c-section. I wish I had done a better job to mentally prepare myself for it, because it was a SHOCK. 6 weeks I could basically do nothing, not even carry my baby in his carrier. Even though I was working full time as an art teacher at the local high school, I set about for 530am workouts to lose the weight. I breastfed/pumped for 8 months. Even with the stress of working full time, I lost just about all of it within 7 months and was so happy!!!

BUT…. nobody told me what would happen to my body and I was in for a HUGE shock. When people told me my bikini days would be behind me, I told them of course it wouldn’t be, in my mind, if I lost the weight (ate right, and worked out REALLY hard), everything should go back to normal, right??? wrong.

Then someone pointed me to this site.
And I was humbled. And left in awe. Some of these women have bodies that were so much more affected than mine.
And yet these bodies really are beautiful. This site is wonderful and I just wanted to add my voice to it.

I wish someone would have sat me down and told me a few things.
And if there are any other pre-baby girlies out there who are in need of some post-baby advice:

1) Its a LOT of work to get back to your pre-baby figure, but it is MUCH easier if you are in good shape BEFORE you get pregnant (I won’t be getting pregnant again till I lose those last 5 pounds!)
2) Breastfeeding is a GREAT way to burn more calories… but be forwarned that it will make you SUPER hungry 24/7
3) If you eat well and work out, your body may go down to size within 9 months (9 months up, 9 months down) but expect about a year.
4) Extra skin. Its a sad truth. But hopefully it goes away after all the kids?

Photos are
(me in black shirt) Pre-pregnancy, the day I found out I was pregnant
(me in green shirt) 40 weeks pregnant
all the other photos are 10 months postpartum, different angles of the saggy skin I never knew I would have to keep! and the c-section scar that my doctor told me would DISSAPPEAR in 3-6 months (it DIDNT)
and my little man :)

I also have a blog about my life, baby, and everything that came along with it if any one is interested in contacting me!

Learning to Surrender (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 10 Comments

30 years old, two pregnancies one birth.
Currently 8 months pregnant. 15 month old daughter.

I used to be a dancer and circus performer and suffered with eating disorders, self harmed and abused alcohol for many many years. By the time I reached 25 I had recovered and was able to maintain a normal and healthy weight at 128lbs and 5ft 7 although I still had issues with alcohol. I worked as a stripper part time which believe it or not was part of my recovery. I learnt to accept my naked body for what it was, although in the back of my mind I still had weight issues. I ended a ten year relationship and began to date my husband in 2008. I am very lucky that he likes curvy ladies and didn’t like my thinness at all. I fell pregnant in 2009 and had to accept the changes that were happening to me. I struggled at first with the weight gain and exercised alot through my daughter’s pregnancy swimming up to five times a week. Towards the end I began to relax and was able to accept and submit to the changes that were going on in my body. I gained 32lbs and had no stretch marks.

After a long difficult , but peaceful birthing using hypnobirthing, my daughter entered the world via forceps delivery. The pictures show my body 3 days after the birth and a week after the birth. My breasts became engorged with milk and I can truly say I felt the most beautiful I have ever been. I did lose the postpartem weight within six months (much to my husband’s regret) and had a wonderful if sleepless experience of breastfeeding my lovely daughter for 13 months during which time I fell pregnant again.

This time round I have submitted to my body allowing it to do what it needs to do without forcing it to exercise or maintain ridiculous standards of healthy eating and exercise. I am currently 8 months pregnant and on track to gain exactly the same as before WITHOUT THE HOURS IN THE POOL! My body knows what to do, my baby knows what to do and I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been. I might not be able to fit into my old showgirl and circus costumes, but my 15 month year old now has the best dressing up box out of all her little friends!

Find peace in yourselves ladies. Our bodies are miracle workers.

Loving My Mommy Marks (Izzy)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

Age-20
1 birth
baby will be 2 in September

Hello beautiful moms!! its been well over a year since I last posted. But I have been a daily visitor for the past 3 years. In my last submission I was 6 weeks pp with my little man, he will be two in September time sure does fly!

Before pregnancy I weighed in at 145-150 ish 5’9. When I first moved in with my now husband I went up to 185 (I was 16 we had our own apartment and we were up all night eating and playing video games lol) I let my self go but I loved my body at 185 and my husband was even more crazy about me :)

We found out we were expecting December of 2008 we were ecstatic and ready for parenthood. I loved every single moment of my pregnancy every kick, punch, hickup I loved loved loved. Being young (17) and overwhelmed I was pretty sure pregnancy was an excuse for me to gorge myself into anything I layed eyes on. I had no symptoms of pregnancy except a growing belly, no nausea, vomiting, heart burn nothing! I was feeling great and although I ate everything in sight I didn’t really start showing till about 25 weeks.

As I awoke every morning to a wonderful husband and a kick in the ribs by the life growing inside of me, I also had stretchmarks crawling closer and closer towards me. I had tons amongst tons of stretchies everywhere imaginable. On my sides, stomach, Boobs, calves, and arms. Although they didn’t bother me, the thought of never again having smooth flawless skin like girls my age started sinking in slowly.

I gave birth to my son with zero complications September 22, 2009. I weighed 240 lb (yikes!) when I delivered. I went home with a 7lb 10oz healthy baby boy. I knew right away I was going to breast feed and I’m very glad that my boy took very well to each feeding. By 6 weeks pp I was down to 190. I stayed at 190 throughout the whole ten months I was able to breast feed.
(My son was introduced to whole milk while I was going to school and working and little by little I was producing less and less milk)

After I stopped breast feeding my body was no longer burning the 500 calories that was helping me stay at 190 so you can pretty much figure out were I’m heading, Yup a whopping 26 pounds I gained leaving me at 216. I was miserable I couldn’t believe the number on the scale. Here’s this beautiful active baby boy walking and running and I could barley keep up! I was determined to loose this unnecessary weight, it wasn’t healthy and I didn’t want it interfering with me and my son’s play time :)

I changed my eating habits and ate healthy bringing me down to 200 lb and although I was happy about getting down to 200 I was upset because I weighed 200! I wasn’t loosing or gaining any more weight and I felt cheated because I was giving up all my favorite foods and I was working my butt of at the gym, but the scale still denied me to see the 100’s. My 20th birthday cam along and even though I was healthier I was loosing my motivation. Two tickets to Cancun Mexico was my birthday gift from my wonderful husband.
I had a life time of motivation now lol

I managed to get down to 180 in the matter of 5 months and was rocking a bikini on the beautiful beach of Cancun :) I put aside all of my insecurities and thanked my body for blessing me with a perfect child :) I might have a stretch mark for every freckle that Lindsay Lohan has on her body….but I’m a beautiful mother and I accept every squiggle and wrinkle that was left behind by my boy. I wanna thank SOAM and all the moms for their stories. There’s no such thing as an ugly mom and don’t let anyone tell you other wise we bring beautiful lives onto this earth and we should feel proud.

Oh and just found out a couple days ago baby #2 on the way..6 weeks pregnant yay!!

1st pic-before pregnancy
2nd pic-me at 32 weeks
3rd pic-laying down side view of stretchies
4th pic-really good view of my belly stretchies
5th pic-me and my baby showing off our bellies
6th pic-laying down stretchies don’t look as bad
7th pic-me ima dress
8th pic-boobs
Pics are me at 180 lb

Same Weight, Different Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 26 Comments

-Age 24, 1 child
-5 months PP

My pregnancy was awful. Since college, I’ve been a pretty healthy person at 5’1 and 145 but I’ve slowly crept up in weight from 120-145 but I feel comfortable at 135. Well, when I graduated from college last year, I discovered that I was pregnant–my boyfriend whom had already talked marriage with and I had only been dating a few months. Well, we got married and I went crazy because of hormones and the first year of marriage and gained a good 40 lbs even though I only probably needed to gain 25. I was crying all the time and yelling at my husband. My midwife said I was hypertensive and chose to induce me almost a week after my due day. The birth was fine and really great, no complications, and I felt very good about everything and I delivered a wonderfully healthy little boy at 7 lbs. 6 oz and I fell in love. We fell in love. And we were all happy.

Now, my self esteem is ruining everything. I knew my husband thought I was heavy when we first started dating and I tried to lose weight and then baby came and that stopped.Now I exercise regularly and eat healthy (when I feel like eating. I force myself to eat sometimes because I am breastfeeding and my little guy needs it). I’m now 142 after 5 months but this isn’t what my body looked like before! I have stretch marks all on my stomach, up and down my thighs and on my breasts. I don’t feel very attractive even though my husband insists he finds me very attractive, more so now than ever (it’s because of the boobs–I had none before my son) yet he hasn’t seen me naked since my first trimester. My insecurities were further exacerbated when I happened to come across some rather suggestive pictures of his long time friend (whom he has had a MAJOR crush on for almost a decade) in his stash of naked ladies. I was sick when i found them. She’s very slim lady and I think he’d love me more if I was slimmer. Now in my head there’s a constant competition over who is more attractive. Intellectually, I know my husband adores me, loves my body, and our life together and he just likes this girl because her personality has made him find her attractive but emotionally, I feel otherwise. I think if I didn’t have stretch marks, longer legs, and a smaller nose he’d love me more and I get so depressed because I’m not that I just don’t eat and stay in bed. I worry further that after I stop breastfeeding and I lose these amazing Ds that he won’t want to have sex with me or find it satisfying because I’ll go back to having my small scant B cup when he’s a man who loves his boobies big.

Some day I’ll feel better about everything, but right now I have other important items that should be on my mind other than feeling miserable and needing to exact revenge on this girl who doesn’t even know I hate her. I know I”m beautiful but some days it’s harder to believe it.

The pictures are me 5 months PP. Note the awful stretch marks.

Perfectly Imperfect (Blondiebroken)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 8 Comments

I am a teen mother, I got pregnant my first time having sex at the age of 17. I am now 19 years old and my son is 19 months old. When I was pregnant I had gained around 70-80 pounds and now that I am 19 months P.P. I still have 20 or 25 pounds to lose. It’s hard for me to lose that extra pouch of skin, I just get so jealous seeing these other moms who have a tight body, even after pregnancy. I am ashamed of my stretchmarks, but I am NOT ashamed of my son. It’s summer time now, I still dislike my body, but I am able to show it off when in public and I’m not ashamed of it. I am only ashamed of my body when in private areas, I will not admit my fears to random people and this is a big step for me to post something as personal as this. When I see these ladies on this site posting pictures of themselves and they’re afraid to even wear a low cut shirt, it makes me really sad. A lot of women after pregnancy can’t get back to pre-pregnancy size and it is a sad thing but it’s also a new step in your life that not many other women(those without children)will ever accomplish, you have :) don’t be ashamed of the marks. I just wanted to say that even with a child, you can still be sexy and show it off. I have the new form that I am gonna have to live with, whether I like it or not. One day I do hope to love my body 100% of the time.

1st picture-Before pregnancy
2nd picture-41 weeks pregnant
3rd picture-After son was born <3 4th picture-After pregnancy; Stomach from side 5th picture-Close up of my stomach and stretchmarks 6th picture-At the beach and in a bikini 7th picture-My son <3 Age: As stated above, 19. Number of pregnancies and birth: 1(for both) The age of your child, or how postpartum you are: 19 months old and 19 months P.P. [gallery]