Previous entry here.
This is an update from my first submission here on SOAM. When I first typed this I had this whole long story about what I’ve been through the past year, but I realized it would be a VERY long story. So here’s a summary of my first year of motherhood (although it’s still fairly long):
I had my c-section on September 3rd last year, it was horrible and I never want to have another c-section in my life. EVER. The first few months were the hardest, especially after my daughter’s father had to leave to go back to Tennessee. I had hardly any help and was trying to do school work as well. Once my daughter got older and started crawling and sleeping through the night things were much easier. My mother went into a coma in March, and passed away in April. This was when I said “Away with you self-esteem problems!” What’s the point of wasting my life thinking about how much I want a perfect body. It won’t ever happen so I got over it. I can still live a fantastic life without a perfect body. At the time, me and my boyfriend were broken up, but he was still there for me after my mom died even though he also had another girlfriend at the time. After her death it was hard to pick myself back up. I was depressed constantly, I cried easily, I got pissed off at everyone for no reason, I stopped exercising and eating healthy, I wasn’t doing my school work. I reverted to self-harming, and my family saw it, but didn’t bother to ask why or get me any help. I picked myself up finally and I’ve been catching up on my school work (I’m about 5 months behind), I’ve been exercising daily again, and I’m just happier overall. My daughter was my only real motivation to pick myself up again, and without her I don’t know where I would be today. My boyfriend and I are back together, we’ve broken up several times (mostly because he still lives in Tennessee, long-distance relationships are hard to maintain), he’s found several different girls to replace me (all of them of course being much more gorgeous than myself, further plummeting my self-esteem), but in the end we always found ourselves going back to one another. He’s been there for me through everything, even if we weren’t together and even if we hated each other’s guts at the time. SO I’m hoping that things will only get better between us once he moves back to Florida this month. My daughter is almost one now and she’s hitting all of her milestones, she’s perfect, healthy, and happy. Everyone told me that because I was a 15-year-old mother I wouldn’t be able to properly raise her. Well this is my big SCREW YOU to who ever doubted me. I’ve raised this baby girl BY MYSELF for this whole year. My parents did NOT raise my daughter, I did. So every one who thinks that age defines your ability to be a parent can now admit how wrong they are.
For anyone wondering about my weight loss, by the end of my pregnancy I was 175lbs (which is HEAVY when you’re only 5’1″.) I was about 145lbs last time I submitted, I was a size 12, and a D-cup. Now I am about 120lbs, I am a size 7, and a B-cup. I’m very proud of how much weight I’ve lost, now I’m just hoping to tone up my body again and get rid of my still-pregnant looking tummy. My stretch marks have faded and are silver, but I have a wrinkly looking belly and that is the only thing I wish I could change.
Another side note: To any teen mothers out there struggling, there is hope. Life may seem bad, you may be behind in school, living in a crappy place, struggling with your appearance, dealing with a screaming child day after day after day, dealing with relationship problems, but just a take a few minutes each day to look at your child and remember why you’re going through everything. Without my daughter I don’t know what I’d do to stay sane. If you ever need advice, encouragement, or just to vent you can always email me at terressagallup AT gmail.com
Photos 1&2: Me now at 1 year PP.
Photo 3&4: Me & my daughter when she was first born/ Me & my daughter now.
Photo 5 : My babygirl <3 Photo 6: A picture of me & my mom when I was a baby, I realize that this doesn't have much to do with my post but I want to include it because my mother was the strongest woman I've ever known and if I can be even a fraction as strong as she was I'll be happy. ~Age: 16 ~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 Pregnancy/ 1 Birth ~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 1 year. [gallery]