Learning to Surrender (Anonymous)

30 years old, two pregnancies one birth.
Currently 8 months pregnant. 15 month old daughter.

I used to be a dancer and circus performer and suffered with eating disorders, self harmed and abused alcohol for many many years. By the time I reached 25 I had recovered and was able to maintain a normal and healthy weight at 128lbs and 5ft 7 although I still had issues with alcohol. I worked as a stripper part time which believe it or not was part of my recovery. I learnt to accept my naked body for what it was, although in the back of my mind I still had weight issues. I ended a ten year relationship and began to date my husband in 2008. I am very lucky that he likes curvy ladies and didn’t like my thinness at all. I fell pregnant in 2009 and had to accept the changes that were happening to me. I struggled at first with the weight gain and exercised alot through my daughter’s pregnancy swimming up to five times a week. Towards the end I began to relax and was able to accept and submit to the changes that were going on in my body. I gained 32lbs and had no stretch marks.

After a long difficult , but peaceful birthing using hypnobirthing, my daughter entered the world via forceps delivery. The pictures show my body 3 days after the birth and a week after the birth. My breasts became engorged with milk and I can truly say I felt the most beautiful I have ever been. I did lose the postpartem weight within six months (much to my husband’s regret) and had a wonderful if sleepless experience of breastfeeding my lovely daughter for 13 months during which time I fell pregnant again.

This time round I have submitted to my body allowing it to do what it needs to do without forcing it to exercise or maintain ridiculous standards of healthy eating and exercise. I am currently 8 months pregnant and on track to gain exactly the same as before WITHOUT THE HOURS IN THE POOL! My body knows what to do, my baby knows what to do and I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been. I might not be able to fit into my old showgirl and circus costumes, but my 15 month year old now has the best dressing up box out of all her little friends!

Find peace in yourselves ladies. Our bodies are miracle workers.

10 thoughts on “Learning to Surrender (Anonymous)

  • Wednesday, August 31, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Your body looks beautiful! And what an amazing story. I love reading this blog but I never get the courage to post. :(

  • Thursday, September 1, 2011 at 5:58 am

    Gorgeous… i love your before picture as much as your cuvier new picture!! love your post too!

    LOLA!! post babe, your beautiful and you know it!

  • Thursday, September 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    What a gorgeous post! You look wonderful!

  • Sunday, September 4, 2011 at 10:37 am

    You look fabulous! I know it must be a difficult transition from a performer’s body to a mom’s body but you should be very proud and empowered:)

  • Monday, September 5, 2011 at 7:43 am

    When I saw your postpartum pictures I said out loud, “Oh my gosh! She’s so beautiful!” I was elated after the birth of my two children, breastfed for 2+ years each time, but suffered a sort of post-partum deppression after weaning each time. I’m so glad that you are seeing in exact numbers how being good to yourself nets the same results physically, only a happier, healthier you! Your husband and children are so lucky to have you!

  • Monday, September 5, 2011 at 10:13 am

    You’re a beautiful lady! You have a fabulous figure! FABULOUS. Not even remotely stretching the truth here! Wow! :D

  • Sunday, September 18, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Girl, your boobs are AWESOME!! Wow!!

  • Saturday, September 24, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Hi There, I know not many men comment on this site, but for one I think it is really cool, and helps show what real people look like, and thats called diverse. Every shape, size, colour its amazing. Anyway, your pictures are quality, and I think you figure is something else. Not all men are for the media perpetuated bay watch look, some of us do love women for what they are in every aspect. Good on you. :-)

  • Tuesday, November 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    I think you look beautiful. Your body looks incredible.

  • Wednesday, January 11, 2012 at 4:03 am

    Thank you for all the comments guys. I just had my second child who is now four months old. I am still very happy in myself although I haven’t lost a pound of baby weight yet! lol. I blame it on christmas! I will do another post when I get a chance with two babies under two it’s not often. Peace out. x

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