I just found this site via a link and am amazed and in awe of all the mothers who have posted especially with pictures. I will have to find pictures to post since so many of the younger mothers have questions about how it looks. Well I’m now almost 43 years old now, had my first child via emergency c-section at 26 and my second at age 39 via c-section not by choice but hosptial and insurance “once a c-section always a c-section” policy. I’ve since had a laboring miscarriage at 41 years of age and another earlier this year. All pregnancies regarless of the duration or outcome change our bodies. We look in the mirror and lament the changes instead of looking into the adoring faces of our children – and we mothers are the center of their world.
Child Loss
(Anonymous)
I never thought I would get pregnant. I was told it would be unlikely as I had very bad endometriosis and womb cancer. My husband and I were so happy and felt so blessed when we got pregnant in August last year. Unfortunately I miscarried at 11 weeks. We decided to try again and were totally shocked when we got pregnant only two months later. I am now nearly 33 weeks pregnant and love my bump. I do have some stretchmarks on it and I do worry about how my body will look afterwards. Sometimes I get a bit depressed when I think I will probably have to work at getting in shape for the first time. But I know that my body has done something amazing. It made my baby, our little miracle. And my husband says he finds my body more beautiful than ever, because it is looking after and growing our baby. Below is my bump at 32 weeks
My Everything (Kristin)
Hello, my name is Kristin and i am 20 years old. I got mrried to my husband at 19, he is 24. We got pregnant a few months after getting married , we were soo happy but i lost our first baby at 8 weeks. It was the hardest thing ever. We got pregnant again 1 month later and 39.5 weeks later i gave birth to our baby BOY. He was 8 pounds,90zs, 20.5 inches. We names him Timothy, he is my everything. I am not happy with my body, but i will get use to it. I was 117 before i got pregnant, went up to 145 during pregnancy and 7 weeks later i am 112. These pics are during pregnancy at 6 months-9 months, then me 7 weeks after having him. Even tho i am not happy with my body, my baby boy was worth every stretch mark i got.
3rd baby-stillborn 40 weeks (Anonymous)
Our beautiful baby girl was sill born Jan.26, 2007. We had no idea that she would not be coming home with us that day. We were scheduled for a c-section (my 2nd one) she was breech just like her brother before her. My 1st baby was textbook and a vaginal delivery. She was moving around just fine the night before so when the Dr. told us that there was no heartbeat and that we would be delivering a stillborn baby we were devastated. The cord had 2 knots and was wrapped 4 times around her neck. She was fully formed and beautiful. We are still healing, but take great comfort in knowing that God had a special purpose for her: there were several women who spoke of a healing and closure that came from her funeral or from holding her shortly after her birth. We are looking forward to meeting her in Heaven again one day.
(the image is beautiful, yet very sad, so I made this one a link)
View image
Baby #3, Post #3 (Babs)
The last submissions I put in were about not having any stretch marks, and a c-section recovery but baby #3 came 3 weeks overdue (and by UBAC) and weighed over 9lbs; he left his footprints when I reached about 40weeks and my fundal height crept past 43cm (it went to over 46). He came 11 months after my cesarean/childloss.
These pictures were a few weeks before birth, one during labour (an hour before birth) and one 2 months postpartum.
Updated here.
Anonymous
All my childhood I wanted to do nothing more than to be a Mom. I dreamed about pregnancy and childbirth. At career day, I didn’t want a career other than to be a Mother.
Before becoming a Mother, people always commented about how tiny I was, how thin I was. Now, 4 pregnancies and 2 live children later, I don’t have the figure I once did. The hardest part has been the reaction on people’s faces when they haven’t seen me for a long time. I am no longer 115 pounds, but 150. The look of disgust has been so hard for me to swallow. I’ll never forget the “old high school friends” I visited when my last child was 5 months old. That was the worst I have ever felt about my self-image. It wasn’t what they said, it was what they didn’t way. That short hour ruined the rest of my vacation. Never again will I give someone the power to make me feel embarassed or ashamed of my body. I have experienced loss and heartbreak. The marks on body are the remaining memories of the babies that didn’t make it and the reminder for the love I have for the 2 that did. I am thankful for the opportunity to house my children safely in my body. Some people want the chance, but don’t get it. I however, am one of the lucky ones. Every stretch mark, every pound gained is a reminder that I have the family I always dreamed of.
Anonymous
I am a mother. My son, Vincent Michael, never took a breath of air. His spirit is well-alive, though.
“There is no heartbeat. I’m sorry”, says the doc. My heart broke. My husband’s eyes welled up and I knew, though in shock, that it was real.
I was 34 weeks along…this doesn’t happen, right? Our beautiful baby boy’s body was delivered 12 hours later with the help of my incredible midwife and the best L & D staff in the world. They treated us like family….we felt their love and compassion. Vincent was perfect. I remember what his forehead felt and smelled like when i kissed him—so sweet. During his short stay in my belly, Vincent saved us. He led his father, me, and my father to the Lord. We were all baptised in the Gulf of Mexico–little Vinnie warm in the womb. He wanted to make sure his parents and paw paw would hold him again one day. Though we don’t have any earthly answers why Vincent left us so soon (his chubby body, umbilical cord, and placenta were flawless), we are certain that our Lord gives, and takes away, according to His great plan. The clouds will fade, the sun will shine again. It takes a little time and a lot of Jesus to heal. Victory.
Nan
We found out that baby #1 was coming 2 months after we got engaged. Shocked wasn’t the word, considering that we were barely 20 years old and weren’t even sure that we ever wanted children. We decided that one baby would be delightful, and that gorgeous daughter was born in October.
Her birth taught me a lot about how important knowledgeable support and education were to birthing. I became a doula when she was 1 year old and had a thriving practice.
I also began bellydancing and around this time. Before long, I was assisting a local midwife in her practice and had the opportunity to see many beautiful home births.
5 years and 100 births or so later, we decided that another baby was a great idea. After an early miscarriage, we conceived little girlie #2. We decided to birth this baby at home.
My labor was quick and easy, and I’m still trying to decide if it was the bellydancing, the trust that I had gained from seeing so many natural births, or the simple fact that second babies are often easier to get out!
Now, nearly 7 years later, I am still attending births at home with a very busy practice; now officially as an apprentice midwife, dance 3 times a week, perform with my troupe regularly; and I teach bellydance to many of our pregnant clients as well!
I have the honor of touching many pregnant bellies. I see women use their bodies in what I consider to be two of the most powerful ways it can be used – in dancing as a tribe and while
birthing their babies. What a blessing.
Thanks for the great site and the opportunity to tell our stories.
Warmly,
Nan
Heather (Babs)
Hi,
I did the post for “Babs”, with the black and white picture that showed the c-section scar.
I came back and read some of the comments that people had left. I was a little afraid to at first, wondering if they’d all be around the lines of “You’re so lucky” – and I was so grateful to see that they weren’t: everyone’s different. This blog is inspirational and I’m so glad it’s here.
Someone commented in a way that felt very true to me. She said: “Thanks for sharing your photos. My body bounces back fairly well, too. I lost my first child when she was 16 days old, and I actually hated that my body bounced back. It was if all evidence of her had been erased, except for the c/s scar. I wish I had taken a pic of myself like you did. With baby #2 (a boy) I didn’t bounce back quite as well, but I’m nearing 40 and I think I look ok. Anyway, I related to your post in a big way and had to say thanks for having the courage to share.”
I wanted to say that sometimes those stretch marks that everyone hates can be something another yearns for. I don’t get any marks on my stomach, and the only stretch marks I’ve ever gotten were faint ones on my hips. After I had my son, my stomach went flat almost immediately. I felt carved after my c-section, and confused. I had it done under general anesthetic and I was not able to see him until after he’d died. The entire birth, and life, experience was robbed from me.
Going home with no carseat, in pre-pregnancy jeans felt unfair: I wanted something, anything, some evidence that he existed. Something other than a c-section scar that I felt ashamed of because I was forced into it. I am still coming to terms with these feelings as I await the birth of my third child. I’ve considered having a tattoo done of the only partial handprint the hospital offered me, so I could leave his mark on my body in a place no one but me would see unless I chose to show them.
Mamas: cherish your battle wounds, your stretch marks and bellies. They are beautiful; they are the footprints that your children have left behind as were created and nourished, and while you may have days where you want to hide them, others might be looking on at the majesty that is a mother’s body and appreciating them for the art they are.
Updated here.