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Update (Babs)

Previous entries here, here and here.

When my first son died, shortly after birth, I found too late that the only prints I’d been given from the hospital staff were barely worth calling prints… they didn’t even try to unfold his fingers before taking them, and even inked his knuckles rather than take the extra effort to create something memorable. I had been hoping for something clear and beautiful, but when they handed me the papers, I was devastated.
He left no marks on my body other than an ugly and unnecessary cesarean scar: I had no stretch marks or permanent weight gain, I was longing for something physical to remember him by. I wanted a tattoo of his hand in the place where it had been pressing throughout my pregnancy… but due to the condition of the prints, I didn’t know if this would ever happen.

It’s taken me years of canvasing tattoo artists to find one that was capable of not only reconstructing a good print, but also skilled enough to capture the finer details of it.

With the help of my best friend, who took prints from her newborn daughter to give a template to work from, I took the papers to a new artist in town with an amazing skill in details and shadows. She gave me a perfect copy of the size and shape of his palm… not only that, but she painstakingly worked his palm lines (the only part of his prints that was truly preserved) into the tattoo.

So here’s my fourth submission: about 1.5 months pregnant with baby number four, carrying the extra 20lbs from my last two pregnancies, covered in faded stretch marks, an ugly cesarean scar from an unnecessary surgery I still haven’t recovered from, and finally graced with a mark from my first son’s life.

in Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, Four or More Pregnancies, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo, Update
22 comments… add one
  • Anonymous Monday, October 11, 2010, 8:28 am

    Absolutely beautiful.

  • lisa Monday, October 11, 2010, 11:21 am

    that is so beautiful! i would love a tattoo of my youngest daughters feet above my heart, but i got no prints from her at all. they did do molds, but not prints. what a sad but beautiful story. congratulations on all FOUR of your children.

  • Colleen Monday, October 11, 2010, 11:47 am

    I really want to thank you for posting on here. I read your story on cesareanscar.com (and sobbed all the way through it), and I wanted to thank you for the information you posted about VBACs on your livejournal (blog? not sure which)…I just couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with you. I am dead set on a VBAC for my second child, after my first baby was born breech (and with oligohydramnios), and it was comforting to know that the rupture rate is even lower than everything I had read. I am now more confident than ever that I can do it. Thank you.

    Your tattoo turned out beautifully.

  • mell Monday, October 11, 2010, 12:04 pm

    beautiful. i am moved beyond words! congratulations on your newest pregnancy also:)

  • Nina Monday, October 11, 2010, 12:25 pm

    Thats a lovely tattoo :) I hope it brings some healing for you to have this permanent reminder of you son. Just so you know, you look awesome for having had 3 nearly 4 little ones!!!!

  • Susy Monday, October 11, 2010, 2:27 pm

    Oh hun my heart is breaking for you. I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m angry for you about the terrible prints they took.

    Your body is beautiful and so is the tattoo. She did such a great job.

  • GG Monday, October 11, 2010, 3:39 pm

    I got teary! Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing! You have a beautiful belly and the tatto my dear, is AWSOME!

  • abc Monday, October 11, 2010, 3:52 pm

    Sad story and glad to see u got some comfort. Although personally i would not put a baby’s hand only because my hubby would be creeped out, as that’s a place he normally likes to kiss lol

  • Danielle Monday, October 11, 2010, 4:18 pm

    So precious.

  • Helen Monday, October 11, 2010, 10:20 pm

    Just beautiful. Such a sad story but I am so glad that you found the right people to help you create this beautiful reminder.

  • Kendra Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 5:16 am

    I’m not even a tattoo person and I had to comment. That is one beautiful tattoo.

  • Nicole Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 7:15 am

    Adorable – I have my daughter’s handprint as well. I’m glad you were able to get it done. (((hugs)))

  • Tabitha Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 5:18 pm

    This is absolutely lovely. I am so happy that you were able to have this done and I hope that it brings you some comfort.

  • Mary V Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 5:23 pm

    Beautiful, the mommy and amazing babies!

  • Michelle Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 6:53 pm

    I’ve never been a fan of tattoos, but in your case I am so thankful that there are artists out there capable of producing that permanent reminder. It really did turn out as beautiful as your story. Congratulations on your growing family.

  • Amber Wednesday, October 13, 2010, 7:28 am

    I would never get a tattoo, but that is the best reason I have ever heard to get one… it is absolutely stunning. Im so sorry for the loss of your first son.

  • phyll Wednesday, October 13, 2010, 4:46 pm

    the most beautiful tattoo (and meaning) I’ve ever seen.

  • Catherine Thursday, October 14, 2010, 10:56 am

    What a beautiful, sad, but happy, story. I’m in tears.
    I treasure my children’s hand and footprints, so I can’t imagine how you must have felt all that time hoping for yours.
    I’m so glad you now have other lovely children, but I know that nothing can take away the pain of the one you lost.
    What a lovely memory and tattoo to have, how special

  • Sarah P. Friday, October 15, 2010, 9:44 am

    What a beautiful reminder of a special time in your life and a special baby!

  • Jess Saturday, October 16, 2010, 7:14 am

    This is the most beautiful thing I have read in a long time, and the photo is moving. I’m crying and I wont even try to blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

  • amanda Thursday, January 27, 2011, 11:17 pm

    I carried my first son full term, he passed away 25 hours later. Throughout my pregnancy, he stuck his foot out, and I could feel the outline of it, I knew it would be huge! It was, and thankfully my nurses got a good print, that I was able to take to the tattoo place. I had it done on the back of my neck, it’s my little memorial. I’m glad you found someone to do your son’s handprint, it is beautiful.

  • L Sunday, February 13, 2011, 9:47 am

    your pictures are beautiful and congrats on all your 4 children! I love the footprint tatoo . .

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