Cesarean

Trying Really Hard But Losing Hope (Sophya)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Complications in Pregnancy, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Submissions, Toxemia 11 Comments

Age: 33

Number of pregnancies/birth: 2

Age of children: 6-year-old daughter and 7 months-old son, 7 months post-partum

I’ve been visiting SOAM for the last four years since I had my daughter and I wish to thank warmly all those wonderful women who’ve had the courage to post their stories and voice out their fears. You have all been truly inspirational and sometimes, reading these stories was the ONLY thing that kept me from plunging into despair after I had my baby girl. I have always been overweight (I had to be fed low-fat milk as a baby so as not to put on too much weight), and the “thinnest” I have been in my adult life was 64 kg, which I managed to reach before my wedding in 2003 by following a horrible diet and abusing a bit on laxatives. I had my baby girl in 2006 and put on 27 kg during the pregnancy and was absolutely devastated at the state of my body after that. Over the next four years, I managed to lose 25 kg through on-and-off diets and religious exercise. I was very scared to have another baby for fear of what it would do to my body and my health again, which was fine because by that time, my marriage had somewhat broken apart and my husband and I were not having sex. Then, after a wonderful holiday in December 2010, things got patched up and we decided that having another baby would not be a bad idea, and I quickly fell pregnant in January 2011. But I had a very difficult pregnancy…I started bloating at 2 months, was anaemic throughout the pregnancy, my husband had to travel when I was 4 months along and we got robbed while my daughter and I were alone in the house, I lost all my wedding jewellery and a lot of money, had serious car problems…all that stress made my blood pressure soar and I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and had to undergo and emergency c-section at 33 weeks because my placenta had started tearing apart from the high blood pressure. After the operation, my BP still wouldn’t go down and I had to be put in ICU for 48 hrs. I felt like hell after the op. But my baby boy was in the incubator and I had to go to the clinic to try and breastfeed him everyday. After I finally came home, I had to learn caring for a premature baby (plus dealing with my 5 year old) and had no time or energy to care for myself. I started dieting and exercising about 3-4 months pp and managed to lose 9 kg in 3 months (I put on about 15 kg with this pregnancy), again by following a hell of a protein-only diet and forcing as much exercise on me as I could possibly handle. Despite all these efforts, I still feel heavy, bloated, and look like I’m still 5 months pregnant. My gynae says that my body went through major trauma during the op, my tissues are all mushy inside, my uterus is badly ruined (he’s been practically screaming at me NOT to have any other babies), so that’s why I will take more time to recover than if I had a normal delivery. I’m now running out of strength when I see that fat, massive 5-months-preggo-looking belly of mine. I don’t care about looking good again or about the stretch marks (I know I’ll forever have the pouch…it doesn’t bother me because my marriage is on the rocks again and I don’t think my hubby and I will ever have sex again, so there’s nobody to see me naked again), I just want to STOP feeling so huge. I know I have to be strong for my children, but after all these efforts, still having this massive weight to carry around is starting to bring me down. I am now 7 months PP and I’m starting to think I’ll never be my ‘normal’ self again.

The pics are me 7 mo PP and my daughter (she just turned 6) and son.

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

Okay girls I am 25 years old 5’4 and 165 wretched pounds. I have had two beautiful daughters one will be 4 in Aug and the other is 6 months. They are my life along with my amazing husband. He makes it a point to tell me how beautiful I look everyday although I beg to differ. I am a wreck after having my babies. I am 45lbs overweight and that isn’t even back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I have joined myfitnesspal.com, my local gym and do tae-bo, yoga some days at home. I do my best to control my eating and keep my work outs regular, but my stomach is a disaster zone. It is deflated like a balloon and my incision is crooked and the stretch marks are like a road map of the trials I have endured. I am learning a difficult lesson about self appreciation and love. I have been almost depressed over my current appearance and finally took a step back and realized I NEED to be positive. I need to love myself before I can fix myself and I need to give it my everything and not give up due to lack of results as I did after my first pregnancy. I want to believe my husband when he tells me I am beautiful but I do not feel that way, so this is my goal to learn how to accept a compliment instead of shunning it or having some lame comeback like yeah…right…to learn to say thank you and to love who I am no matter what I look like because I can control most of that. We are all beautiful and having beared children is an amazing gift and Bonnie is right this is exactly what a real WOMAN’S body looks like not air brushed and photoshoped, real women with real success stories and amazing triumphs over person struggles…this is us.

The first pic is of my at my baby shower…the second two are my body right now….the third/fourth is my body with clothes on now and me with my babies.

More Than a Shape (Melissa)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions 1 Comment

Age – 20
# of Births – 1
P.P – 1 week

I had the greatest love of my life ask me to marry him last year. Of course I said yes and wedding plans were in the air when I found out I was pregnant. Side note – I told him at 3 in the morning jumping in to bed because I had just taken the test because it said to use your morning pee but really had to go and didn’t want to mess anything up. Poor man was shocked. We both were since we were pretty careful. But the pregnancy was not the least bit unwanted. We moved the wedding up to August so that my dress would still fit and we already were about to move in together so timing wise everything was pretty perfect.

My pregnancy was pretty routine other than I didn’t have a midwife until I was 21 weeks and there were no doctors willing to take me as a patient. He was a perfectly healthy little boy and we were both so excited. I didn’t hate being pregnant but I wasn’t overly interested in it either. I liked feeling him move the first few times and watching him grow inside me but I never felt super connected with him which worried me a little. At 34 weeks I just started liking him more and more. I had a false labor at 35 weeks which scared everyone because it didnt seem like a false labor at the time, but after a night in the hosptial everything calmed down. For a while…

Before getting pregnant I was a fairly active person, loved to work out and running was my favorite. I continued with exercise through my pregnancy, slowing down of course and accepted the changes to my body, not right away as I complained about the strecth marks on my breasts and hips. I did get what I feel was fairly big over the pregnancy, starting at 133 pounds and going up to 170 approx when I gave birth. I was pretty upset about the marks on my hips and in the last month of pregnancy they showed up all over my legs. Another side note – I have never had any stretch marks before being pregnant so they came as a pretty big shock.

Last month of being pregnant, can we say uncomfortable? The whole pregnancy my little baby had been on my right side bunched up and my ribs were all inflamed from his constant pressure on them. Hard to breathe, couldn’t sit up, impossible to sleep (I was lucky if I could get 2 hours total a night). I was really ready for this baby to come out.

Having a midwife was really amazing. We weren’t planning on it but they had room. I was interested in having a natural birth at the hospital, and we decided to attempt to use nothing during the delivery and if not then laughing gas because it didnt affect the baby at all. I was excited to have a natural birth. At the routine 39 week appointment with my midwife, she took my blood pressure…twice and then made me lie down and took it again and then told me we needed to go to the hospital right away. I was 160/120 and mine was usually about 130/70. We got to the hospital and got checked over and over and over again and it was staying high with it’s highest being at 179/126. Even after 3 doses of blood pressure medication there was almost no change. They induced me at 6pm on Wednesday. Contractions were strong and less than 3 minutes apart after a few hours. I was 3 cm dilated but it was going slow. By 6am I was using the laughing gas which was barely sustaining me and I was getting tired. At lunch time on Thursday they broke my water hoping to speed things up because I wasn’t dilating any more. That pushed me over the edge pain wise, maybe just in my head, and I was started on Demoral since my birthing plan was pretty much out the window. I slowly started dilating and by 8pm I was about 8 cm. I was in so much pain and couldn’t stop screaming and crying and even my midwife said I should get an epidural. I finally agreed and after it starting working I was really glad I gave in. After trying to push for 3 hours and being fully dilated and nothing happening, the doctor said I would be getting a C section and there was no other choice. I was pretty upset about it but after 37 hours of labor I was pretty quick to be okay with it. The C-section was the scariest thing ever but I made it through with my husband by my side.

After it was all over I had a beautiful baby boy weighing 9 pounds exactly and was 21 inches long. A pretty big boy. But he is healthy and happy and a great sleeper. But I also have a scar that I was never expecting to have. I can complain about the stretch marks and the giant cut but it really is all in the way you look at it and thats why I wanted to write my story. My scar is the product of a little boy who came out of me the only way possible, the stretch marks a result of making this little boy the healthiest newborn there is and I got some really great breasts out of it too. I mean I think they were great before but I always felt they looked fake because they were so perky. Now they are giant round real looking breasts and I like that a lot better.

I guess my point is that your shape is more than just the way your body looks. It’s about creating a life, or many lives, and the joys and pains that it has to go through to make that happen. The life of a child is worth any scar or stretch mark that I could ever see. I know it might not feel that way and believe me I have days were I feel like a round lump of whale (just ask my husband), but it’s a frame of mind and any body that has gone through pregnancy will be beautiful in its own way and thats the simple truth of it all.

1st picture – Prepregnancy Body
2nd picture – 37 weeks pregnant
3rd picture – My precious little man at 2 days old

Scars of Beauty (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 5 Comments

I am a 23 yr old mom of 3 ages 4, 1, & 1 month old i am 8 wks pp 3 csections.I had my first @ 18 yrs old my pregnancy in the beginning was tough because I was living in an environment unhealthy to my child and to myself. Aside from the fact my child’s father was abusive the person we were living with one of his parents wouldn’t let us get food stamps, because they were too prideful and didn’t want to look like a state case. I and my unborn child were malnourished I weight less then 95lbs. Eventually I let that situation and got to a safe haven where I was fed and gained weight and my child was starting too look as though he was going to burst me open I went unmarked (stretch marks ) for 8 months then my son was born And i seen what had truly happened after my csection. I was devastated, insecure, my body had been destroyed by this cute lil baby. I grew so fast after leaving his abusive father & the environment in which We my unborn & i were being deprived of the nourishment we needed. I felt like It was a reminder of the things this person & his family put me through. But it was a reminder of our determination to thrive and survive. We made it. In 2008 We found a man to love us, his family loves us we fit right into his life perfectly. I got married i never thought I was beautiful I couldn’t stand my body so I didn’t see how a man could but he did. In 2009 3 yrs after my son was born I had my lil girl I gained not 1 extra mark she is the easiest lil person but I feared for her body and getting stretch marks like I did. And 16 months dec 2011 after her I have birth to my newest lil boy and I gained no extra from him.

These are scars that remind me of the path I chose for my survival and my 1st sons survival.

So in a way they are well earned

C-Section, Droopy Tummy, & the Bright Side (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, PUPPP Rash, Submissions 5 Comments

Photo 1: PUPPS rash and stretch marks at 7 months pregnant
Photo 2: 38 weeks pregnant. 1 week before my delivery
Photo 3: 4 months PP boobs and stomach (front view)
Photo 4: 4 months PP stomach (side view)
Photo 5: Close up of stretch marks
Photo 6: Close up of C-Section scar
Photo 7: Postpartum booty. Not too shabby

~Age: 32
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: PP 4 months

Me and my husband of 3 years are the proud parents of a 4 month old baby girl born in October 2011. She is amazing and truly one of a kind. No really, she is a rare one. She weighed nearly 12 lbs at birth! I called her my sumo baby. I was really just happy to get her out since I had one hell of a pregnancy. I had morning sickness for the first 6 months. Not necessarily puking my guts out but just nauseous and dizzy more often than I would have liked. I also had ridiculous heartburn, sciatic nerve pain and round ligament pain the entire time which woke me up every hour of the night. In regards to the heartburn, I really got sick of hearing “Your baby is going to have a lot of hair!”. Then I got the dreaded PUPPS rash which covered my arms,legs and stomach. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I wanted to burn my skin off it was so itchy. I thought, things couldn’t get worse than this. The bright side, baby looks great and healthy with each screening. Yay! Another plus, I passed all gestational diabetes screenings. Then, I go in for my 36 week ultrasound. The baby is measuring almost 10lbs at 36 weeks! I have also developed some high blood pressure (146/90). My Obgyn sends me to a high risk clinic for further testing. Ummm…now I really have high blood pressure, haha! So, I go to the high risk clinic and have a more in depth ultrasound. Again, baby is measuring almost 10lbs. Eek! And again, my blood pressure is high so they diagnose me with Preeclamsia and want me to go to the hospital. Double Eek! I spend 4 hours at the hospital getting my blood pressure monitored. Again, baby looks perfect. My blood pressure finally goes down to normal so they send me home. Now back to the Obgyn. She strongly recommends scheduling a delivery via C-Section. She says my pelvis is pretty narrow and is afraid if the ultrasounds are even close to being right there is no way I can push that baby out. After much debate, I finally cave into scheduling the C-Section at 39 weeks. I should also point out, my stomach was massive! People thought I was carrying twins in that bad boy. I gained 40lbs during my pregnancy which is about average but I swear every pound was in my stomach. I was stretched to the max. My stomach was so hard. I steered away from sharp objects for fear I may pop, ha! Paired with being covered in stretch marks and the PUPPS rash, it looked like a mangled creature in a horror movie or a burn victim. Horrendous! I had a feeling my stomach would never be the same after childbirth. I was certainly right. So, here comes week 39. I go in for my C-Section scared to death since I have never had surgery in all my 32 years. Hell, I didn’t even know how to put the hospital gown on. Clueless! Everyone is super supportive and they hook me up to the monitors. The nurse asks if I have experienced any real contractions. I say “Not that I am aware of.” Then she proceeds to tell me “Uh, you are having some pretty good ones right now!” Well considering my stomach was so stretched and hard as a rock, it would be very difficult to feel anything until they became painful. Thank goodness they scheduled me today. Phew! The C-Section went great aside from the 8 attempts it took to get the epidural needle in. Talk about uncomfortable! They kept thinking they were hitting bone but it was just my hard ass ligaments. Lucky me! The only other discomfort I experienced during the C-Section was the uncontrollable shivering. My arms shook like I was on a vibrating bed. It was really annoying. Other than that, I didn’t feel a thing. Out comes the baby! Whoa! That is what I hear from everyone on the other side of the curtain. She is huge and has a full head of hair! I guess the heartburn myth was right! I see her adorable plumpness for about 10 seconds before they whisk her to the weighing station. 11lbs 11oz! Holy crap! She checks out healthy except with all big babies her blood sugar is low. So, she is sent to the NICU. It was actually kind of funny visiting her in the NICU. Here is this giant baby surrounded by all these premie babies. If a baby death match broke out, we wouldn’t need to worry about her. Anyways, her sugar stabilized after 3 days but we couldn’t leave until I passed gas. OMG! It was the worst pain ever being so full of gas and not being able to release it. Even my shoulders hurt from it. Finally, I let out the best fart of my life! Still full of gas for a couple weeks after but at least I got to go home and be with my baby. The first couple of weeks being first time parents were a bit scary but after that we adjusted. Let me just say, I thank my lucky stars since we were blessed with a baby who likes to sleep. By 6 weeks, she was sleeping an average of 6 hours at night then by 10 weeks sleeping an average of 8 hours at night! I think God gave me this gift for having such an awful pregnancy. It has been 4 months now and I couldn’t be happier. Our marriage has gotten stronger and we have this beautiful little girl. She is now at an average weight for her age and is the cutest thing ever. The only thing I am not happy with is this sorry excuse for a stomach I now have. I know it has only been 4 months but it is frustrating when you drop all 40 pregnancy pounds within the first 2 weeks following birth but still have to carry around this relentless growth in front of you. I look fine in clothes and feel great when people compliment me but it is a whole other story when the clothes come off. That droopy thing just stares up at me snickering. My boobs are sagging a bit too but they aren’t that bad. I think it helped that my boobs were super perky before hand. I keep looking at the bright side which is my backside. Haha! I am pleased to say my ass still looks nice. A little bigger but nice. All I can do is keep on working on the tummy and eventually will see some progress. I need to keep telling myself, your stomach looks damn good for being stretched to the max and giving birth to a giant baby. I have a loving husband, a comfortable home, wonderful friends and the most beautiful baby ever. I am loving life so suck it droopy tummy! Quit raining on my parade! :-)

Turning Trauma into Triumph (Raashida)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Piercing, Postpartum, Submissions 9 Comments

Age: 26
Pregnancies/births: 1/1
1 year post partum

I am so glad I found this website! Here is my story: I had a petty easy and uneventful pregnancy. I had few to no pregnancy symptoms. Food craving, a little emotional and hypersensitive sense of smell but that’s about it. I was active duty military when I had my son and towards the end of my pregnancy I had a routine appt with a really rude and nasty, insensitive doctor. I call the commander and told him that I did not feel comfortable having my baby on base and begged and cried (literally) to be referred to an off-base hospital but they did not refer me and when I went into labor and showed up to the hospital that same horrible doctor was on call and it all went downhill from there. He talked down to me and told me basically that I didn’t go to medical school therefore I didn’t know what was going on in my own body. I was talked into getting an epidural and pitocin which put my son in distress and after 23 hours of labor I was rushed in for an emergency c-section (by a different more awesome doctor)

I was horrified and traumatized by the whole event not to mention this is my first baby and for a while I didn’t want anymore children. I filed complaint against that doctor and wrote him several letters letting him know how his terrible bedside manner forever changed my life and my view on doctors in general. For the first few weeks I did not feel connected to my baby because I was so distraught over having to lay on the bed and have him cut out of me when it could have been avoided. I felt very alone and depressed. Eventually I came out of the cloud and now I wouldnt trade my baby for all the stars in the sky :)

I struggle with my post baby body and disfiguring c-section scar and the painful memories that come rushing back every time I look at it. I don’t think I look horrible but I definitely don’t feel sexy anymore. I haven’t really worked out consistently since having my son so I know I could look a lot better with a little effort. (I am in the process of getting a personal trainer) I did bind my belly immediatley after surgery which helped tremendously in weight loss and shrinking my belly back down. I also breast fed.

Searching For My Old Self (Kathleen)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Postpartum, Submissions, Update, Uterine Prolapse, VBAC 21 Comments

I am 30 years old and the proud mother of two sons – a 21 month old and 9 week old. My first son was delivered via c-section and my second was a successful vbac.

I am very fond of this website and enjoy reading the many courageous and often inspiring stories.

I was forced to deliver via emergency c-section with my first son due to fetal distress. This was heart breaking for me, as I had so badly wanted to experience a natural delivery. I did however quickly come to terms with my dissapointment when I got to hold my sweet little boy for the first time. It may not have been a picture perfect delivery, but he was here, and healthy.

I wasn’t crazy about my new body after my first son, but learned to embrace it one day at a time. The section scar never bothered me. In fact, it was a reminder of the miracles of modern medicine and how the procedure saved my baby.

Fast forward to the present, and I am now 9 weeks post partum with my second beautiful son. I was so very fortunate to experience a successful vbac. I finally had a natural delivery and it was everything I had hoped it would be. My son did however arrive quickly and forcefully, and I sustained a second degree tear and a uterine prolapse. Needless to say, things are no longer the same down there.

My Dr stated that kegels will help a bit but I could consider surgical repair once we are through having children. I feel so disfigured, and it is truly affecting my ability to be intimate with my husband. He is wonderful, tender and supportive, but I have such a huge hang up about it, that I can’t allow myself to enjoy being intimate. This is only compounded by the fact that the sensation is decreased and I don’t like looking at my stretched out body.

I am trying so hard to overcome my hang ups. I have always considered myself to be a strong confident woman….but she seems to be hiding and I don’t know where to find her.

Updated here.

B/G Twins, 4 1/2 Months Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins 19 Comments

2 pregnancies
2 c-sections
3 kids
2 1/2 yr old girl
4 1/2 month B/G twins
My age: 30

I am 30 years old. I had my first daughter at age 27. She was 8 1/2 lbs, born by c-section due to my hips being narrow and the risk of her getting stuck. I chose the csection. She was the light of my life and in the first few months I couldnt bear to be apart from her longer than 20 minutes or I felt panicky. I hated my body. I hated the flab. My breasts looked decent still, but that was it. I gained 55 lbs and it took a year to lose it all, but my belly was still flabby. Shortly after she turned 2, we started trying for another baby. I was having bleeding for 23 days every month due to low progesterone. We fixed that problem and 9 long months later (i was nervous it would never happen), we got pregnant with twins. This was what I always wanted. Lots of kids, close together and B/G twins! I was ecstatic. I had them at 37 wks, 2 days by c-section due to my boy’s cord presenting and I was 1 cm dilated, they didn’t want to risk me going into labor. The twins were born 6 lbs 14 oz, 20 in and 6 lbs 13 oz, 19 3/4 in. Healthy. No NICU. Came home with me. I gained 65 lbs. I’ve lost 47 lbs now. I’m hideous. Im just 5’1″. And I still get asked if I’m pregnant multiple times a day, regardless of if I have the three kids with me! I have diastasis recti. Can’t do ab work. I’m helpless and in the prison of this body. Friends say, “ur amazing! U manage all 3 kids and u had 3 big, healthy babies! U carried twins to term!” Yada yada yada. Well I didn’t do that. God did. It’s all biological. It just happened. I didn’t do anything. I have 2 daughters and I desperately do not want them to feel like I feel. I want them to love their bodies. The pressure of setting this example is hard. I can’t get past it. I get nauseous when I think about getting dressed. I avoid social situations requiring me to wear more than a sweatsuit. I can’t stand my reflection. My husband says he thinks I’m hot, but in my mind, he has to brainwash himself to think that because he is married to me. Stuck with me. That fat frump with nasty frizzy hair, saggy boobs, and a permanently pregnant belly. I have to wear a belly band with sweatpants to even look decent enough to leave the house. I just can’t get past this. It is ruining my life. How can therapy make me like my reflection? It can’t. I feel helpless. Like a prisoner. And I hate I feel like this. I have thought about what would happen if I used scissors to cut my belly off. I should break my finger to punish me for being fat. I know these are crazy thoughts which is why i would never act on them, but that doesn’t stop them from entering my head. I’ve never thought about hurting my children or anything. They are the only thing that brings me happiness. Without them, I’m pointless. I’m not me. I dont know who I am…but I hate the person in the mirror. The preg pix r 2 wks b/f twins were born

30 Years in the Making (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 4 Comments

My journey from hating myself to, well, not hating myself as much.

Age: 30 Pregnancies: 1 Births: 1 via C-Section on 4/26/2011 Stay at home mom

I am almost 8 months PP and think I am finally becoming more comfortable with myself after being insecure for most of my life. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Isabella via Cesarean Section. I was 2 weeks past my due date and she was nowhere near where she needed to be. We found out that her cord was wrapped around her neck twice, and that if she did actually drop down into my pelvis, it would have been a much different outcome. She was a healthy 8.1 pounds and 21 inches and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I gained close to 50 pounds with the pregnancy, and was 192 before I went into the hospital. 2 weeks after coming home, I wound up in the hospital with excessive bleeding that no doctor could determine where it was coming from. All these factors lead to a very long recovery time, over 2 months. Before I got pregnant, I was in the gym everyday working to make myself feel better about my body. I am a certified personal trainer, and know exactly what needs to be done to look your best and be at your healthiest (even at my healthiest, thinnest point, I had very, very low self confidence) . Well, after the birth it was a totally different story. I was so unhappy with my body, yet I was not doing anything about it. My husband would say I’m crazy for getting so upset. I would close myself in the bathroom and cry for long periods of time (still do). I was (am) so so so insecure with myself that I was convinced my husband was cheating on me. And oddly enough, this was ok for me, just sitting, doing nothing about it. Until one night I was feeling so sorry for myself for looking this way, that I was like “I can’t do this to myself anymore.” I signed up for weight watchers that night. When my husband came home from work on a break, I told him I joined up. After his initial reaction (what? Why?!? How much?!) I had to explain that I NEED HELP! At this point, there was no way I can do it on my own. He understood and has been supportive since. That was a month ago. I started at 166 pounds, and am now at 154.5. My belly will not go away no matter how much cardio I do, or how many ab workouts I do. I don’t like the way I look, and refuse to be totally naked in front of my husband. I’m working at it, but in my mind it’s just not coming fast enough. I want to be the girl my husband met 5 years ago. I want to be the thin girl with nice biceps that doesn’t get winded walking the 5 flights to my apartment. I want him to look at me and think damn, I’m lucky. In the past few days, I have thought about a lot of things. I’m not perfect, and I’m not a super model. I carried a little angel in my belly for 9+ months. I’m a good mom, and take care of my daughter and my husband as best as I can. I try to be as nice as I can to everyone I meet. I turned a house into a home, and have a killer personality (lol). I no longer think my husband is cheating on me. I know he loves me, and would do anything for me. I’m not thin, and I don’t think my poochy belly will every go away. But I won’t stop working at it. And that’s all I can do. Every day is a new chance to start over. I love my life, and soon I hope to love myself just as much. And if someone judges me by my weight, or thinks wow she can stand to lose a few pounds, I feel sorry for them. I wouldn’t trade Isabella for the best body in the world. I wanted to share my story because I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and would like to say that once you stop worrying about what other people think (jerks…) you really start to feel better with yourself. It only took me my whole life to realize this…

first picture: The year I met my husband – 135 lbs size 6
second picture: 23 (?) weeks pregnant
Third Picture: 7 1/2 months PP 154.5 lbs
fourth picture: my little Isabella

Update (Elivert)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Hispanic, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 4 Comments

Original post here.

PP: 9 MONTHS
AGE: 21

After my first post I have had many changes in my life, I have a beautiful baby I love and a wonderful husband that every day brings more smiles and joy in my life and supports me unconditionally with my new body and outlook on life , because we are now parents and husband and wife.

I feel changes every day and sometimes I feel as sexy as before my pregnancy, but I look in the mirror and says, “wake up from that dream, hellooooo” and so are sometimes but I say, every woman has her charm and I’m happy with my life, my husband and my daughter that changed my life forever. Thank God Dagny is a healthy baby from birth, and it was what she loved most in my pregnancy and measures the effects on my body and so what would happen next LOL My fatty national of 10 Lbs. cesarean and every day agradesco for my baby and my husband to make me really alive and forget for a few hours of vanity. Of course the inside completely changed my life and my body is part of it too, as time goes by my appearance is improving and I am more satisfied and used to my stretch marks, I’m almost at my pre-pregnancy weight and a longer maybe lose more before another baby, but I’m still terrified, I think it will wait for the next 5 years LOL

Mothers here I leave my recent photos of my wonderful body hahaha LMAO Just kidding, but it has served to give life and show it proudly :)