Belly

Australian Ex-Professional Dancer Battles with Post Baby Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Update 26 Comments

28
one child
ten months post body
65-kg before pregnancy
95 peak pregnancy
75-kg to date,

i use to dance professionally in burlesque and cabaret-bars , having my whole job revolve around my body and my own sense of sexuality i was always great shape , having to keep toned by having a active and a healthy life style.

when deciding to have a family i had no idea what the consequences were to be upon my body , i had the idea to keep working afterward ( of course with a healthy time of to share with my baby) but i find my self with a incurably saggy belle and a thousand strong deep stretch marks , i will always have to wear a corset now if i decide to go back to work,, during my pregnancy i ate all hearted !! i ate lamb shanks , mash potato , i though to my self i am growing a baby i may as well give her all the food she needs !! or was that food for me ?? during my dancing i had to watch what i ate, it was plenty of small frequent low carb nutritious-meals , to keep my figure , so needed in the high class of exotic dancing,, i had a lot of water retention and the blue marks appeared-around week 34 and at my peak of pregnancy i had put on a whopping 30-kg but gosh those cup cakes never tasted so good !!! best yr. of my life !!!

i have lost the weight but now i am left with the saggy left over skin.

sometimes i wonder weather the skin stretched so much because i put on so much weight and it was all my own fault, but then i have two friends that were tiny ( like myself) before falling pregnant and have bellies-like my own ( very saggy and wrinkly , so i think its a mix of heritor ( my mother had the same thing ) weight gain , and skin elastic ,my daughter was two weeks over due and i was huge … my skin stretched to impossible lengths it was like i was carrying twins , ( see pic below in labour )

so i find my self kinda in a state of shock , my body has changed so quickly in just one and a half yrs. , been put through so much strain, ( created the most amazing thing in return ) but sometimes i feels hard letting go of my own body image and excepting the change .

it some times does not feel like my body, i am uncomfortable in my sexuality for the first time in my life , and find my self not wanting to share my self with my lover , i feel ashamed with the change , i am trying to love and except ,, but its not easy …

my breasts are much fuller and saggy now , i personally feel quite at peace with them in my own private life , but the thought of returning to work now and showing my breast sounds terrifying to me,, but my belli is a different matter , i am so disgusted by it i cannot even look at it ,i always am having to wear a corset , to be honest i think i just may never dance again ,, which honestly is devastating ,,, i love what i do and love bringing joy and humor to people through my shows ,, my savings were extremely healthy and i always had strong work ethics and was am proud of what it do ,i was never ready to give up dancing,, i feel like my successful business was taken away from me .

if i was GIVEN 20 thousand dollars for a breast enhancement and tummy tuck would i do it ?? YES
would i pay 20 thousand from my OWN savings for the operations ,,, NO

my hard earn money would go to my family , not myself . but god i would love to win the lotto !!!

in retrospect if i had of know back then of what i do now of my change in body i would never want it any other way ,, the joy of mother hood far out ways the way i am feeling about my body ,, one strechmark for every smiles from my baby girl ,, now that a good exchange :) , i am trying to move on and heal through this , thats why i want to say a big thank-you to all you other moms who have shared there story, you are all apart of my healing .

i am struggling to keep positive

Second entry here.

Mommy to a Flower (Meghan)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 10 Comments

Age: 18
Number of pregnancies and births: 1
The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 6 months pp, 6 months old

I was 180lbs when I found out I was pregnant . I was trying to lose weight, but having a hard time .
Throughout my pregnancy I gained 40lbs and some stretchmarks . After my daughter was born, I breastfed her, and lost all my pregnancy weight in the first week. After that, I have not been able to lose any more .

Its been 6 months, and I often find myself depressed about the way I look . I see other women, and wish I looked more like them. I am still breastfeeding, and trying to excersize as much as possible . My boyfriend always tells me he thinks I am sexy and doesnt want me to change a thing . I wish I felt the same way about myself .

The first two pictures are from my pregnancy, and the last two are 5 months pp .

Happy in My Skin (Ziona)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Plus-Sized Mom, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Surrogacy, VBAC 8 Comments

I have given birth twice so far, once by c-section, and once vaginally. My youngest is 10 months old now, and I’m finally starting to feel happier in my new skin. I have stretch marks, cellulite, sagging breasts, bags under my eyes, and the c-section “flap”. I will probably start a dance exercise program (Zumba anyone?) because I still feel the urge to tone. But my stretched out belly is still beautiful, as my son can attest when he chooses to cuddle with it instead of his daddy. I still feel beautiful all over, because the most precious thing in my life considers me to be the end all of awesome! How can I feel bad about myself when someone so perfect thinks I’m the best EVER?? I honestly can’t. And I breastfeed, so while my breasts are no longer perky, they sustain my precious child and give him comfort. He spends hours a day coming over to me and begging for a sip or a snuggle, and it makes me feel great to be so wanted and needed, regardless of whether other people think I’m too fat.

I’m hoping to be a surrogate this year, so I think I’ll do an update if it’s successful on how I’m feeling about my body after giving someone who can’t have children the gift of life! I’m so excited!

~Age: 22
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 and 2
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 10 months

Almost There! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Update 7 Comments

Original entry here.

Hi again everyone, at the time of my first submission I was about 146 lbs and just hating life altogether. I am now 130 lbs and a bit happier but still have a long way to go. I am still having trouble facing myself in the mirror and it sometimes prevents me from going to work or out of the house at all. I’m thinking I might seek help for this because I honestly feel miserable most of the time… improving physically has helped in a small way though :)

My daughter is almost 3 now and she is the happiest little girl ever, so I am very thankful for that. I just wanted to thank everyone for the support, without it I probably wouldn’t have made it this far. I know I don’t look all that different but I feel healthier so that’s a start! I’m hoping to be at my pre-pregnancy weight by the end of summer… so 2 more months to go to lose 15 or so pounds! I hope I can do it.

I will post another update when and if I make it. Bye for now.

Do I look pregnant? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Ectopic, Postpartum, Question, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 18 Comments

Hi Im really confused at this point and just want some honest opinions. I believe in “intuition” so somebody go there if you will. :)

Im a mother of 3..I had a tubal ligation in 1997 and I became pregnant again in 1999, it was ectopic and ended in surgery. I have not been worried about being pregnant again until now..I was told I had a cyst on my ovaries a few times..some very small ones but they cant ever really be sure if it was a permanent cyst or due to ovulation because both images were taken a few days before my cycle. Other than that I dont have any known conditions.

My question today is do I look pregnant or do you think I have something else causing great swelling. My stomach has continually grown over the last few months. I have taken several pics just to monitor it all but Im about to go crazy:) No positive urine test, although I had a very faint line one time I also had some opk tests which I used recently over a period of 3 days and all gave a line which I am told can sometimes detect hcg, I had an ultrasound earlier this month, it was the fastest one I ever had so I cant be positive she didnt miss anything but its said nothing was seen. The doctor noted my uterine lining was thicker than normal but could of been due to my cycle coming. I have not missed any cycles they have shortened and been less though. I have all other pregnancy symptoms such as bigger breast, heart burn, movement (quickening), cravings, tired and urinated like crazy (a few months ago), my hips have spread, and most of all I got a growing abdomen and a “crooked” darkened linea negra?

I would conclude this all in my head if only there was no movement, and no growing abdomen..So please anyone take a look and all ideas are welcome. The first pic is today 6/21/2010 The second pic is a combination of how my stomach looked in november 09 or so and 5/2010, and the last one is a few days ago 6/17. If anyone feels I am pregnant Im interested in why or how far u think ect?

Embracing My Stretch Marks (Amber)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Pregnant, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 9 Comments

Age: 21
Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
Age of children: 2, 31 weeks Pregnant

here i am at 31 weeks with our second girl, contemplating my body. i had our first at 18. i was young and fit. no stretchmarks on my belly. after i had her, i got them on my breasts and hips. but i could handle that. eventually they faded to white. i struggled with weight- at my heaviest i was 180 at 5’7. barely overweight but enough to squander any confidence. after jade turned 2 years old, i start losing weight. not lbs, but inches. i felt comfortable in my body. attractive. confident.

just as i whittle my size down to a size 9 pant size, im pregnant again. it was unexpected, but nothing we couldnt handle. my first thought was “oh great. im going to get fat again.”

right now im 204, my heaviest ive ever been. i also got my first stretchmarks on my belly. they’re small and just pink. so im hoping that they’re going to heal quickly. before i got them, i had intentions of going out to the public pool and flaunt my beautiful pregnant body. this is a time where i dont have to suck in my gut or hide behind layers of clothes bc of cellulite. but when i got the marks, all of that was lost. i now swim with a tank top on.

the first time my fiance saw the stretchmarks, he asked me what they were. did i get them from laying on the couch? i was ashamed and embarrassed. i started sobbing and acting like a fool. he of course was confused. i explained to him that they were indeed stretchmarks. he hugged me and told me that i was still beautiful.

i dont feel beautiful. i have horrible acne on my face from the hormones. and im huge. everyone thinks im due next week bc of how big i am. i have the weird hanging fat under my belly. and then the stretchmarks.

i hope before the baby gets here, i can learn to embrace my stretchmarks. that i can learn to love my womanly body. the body i am meant to have. but i cant help but see and envy these celebrities who look like they’ve been pregnant.

The P90X Experiment (Mary)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Positive Body Image/Words of Enouragement, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy, Update 13 Comments

Original post here.
Website: https://slowthisridedown.blogspot.com/

When I wrote “Mirror, Mirror on the wall….Who’s the Most Damaged Mother of them All?” last year I thought that was the end of my journey in accepting my body…little did I know it was just the beginning! I submitted my article to SOAM in February and it was posted on March 9th, a hard day for our family as it’s the anniversary of the death of our niece and nephew, but all the beautiful comments to the article made the day much brighter, thank you!

Over the past few months I’ve been shocked over and over by…how I really do NOT hate my body anymore! It’s a hard feeling to get used to that’s for sure. And I think that loving who you are makes it easier to let go and stick with a healthier lifestyle (for me anyways, I know all mothers are different)…because you know you deserve to treat yourself better. Since I wasn’t depressed about my body I stopped binge eating and had more energy to work out. I even started going to the gym, something I had been too embarrassed to do before, which brought on a whole new appreciation of my body as I watched it change shape once again. My gym is closed for the summer so for the next few months I am attempting to do P90X and I’m blogging about it so that other mothers can follow along and see if it’s the right program for them. The neat thing is that my hubby is doing it with me! 2 years ago I would have never been comfortable enough with my body to huff and puff half naked in front of him but now there is no embarrassment and we are having so much fun working out each night!

This site is amazing and I love how it’s changing so many minds about beauty. A year ago I would have died of embarrassment if anyone had saw one of my stretchmarks….and now I wear a sports bra while I work out and hope that everyone sees them so that they will start to think of them as normal on a mother!

Age: 29
Births: Three
Children: 12, 10, 4

Photos:
1. Me, one year ago.
2. My belly, before I started working out a few months ago.
3. Me today, 50 pounds lighter.
4. My belly today!
5. I love this photo because I think that the stretchmark that is showing is so beautiful.

Labor Story and Accepting My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 8 Comments

This is my story, just to get it out there for others to share.
My EDD was October 29th 2009

October 29th came along, and passed. I was miserable, I felt huge, and I was tired of having my sciatic nerve pinched to the point I couldn’t move. I can’t count the number of times my fiance had to roll me over because I was unable to. I was supposed to be holding my bundle of joy at this point, but it seems she had other plans for us. I had gone in for a regular appointment, just to check up on things, and was scheduled an induction..after being 2 weeks late.
On November 10th I did the dishes, packed and repacked my bags, and went to wal-mart to get a movie to watch while waiting for my little girl to finally be in my arms. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 p.m, went inside, signed in, and was given my room. After fighting with the robe for a good 45 minutes, the delivery doctor came in to check up on things. My cervix was completely closed and I was only 70% effaced. I was given Cervidil tape to soften my cervix at 7:40 p.m.
At about 9:00 p.m. I started having contractions, not horrible, just uncomfortable. I was able to watch my movie and call my mom letting her know I was to start pitocin Thursday morning around 8:40. Around 11 I was started to feel less uncomfortable and more in pain, I asked for a sleeping pill, as I had been up all the night before too excited to sleep. I was given my sleeping pill and told if it didn’t work, I was in labor. After an hour of being up and down to the bathroom I finally woke Devan to stay up with me. He kept telling me I was in labor, but after being told I wasn’t going to be able to walk, talk or let alone breathe during real contractions, I wasn’t convinced, I was doing all three with no problem. Besides the fact that I was telling Devan I changed my mind and wanted to go home. I even broke the little throw up cup I was given.
Around 12 a.m. I called the nurse to be checked, I was only 1 cm, which wasn’t very encouraging for me. The nurse told me she could take it out, but it’s working and she wanted to keep it in, and even being out it wouldn’t stop labor. Which, in my head, it soooo would stop the pain! I was still medication free, I was given a labor ball and hot towels for my lovely back labor.
At 3 a.m. I asked to be checked again, and was 4c.m. They took the Cervidil out and gave me a Nubane drip, because I was exhausted and had a sleeping pill in my system. I wanted to go all natural, but it seemed if I didn’t get some sleep, I was in for a long labor. Shortly after they hooked me up to my best friend Nubane, I was passed out in a deep sleep. With my drip, I was laboring in my sleep, I would wake up, push through the contraction, and go back to sleep. At first my nurse was telling me not to push, and after I was whimpering that I was sorry and couldn’t help it, she decided that my body had taken over and left me alone. She was amazed and had pulled in other nurses to watch my sleep labor.
At, 4:00 a.m. they hooked me up to my antibiotics, as I had tested positive for Strep B. At 4:56 I was 9 c.m. so they broke my water, I had told them in the beginning that our family labors very quickly, but they apparently didn’t believe me. 4:57 a.m. I started pushing, and they called my mom to come in. Her response? “Is there any point in me coming? I won’t make it there!” she was told yes, come it’ll be awhile before she has the baby.
At 5:06, I had my beautiful baby girl, after only 11 mins of pushing and 6 pushes total. She was out and not happy about it either. I didn’t cry, I thought I was horrible for not crying, I see all these pictures of the mother crying, but All I could do was look at this little face in awe and wonder. My mother did not make it to the birth, I wish she had been able to, but she was about 5 mins too late.
I was only able to nurse Charlee for about a week, I still beat myself up over it for not trying longer. She never latched on right, which caused me to crack and bleed. She was unable to digest blood and would spit up everything, even pumping wasn’t helping my supply, and I eventually dried up. But she’s healthy and happy and that’s all that matters.

After I had Charlee my body was all sorts of different. I’m having a hard time excepting my new body as it is. I know my body doesn’t look bad but I’ve always had image issues, and stretch marks all around my breasts, thighs, butt, calves and hips hasn’t helped this. I have decided I need to accept this body, as it is beautiful. It gave life and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. I am soon to go to the pool with my 7 month old daughter, sporting a nice string bikini. If nobody wants to see, they don’t have to look. And I’m nervous, but I’m okay with that.

I’m sorry this was all over the place, as well as the picture, they jump around, I hope you enjoyed my story, I’m sure there will be more about my adventure in my acceptance of my new body. The bra pictures are about 6 months postpartum.

-My age-19
-Number of pregnancies or birth-1
-Age of my child-7 months old

Coming To Terms With Being Pregnant (Anon)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, Eating Disorder, First Pregnancy, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 15 Comments

Age: 22
Pregnancies and births: currently pregnant (4 months)

I found out I was pregnant March 24, 2010. It was a shock for both me and my husband, and I cried when I called to tell him. I wish I could be noble and say that they were tears of joy, but I was shocked, upset, and did not want to be a mother.

I’ve been obsessed with my weight since I was 10 years old. In high school I developed an eating disorder, but my weight remained between 140-150 at 5′ 7″ The lowest I ever got was 135 and you could count all my ribs. I always felt fat, always felt that number on the scale was the only thing that mattered. I carry a LOT of muscle in my legs and have always been pretty thin on top, so it’s hard for me to look healthy when my weight gets too low. I met a man who thought I was beautiful inside and out, grew comfortable with my body and stopped fighting it. Four years later, we went on vacation while I weighed 174, and while I wished I weighed less, I didn’t think I looked entirely undesirable. When my hsuband went out to sea (he’s in the Navy) I went about frantically losing weight, exercising, dieting religiously… when he got back 3 months later I lost 30lbs and settled at 145.

Three months later I had settled at a non-dieting weight of 154… and that’s when I found out I was pregnant. And that positive test result was like a death march in my head: YOU ARE GOING TO BE FAT. And there’d be nothing I could do about it. I’ve been making peace with the idea of gaining weight, it’s not easy. I had to start eating throughout the day when I was used to eating one or two meals and occasionally purging. I’ve been chilling around 163 for the last three weeks. I try to exercise every day– I have leg weights I do lifts with, a treadmill and stationary bike– I want so badly to be fit for my pregnancy so that after the bit I can go back to being the way I was.

My husband’s shipmates tease him by saying I’ll gain like crazy and I’ll be a whale…. to his credit, he sticks up for me and says I’m too devoted to my body to let self go like that and whatever weight I do gain will not make me fat, it’ll make me pregnant. I’ve found that I love hearing him say that. Do I look fat? No, baby, you look pregnant. I could get used to that. I’m grateful that I’ve managed to find a man who has never once used my physical body to put me down. He’s never called me fat, never said anything derogatory toward me.

I do love this site. It makes me feel like I have the courage to face what may happen to my body with a little dignity instead of running from it like a child. I’ll definitely post again when I really start showing… right now the suspect baby bump comes and goes. I don’t want to be stick thin anymore. I’ve made enough peace with my body that I can accept it’s beautiful as it is; I no longer think models like Miranda Kerr and Alesandra Ambrosio are healthy-looking or that their bodies are particularly enviable… I am built like a woman, I could never look like a little boy, it’s not in my genes. I’ve grown to respect and adore models like Lizzie Miller and Crystal Renn, they have the womanly figure and make me aspire to look more like Aphrodite… not Angelina. When I look at their beauty, it gives me confidence that I can stay healthy through this pregnancy and still be beautiful afterwards— even with a few stretch marks and extra pounds.

First Picture: me, July 2009 (174 lbs)
Second Picture: me, December 2009 (145 lbs)
Third Picture: 15 weeks along (163 lbs)
Fourth Picture: 16 weeks along (still 163, but where did the bump go??)

Updated here, here and here.

She Changed My Life (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) African American, Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 16 Comments

28 years old/ 1 pregnancy/1 birth/12 months postpartum

First off, I would like to say that I appreciate this site and the support that it offers to mothers. I have been visiting it ever since I was about 7 months pregnant, and it has been cathartic to me and my struggle with my body. Here is my story:

I grew up thick. Being classified as an African American, thick connotates having a little extra meat to love on your body. My parents, family, and friends never criticized my looks and I always felt like I was accepted. After leaving for college, I developed some poor eating habits( eating fast food everyday) and I topped out weighing about 185lb and being a size 12. Im 5’8 so it didnt look bad, but I wasn’t healthy. One day in 2006, I looked at my body in the mirror, and I hated the reflection. So I did something about it. I joined a fitness center, and with the help of a personal trainer, I dropped 40lb and got down to a size 4. My confidence and self esteem went through the roof! And I was beating the men off needless to say….I met my husband during this physical journey also. After having quite a few ups and downs over the next two years, we decided to consciously get pregnant.

After making this decision to bring life into this world, I was pregnant two weeks later! We were happy and excited to have a combination of ourselves coming into our lives. I had bad morning sickness until I was five months pregnant, and lost a few lbs, but after the sixth month, I was hungry again!!! I got to about 34 weeks with no stretch marks, until one morning I noticed one creeping up the bottom of my belly. It was a wrap after that. Everyday it seemed I developed a new mark. I had a really hard time accepting this. I had hoped to be one of the “lucky” ones, and not have any, and I slathered on raw shea butter and oil daily. Needless to say, as She grew, I was covered in stretch marks. And I gained a hearty 36lbs. From side to side, past my belly button, which looked weird and popped out. I went past my due date, which was June 7th.

Early in my pregnancy, I had planned to have a natural birth. I exercised throughout my pregnancy, ate heartily and prepared myself mentally with childbirth classes and lots of reading. The OB decided to break my water on June 9th. I chose a hospital that had nurses familiar with the natural birthing process, and they allowed me lots of movement during my labor. I even got to get in the shower while I was transitioning, which kept me from losing my mind! My daughter was born on June 10th, unmedicated, and when her head popped out I didn’t feel anything but joy! (Seriously) She opened her eyes and looked around the room before her body was out. It was the best experience of my life, and I will never forget that day.

I had a minor tear that took three stitches, and I was ok with that. But back to my body. My tummy was black and wrinkly at first. I used belly bandits to shrink it and I nursed my daughter until she was 6 months old. I did have tummy skin that I was unfamiliar with. How am I going to fix this? So about 2 weeks after I began walking, and as the months went on I gradually increased my activity. I had a lot of support from my husband to work out, despite whatever issues we had. I was a full time student, and I managed to stay in school, work out, and take care of my daughter. I had help from family and friends, and I’m very thankful for that. I know some women aren’t as blessed. I lost all my weight plus some by the time she was 9 months, but still was paranoid about my marks and extra skin. My husband and I had a lot of problems and this made me feel worse.

I started P90x about 2 months ago, and it really helped tone up my midsection and whole body. I still have the marks and skin, but you can hardly see it. It still moves and flaps a bit when I sit down. I have thought about tummy tucks, but I actually am fitter now and look better in clothes now than before I had her. The jury is still out about the tummy tucks…I don’t have the money, and the down time could drive me crazy. I’m a fitness junkie now.

Thank you for reading this long post, I have been waiting over a year to submit it. I am including some pictures of my stomach and breasts, as well as a picture of my love, Aashima. I feel like more of woman now, I have so much motivation to be successful, and I owe it to her.

The pictures are all 12 months postpartum. And the photo of Aashima is at 8 months.