Belly

Finally gaining acceptance for my “mummy body!” (Sonja)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Teen Mom 2 Comments

Age: 20
Numer of pregnancies: 1
Number of children: 1
nearly 13 months postpartum

This website is awesome – finally somewhere I can share my feelings & get some understanding support! Ever since falling pregnant & having my son I’ve felt extremely isolated about my new “mummy body” & felt as if no-one understood me when it came to my body issues. I fell pregnant as the age of 18 & had my son when I was 19. Before having him I pretty much had the perfect body in my eyes & never ever had any issues with myself – that soon changed as the pregnancy pounds piled on! I put on 2 stone 9 pounds in total which doesn’t seem a lot but to me this was a major thing for me to deal with as I was always only just the right weight for my height. It’s taken me nearly 13 months to loose nearly all the pregnancy weight but I’m feeling so much better about myself & have started not getting so worked up over the fact that I don’t have that so-called perfect belly.

My main issue with my new body was my stretchies – I HATED them with a passion & I’ve been known to cry about them quite a bit too. I got them when I was 34 weeks pregnant & I got them on my boobs, my belly, my hips, my bum & all over my legs including the backs of my calves! Over time they have faded lots but to me they’re still quite a hang-up but thankfully I’m learning to accept them. Only a few months ago i managed to finally bare my legs out in public again which was a huge step for me. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to gain enough confidence to be able to wear a bikini again & I ahte those all in one swimming costumes but am still to concious of my belly to get it out in public. One of my favourite quotes that always cheers me up about my stretchies is: “Your body is not ruined – you’re a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes!” =D

I just wanted to share how I feel & share a few picture of my pregnant belly & how I am now so that other mummies who may be feeling the same as I have been know that they’re not alone & that in time they’ll be able to feel better about themselves & what-not.

Must say though, I wouldn’t change having my “mummy body” for the world as without it I wouldn’t have my gorgeous litlle boy & he’s by far worth every single mark I have & every single pound I gained! Love my son millions <3 =) xx pictures incuded - 8 week bump, 40 week+ overdue bump, nearly 13 months postpartum front view, nearly 13 months postpartum side view, me & my son Jakoby (photo taken by my lovely fiance) [gallery]

Stretch Marks Are Beautiful! (Ashley)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, PCOS, Postpartum, Submissions 5 Comments

Age: 22 Pregnancies: 1 Births: 1 age of child: 5 months, 5 months PP

I met my husband while working at a restaurant in my hometown. I was 16 and his parents owned the restaurant. His name is Samuel and he is 7 years my senior, needless to say, everyone doubted our relationship. However, we fell in love very quickly and dated for 3 years before finally tying the knot on June 20, 2009. Very soon after we decided to have a baby. Much to our dismay, we discovered that I have PCOS and getting pregnant would be a difficult task. Being only 19 a few doctors refused to help me (that is a whole other story). Finally, we found a truly wonderful doctor and after almost 2 years of trying we were finally pregnant! My pregnancy was very rough in the beginning. I was very ill most of the day and didn’t sleep well at night… I lost 25 pounds in 2 months. None of that mattered the minute we heard the heartbeat. My husband (who was away on business) drove all the way home to South Carolina from Ohio just the be there! It was a wonderful time… On February 6, 2012 we welcomed Sydney Elisabeth by cesarean… She was health, beautiful and BIG… 9lbs. 7oz and 22 inches long. My figured was ruined lol… At first I struggled with it but my husband is a wonderful man and he tells me everyday that I am still just as beautiful as the day he met me. Sydney is our world and I would do everything the exact same way… My stretch marks may be repulsive to some and I may never wear a bikini again but to me they are a reminder of the most blissful time of my life so far. To me and my Samuel, my body is perfect and my stretch marks are BEAUTIFUL!!

In my golden days – a butter face at best. (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Teen Mom 29 Comments

I’m 21 years old, I have two kids. One just turned 2years old, while the other just turned 8months a few days ago. Both natural births, pretty much perfect the only good thing. I was only actually pushing for 10 minutes with the first baby and 5minutes with second baby, my labors were a breeze. I’m so lucky in that sense. I’m 8months post partum. I had them very close together. I never got the chance to really get back into shape when I became pregnant with my second child. I was down to a normal weight from breastfeeding, but I never really got the chance to work out and really tone myself up. I had known my husband for all my life.He knew me when I was still very much in shape. He’s told me how he was intimidated by my abs, and how fit and good looking I was,(I danced and played softball [catcher]) and how doughy I am now. I’ve always struggled with body image. I have always been a inwardly materialistic person. I don’t judge others, when I see others I think everyone is beautiful, but when I look in the mirror, at myself, I see the one person in the world that’s Ugly, most likely Inside* and Out*. My husband one time told me that people have told him I was* a butter face (everything’s good but her face) But now I wouldn’t even be considered that really. But in my “golden” days At least I had a body to speak of.

My life is pretty messy right now. I’m getting a divorce. He could claim that flirting with girls, telling them “If I wasn’t married I’d come save you” and emailing himself nude photos of these girl so he could keep them but delete them from his phone (hiding it from me) was acceptable. I Never confronted him about the photos ever. I knew what his response was.

He’s always wondered why I have body issues telling me “I love you darling, and you are perfect to me, that’s what matters, I find you sexy” But a lot of the burden of my issues became magnified 3 weeks after I had my first child, I found saved pictures of a girl he dates (a woman who shared my name) in her sexy halloween costume (it wasn’t even August yet….) and of her doing her “pole dance” routines. She has a wonderful body. I couldn’t help but think “this is the girl he wants”

He never really helped me with the kids, and I’ve always picked up the slack, I never got ME time. I never shopped for myself. I gave everything and received nothing, and to me this was normal, and not toxic, to me I still see it as acceptable behavior.

I was texting a co worker- a male. He sent me a photo of himself with his ‘hair’ cut; it was provocative, but unprovoked (unlike my husbands female counterparts where he’s asked for them) He found it, I left my phone in the car with him, cause in my eyes I had nothing to hide, he got the text.

This to my husband WAS cheating. in HIS HEAD i was a whore, who had sex with this man and did terrible things. He berated me in front of his family brought them all in, people I loved as much as my mom and dad. People who treated me like family and he painted me this snake, something awful. I was shamed in front of people I loved dearly for something that wasn’t my fault. Maybe talking to this man was a bad idea, but much of the time I was talking about my issues with food, how I had been restricting my diet, how my felt about my mother in law who to me is my MOMMY was dying of cancer, how I didn’t know how I could handle her death. how I didn’t know how to handle Sergio’s reaction. How what he’s done hurt me. This man listened, unlike my Husband. And he would try to flirt but i ALWAYS drew a line telling him “I’m a married woman and in no way will I betray my Husband ” He sent the photo and in the end I took responsibility for it, to me my actions were still inappropriate and I am not excused.

But never were his, but he felt they were.And to me – that was enough.

My husband was my first love, first kiss, and he took my virginity. I believed all his words.

We are now separating and divorcing – he’s been dirty and so completely opposite of what I thought I married – he’s been a monster. He kept me from my kids for a month with bogus protective orders and played the court like a toy. (they didn’t appreciate it in the end and i now have my kids)

I didn’t eat much this entire month, I honestly can’t recall eating anything. I must have though otherwise I would have passed out – I nearly did in court.

I missed my oldest sons 2 year birthday. It killed me, I still cry about it sometimes.

I drank water hoping to drown myself. My only thoughts were “Soon this will be over and I’ll have my kids i can only speak the truth and the truth will guide me to my children (it did) And in this moment I can’t bare to eat is a moment I can have my body back – I’ll be skinny soon enough”

I have terrible wrinkles from where I guess my skin stretched and jammed together like a spring set loose. I have two belly buttons it weight. dragging down. I want it gone.

I still can’t eat much, my body has gotten used to such a small amount of food that it sickens me to eat, and when I do I feel disgusting. I just want to be the size i was when I started to date Him.

16 – maybe it will be a reset button. I don’t do it for other men – I don;t think any man will accept me with two children. At least not in the town I’m in, but this place is all I know. My life is pretty much over but at least I can be happy with my body. And make my children’s joyous and fulfilling. for me though all i Want is to look in the mirror and say “wow flat stomach skinny waist beautiful collar bone, gorgeous legs, and a cute butt”

I reached 150lbs with my first pregnancy, dropped to 135 Until I got pregnant again and reached 155 lbs with my second.

I am now 120lbs, But my stomach is still there. I want to get down to 100. I’m doing INSANITY. even with my minute diet. I wake up feeling smaller, But i fear its all in my head and i’m diluting myself

I’m afraid I’ll never get rid of this saggy wrinkly thing. I’ll always have a “w” and a double belly button. that when I’m laying on my side this GROWTH will roll over lazily like jabba the hut.

I feel like even if I don’t seem like a terrible person with my story – I know I am a terrible person in some way. I know I am. I’m not good enough for anyone. Inside or Out. I read some of these entries and cry wishing i could be half the woman these gals are. But I have these two amazing boys, my only blessing. My only gift. The only thing that makes my heart worth beating.

And people tell me to be proud of my belly cause they were the result – but I see them, and they are in my heart. I don’t need this belly I don’t have to be proud of this belly.

For me I see this belly as a curse, maybe if i was a better person god, the cosmos, whatever would have blessed me with the ability to be skinny.
That my life would have fallen like puzzle pieces instead of shattering like glass.

I have to rebuild everything that I worked so hard to gain – and in the end I feel like “what if I really am just a worthless weight, and this belly is just showing me how true it is”

thank you for this website it’s an inspiration and this has been a great outlet.

(Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Legs, Submissions 7 Comments

I have lost 15lbs since last post. I am now 13 months PP. I don’t know if there is any more hope to this belly. I am semi-satisfied with my body. However, I want to try some lotions & exercise & see if that will make a difference. Because I have yet to REALLY devote any time or effort to making changes with diet, & target-ing specific areas to work out. As you can see, some pictures I am tightening my belly, & it looks a LOT better when I make a muscle with it. I am hoping to get it that way thru exercise. Also, my husband says if I want, he’ll pay for me to get a tummy tuck. I am unsure at this point if I really want to go through with it, because, what are my motives? As a Christian, I don’t know if it’s right to care as much as I do with how I look, shouldn’t I just be satisfied with what I have, and not soooooooo consumed!? Ugh!.. I am happy with my husband, he is the only person that “has” to see me naked, & I can wear a one piece to the beach!!!!! Who caresssssss! I don’t think I’ll really get a tummy tuck. I just want to be healthy, and in shape. :)

Wishing For Once In My Life I Could Have That Flat Belly Everyone Else Has! (Kylee)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 9 Comments

Age: 22
Number of Pregnancies and Births: One Pregnancy and Birth
My Son’s Age: Almost 20 Months
Pre- Preg Weight : 150Lbs
Weight Post Partum : 165Lbs

Hello fellow Mommas! I am new to SOAM as of, well.. now. And Im so happy that I have found a place that I can come to and be myself.. You’re stories are absolutely empowering and I cant believe at how many other women are out there who feel the same way I do everyday!

Well, here it goes.. Before I got pregnant I was with my son’s father for 2 months but we had known each other for approx. 2 years prior to dating. I was about 150 lbs then, my stomach has never been flat ever in my life and i have always had that “pocket” as I would call it. Well during our relationship he would always call me beautiful and sexy, but then he would be texting the same things to his ex girlfriend. Well when I was 3 months pregnant, he was always going to see her and we were always fighting so I left to make life better for my unborn child when he arrived. My son’s fathers ex was a super sized woman when they dated but she had been working out and now is absolutely stunning with her flat tummy and great butt.. As you would guess, this made my esteem lower because clearly he would rather someone with that body type..

As I got bigger and more and more pregnant, he started telling me how fat I looked and how ugly my stretch marks were.. That I started hating myself before my son was even born. I ended up delivering at a hefty 198Lbs. I haven’t been with his father since I was 3 months pregnant and haven’t really had a boyfriend since then either. I feel alone all the time which causes me to be depressed. I feel like no one wants me because of the way I look. I cry every time I look into the mirror. I keep diet jumping or starving myself so that I wont be so ugly anymore. I just wish that someone (a man especially) would come into my life and sweep me off my feet and tell me religiously how beautiful my body is. It is so hard to feel beautiful when you cant even keep a boyfriend while looking the way you do..

Although I don’t like the way that I look right now, I’m sure that being on this site with all of you supportive and beautiful mama’s out there will assist me in gaining better self-esteem. Thank you so much for listening.

Pictures are as follows : Pre pregnancy , While pregnant, Right after birth (pajama pants) , Now(shorts) and (pantless) lol.., And then my beautiful son a couple days ago. <3 [gallery]

Please help me with my belly! (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 33 Comments

Please tell me that my stomach will go down??!!! I am 10 weeks postpartum. This was my first pregnancy, and 2 weeks after giving birth I weighed 6 pounds less then before I got pregnant. I have since lost another 5 pounds. I ended up having a c-section after 18 + hours of labor. Perhaps I am being rediculous, but I am so upset that my stomach is still so puffed out!! This is exactly what I looked like at 29 weeks pregnant. I know my stomach will never be the same, but I don’t want to look pregnant for the rest of my life!!!

Love Being a Mom, Dislike the Body (Brittney)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Teen Mom 3 Comments

Age:20
1 son, age 15 months.

My name is Brittney, I am 20 years old and have a son who is 15 months old. I found out I was pregnant about a month after I graduated high school and about a week after that, my boyfriend and I moved about four hours away from my hometown to be closed to his family. It was a very difficult move for me. However, I loved being pregnant. I loved the feeling of having something growing inside of me and I loved being able to wear those skin tight shirts to show off my round belly. During my pregnancy, I gained about 30 pounds, which my doctors told me was healthy. (I was 145lbs prepregnancy). I had my son in April of 2011 and it was the greatest day of my life. He is my everything. I have since been a stay at home mom, so my son and I are very close. (Sometimes my husband gets jealous, because he works a lot) I lost my baby weight completely at about two months postpartum, but slowly gained it back through the winter months. About a week ago, I weighed about 160, which is 15 pounds heavier than prepregnancy and I wasnt happy. I would love to comfortably fit into a bikini, but Ive never had the ambition. Ive just started exercising and have started losing a few pounds. I hope to get down to about 135 and be able to tighten up the “muffin top.” Hopefully I can lose some by the end of summer.

The first three pics I have posted are my current body. (Weight 155)
The last pic is my son, age 15 months.

Trying to be Patient: With My Body and My Husband (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Butt, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 45 Comments

~Age: 27
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 home births
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 weeks PP

I am 4 weeks to the day PP with my second pregnancy. And like with my first pregnancy I don’t have much to show for it. During the course of my first pregnancy, I gained 18 pounds (although, when asked I lie and tell people I gained 20). And why for God’s sake is anyone asking what a woman gained during her pregnancy anyway? She gained a baby! Anyways..

I was cognizant of my weight gain, or lack there of. Comments from my friends or strangers pointing out how skinny I was only made me feel worse. I even had a few people tell me that I was going to have a tiny 5 lb baby. I bit my tongue and thought I (we) will prove them wrong. I was determined to gain weight. I wanted to have a home birth and so I knew how important it was to maintain a healthy and low risk pregnancy. I kept a record of what I ate, I ate every few hours, whether I had an appetite or not and I made a goal to eat at least 80 grams of protein a day. In the end, my son was 5 days over and I gave birth (at home) to a beautiful and healthy 8.0 lb 22 inch baby boy.

My second pregnancy was along those similar lines. I gained 25 lbs. I wore my regular clothes until I was 7 months pregnant. No retaining water, no stretch marks, no vaginal tear during delivery, blah blah blah. You are hating my right now. But please let me take this time and space to get this off my chest, because I can’t talk about this with my sister-who gained nearly 90 lbs with my nephew and has stretch marks covering her hips. And I can’t explain my feelings of dismay about my body with my best friend-who just had her first baby and gained 70 lbs and looks like Freddy Kruger tried to claw his way through her stomach.

This is my husband’s first child. At 5 months pregnant, he started to lose interest in sex and by 8 months it was completely gone. For me it was the exact opposite. If I had been a sexual creature before being pregnant, I had become a sexual MONSTER during pregnancy. So when he finally told me he wasn’t comfortable having sex until after the baby was born, I was… sad, mad, disappointed, confused.. etc. He blamed it on my huge belly (which really wasn’t that huge). Finally he admitted that he just wasn’t attracted to me. Ouch.. I tried being empathetic while at the same time I was completely enraged. ‘ I have needs God Damnit! I don’t care if you are not attracted to me!’ But instead I told myself to be patient. And even though I was told by strangers constantly that I was such a cute pregnant woman or that I looked great being 9 months pregnant or getting whistled at (twice) while getting into my car, the only person I wanted to find my attractive didn’t, so none if it really mattered.

I stopped being comfortable being naked around him and would wear my towel from the bathroom to the bedroom. I got dressed standing behind the closet door. I started sleeping in his t-shirt and boxers instead of just my underpants. I had the sense that he was completely repulsed by me. I tried explaining to him how this was affecting me and that I needed to feel desired by him. But my pleas didn’t hold any water. I was worried about how this tension between us would affect our planned home birth. If I am this uncomfortable around him now, would I feel comfortable laboring with him? Would it cause me to have complications during my labor?

And then the day came and we labored together just fine and it was the happiest (along with the day my son was born) day of my life. And for the next few weeks I contentedly set about fulfilling the task of 24/7 care of my daughter. Then last week I stopped bleeding. Hurray! I cautiously talked to my husband about the cessation and opened the discussing with him about when he would feel comfortable having sex again. He didn’t seem so thrilled. But the next day we tried. It was OK. Probably pretty average for the first time you try to have sex after baby. But that was a week ago and even though it’s been two months since we have had sex (except for our first “try” last week) he is showing no interest at all. And my self esteem is plummeting. He blames it on, ‘I am a mother now’ and he sees me in this “motherly light” and our daughter is always nursing and she is in bed with us and blah blah blah.

Just because I am a mother doesn’t mean I handed over my right to being sexy and that I no longer want to be desired by my husband.
So SOAM, here I am 4 weeks PP with my body in great shape for just having had a baby and…. I HATE it! I want my husband to desire me and he doesn’t. Fat or skinny, it does not matter what you look like if the man you are madly in love with has no interest in being intimate with you.

Young Mother of Two, Nearly Six Years Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Legs, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 4 Comments

Age: 28
Pregnancies: 2
Births: 2, both vaginal.
I have 1 girl age 9 and 1 boy age 5.
Nearly 6 years postpartum.
Height & weight: 5’1 3/4 (those 3/4 totally count) & 124lbs.

Like many of you here, I’ve never liked my body. I was a teen mother, pregnant at 18. Before I had kids I struggled my my self loathing, but for different reasons than most. I was too thin, before my wonderful girl I was 87lbs. I did everything I could to gain weight, I ate donuts every day put butter, mayo & cheese on everything I could, tried to be as inactive as I could bear. I was still boney and angular, I felt I looked like an 8 year old, not the woman I was. Who could ever want me, when my body was covered in points? I wore baggy clothes to hide myself and carefully avoided touching people so I wouldn’t stab them with my angular hips and boney elbows. I panicked when people tried to tickle me, because if they touched me they would know how disgusting I was.. Just a walking skeleton. No one could ever love bones, my hugs would comfort no one. When I wore a bathing suit I wore T-Shirts over them so no one would see how my breastbone protruded from my chest and spent the whole time in the water or pulling the shirt away from my body in hopes no one would notice my child form. Well-meaning people handed me pamphlets telling me that there were people who would help me with my anorexia that I didn’t have. I tried wearing multiple layers of stretch pants under my jeans to make myself look thicker, but the biggest pair I owned were size 3. People still handed me pamphlets, brought me plates of food and watched me to make sure I didn’t go anywhere after eating. I understood how they felt, I looked sick and how could that just be the shape I was without starvation. Boys called me “Breastless” as a nickname and teased that I would be a virgin all my life because I wouldn’t ever look like a woman. Teenagers suck.

Eventually I found someone who didn’t see me that way and to make a long story short, we got pregnant. I got stretch marks all over my lower back and breasts, big ones. My face swelled up like a balloon. Towards the end of my pregnancy I got some matching ones on my hips, belly & thighs. My skin never stretched well, got stretchmarks on my tiny hips at 12 and all over the back of my calves one summer. So although I coated myself in greasy cocoa butter 3 times a day, it wasn’t surprising that I got stretchmarks while my girl was growing. All in all I gained 47lbs, my obgyn was thrilled, due to my low prior weight they wanted me to gain a lot. She was born (6lbs 9oz) and I made the mistake of looking into a full length mirror when she was a week old and burst into tears. As time went by, my stripes faded and I got less swollen looking, my weight dropped to 105. I couldn’t understand why my tummy never went away, although I was pretty happy at being able to finally put on some weight and look more normal. I even got boobs out of the deal, although breastfeeding made my areolas stretch much bigger than they used to be. I was pretty ok with the way things turned out, but tried to make sure E never got a good look at my new stomach.

Nearly three years later we got pregnant again, this time a boy. A few of my stretchmarks deepened, my face got swollen again, but all in all not too bad. Except for two days where my legs swelled up like sausages and I got stretchmarks all down the length of my legs. They were so dark and friend kept asking me what happened to my legs, did I fall? It was summer and I wore shorts and skirts in an attempt to keep cool. There was no hiding them. I carried him lower and bigger than my first, everyone swore I must be having twins. The heaviest I got was only 4lbs more than I had gotten with my daughter. Although my the first thing my mother-in-law said when she saw him was that he had my double chin. Two months after I turned 22 he was born and weighted a healthy 7lbs 6oz. The weight took a lot longer to lose and my goal was never to be thin, just less belly. Two years later I was down to 117 and had gotten pretty good at concealing my still loose tummy. However, my stomach is still the thickest part of me and it never really gets better. I lose weight it gets saggy, I gain any it starts there first and people ask if I’m pregnant.

Now it’s been almost 6 years since I had my boy and I’m the heaviest I’ve even been without being pregnant. Admittedly I have been eating more junk food lately. It seems that now that I’m approaching 30, my body is finally gaining weight, much easier than I though was possible. I don’t really care about the number on the scale, my doctor says my BMI is right where it should be.. But I feel fat now. I know I’m not but clothes just don’t fit right and seem to always make my stomach look big. I think because I used to be so thin, it’s warped how I see myself. After all I’m 6-7 sizes bigger than I was before, so feeling bigger than I was is inevitable. I could work out more, but I’m afraid I’ll get too skinny again. I never want to be that girl again, but I wouldn’t mind loosing the stretch marks and maybe being a little more tone. I’ve got hips now, but also a muffin top. My husband (the same guy who was the only one to call me beautiful) insists I look great, but I can’t believe him even though I know it could have been worse. I’ve thought about having more kids, but we can’t afford it, two is enough for now. There’s also a part of me which is terrified as to what another baby would do to my body.

This is what I look like today and even though there’s a few things I’d change, if I couldn’t I’d be at peace with it. There’s more to my story, but I tried to keep it more about the physical changes that came with my children.