Belly

28, and still coming to grips with my new body (M)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions, Tattoo 11 Comments

My pre-birth weight was about 140, and I am 5′ 9″. I am a former athlete that was used to a typical body weight of 160-165, so the loss of almost 20 lbs in muscle mass was a huge loss in dress sizes as well as curves. I was pretty used to be a little on the curvy and muscular side. Losing that much mass (due to being a vegan for nearly 8 months; don’t ask). When I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant, I started asking my midwife’s assistant to stop saying my weight out loud when I got weighed, and would routinely turn the other direction when she took my weight. I felt completely healthy, and I didn’t like that they would occasionally make a comment about how much I had gained. I do estimate that I was about 205 when I gave birth. And trust me; it was ALL baby.

I’d like to say that I was much happier with my body before my son was born, but the truth is that I never really was. I look back on that now and remember what it was like to have a stretchmark-free stomach, and regret not relishing the shape of my body while I still had it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was completely happy the bigger I got with him. I loved the fullness of being pregnant, and relishing the fact that I was totally without any stretching, until I hit 7 months, when I noticed a little cluster above my pelvic region, and that’s when I, much like many other women, completely panicked. It wasn’t long before I realized that there was now no way to stop the inevitable, and luckily I was able to keep from really paying much mind to them, because they were below my belly button, which was over the proverbial hill, where I couldn’t see them.

It wasn’t until after my son was finally born and my stomach deflated that I saw for the first time all the angry red striations all over my belly. It was in the weeks after my son was born that it really sunk in for me how much my body had changed, and how I was most likely never going to be the same.

I spent a lot of the next months avoiding looking directly at myself in the mirror, or really looking at myself the way I used to, almost like it was someone else I was looking at.

I was positively elated when I fond this site, that, like me, the mothers of the world were stretched and a bit saggy, and all finding ourselves trying to come to terms with how much things are different, and what we’ve had to give up for our children.

Each of the stories I have read have been beautiful and inspiring, which is why I chose to share mine as well. Though it’s nothing specific, and sometimes a thing I don’t have to focus on, just the knowledge that both my overly-bloated stomach (which, I confess; I suck in 70% of the time I’m in public and can’t get away with letting it hang out), and my droopy breasts happened because I had my son, comforts me. My boyfriend, who’s never seen me without my mother’s body, still thinks my body is beautifully shaped, and we enjoy being physical together, I have to admit that I am looking forward to a time in the future (which I hope will be near, and not far!), when I am able to slim down a bit more on the weight I put on during my pregnancy.

You may also choose to include:
~Age: 28
~Number of pregnancies and births: 1 pregnancy, resulted in 1 live birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 12 months (as of 1/29/2010)

My Body Take 3 (Emma)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breastfeeding, Breasts, Child Loss, Ectopic, Postpartum, Submissions, Third Pregnancy 14 Comments

I don’t think I have much to say, I am 22 years old and have three gorgeous sons, Jacob age 5 years, Benjamin age 3 years and Arthur who is 8 days old :-) Here I am with the youngest at 8 days post-partum. I felt incredibly empowered and attractive when I took these photos, and I chose not to edit them at all. You can see stretch marks from all three pregnancies on my stomach, hips and breasts, and surgery scars from the ectopic pregnancy. Also featured are self-harm scars from my teenage years. It took me a long time to love my body like this, but I wouldn’t have it any other way now.

Starting to Accept My New Body (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Child Loss, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 9 Comments

~Age: 24
~Number of pregnancies and births: 3 pregnancies, 1 birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: 4 months post partum

After two miscarriages I finally have my beautiful baby! Throughout pregnancy I loved my new body and was amazed watching it grow. I was lucky, I didn’t have stretch marks and I didn’t gain much extra weight. I was genuinely happy with the way I looked for the first time ever and enjoyed the special feeling of knowing that I was carrying a special, secret little person inside my big bump.

All that changed when I had my daughter.

After what many would class as an ‘unnecessary’ (or at the very least ‘premature’) caesarian I struggled to bond with my daughter, I struggled to accept the birth that she had had and struggled to come to terms with the difference in my body. I think the fact that I hadn’t given birth to her myself made the whole idea very abstract: to suddenly go from a pregnant belly with squirming baby inside to jelly belly and all of a sudden I am handed this baby. Well it was hard to accept. To top it off I suddenly woke up with stretch marks. Not only on my hips but on my breasts! That one blindsided me.

Four months on and I feel I have made some progress. I have always had small breasts so breastfeeding has been a real bonus – “nature’s boob job” someone called it and how right they are! In these photos I have just fed my daughter but they are normally a good size bigger. I am pleased to have a bit more curve to my top half.

I am not so upset with my figure. I have always carried a little extra fat (I was a UK12 pre-pregnancy and am a UK14 now) but I can usually hide the flab under my clothing. I even went on holiday recently and wore a bikini (although I did feel extremely self conscious in it).

The scar has healed better than I thought it would but it is still an ugly reminder of the way things went, but it is also proof that I have conceived and nurtured an incredible little life inside me for 9 months. It is hard to accept my body. I was no racing snake before but it is still a big change and hard to come to terms with. But my husband has been amazing and makes me feel just as sexy as when we first started going out. He has helped my self confidence and self esteem no end!

As for bonding, I am still waiting for someone to knock on the door and tell me “it’s all a big joke, you have to give her back now!”. I hope it never happens and I am constantly amazed at this incredible little person that we have created together.

I happened across this website by chance and I am so glad I did. I immediately wanted to participate. I wasn’t shy about showing off my pregnant body (not to this extent I hasten to add!) but I was still very hesitant. I thought about doing ‘underwear shots’ but then decided I would bare all and go for the full monty! And how liberating! I have never ever taken nude photos of myself before and I am so glad I did. If my stretch marks, love handles and podgy bits make other ladies feel even a little bit better about themselves then I am glad I did it. Thank you!!

Photos attached are at 33 weeks pregnant and 4 months (18 weeks) post partum.

New Baby, Same Body (Kyra)

Bonnie (SOAM) Before Pregnancy, Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Pregnant, Submissions 11 Comments

Age: 27
Months Postpartum: 5

I’ve been planning on this post for over a year. I visited this site frequently, before, during and after my pregnancy. I love reading all your stories. There is something I can relate to in each one. I think us women should remember that we are more alike than we are different. So I am honored to be able to share my baby/mommy story with others.

My husband and I became pregnant with our first daughter in November 2008. Naturally, it was one of the best days of my life. The first 14 weeks were a real nail-biter because I had had a miscarriage July 2008 at 12 weeks. During the first trimester I had daily ‘afternoon’ sickness. I’d have to veer my Jeep off the road coming home from work, swing open the door and, well, you know! Needless to say, I actually lost a few pounds. When that passed, I ate ravenously for the next 6 weeks or so and gained 20 pounds stat. My weight gain, and appetite stabilized for the remainder of my pregnancy and I gained about 1lb a week until the last three weeks when I gained nothing. The total was 35lbs on my 5’4″ frame.

I didn’t try to control anything during my pregnancy. I decided to let my body dictate what it wanted. I ate when I was hungry and went out for a walk when I felt like it (which was not very often :-). There was no exercise or nutrition regime. I tend to eat healthier anyways though I still indulged my cravings for Ben and Jerry’s and Cheetos. Two words to describe my pregnancy : sick and tired.

My sweet baby girl was born after 7.5 hours of labor. I labored for 5 hours at home and by the time we got to the hospital I was 10cm and ready to go. Trust me, that wasn’t planned. I didn’t expect my first pregnancy to progress that fast. I thought I had a good 14-16 hours or so! The nurses were debating having me deliver in triage. But my husband made them wheel me to a suite, which was a good thing because I spent the next 2 hours pushing. No progress! And NO medication! Mercifully, the attending doctor gave me the option of a forceps delivery which I readily accepted. When her head crowned, it was the most intense pain I have ever felt! No wonder they call it the ‘ring of fire’ :-) But it WAS kind of spiritual in a way and I’m glad it was there. A few minutes later my beautiful baby daughter Anna was born at 5lbs 15oz. I was on a ‘baby high’ for the next few weeks I was so happy! I honestly didn’t even get the baby blues.

I never got her to latch on without a nipple shield (&other reasons) so an Ameda double pump was my best friend for the next 3 months. I had to use nipple pads from the 4th month of pregnancy until I stopped breast feeding – leaking sucked. By the way, my breasts are not as perky as the sports bra in my ‘after’ picture makes them seem. I wish. That’s my biggest post-pregnancy body change.

At 3 months, after I switched to formula, I lost another 10lbs. Also around that time I began to lose my hair at a pretty alarming rate. I do have super long hair which is probably why it seemed so bad. But it has recently begun to taper off. Phew!

I love my daughter sooooo much! I never gave her a pacifier so she sucks on her ring&middle finger to soothe herself. She started sleeping through the night from 7pm-7am around 3 months and is eating 1st foods. I am so proud of her! I give her baths in the tub with me and she’d rather play with her shampoo bottle and the silver tub hardware, than her toys. She is such a joy! We definitely plan to have another child in a few years – I’ll keep you updated!

The 1st and 2nd pictures were taken at my 6th week, when I found out I was pregnant: 110 lbs, C-cup
The 3rd and 4th pictures were taken at my 38th week, a few days before I gave birth. You can really see the weight on my face and my wedding rings didn’t fit so they are around my neck: 145 lbs, D-cup
The 5th and 6th pictures were taken 1/29/2010, about 5 months postpartum: 105 lbs, small C-cup
The 7th and 8th pictures were taken when my daughter was 3 months old.

This is beautiful??? (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Mom over 30, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 21 Comments

I don’t understand how many of you ladies can consider this as still being beautiful. I can’t stand the sight of my stomach…it is a stomach of a 90 year old woman on a 30 year old body. I am not overweight, I am happy with the rest of my body, but I just hate this stomach. Yes, I know that it is a stomach of a mother who has two children….but you know what…I don’t care…I don’t care what my body went through…it became something so ugly, so unreal to me! I can’t even feel comfortable during intimate moments with my husband, I have to wear something to cover up. When I bend down, my stomach skin or fat (whatever it is) just hangs down. I’ve never seen anything like this before…Here are some of my photos. The last one is of my hanging stomach when I bend down, lol. Thanks for listening!

AGE: 30
NUMBER OF PREGNANCIES AND BIRTHS: 2 PG, 2 BIRTHS
AGE OF CHILDREN: 3 AND 5

My Twin Mom Body @ 1 Year Postpartum (Anonymous)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Breasts, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions, Twins 22 Comments

I delivered twin boys via c-section in January ’09 at age 38. Now I am 39 (40 later this year). For many years pre-pregnancy, I worked out frequently and intensely. I am 5’5″ tall, and at the time I got pregnant (my first and only pregnancy), I was very fit and weighed about 120 pounds. I definitely was concerned with what pregnancy would do to my body, but I also knew I had to gain a great deal of weight, and do so relatively quickly, since twins were more likely than not to come early, and I wanted mine to be as big and healthy as possible. I exercised mildly through week 30 or so, and religiously applied vitamin E oil to my belly, back, butt and thighs, though I knew this would probably have little or no effect. By the day I delivered at 34 weeks (when my preeclampsia became too severe for my doctor to allow me to continue with the pregnancy), I weighed over 190 pounds; my boys weighed 4 lbs & 3 oz., and 4 lbs 13 oz. at delivery. Although they had to spend a couple of weeks gaining weight in the NICU, the doctors and nurses all told me how impressed they were with boys’ sizes given their gestational age.

I nursed and pumped my breasts until the boys were 6 months old, and then switched to formula. During this time, when I wasn’t going crazy taking care of twin infants, I was despondent about my weight and my body but had absolutely no time to exercise or do anything else for myself. I wore maternity clothes for at least 4 months postpartum, and then bought 2 pairs of large cargo pants (I couldn’t come to terms with buying any other “big” clothing), and wore them to death, along with empire-waisted nursing tops. Lots of weight came off, but still I couldn’t stand the sight of myself naked, and avoided my friends and colleagues. By July ’09 I was down to around 145 pounds.

By September ’09, I was still up about 20 pounds, and vowed to do something about it. By that time I had the assistance of a nanny to help with the kids, and could take some time to exercise. I started going back to the gym, but even with help it was too difficult to have to schedule workouts outside the house. I committed myself to a home workout program, and followed through (note this involves approximately 1,000 abdominal exercise repetitions weekly — in addition to very challenging resistance routines for each major muscle group). By Thanksgiving, I felt like I had 90% of my old body back. I am now half-way through my second round of the program, and I can actually see my old body when I look in the mirror — so long as I’m standing far back enough not to notice that my areolas are a bit stretched out, and I have a bit of extra skin on my belly. I am actually very self-conscious about my areolas, but the extra belly skin is okay and I love my c-section scar!

My husband hasn’t given me any positive feedback on my body whatsoever. I have worked my butt off (literally), and am really pretty proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished, which is why I’m sharing here.

As for my boys, they are absolutely amazing. Within a few months, they were all caught up in terms of their prematurity. Now, at just over a year out, they are healthy, hilarious, gorgeous and smart. I love them beyond all measure.

Loose Skin, Severe Stretch Marks and Optimistic! (Nicole)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, First Pregnancy, Postpartum, Submissions 21 Comments

Age: 24
Number of Pregnancies: 1
9 months Postpartum

I never in a million years ever thought my beautiful belly would be tarnished the way that it is now. Maybe it was naive of me, but I didn’t realize it was even possible to look like this just from having a baby. I found this site when I was in the middle of my pregnancy and I will be honest it scared the living daylights out of me! But after having my beautiful baby girl… and then standing in front of the mirror… I knew I would never be the same.

I struggled sooo much with my new body for the first 6 months. Then I just decided it is what it is and I am going to be proactive. I have been on Weight Watchers for about a month now and am down 10 pounds. I want to lose quite a bit more and I will be sticking with it until I am satisfied and at a healthy weight. I started at 185 and I am 5’5″. I hope to get down to 125-135 lbs. I am also trying to take very good care of my skin and hoping for the best with my stomach. The skin is extremely loose and the stretch marks are very extreme. But what can I do about that? I am going to focus on what I can do and that is get into the best shape of my life. Yes, my stomach may never look like it once did, but one look at my baby girl and it doesn’t matter.

There’s more to life than looks. Unfortunately, in this day and age when there is so much emphasis on how women look it’s hard to always remember that. But I am trying to stay focused and dedicated and to be honest, I am very excited to see the new me several months from now- saggy skin, stretch marks and all! I will be healthier and more toned and quite possibly more happy with my looks than I have been in a long time!! I want to be a fun active mom for my daughter as well, so that is additional motivation to get in shape.

Anywho, these are my pics… be prepared, after seeing everyones I can honestly say mine are the worst, however, it is what it is, right?? I hope all of us dealing with body issues can find acceptance with ourselves in time. After all, bodies are meant for more than just looking “hot.” They are meant to love our children, hold them when they need us, play with them, watch them grow, experience life in so many ways- to the fullest. There’s no way I’m letting stretchmarks or loose skin stop me from enjoying my life everyday. It’s a gift. No matter how it’s packaged. Fragile and fleeting.

Keep your chins up! Acceptance is there. It’s just a matter of changing your perspective. After all, everything changes once you have children!! Let it be for the better. <3 Here I am 9 months postpartum. [gallery]

Overcome with Emotion (Liz)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Complications in Pregnancy, Mothers with Health Complications, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions 5 Comments

I had a baby boy by c section in July of 2003 and I was overjoyed. I gained 65 pounds with the pregnancy, and lost a small portion of it slowly over 6 years. In February 2009, I wasn’t happy at all with the way I looked and it showed in my marraige. I felt for many years that my husband wasn’t attracted to me. I found out I was pregnant on Valentines Day 2009. I had a very hard pregnancy in which I developed a heart condition as well as preeclampsia. I was bed ridden from 8 weeks on. Needless to say this didn’t do much for my already struggling sex life. Moving foward I delivered a baby boy by c section on September 22nd. He was 5 weeks premature and had health issues. I became very depressed. I have pulled out of the depression some, while talking to my doctor and support from my friends and family…but EVERY time I look in the mirror I cry. I am overcome with emotion about how much I hate my body. I love my baby so much and I would never change anything but how could I be so ugly? I cannot excersize due to the heart condition that has lingered after pregnancy. The stress of a preemie drove me to the fridge…the only comfort I had. My husband tries to be nice but is is clear that he is not attracted to me at all. He has trouble getting in the mood and I can understand why. I have never felt uglier or fatter in my entire life.

I am 29 years old
4 months post partum
2 beautiful baby boys delivered c section one 6 one 4 months

First pic is me 4 months post partum, then my 2 boys, then me before my second pregnancy

Mum of three babies after 2 pregnancies -Twins (Natasha)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cesarean, Cesarean Scar and/or Incision, Postpartum, Pregnant, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Twins, Update 14 Comments

I had my first daughter at 19. I had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy and a beautiful natural birth. I carried small, and my body returned to normal very soon after Anna was born. At the time I thought it was so different, and struggled for a short time to come to terms with those changes. I now realise of course that those changes were SO miniscule and I wish I had appreciated the body that I had before my second pregnancy far more than I did. I loved it for providing me with my child, but struggled to come to terms with the physical changes and didn’t appreciate how good I looked for having had a baby. I made a submission here after Anna’s birth. As Anna approached 1 year old, we decided to try for our second child as we wanted a close age gap and I want to go to university and work on a career, but not before I have my family. I did not want to wait 4 years to get my degree and however long it took to find employment in my chosen work area and however long it would take to fall pregnant… at that rate our little girl would be 6 or 7 by the time she had a brother or sister, and that was just too long for us.

We tried for our second pregnancy for 6 months before we fell, and sadly we lost that pregnancy. We were lucky to fall again the next month, and when I started bleeding heavily at 7 weeks I was so sure we had lost another pregnancy, however when we were scanned at the EPU at 8 weeks gestation, we were given the wonderful, incredible news – There was not a heartbeat, but there were two! – We were expecting TWINS! I got really big with the twins, it was nothing like what I experienced with Anna, and began to dread how I would look after the birth – expecting the worst.

I had a hard time of the pregnancy. I went into preterm labour at 31 weeks when my waters broke, but they were able to stop the labour and I went on to 34 weeks 5 days before they induced me due to the risk of infection from my ruptured membranes and suspected IUGR of twin 2. I had a traumatic birth where, after I had reached 10cm all by myself with no pain relief, the doctors and midwives took control and interfered in my birth in ways that confused and terrified me. I felt scared and violated – suddenly the contractions were unbearably painful and I struggled to push my babies out as I was forced to lay on a table with my arms strapped down and my legs in stirrups. I successfully gave birth to “twin 1” who we called Sophie-Rose. It angers me in hindsight that I had to ask for my arms to be unstrapped before I could hold my baby. After she was born the midwives pushed on my tummy to try to encourage “twin 2” to come down. This also angers me as I soon started to haemorrhage, and my placenta detached before my second daughter was born, which I fully believe was as a direct result from this pushing and prodding on my uterus from the outside. Because of this, I had to have a caesarean for my second daughter’s birth. I was knocked out with a general anaesthetic and my daughter was cut from my body. I didn’t get to see her for some hours until I had come around from the GA. We called our beautiful, tiny, “twin 2”, Grace.

My caesarean scar is a constant reminder of how wrong that birth was, and I feel like I let Grace down that she didn’t benefit from natural birth and have a cuddle straight after birth like both of her sisters did. The other marks on my body make me proud, though. My body has changed a lot more than it did with my first pregnancy and birth – my tummy is covered in stretchmarks and I have a slight overhang above my caesarean scar, but these are all reminders to me that I carried, nurtured and loved my babies with everything I had in me, for almost 8 months. I feel like a true mother, and my “mummy tummy” is a badge of honour – It speaks to the world and to all who see it, and it says, “this is more than a woman – this is a MOTHER.” It tells the story of the amazing journey that I have been through of pregnancy and birth, and of carrying three babies through two pregnancies. There is no achievement greater than that, and I am so proud.

My baby girls are so perfect, all three of them. I breastfed Anna for 16 months until she stopped asking for it, and I am planning on breastfeeding the twins until they decide it is time as well :-) I’m so grateful to the universe that no matter how they arrived here on earth, I have been blessed with three amazing, beautiful little girls and that makes me one of the luckiest people in existence.

I only wanted and planned on having two children (I got a bonus baby!) but after this birth experience… Initially I was so sure I would never want any more children ever again – not just because we had had all the pregnancies we had planned for, but because I had been so traumatised that I didn’t think I COULD do it again. But now, part of me yearns to have a fourth baby some time (not any time soon!), just to prove to myself what can be done. Not that it will right the wrongs of the birth that I experienced with the twins, but it would heal some of the hurt I have been left with after that birth, if I could do it again and do it RIGHT. I still yearn for that last perfect birth that I feel was taken from me in the theatre room where I birthed my last two children. Part of me feels it would be helpful and healing to do it again before I’m done, maybe after my degree is complete and I have been working for a few years, so when the girls are 7 or 8… I’d have to convince my husband on that one, though – as he is as offput as I was after the whole ordeal that I don’t think he’d be willing to risk me going through it all again :-(

The attached photos are:
1 – 28 weeks bump photo
2 – One month postpartum side on
3 – One month postpartum other side
4 – One month post partum face on
5 – One month post partum tummy only
6 – Caesarean scar

~Age: 21
~Number of pregnancies and births: 2 pregnancies, 2 natural births and 1 caesarean birth
~The age of your children, or how far postpartum you are: Anna is aged 22 months, and Sophie-Rose and Grace are 1 month old (so 1 month post partum)

Triplet Mom + One – Update (Tabitha)

Bonnie (SOAM) Belly, Cosmetic and/or Reconstructive Surgery, Hernia, Postpartum, Second Pregnancy, Submissions, Tattoo, Triplets, Update 11 Comments

Original entry here.

23years old
2pregnancies
Riley(g) Aiden(b) Chloe(g) age 2 1/2
Brennan 11months

This is an update, i had GGB triplets in 07 and then a singleton boy in 09. I was a mother to 4 before i turned 23. The stress my body underwent was amazing! I had a gap in my ab muscles big enough to feel my spine through, i also had a TON of sagging skin that i couldnt see my feet past. I eventually got to the point that i was so unhappy with myself that i would have done anything to get it all taken care of. I went to my doc to see about a tummy tuck not thinking it would happen. After about a month of physical therapy for my back because of the gap in my muscles and a few appointments in a plastic surgeon and eventually a hernia, my surgery got approved! Being that my husband is military its extremely hard to get a surgery like that approved without having problems directly involved with the pregnancies. My hernia was a blessing in disguise! On Dec 4th 2009 i got to go in for my tummy tuck. I was really nervous leaving my babies for something like this. I never leave them unless its just for a minute and thats normally only to head out for a break. So i was beside myself because i always seem to think of the worst possible outcome on things like this. The surgery went great! I dont think ive ever been so happy besides when my babies were born. I never thought i would look like a 23 year old again! I cant play with the kids better and longer now, im not so down and depressed because i hated the way i looked, i get dressed and actually put my face on and do my hair now, when before it was hard to just get out of a big t-shirt and sweats! I can happily say that i love my body! I still have a few left over stretch marks to remind me of the pregnancies which i love! The doctor did such a great job that my tummy looks natural, like its always been that way. My triplets are now 2 1/2 and my littlest is almost one, a lot has happened in the past couple of years but its all been amazing!